A/N: for those who don't know, Barad-dûr is the castle thing in Mordor……

4:02 AM:

YAY!!!!!  Arwen's here!!!!!!  Teehee, she looks like a dog!!!! :)! 

4:33 AM:

Oops, sorry, got a bit carried away then!  I was just SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to see Arwen and-wait a second…………………………

4:34 AM:

Oh my god!!!!! IT WASN'T ARWEN!!! IT WAS A TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:35 AM:

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!  I have a splinter in my tongue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:36 AM:

I like cheese.  Moo mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

4:37 AM:

I wish Arwen was here.  She's so pretty.  She'd give me cheese.  With lots of chocolate sprinkles and tomato sauce on top.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………….

4:38 AM:

Oh my god, what's that horrible sound?!

4:38 and a quarter AM:

MY EARS!!!!!!!!!!!  MY BEAUTIFUL EARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:38 and a half AM:

THE HORRIBLE NOISE IS COMING CLOSER!!!!!!!

4:38 and ¾ AM:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:38 and 5/8 AM:

Must.  Kill.  Horrible.  Noise.

4:39 AM:

Getting.  Closer.

4:40 AM:

Sword.

4:41 AM:

Noisemaker is………………….

4:42 AM:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!  It's Sam!!!!!! AND HE'S SINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:43 AM:

YAY!!!!  He shut up!!!!!

4:44 AM:

Well after I kicked him over the hill

4:45 AM:

YAY!!!!!  I found the others!!!!!!  I'm so happy I think I'm gonna hug them!

4:46 AM:

On second thoughts, no.  Legolas is STILL covered in bird poo.

4:47 AM:

Frodo just said we have to go find Sam.

4:49 AM:

Now we have to go climb over the stupid big hill just to go find stupid Sam.  Honestly, I don't understand how his name could be Samwise.  I mean, he's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not wise.  He's very fat and gay and stupid.  He should be called Samfatandgayandstupid.

4:50 AM:

Still looking for Samfatandgayandstupid

4:51 AM:

Stupid hill is too big

4:52 AM:

Ok now on top of the hill.  Finally!

4:53 AM:

Waiting for everyone else to get to the top of the hill.  They are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO slow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:54 AM:

Still waiting

4:55 AM:

Still waiting

4:56 AM:

Still waiting.  Hey isn't that a song?

4:57 AM:

I think I'm going to make up a song Arwen.  Coz I love her so much.

                  She's Arwen the pretty elf

                  She lives in Rivendell

                  I love her so much she's so good

                  In bed

                  And she brings me

                  CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!!

Hey wait a second, what's that stuck in my hair?

4:58 AM:

CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WITH LOTS OF CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND TOMATO SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:00 AM:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………… That was soooooooooooooooo yummy!

5:01 AM:

The others are FINALLY here.  Now we can look for Samfatandgayandstupid

5:02 AM:

Frodo found him.  Teehee!  "Frodo" sounds like "log".

5:03 AM:

Sam's lying on a pile of rubble.  I winder where that came from?

5:04 AM:

Wait a second……….that rubble looks familiar…………….

5:07 AM:

Oh my god it's Bard-dûr!!!!!!!!  Samfatandgayandstupid is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly fat that when I kicked him, he landed on Barad-dûr and squished it!!!!!!!!!!!!!