Angel Boy
Chapter 2/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 2: Sweet Oblivion
I would never look at them the same again. My parents. Liars. How could they keep that secret from me? A twin. Not just a brother. A twin. Like Sam and David. They see me with the twins, holding them, playing with them, fascinated by them. How could they keep this a secret? Why didn't they tell me?
That's what upsets me most. Why didn't they tell me? How could they justify not telling me? How could they live with themselves, knowing what they knew? Knowing where my emptiness came from?
I stared at the glass of whiskey in front of me. Tipped it from side to side, watching the amber liquid swish around the inside the glass. My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing, what I was thinking.
I could drink it. The buzz would hit me, and I wouldn't think about Mom's journal or my dead twin brother anymore.
Or I could toss it down the sink. There would be no sweet oblivion, as Connor called it when he gave me the bottle. No dulling of thought, no peacefulness.
I knew which I preferred and I kicked the glass back, drained it quickly. Happy raised her head, gave a little sigh. I rubbed her with my foot to settle her.
My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing. And I didn't care. Let them find me passed out drunk in the kitchen. No punishment could be worse than knowing what I know. My whole life was a lie.
I'll never be able to look at my parents the same again.
I wish I never had to see them ever again. Any of them. My parents, Matt, Mary, Lucy, Ruthie, and especially the twins. I wondered if Matt and Mary and Lucy knew about my twin. They were old enough then to remember something so significant. Had they lied too, all these years?
I will never forgive them if they have.
Connor promised sweet oblivion in the whiskey. Instead my thoughts seemed sharper, more aware. I wondered if he would have been Joshua, or Josh. Probably Josh. And he would have been popular, one of the cool kids at school. Like Connor.
Connor never said anything about puking. Or blurry vision, or feeling dizzy when I tried to stand up, or the floor rushing up to meet me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My head hurt. Hurt so bad I wanted to die. Someone please, put a pillow over my face and let me die.
I didn't want to open my eyes. The room was spinning.
I must have moaned, because someone sat on the edge of the bed and I felt a hand on my forehead. "How do you feel?"
Kevin? I cracked one eye open. He was a blur, but definitely Kevin. "Dead."
"I'm sure." Kevin stood up. "How much did you drink?"
"Not enough."
I heard his feet move across the floor. "Lucy and I found you in the kitchen. You're lucky your mom decided to stop at the store on her way home. Lucy cleaned up the mess, so you owe her big time."
"Gee, thanks." I'm not sure why I was being so sarcastic. I know Lucy and Kevin only wanted to help and I should be grateful, not rude and unappreciative. I guess because I felt so miserable, I just wanted to curl up and die.
I knew Kevin wouldn't let that happen.
"Where am I?"
"My apartment. Lucy thought it would be best to bring you here. So your mother doesn't have to know what happened tonight."
I would have rolled my eyes if my head didn't hurt so bad.
"So come on. You stink. You need a shower."
"No."
"I'm not asking, Simon."
"And I didn't ask for your help, Kevin."
"Look, Simon. Lucy is worried about you. You gave her quite a scare. When we opened that door and you were laying on the floor like that, she thought you were dead."
"I wish I was." I said simply, and I meant it. A face very much like my own swam in front of my eyes. Josh would be so ashamed of me and what I have done tonight.
I sensed Kevin shake his head. I didn't dare look at him. "You don't mean that."
"How do you know?"
"Because...Because I just know." He sounded weak, like he could cry.
I sighed, tried not to think of Josh again. "You don't know anything, Kevin."
"I know you need a shower. So come on. I'll help you up. Then you can call your mom and tell her you're staying up here with me tonight."
I grit my teeth. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to take a shower. I certainly didn't want to call my mom. "Leave me alone, Kevin."
"It's too late for that, Simon." He pulled me to sitting up and caught me against his shoulder when my head fell forward. I took a deep breath, trying not to puke again, but I could feel the bile rising and I knew I couldn't keep it down.
Kevin didn't lose a beat. He lifted me off the bed and carried me to the bathroom. "Now you really need a shower."
I felt the hot sting of tears on my cheeks. So much for sweet oblivion.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter two. Please let me know what you think. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
Chapter 2/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 2: Sweet Oblivion
I would never look at them the same again. My parents. Liars. How could they keep that secret from me? A twin. Not just a brother. A twin. Like Sam and David. They see me with the twins, holding them, playing with them, fascinated by them. How could they keep this a secret? Why didn't they tell me?
That's what upsets me most. Why didn't they tell me? How could they justify not telling me? How could they live with themselves, knowing what they knew? Knowing where my emptiness came from?
I stared at the glass of whiskey in front of me. Tipped it from side to side, watching the amber liquid swish around the inside the glass. My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing, what I was thinking.
I could drink it. The buzz would hit me, and I wouldn't think about Mom's journal or my dead twin brother anymore.
Or I could toss it down the sink. There would be no sweet oblivion, as Connor called it when he gave me the bottle. No dulling of thought, no peacefulness.
I knew which I preferred and I kicked the glass back, drained it quickly. Happy raised her head, gave a little sigh. I rubbed her with my foot to settle her.
My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing. And I didn't care. Let them find me passed out drunk in the kitchen. No punishment could be worse than knowing what I know. My whole life was a lie.
I'll never be able to look at my parents the same again.
I wish I never had to see them ever again. Any of them. My parents, Matt, Mary, Lucy, Ruthie, and especially the twins. I wondered if Matt and Mary and Lucy knew about my twin. They were old enough then to remember something so significant. Had they lied too, all these years?
I will never forgive them if they have.
Connor promised sweet oblivion in the whiskey. Instead my thoughts seemed sharper, more aware. I wondered if he would have been Joshua, or Josh. Probably Josh. And he would have been popular, one of the cool kids at school. Like Connor.
Connor never said anything about puking. Or blurry vision, or feeling dizzy when I tried to stand up, or the floor rushing up to meet me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My head hurt. Hurt so bad I wanted to die. Someone please, put a pillow over my face and let me die.
I didn't want to open my eyes. The room was spinning.
I must have moaned, because someone sat on the edge of the bed and I felt a hand on my forehead. "How do you feel?"
Kevin? I cracked one eye open. He was a blur, but definitely Kevin. "Dead."
"I'm sure." Kevin stood up. "How much did you drink?"
"Not enough."
I heard his feet move across the floor. "Lucy and I found you in the kitchen. You're lucky your mom decided to stop at the store on her way home. Lucy cleaned up the mess, so you owe her big time."
"Gee, thanks." I'm not sure why I was being so sarcastic. I know Lucy and Kevin only wanted to help and I should be grateful, not rude and unappreciative. I guess because I felt so miserable, I just wanted to curl up and die.
I knew Kevin wouldn't let that happen.
"Where am I?"
"My apartment. Lucy thought it would be best to bring you here. So your mother doesn't have to know what happened tonight."
I would have rolled my eyes if my head didn't hurt so bad.
"So come on. You stink. You need a shower."
"No."
"I'm not asking, Simon."
"And I didn't ask for your help, Kevin."
"Look, Simon. Lucy is worried about you. You gave her quite a scare. When we opened that door and you were laying on the floor like that, she thought you were dead."
"I wish I was." I said simply, and I meant it. A face very much like my own swam in front of my eyes. Josh would be so ashamed of me and what I have done tonight.
I sensed Kevin shake his head. I didn't dare look at him. "You don't mean that."
"How do you know?"
"Because...Because I just know." He sounded weak, like he could cry.
I sighed, tried not to think of Josh again. "You don't know anything, Kevin."
"I know you need a shower. So come on. I'll help you up. Then you can call your mom and tell her you're staying up here with me tonight."
I grit my teeth. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to take a shower. I certainly didn't want to call my mom. "Leave me alone, Kevin."
"It's too late for that, Simon." He pulled me to sitting up and caught me against his shoulder when my head fell forward. I took a deep breath, trying not to puke again, but I could feel the bile rising and I knew I couldn't keep it down.
Kevin didn't lose a beat. He lifted me off the bed and carried me to the bathroom. "Now you really need a shower."
I felt the hot sting of tears on my cheeks. So much for sweet oblivion.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter two. Please let me know what you think. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
