Chapter 13: Attack of the Ice Dragon Reject
Our Five heroes continued the long trek through the forest to find Miruku and the ghost.It was still cold, and everyone was freezing their butts off. The boredom was so thick, that if you tried to cut it with a knife, the blade would bounce off, stab you in the chest, and kill you instantly. Suddenly, King Dedede calls out, "OKAY!!! THIS CHAPTER IS AS BORING AS HECK, SO I'M DECLARING A JOKE-OFF!!!" And the jokes were on. Here was Kirby's joke,
Q: What does it mean when your little brother is gasping and calling your mom's name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Tiff:
Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishin'
Tuff:
Q: What did the dedede say when he saw a box of cheerios?
A: "Cool! Doughnut seeds!"
(A/N: King Dedede and Hoshi socked him for that.)
Ni-Kaabi:
A man had a problem. Every night he farted in his sleep. So his wife tells him, "If you don't stop, you're gonna fart your guts out." She was a butcher, so she put pig scraps in his pants while he was sleeping that night. The next morning when they woke up he was in the bathroom for two hours. Finally he comes out and says, "Honey, you were right about me farting my guts out." Then he holds up two fingers and says, "BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS, I GOT 'EM BACK IN."
Hoshi:
Q: What is the hard part of eating vegetables?
A: Getting around the wheelchair.
Escargoon:
Q: What is the theme song for beginning doctors?
A:Oops I did it Again
King Dedede:
Q: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX?
A: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
(A/N: King Dedede's joke was so dirty, that if I told it, it would blow up my computer.)
Everyone voted for Ni-Kaabi, except King Dedede and Escargoon, who both voted for King Dedede. Suddenly, they heard someone coming. "Metaknight Approachith!" Called Hoshi. Metaknight stops in front of them, gasping for breath, "Came....... As....... Quick....... as....... I....... could......" "Spit it out." said Kirby. Metaknight took a deep breath, "The reason the snow fell on us so suddenly is because the Ice Dragon's Brother, the Snow Dragon, is on the loose and he's after you." "Um.... Technically, isn't the Ice Dragon the same as the Snow Dragon?" said Kirby. "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!?!?!? THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!" Everyone stared at Metaknight. "You need to be prepared for this fight. First, you must gather some toilet paper." Escargoon looked scared. "We've got that!" said Tuff. "Next, You need matches." "Got those!" Said King Dedede, holding up a book of matches labeled 'arson'. He sees the label and pulls it off, blushing. "Now stand on one leg and cluck like a chicken." "BRAWK BRAWK BRAWK!!" "Wait!! I bet that was NOT on the list of top priorities!!!" said Ni-Kaabi. "No, but it's been on my list of top priorities for years now. But now, we must travel to the Snow Dragon!
***
Our heroes walked on through the snow. There was not much going on, and everyone was really bored. as they settled dowqn to camp that night, King Dedede thought of something, "Hey, has anyone heard, Stink-Foot, by Frank Zappa? "No, Sing It!" So he began:
~In the dark~ ~Where all the fevers grow~ ~Under the water~ ~Where the shark bubbles blow~ ~In the morning~ ~By yer Radio~ ~Do the walls close in t'suffocate ya~ ~You ain't got no friends, and all the others they hate ya~ ~Does the life you've been livin' gotta go, hmmmm?~ ~Well let me straighten you out~ ~About a place I know~ ~(Get yer shoes 'n' socks on people, it's right around the corner)~ ~Out through the night an' the whispering breezes to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases~ ~Out through the night an' the whispering breezes to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases~ (Spoken) This has to be the disease for you. Scientists call this disease bromidrosis, but us regular folk, who might wear tennis shoes or the occaisonal python boot know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of STINK-FOOT (Sung) ~Y'know my python boot is too tight~ ~I couldn't get it off last night~ ~A week went by~ ~An' now it's July~ ~ I finally got it off, an' my girlfriend cried, "You got stink-foot"~ ~Stink-foot darlin~ ~Your stink-foot puts a hurt on my nose~ ~Stink-foot, stink-foot I ain't lyin'. can ya rinse it off do you suppose?~ (Spoken) Here, Fido...Fido... C'mere little puppy... bring the slippers. "Arf arf arf (Right here the sound of breaking glass plays.) Heh heh heh... Sick. (A/N: Right Here, there is a long instrumental, so let's just say King Dedede hummed this part.) ~Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over and he looked me straight in the eye.~ ~An' you know what he said?~ ~Once upon a time~ ~Somebody say to me~ ~(This is a dog talkin' now)~ ~What is your conceptual continuity?~ ~Well I told him right there, Fido said~ ~It should be easy to see~ ~The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe~ ~Well the man who was talkin' to the dog looked at the dog an' he said, sort of staring in disbelief~ ~"You can't say that"~ ~He said~ ~It doesn't. And you can't. I won't. An' it don't. It hasn't. It Isn't. It even Ain't. An' it shouldn't. It couldn't~ ~He told me no no no~ ~I told him yes yes yes~ ~I said I do it all the time~ ~Ain't this boogie a mess~ ~The poodle bi-i-i-ites, The poodle chews it~ ~The poodle bi-i-i-ites, The poodle chews it.~
Everyone clapped and cheered. Then Metaknight looks around and says, "I think we can stop to camp here. It looks pretty safe to me. They all began to sit down around the campfire to eat, drink, and play truth or dare, except for metaknight who once had a bad experience with this game involving monkeys. "King Dedede, truth or dare? says Kirby. "Truth." Said King Dedede. "What was the grossest thing that ever happened to you?" "Well, it went like this......" Said King Dedede....
*Flashback*
King Dedede is trying to feed a baby monster that he attempted to keep as a pet. it appears to be a red baby dragon. she is trying to take the bottle from him.
King Dedede: That's it little dragon. Eat th-
(Suddenly, the baby dragon pukes all over him. Unfortunately for King Dedede, The dragon was a fire dragon, and her barf was like boiling chili.)
King Dedede HOLY FREAKIN SH*T!!!! I'M BEIN' FRIED IN DRAGON VOMIT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!
(He continues to run around sceaming with the dragon watching.)
*End of flashback*
Kirby was laughing really hard by the end of the story. "Ha ha ha! How funny! you almost got pukefried!" King Dedede rolled his eyes, "Hoshi, Truth or dare?" "Dare." she said, grinning evily. King Dedede looks straight at Kirby and gives him that same evil grin. "I dare you to give Kirby a big kiss right here. Hoshi leans over. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Kirby tried to run, but King Dedede was holding him down. Hoshi puckered up, with everyone watching the scene in front of them. Hoshi lunged forward and planted a big, honkin' smooch on Kirby's mouth. She drew back. "How was it? said Ni-Kaabi. Kirby was thinking, "Mmmmmmmmm..... that was kinda nice." But he said, "It was just nasty." Hoshi slapped him and said, "Ni-Kaabi, truth or dare?" "Truth" He said. "What is your favorite TV show? Ni-Kaabi hesitated. "Um....... Powerpuff Girls?" All was silent for about 10 seconds. Then the whole clearing, even Ni-Kaabi, exploded into laughter. After everyone was done laughing themselves to quivering mounds of limp muscle, Ni-Kaabi said, "Okay, *Hee hee* Tuff, truth or dare? "Truth!" "Okay, um.... what was your most embarrassing moment?" "Well....... said Tuff...........
*Flashback*
Tuff is in the kitchen making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He spreads on some peanut butter, and some wierd-looking jelly. He takes a bite.
Tuff: Mom, this sandwich tastes like sh*t.
Lady Like: Watch your mouth, Tuff! And it tastes funny because that's petroleum jelly, not the kind you eat.
(The scene closes with Tuff getting a look and running to the bathroom.)
Everyone was laughing by the end of the story. Tuff turned beet red and hung his head. He said, Truth or dare, Tiff? Tiff thought for a moment and said, "Dare." "I dare you to put a rat down your clothes. I've got the rat right here." Tiff hesitated, then grabbed the rat and stuffed it down the back of her clothes, screaming bloody murder. By the time she got the rat out, she was white from fear. E-E-Escargoon? T-T-Truth or dare? "Truth." said Escargoon. "Okay, Um, What was the stupidest you ever did?" Well............ Escargoon started his story......
*Flashback*
Escargoon is trying to cut a little off his mustache......... with a pair of hedge clippers.
Escargoon: Okay, let's see.........
(He accidentally cuts off one side of his mustache.)
Escargoon: D*MM*T!!! Well, now I have to cut off the other side........
(He cuts his face.)
Escargoon: OW, SH*T!!!
(When he jerks the scissors, he accidentally cuts off his beard, and in the process, he cuts his other hand REALLY deeply.)
Escargoon: SON OF A B*TCH!!!! Um....... King Dedede? I think I need to go to the hospital...
(Cut to: KIng Dedede sewing up Escargoon;s hand by himself......... without anything to numb it so Escargoon is tied to a chair and gagged so he can't move or scream.)
Escargoon: MMMMMMMMMPH!!! MMMMMM-MM-MMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!!!!
King Dedede: Oh shut up. This was your fault.
Escargoon: Mmm mmm mmph.
King Dedede: Yes It was.
Escargoon: Mmm mm-mph mm mm mmmph.
King Dedede: HEY!!! Leave my mama outta this, or I'll cut your other hand!!!
*End of flashback*
Once again, Everyone had a good laugh over that before Escargoon said, "Okay, Kirby, Truth or dare?" "Dare!" he said. " I dare you to........ eat a raw piece of meat." "Where are we gonna get the meat?" said Kirby. "I have a piece of raw pork in my bag." Escargoon pulls it out of his backpack. The meat was green and rotten. "Hey!" said Kirby, "You said raw, not rotten!" "Well it's the best I could do." Said Escargoon, sticking his tongue out at Kirby. Kirby picked up the rotten pork. It smelled like the bathrooms at the park after the big chili festival. He looked at it........... looked at it........... and popped it in his mouth and swallowed. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!" everyone in the clearing turned their heads and shut their eyes. "Yuck!" said King Dedede, "I can't believe you actually did it!!! That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen since Friday the 13th part 3!" Kirby looked up, "If I get sick. you're dead." "Hey, let's play 'I Never'!!!" said Ni-Kaabi. Everybody agreed. "I'll start." Said Ni-Kaabi, getting out a bottle of water. "I Never got drunk and spent all night talking to a water heater." Everyone except King Dedede took a drink. (A/N: In this game, If you agree with the statement, you take a drink.) King Dedede looked really embarrassed, took the bottle, and said, "I Never kissed an animal." Everyone except Hoshi took a drink. "What animal was it?" said Tiff. "It was a frog." said Hoshi. "I kissed him and he turned into Ni-Kaabi. But he was too young for me, so I kissed him again and I turned him back into a frog." "When did this happen?" said Tuff. "Just 5 minutes ago." said Hoshi. No one was sure if this was true or not. Hoshi picked up the bottle. "I've Never been pushed down a hill in a porta-potty. Everyone except Tuff and Metaknight took a drink. Tuff took the bottle next, "I Never thought lyme disease was a disease in limes." Everyone but Escargoon took a drink. He took the bottle and says, "I Never got food poisoning." Everyone but Kirby and King Dedede took a drink. "Kirby?" said Tiff, "When did you have it, cuz I REMEMBER when King Dedede had it." Kirby turned green. "Right now..." He ran to the bushes, where they heard him barfing. Since Kirby couldn't take the bottle, Metaknight did. "I never flashed an obscene hand gesture at a cop." Ni-Kaabi was the only person who didn't take a drink. He took the bottle. "I Never Kissed a member of the same sex." Only Tiff didn't take a drink. Everyone turned to look at her, so she yelled, "IT WAS ON A DARE!!!" At that moment, Kirby came from the bushes. "I'm sorry, Escargoon, but I must kill you now. He lunged at escargoon, who ran away like mad. Metaknight shot Kirby with a water gun. "OK, Kirby, no killing any members of the group. We need all of us for defeating the ghost and saving Miruku. It's late, so we should go to bed." Everyone agreeed, and walked to thier tents, saying good night as they went. Ni-Kaabi waddles up to Escargoon, "HEY!!! Snail guy? can you read me a bedtime story?" Escargoon really didn't want to, but the look King Dedede gave him told him he had no choice. So he followed Ni-Kaabi to his tent thinking, "Oh great. He's probably gonna ask me to read 'Pat the Bunny' or something." However, when he got to the tent, Ni-Kaabi picked up the book "The Shining" by Stephen King. So Escargoon began to read the book. Why he read this book to a 4-year-old chick, King Dedede would never be able to figure out, but he got up to the part where Jack goes nuts when King Dedede walked in and said, "Okay, son. Time for bed, you've been up for HOURS past your bed time." "Okay, Dad." said Ni-Kaabi. He put his head down and went right to sleep.
***
King Dedede was walking down the hall, holding an axe, and saying, "Ni- Kaabi....... come take your medicine.... Ni-Kaabi hid under the kitchen counter, trembling. The door bursts open. "COME TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, YOU LITTLE PUP!!! he said, and raised the axe. He swung it down and-
***
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHH!!!!" Ni-Kaabi woke up screaming. He started to cry as everyone came in. King Dedede shook him. "Ni-Kaabi!! What's wrong? Are you hurt?!" Ni- Kaabi quit crying. "I dreamed you went nuts and tried to kill me!" then he started crying again. "Maybe he needs some Ny-Quil." said Escargoon. "Maybe you need to get off my butt." said King Dedede. Ni-Kaabi stopped crying. "That's okay, Dad, let him sit on it and rotate." "NI-KAABI!!!!" screamed King Dedede, "WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TALK LIKE THAT?!?!?!" "It was the book that Mr. Escargoon read me." said Ni-Kaabi. "What book? said King Dedede. "It's "The Shining" said Kirby, "I distinctly remember that line." King Dedede looked at Escargoon with a look usually reserved for someone who has just hurt your child. "He brought it to me, and I just couldn't resist that cute little face!!!!" Escargoon yelled quickly. King Dedede stopped. "You ARE right." he said, "He IS a cute little sh*t." "You say that because he looks like you." said Tiff. King Dedede raised his hammer over her head. "But he IS really cute." added Tiff. Metaknight walked in, "Okay, everyone, back to bed! We've got a long way to go tomorrow.
***
The next morning, Everyone ate thier breakfast and continued the walk. King Dedede got tired of walking, so they stopped. He lies on the ground. "Hey, Ni-Kaabi! Watch this!" said King Dedede. King Dedede began to wave his arms and legs, and made a snow angel. Everyone started to laugh. "What's so funny?!" King Dedede says. "It's a fat snow angel wearing a miniskirt!!!" said Tuff. King Dedede punched him into a tree, then picked up a waterbottle and began to drink.....then said "Uh-oh" What is it? said Hoshi. King Dedede couldn't tell her, so he took his hand off the bottle to show her. The bottle was stuck to his beak, so naturally, everyone busted out laughing again. King Dedede got mad and attempted to rip the bottle off his face. He only suceeded in pulling so hard on his head that he fell down, and everyone laughed harder. Finally, Escargoon came to his rescue with some hot water to melt the ice. By then, Everyone was red in the face from laughing so hard. After that, King Dedede forced himself to keep walking. suddenly, they heard someone approaching.......
End of chapter 13
Our Five heroes continued the long trek through the forest to find Miruku and the ghost.It was still cold, and everyone was freezing their butts off. The boredom was so thick, that if you tried to cut it with a knife, the blade would bounce off, stab you in the chest, and kill you instantly. Suddenly, King Dedede calls out, "OKAY!!! THIS CHAPTER IS AS BORING AS HECK, SO I'M DECLARING A JOKE-OFF!!!" And the jokes were on. Here was Kirby's joke,
Q: What does it mean when your little brother is gasping and calling your mom's name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Tiff:
Yo mama's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishin'
Tuff:
Q: What did the dedede say when he saw a box of cheerios?
A: "Cool! Doughnut seeds!"
(A/N: King Dedede and Hoshi socked him for that.)
Ni-Kaabi:
A man had a problem. Every night he farted in his sleep. So his wife tells him, "If you don't stop, you're gonna fart your guts out." She was a butcher, so she put pig scraps in his pants while he was sleeping that night. The next morning when they woke up he was in the bathroom for two hours. Finally he comes out and says, "Honey, you were right about me farting my guts out." Then he holds up two fingers and says, "BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS, I GOT 'EM BACK IN."
Hoshi:
Q: What is the hard part of eating vegetables?
A: Getting around the wheelchair.
Escargoon:
Q: What is the theme song for beginning doctors?
A:Oops I did it Again
King Dedede:
Q: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX?
A: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
(A/N: King Dedede's joke was so dirty, that if I told it, it would blow up my computer.)
Everyone voted for Ni-Kaabi, except King Dedede and Escargoon, who both voted for King Dedede. Suddenly, they heard someone coming. "Metaknight Approachith!" Called Hoshi. Metaknight stops in front of them, gasping for breath, "Came....... As....... Quick....... as....... I....... could......" "Spit it out." said Kirby. Metaknight took a deep breath, "The reason the snow fell on us so suddenly is because the Ice Dragon's Brother, the Snow Dragon, is on the loose and he's after you." "Um.... Technically, isn't the Ice Dragon the same as the Snow Dragon?" said Kirby. "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!?!?!? THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!" Everyone stared at Metaknight. "You need to be prepared for this fight. First, you must gather some toilet paper." Escargoon looked scared. "We've got that!" said Tuff. "Next, You need matches." "Got those!" Said King Dedede, holding up a book of matches labeled 'arson'. He sees the label and pulls it off, blushing. "Now stand on one leg and cluck like a chicken." "BRAWK BRAWK BRAWK!!" "Wait!! I bet that was NOT on the list of top priorities!!!" said Ni-Kaabi. "No, but it's been on my list of top priorities for years now. But now, we must travel to the Snow Dragon!
***
Our heroes walked on through the snow. There was not much going on, and everyone was really bored. as they settled dowqn to camp that night, King Dedede thought of something, "Hey, has anyone heard, Stink-Foot, by Frank Zappa? "No, Sing It!" So he began:
~In the dark~ ~Where all the fevers grow~ ~Under the water~ ~Where the shark bubbles blow~ ~In the morning~ ~By yer Radio~ ~Do the walls close in t'suffocate ya~ ~You ain't got no friends, and all the others they hate ya~ ~Does the life you've been livin' gotta go, hmmmm?~ ~Well let me straighten you out~ ~About a place I know~ ~(Get yer shoes 'n' socks on people, it's right around the corner)~ ~Out through the night an' the whispering breezes to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases~ ~Out through the night an' the whispering breezes to the place where they keep the imaginary diseases~ (Spoken) This has to be the disease for you. Scientists call this disease bromidrosis, but us regular folk, who might wear tennis shoes or the occaisonal python boot know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of STINK-FOOT (Sung) ~Y'know my python boot is too tight~ ~I couldn't get it off last night~ ~A week went by~ ~An' now it's July~ ~ I finally got it off, an' my girlfriend cried, "You got stink-foot"~ ~Stink-foot darlin~ ~Your stink-foot puts a hurt on my nose~ ~Stink-foot, stink-foot I ain't lyin'. can ya rinse it off do you suppose?~ (Spoken) Here, Fido...Fido... C'mere little puppy... bring the slippers. "Arf arf arf (Right here the sound of breaking glass plays.) Heh heh heh... Sick. (A/N: Right Here, there is a long instrumental, so let's just say King Dedede hummed this part.) ~Well then Fido got up off the floor an' he rolled over and he looked me straight in the eye.~ ~An' you know what he said?~ ~Once upon a time~ ~Somebody say to me~ ~(This is a dog talkin' now)~ ~What is your conceptual continuity?~ ~Well I told him right there, Fido said~ ~It should be easy to see~ ~The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe~ ~Well the man who was talkin' to the dog looked at the dog an' he said, sort of staring in disbelief~ ~"You can't say that"~ ~He said~ ~It doesn't. And you can't. I won't. An' it don't. It hasn't. It Isn't. It even Ain't. An' it shouldn't. It couldn't~ ~He told me no no no~ ~I told him yes yes yes~ ~I said I do it all the time~ ~Ain't this boogie a mess~ ~The poodle bi-i-i-ites, The poodle chews it~ ~The poodle bi-i-i-ites, The poodle chews it.~
Everyone clapped and cheered. Then Metaknight looks around and says, "I think we can stop to camp here. It looks pretty safe to me. They all began to sit down around the campfire to eat, drink, and play truth or dare, except for metaknight who once had a bad experience with this game involving monkeys. "King Dedede, truth or dare? says Kirby. "Truth." Said King Dedede. "What was the grossest thing that ever happened to you?" "Well, it went like this......" Said King Dedede....
*Flashback*
King Dedede is trying to feed a baby monster that he attempted to keep as a pet. it appears to be a red baby dragon. she is trying to take the bottle from him.
King Dedede: That's it little dragon. Eat th-
(Suddenly, the baby dragon pukes all over him. Unfortunately for King Dedede, The dragon was a fire dragon, and her barf was like boiling chili.)
King Dedede HOLY FREAKIN SH*T!!!! I'M BEIN' FRIED IN DRAGON VOMIT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!
(He continues to run around sceaming with the dragon watching.)
*End of flashback*
Kirby was laughing really hard by the end of the story. "Ha ha ha! How funny! you almost got pukefried!" King Dedede rolled his eyes, "Hoshi, Truth or dare?" "Dare." she said, grinning evily. King Dedede looks straight at Kirby and gives him that same evil grin. "I dare you to give Kirby a big kiss right here. Hoshi leans over. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Kirby tried to run, but King Dedede was holding him down. Hoshi puckered up, with everyone watching the scene in front of them. Hoshi lunged forward and planted a big, honkin' smooch on Kirby's mouth. She drew back. "How was it? said Ni-Kaabi. Kirby was thinking, "Mmmmmmmmm..... that was kinda nice." But he said, "It was just nasty." Hoshi slapped him and said, "Ni-Kaabi, truth or dare?" "Truth" He said. "What is your favorite TV show? Ni-Kaabi hesitated. "Um....... Powerpuff Girls?" All was silent for about 10 seconds. Then the whole clearing, even Ni-Kaabi, exploded into laughter. After everyone was done laughing themselves to quivering mounds of limp muscle, Ni-Kaabi said, "Okay, *Hee hee* Tuff, truth or dare? "Truth!" "Okay, um.... what was your most embarrassing moment?" "Well....... said Tuff...........
*Flashback*
Tuff is in the kitchen making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He spreads on some peanut butter, and some wierd-looking jelly. He takes a bite.
Tuff: Mom, this sandwich tastes like sh*t.
Lady Like: Watch your mouth, Tuff! And it tastes funny because that's petroleum jelly, not the kind you eat.
(The scene closes with Tuff getting a look and running to the bathroom.)
Everyone was laughing by the end of the story. Tuff turned beet red and hung his head. He said, Truth or dare, Tiff? Tiff thought for a moment and said, "Dare." "I dare you to put a rat down your clothes. I've got the rat right here." Tiff hesitated, then grabbed the rat and stuffed it down the back of her clothes, screaming bloody murder. By the time she got the rat out, she was white from fear. E-E-Escargoon? T-T-Truth or dare? "Truth." said Escargoon. "Okay, Um, What was the stupidest you ever did?" Well............ Escargoon started his story......
*Flashback*
Escargoon is trying to cut a little off his mustache......... with a pair of hedge clippers.
Escargoon: Okay, let's see.........
(He accidentally cuts off one side of his mustache.)
Escargoon: D*MM*T!!! Well, now I have to cut off the other side........
(He cuts his face.)
Escargoon: OW, SH*T!!!
(When he jerks the scissors, he accidentally cuts off his beard, and in the process, he cuts his other hand REALLY deeply.)
Escargoon: SON OF A B*TCH!!!! Um....... King Dedede? I think I need to go to the hospital...
(Cut to: KIng Dedede sewing up Escargoon;s hand by himself......... without anything to numb it so Escargoon is tied to a chair and gagged so he can't move or scream.)
Escargoon: MMMMMMMMMPH!!! MMMMMM-MM-MMMMMMMMMMMMMPH!!!!
King Dedede: Oh shut up. This was your fault.
Escargoon: Mmm mmm mmph.
King Dedede: Yes It was.
Escargoon: Mmm mm-mph mm mm mmmph.
King Dedede: HEY!!! Leave my mama outta this, or I'll cut your other hand!!!
*End of flashback*
Once again, Everyone had a good laugh over that before Escargoon said, "Okay, Kirby, Truth or dare?" "Dare!" he said. " I dare you to........ eat a raw piece of meat." "Where are we gonna get the meat?" said Kirby. "I have a piece of raw pork in my bag." Escargoon pulls it out of his backpack. The meat was green and rotten. "Hey!" said Kirby, "You said raw, not rotten!" "Well it's the best I could do." Said Escargoon, sticking his tongue out at Kirby. Kirby picked up the rotten pork. It smelled like the bathrooms at the park after the big chili festival. He looked at it........... looked at it........... and popped it in his mouth and swallowed. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!" everyone in the clearing turned their heads and shut their eyes. "Yuck!" said King Dedede, "I can't believe you actually did it!!! That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen since Friday the 13th part 3!" Kirby looked up, "If I get sick. you're dead." "Hey, let's play 'I Never'!!!" said Ni-Kaabi. Everybody agreed. "I'll start." Said Ni-Kaabi, getting out a bottle of water. "I Never got drunk and spent all night talking to a water heater." Everyone except King Dedede took a drink. (A/N: In this game, If you agree with the statement, you take a drink.) King Dedede looked really embarrassed, took the bottle, and said, "I Never kissed an animal." Everyone except Hoshi took a drink. "What animal was it?" said Tiff. "It was a frog." said Hoshi. "I kissed him and he turned into Ni-Kaabi. But he was too young for me, so I kissed him again and I turned him back into a frog." "When did this happen?" said Tuff. "Just 5 minutes ago." said Hoshi. No one was sure if this was true or not. Hoshi picked up the bottle. "I've Never been pushed down a hill in a porta-potty. Everyone except Tuff and Metaknight took a drink. Tuff took the bottle next, "I Never thought lyme disease was a disease in limes." Everyone but Escargoon took a drink. He took the bottle and says, "I Never got food poisoning." Everyone but Kirby and King Dedede took a drink. "Kirby?" said Tiff, "When did you have it, cuz I REMEMBER when King Dedede had it." Kirby turned green. "Right now..." He ran to the bushes, where they heard him barfing. Since Kirby couldn't take the bottle, Metaknight did. "I never flashed an obscene hand gesture at a cop." Ni-Kaabi was the only person who didn't take a drink. He took the bottle. "I Never Kissed a member of the same sex." Only Tiff didn't take a drink. Everyone turned to look at her, so she yelled, "IT WAS ON A DARE!!!" At that moment, Kirby came from the bushes. "I'm sorry, Escargoon, but I must kill you now. He lunged at escargoon, who ran away like mad. Metaknight shot Kirby with a water gun. "OK, Kirby, no killing any members of the group. We need all of us for defeating the ghost and saving Miruku. It's late, so we should go to bed." Everyone agreeed, and walked to thier tents, saying good night as they went. Ni-Kaabi waddles up to Escargoon, "HEY!!! Snail guy? can you read me a bedtime story?" Escargoon really didn't want to, but the look King Dedede gave him told him he had no choice. So he followed Ni-Kaabi to his tent thinking, "Oh great. He's probably gonna ask me to read 'Pat the Bunny' or something." However, when he got to the tent, Ni-Kaabi picked up the book "The Shining" by Stephen King. So Escargoon began to read the book. Why he read this book to a 4-year-old chick, King Dedede would never be able to figure out, but he got up to the part where Jack goes nuts when King Dedede walked in and said, "Okay, son. Time for bed, you've been up for HOURS past your bed time." "Okay, Dad." said Ni-Kaabi. He put his head down and went right to sleep.
***
King Dedede was walking down the hall, holding an axe, and saying, "Ni- Kaabi....... come take your medicine.... Ni-Kaabi hid under the kitchen counter, trembling. The door bursts open. "COME TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, YOU LITTLE PUP!!! he said, and raised the axe. He swung it down and-
***
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHH!!!!" Ni-Kaabi woke up screaming. He started to cry as everyone came in. King Dedede shook him. "Ni-Kaabi!! What's wrong? Are you hurt?!" Ni- Kaabi quit crying. "I dreamed you went nuts and tried to kill me!" then he started crying again. "Maybe he needs some Ny-Quil." said Escargoon. "Maybe you need to get off my butt." said King Dedede. Ni-Kaabi stopped crying. "That's okay, Dad, let him sit on it and rotate." "NI-KAABI!!!!" screamed King Dedede, "WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO TALK LIKE THAT?!?!?!" "It was the book that Mr. Escargoon read me." said Ni-Kaabi. "What book? said King Dedede. "It's "The Shining" said Kirby, "I distinctly remember that line." King Dedede looked at Escargoon with a look usually reserved for someone who has just hurt your child. "He brought it to me, and I just couldn't resist that cute little face!!!!" Escargoon yelled quickly. King Dedede stopped. "You ARE right." he said, "He IS a cute little sh*t." "You say that because he looks like you." said Tiff. King Dedede raised his hammer over her head. "But he IS really cute." added Tiff. Metaknight walked in, "Okay, everyone, back to bed! We've got a long way to go tomorrow.
***
The next morning, Everyone ate thier breakfast and continued the walk. King Dedede got tired of walking, so they stopped. He lies on the ground. "Hey, Ni-Kaabi! Watch this!" said King Dedede. King Dedede began to wave his arms and legs, and made a snow angel. Everyone started to laugh. "What's so funny?!" King Dedede says. "It's a fat snow angel wearing a miniskirt!!!" said Tuff. King Dedede punched him into a tree, then picked up a waterbottle and began to drink.....then said "Uh-oh" What is it? said Hoshi. King Dedede couldn't tell her, so he took his hand off the bottle to show her. The bottle was stuck to his beak, so naturally, everyone busted out laughing again. King Dedede got mad and attempted to rip the bottle off his face. He only suceeded in pulling so hard on his head that he fell down, and everyone laughed harder. Finally, Escargoon came to his rescue with some hot water to melt the ice. By then, Everyone was red in the face from laughing so hard. After that, King Dedede forced himself to keep walking. suddenly, they heard someone approaching.......
End of chapter 13
