Silent Therapy

* * * * *

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 94
Dear Diary,

I didn't write anything yesterday.
For the first time.
I spent the day aimlessly staring at the ceiling, lost in my reverie.
I don't know why.

It was the cat that brought me out of it.
She needed to be fed.
I obliged.
Somehow, the world seems brighter today.
In retrospect, my melancholy was...
Pointless?
Unfounded?
Necessary?
All of the above.

I thought about you, Mireille.
One idea seamlessly flowing into another.
The day disappeared.
Lost to daydreams and fleeting glimpses of shared history.
A whole day gone.
Wasted?
I wouldn't say that.

There's something about contemplation.
Such a bittersweet pastime.
So easy to dwell on the past.
So easy to dream about the future.
In that one day, I must have dreamed a thousand scenarios.
Constant replays of what I should have said or should have done.

I won't know what to do when you come back.
I keep hoping it will be simple.
I keep hoping it will be easy.
I keep hoping you won't hate me.
But despite it all, I can't wait.
I want you to return.
But why would you come back?
What reason would you have?

What is there here for you?
Home?
I would hardly call your wrecked apartment home.
Work?
I doubt you still work, or even want to.
Family? (I'm sorry)
I don't know of any.
Friends?
Me?
Do you think of me, Mireille?
Have you thought of me all this time?
Are you looking for me, afraid that I never came back?
I wish I could know.
Do you miss me, Mireille?

I know I shouldn't think so much of myself.
I ask myself why you would even care about me.
But...
I think you always have.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirika looked up from her writing in time to see the moon rise from behind a nearby building. She reached out and pet her small cat. The animal rubbed against her palm, enjoying the contact. She stroked the soft fur, taking pure delight in the satisfied mewlings.

"I never named you." Kirika observed, as she brushed a hand through her own unkempt hair.

The cat looked at her quizzically, its piercing green eyes captivating hers.

"I can't just call you 'Cat' forever."

Tensing quickly, the cat leapt from the table into her lap. Kirika didn't mind. She continued to play with it. The feline stretched, playfully slapping at Kirika's hands with her paws.

It was an image that recalled memories of a time past. Mireille would have thought so. Kirika on the other hand, was too caught up in the moment. The cat reared up, trying to reach the girl's face. Kirika distracted it by presenting a treat she had hidden in her pocket. The cat gobbled it quickly, having already considered this game worthwhile. Nonetheless, it continued to climb up Kirika's arm, swatting at her dark hair.

Kirika grabbed the cat suddenly, lifting it off her and pressing its nose into her own. The cat mewled, still trying to touch the girl. Kirika cuddled the animal against her face, relishing the warm touch. The cat squirmed pleasantly, delighted that this girl loved her so much.

After a few minutes, Kirika put the cat back on the table, treating it to another snack. Then, for the first time in a long time, she smiled.

* * * * *