Chapter 3: Up Sh*t Creek Without a paddle, and Metaknight in drag.

Everybody was preparing themselves for what was behind them. S-l-o-w-l-y they turned around. Behind them was the most terrifying, horrific diabolical beast to ever stalk the earth. It was.....Tuff in full female dress. Our heros lost all control right there and began to scream bloody murder. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Everyone began to frantically search for a weapon to kill the beast. Finally, King Dedede came up with not his hammer, but a pencil. He jumped on the cappy in drag and began to jab him hard with the sharp end of the pencil repeatedly while yelling, "THIS ONE'S FOR ALL THE STRAIGHT CAPPY KIDS YOU FOOLED ALL YOUR LIFE, YOU QUEER B*STARD!! Tuff was trying to reach for his bra, so he could strangle him, but the lingerie was under his frilly dress, and so now he was trying his hardest to rip the waistline of the dress so he could reach the clothing item in question. When this failed, He ripped off the dress and yelled, "PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM, KING DEDEDE!!!" The clearing was awkwardly silent. Tiff turned her head and began to giggle. Then the clearing exploded in laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Everyone was laughing so hard that they were half- sobbing. "What are you laughing at?!?!?!" Tuff demanded. King Dedede pointed at him, tried to talk, but then busted out laughing so hard that his face turned a shade of red only seen in streetfights. Tuff looked down. And then he blushed beet red. In his haste to rip the dress off to use his sword, he'd accidentally ripped off all his clothes, and believe me, his talent was a joke. He stood there, in the nude, until he just couldn't take it anymore and ran into the woods covering his face. The laughter continued for 3 and 1/2 more hours, until everyone was so sore and limp, that they looked as if they had no bones. King Dedede took a big, shuddery breath, and let out one more gale of forceful laughter before he got control of himself, "O-Okay *heh heh heh* Let's... Let's f-finish our *sputter* H....HA.... HOTDOGS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" King Dedede collected himself and began to roast a weenie. Then Kirby just had to get him started again. He yelled, "RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!" King Dedede lost control again, only this time, he fell over and began to pound the ground. He laughed until it hurt. When he began to fizzle out, he said, "Hee hee hee- Ouch- Okay, I'm done." They sat around the campfire roasting their weenies. after the weenies were all eaten, they sat around the campfire, not knowing what to do until the ghost arrived. King Dedede got an idea. He asked, Has anyone heard that song? The one they play on christmas from the tree angels' point of view?" "no, said Tuff, "Sing it for us." So King Dedede began to sing it, except he magled the lyrics badly:

~I'd like to find the guy who done me wrong and stuck my butt up in this christmas tree. I'd do to him what he did to me... Who put the stump up my Rump- pump- pump- pump- pump, Who shoved the twig up my Ramma- lamma- Ding- Dong, Who put the wood where I poop- she- poop- she- poop Who shoved the stick up my hip- dee- dip- dee- dip Who was that man? He shoved it up my can, And made this angel beg for mercy please. Each night when I'm alone, Scratchity-scratchity-scratchity-scratchity-scratchity-shoo! It sets my tiny bottom all on fire. And every time I move, Slip-it-in-dee-din-slip-it-in-dee-din, A little further in it goes! (A/N: This part of the song is spoken. By the way, I'm NOT anti-Christ.) King Dedede in a little Kid's voice: "That sure is a pretty christmas angel!" King Dedede in his normal voice playing the part of the christmas angel: Hey! What about that star?! That's a Pretty star!! (He makes a gross sound effect.) King Dedede in his normal voice playing the part of the christmas angel again: Ouch! Ow! Aw, Geez! Ouch!

By the end of the song, Everyone was rolling on the ground laughing their *sses off. Then They heard a sound in the woods that sounded like a siren. Kirby then told them a wierd story, "Once I was in the middle of the road after a wild party. I was really drunk, and I saw an approaching spaceship with a message on the front. Their letters looked like backwards versions of our letters. I didn't understand it, but I think it was a warning to get out of the way, Because there were also flashing lights and a loud siren before it hit me." King Dedede looked at him strangely. "By any chance, Did you see this spaceship in front of a hospital?" "Yes." said Kirby. "And was the word on the spaceship Ecnalubma?" "Yes, it was, how did you know?" "Uhhhh..." Said King Dedede, "Lucky guess." Tuff yawned. "I'm tired, let's crash for the night." Everyone said goodnight and went off to bed.

***

The next morning, Everyone went hiking to kill the boredom. they found the creek and began to follow it, just for the heck of it. They continued to walk up the creek, until Escargoon pointed out a sign along the creek It was a very funny sign to see at a creek. It read:

SH*T CREEK

"Were going up Sh*t Creek without a paddle!!" Exclaimed Kirby. After everyone had a good laugh over that, They continued to walk up the creek. Something was peeking out of Tuff's bag. It jumped out of his backpack and on to Escargoon's face. Once again, You guessed it. It was The octorok. Escargoon began to scream like a girl and claw at the monster, Scratching his face badly in the process and causing everyone to turn around. He sounded something like, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HELP ME!! IT'S GOT ME AND IT'S GONNA KILL ME! HEEEEEEEEEELP!!" King Dedede ran over to Escargoon and was trying to pull the octopus off of him. When he discovered Escargoon was thrashing to hard for him to get close enough to pull it off, He held him down and ordered Tuff to pull it off. After it was off, Escargoon continued to scream until King Dedede slapped him across the face again. The other 3 in the group were surprised and finally, Tiff asked, "What is going on here?" King Dedede had to explain about The first octopus monster. Then, the conversation was interrupted by a sound:

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRBY................. KING DEDEDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... ESCARGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.................. TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF................. TUUUUUUUUUUUFF.........."

"What was that?" Asked Tiff. "Quiet!" Said King Dedede.

"COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE............... COME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....................... YOU CAN'T RESIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST........"

The voice was faint and came and went with the wind. Our Heroes cautiously crept forward.

"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTER........... FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTER........"

Everyone hesitated. Then the voice talked nomally:

"I SAID 'FASTER' YOU IDIOTS!! DON'T YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!?!?!"

They hurried towards the voice. They eventually reached an old tunnel.

"COME IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN........... I'M WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIITING FOR YOU...

They walked in to the tunnel and got the shock of their lives.

End of Chapter 3