Chapter 14: What is this, a soap opera?!

I don't own Fanfiction.net, DBZ, Kirby, The Shining, Chris Farley's underwear, Dos Equis

I do own Hoshi, Ni-Kaabi and Miruku, so you can use them in your stories. just give me credit.

Our heroes heard someone approaching them. They all held their breath in wait. the tension was as thick as the cloud of stench that billows from Chris Farley's underwear. It crashed through the bush with tremendous speed, It was......... Gokou from Dragonball Z. "'Scuse me" he said, "I'm looking for the Dragonball Z section of fanfiction.net." "It's in the Anime section." said Tuff, pointing the way."Thanks" said Gokou, and off he went. They continued on their respective journey to the Snow Dragon. they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked...

5 HOURS LATER...

and walked and walked and walked and walked and- Suddenly, All of the gang, plus everyone reading my story, plus the democratic party, all yell, "WE GET THE IDEA!!!" Finally, Metaknight says, "It's time we settled down for the night. It's starting to get dark, and the coyotes will be out soon to dance in the middle of our heads and-" "Guess who's been hitting the Dos Equis a little too hard." said Tiff. Metaknight blushed. They set up camp to bed down for the night. within minutes, they were all seated around a crackling campfire, cooking marshmallows, weenies, fish, and anything else that would go on a stick. As they ate, they learned two things: #1: Kirby thinks eating marshmallows is inhumane, #2: King Dedede loves eating s'mores with fish, and #3: Ni-Kaabi can eat MUCH more that his father can. Hoshi suddenly turns to Kirby, "Kirby, can I see you behind the tents?" Kirby nervously followed Hoshi behind the tents "Oh, crap." he thought, "She's probably gonna ask about her candy bar." Hoshi stopped in front of Kirby and said, "Kirby, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I think you're a........ cute........ charming........... funny......... sexy little sh*t..........." Kirby wanted to know what was going on. "What's going on?" he said, stealing my narration. "Don't you get it?" said Hoshi "I'm hittin' on you. In other words....." She sings that line from that Lil Romeo song, "LET ME BE YOUR.......... GIRLFRIEND!" Kirby didn't know what to think. He had just noticed how pretty Hoshi was, even if she was insane. And she was sexy......... in a crazy, immature kind of way. Kirby finally got his voice out. He sounded like a boy going through puberty, "THis DOEsn't inVOLVE Any...yOU know DOES it?" Hoshi laughed REALLY loud, "No, no. I wanna get to know you first. Then after we're married, we'll go with it if you want to."

***

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Escargoon got an idea. "Hey! just for fun, let's ask Hoshi to sing! We'll see how off key she is. Just then, Hoshi and Kirby came into the clearing. "Hey, Hoshi! sing for us!!!" said Escargoon. "Okay! said Hoshi. She began to sing................. in the most BEAUTIFUL voice they'd ever heard.

~Now that she's back in the atmospere with drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey~ ~She acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey~ ~But tell me, did you sail across the sun?~ ~Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded~ ~And that heaven is overrated~ ~Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star~ ~One without a permanent scar,~ ~And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?~ ~Now that she's back from that soul vacation~ ~Tracin' her way throught the constellation hey, hey~ ~She checks out mozart while she does Tae Bo~ ~Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, hey~ ~But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet~ ~Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day~ ~And tell me, did you fall from a shooting star~ ~One without a permanent scar~ ~And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?~ ~Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken~ ~Your best friend always stickin' up for you~ ~Even when I know you're wrong~ ~Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, 5 hour phone conversation~ ~The best soy latte that you ever had... and me.~ ~But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet~ ~Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day~ ~And tell me, did you fall from a shooting star~ ~One without a permanent scar~ ~And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?~ ~But tell me, did you sail across the sun?~ ~Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded~ ~And that heaven is overrated~ ~Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star~ ~One without a permanent scar,~ ~And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?~

Everyone was absolutely stunned. They didn't think Hoshi, with her high, chirpy voice and western accent would sing very well. Kirby was the most dumbstruck. Standing there in the moonlight, her pink feathers shining, and her purple eyes looking down on him, she was SO beautiful. She was even prettier than when you catch you brother in your stuff and you beat the ever livin' snot out of him. Heck, had he been presented with a sexy naked model and Hoshi, he would have chosen her. At that moment, he realized he had the BIGGEST crush on her. Moreso than earlier. "Hello? Kirby?" King Dedede waved his hand in front of Kirby's face. "Are you home? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Kirby looked right at King Dedede. "I'm SO in love....." he said. "OOOOOOOOOOH! KIRBY AND HOSHI SITTIN' IN A TREE F-U-" "Um, King Dedede? This fic is PG-13 rated. let's keep it that way." said Metaknight. "Sorry. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE! THEN COMES MARRIAGE! THEN COMES A BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE! THAT'S NOT ALL! TH- *POW!!!* ouch.+_+" Hoshi stood there with King Dedede's hammer. "Gee." she said, "You look pretty hammered." "I take it you have no respect for the dead." said King Dedede. Ni-Kaabi glares at Hoshi. "You hurt my dad!" he said. and with that he..... um..... flipped Hoshi the birdie. "NI-KAABI!!!" everyone yelled. "Where's he learning this stuff?" said Escargoon. Everyone looked at King Dedede. "I DIDN'T TEACH HIM THAT!!!" said King Dedede, "HE PROBABLY LEARNED THEM FROM MIRUKU!!!" "Actually" said Ni-Kaabi, "I learned them from a book in Kirby's backpack." (A/N: To understand this, see chapter 11: the Computer Holy Wars.) "Ohhhhhhh, sh*t. said Kirby. King Dedede held out his hand. "Give me the book, Kirby." "NO!!!" said Kirby. "Then I'll hafta beat the crap out of you over it." With that, he beat the book out of Kirby's hands (Paws?) with his hammer. D*mn you, King Dedede. said Kirby. King Dedede hit him over the head with a frog, "DO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF MY SON!!!" "Okay, okay, sorry...." said Kirby, "Don't go all John Macenrow on me." "Hey, where's Tuff? Suddenly, Tiff hears someone in her tent. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" she let out a war cry, charged into her tent and kicked the offender in the nuts. Everyone heard Tuff yell, "YEEEEEEEEOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" "Uh......... whoops. Sorry, Tuff. But what were you doing in my tent?" "I..... was....... looking........ for........some........ toilet- paper............." Escargoon looked scared. "Time to turn in." said Metaknight. "Tomorrow we must go through............... THE HOUSE OF FEAR (bum bum bum.)" So they all bid each other good night and went off to bed.

***

Our heroes approached the old house. Metaknight led them inside. "Now stay together" he said, "If you are separated, you will fall victim to your worst fears." "Where's Escargoon? said Ni-Kaabi. "D*mn." said Metaknight.

***

Meanwhile, Escargoon was walking (???) through the hall. "What the heck?" there was a room at the end of the hall. He turned into it and saw that it was a room full of octoroks in tanks. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed like he was being murdered.

***

"That scream! I think something terrible happened to Escargoon!!!" said King Dedede. Everyone dashed down the hall towards the scream, found the door, and tried to force it open. "It's stuck, what'll we do?!" said King Dedede.

End of chapter 14