Angel Boy
Chapter 6/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star


Chapter 6: Victoria's Story

I met Victoria the next day after therapy. I wanted to tell her I had thought about her all night, and I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about her, but I couldn't tell her that. Even if I was talking, I couldn't tell her something like that. Too personal. Too intimate.

As much as I wanted to think she was thinking about me too, it felt weird to think she really might have been up all night, unable to sleep because of me. We only met yesterday, and all we know is that each of us has been hurt. I don't even know what happened to her.

She smiled and reached for my hand. I could imagine her, walking, being the center of every party she ever went to. She just had a way about her, a calm, beautiful manner. The kind of personality that made people like her instantly.

"Good afternoon, Simon," She said softly. I felt a shooting stab of guilt because I couldn't answer her greeting. Of course I could, the doctors kept saying I had no physical reason for not talking. I simply chose not to use my voice.

I smiled and gave her a quick hand signal for 'hello'.

"Do you sign?" She asked.

I shook my head. I know the entire alphabet and a few simple signs I learned in a class somewhere along the way. I don't even remember what class. English, maybe, when we talked about the evolution of the English language.

"Good, I don't either."

I smiled, a pathetic attempt at laughing.

"Are you hungry? I'm starved. I thought we could go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat."

I nodded. I followed her lead because even though the hallways were wide and we could maneuver our wheel chairs side by side, the doorways tended to be narrower, and only one would fit through at a time. I did not want the responsibility of leading the way.

We took our plates of mystery meat and vegetables to a table toward the back corner. Victoria made enough comments about the uncertain origin of the food to cover both of us.

She took a bite and grimaced. Then she laughed. "It's really not so bad."

I'd just have to take her word for it. I should have gotten a salad, but the bar seemed a little too high from my seated position. I picked at the vegetables, a medley of peas and carrots.

"So," Victoria said after a long silence, and I was beginning to regret this little adventure. "I guess you're wondering what happened to me? I'm curious about you too, but none of the nurses will really tell me anything. Maybe we'll just have to find you a pen and paper so you can write it down for me."

I shrugged. What would I write? 'Found out I had a twin but he died when we were born, so I got drunk because my parents lied to me, then my sister and her boyfriend tried to help me and I rejected their help. I wanted to die and I ran away, but Lucy and Kevin followed me and then we were in an accident on the way home and Lucy and Kevin are both in a coma still' The explanation sounded pathetic even to my own ears. Self centered. Victoria would hate me after I told her that. I did this to myself, it's the least of what I deserve.

She stabbed a piece of meat with her fork and just looked at it. "This stuff is really gross." She flipped her hair over her shoulder by jerking her head, the way she did yesterday in the gym.

"I guess I was greedy," She said and for a moment I thought she meant lunch. Expecting the food in the hospital cafeteria to be edible could not in any way be considered greedy. She looked into my eyes, and her eyes had gone dark, like silver-grey storm clouds. I knew she didn't mean the food. She meant her accident. How she wound up here.

I wanted to look away, but couldn't. Those eyes held me in their spell.

She took a deep breath. She could take her time, she had to know I wouldn't interrupt her. "I was good enough to make the team, and everyone knew it. They joked about it. I didn't even have to try out, I'd get a spot on the team anyway."

I had no idea what she was talking about. What team? She didn't look very tall, so I ruled out basketball. Basketball. What other sports do girls play on their own teams? I couldn't think.

"Gymnastics," she said. She must have realized I was trying to figure it out. "I'm a gymnast. The Olympic Team tryouts. I knew, despite the jokes, I had to prove myself. Just like everyone else. I couldn't just assume I would get a spot, I had to earn it. And some of those girls are good. Really good. I didn't want to be an alternate."

I nodded. I could kind of relate. Like being in my family. It's so easy to get lost in the shuffle, to get over looked, no matter how good you are. Not quite the same thing, but similar concepts.

"I wanted to be the team. I wanted to be the girl who held the team together. I wanted to be the one the other girls looked up to."

I still didn't think that made her greedy. Motivated. Inspired. Not greedy.

"I wanted to show them I was the best. Better than anyone. My first routine was the balance beam. I could do it in my sleep. But the pressure was on. This was it, the final Olympic tryout. Everything had to be perfect. No room for mistakes. I hesitated after my first jump, and cursed myself for it. Unacceptable, I told myself. But I would make up for it with the next jump. I'd jump a little higher, make my turn a little fancier.

"I came down hard on the beam and my foot slipped. I could feel myself falling and I just thought, 'This is not happening. Oh God. This is not happening' but it was happening and I was on the ground and I couldn't move. I could hear the girls around me, screaming and some of them crying, and I knew I was in serious trouble.

"My coach pushed his way through the circle of girls around me and knelt beside my head. He said 'Lay still, Victoria. Don't try to move. It's all right. I'm here.' But I felt trapped. Trapped inside my own body. I couldn't move. And as I looked at Geoffrey, my vision started to blur.

"The next thing I knew, I was here. In the hospital."

I think I would have been too stunned to say anything if I was talking. I just looked at her, and the tears filling her eyes. Those eyes were pure silver now, the metallic color intensified with emotion and memory.

I felt like an idiot. My story paled compared to hers. An Olympic hopeful. She shouldn't be associating with me. I'm just a preacher's kid. A small town boy who tried to run away the second things get a little rough for him.

All the more reason to keep my mouth shut.

I hadn't seen Josh since before the accident with Kevin and Lucy, and I had given up on him. He wasn't real anyway, so why would I care to see him? He's just a projection of my imagination, a manifestation of wanting to see him so badly that my mind created his likeness.

And he was there. In the hospital cafeteria, with Victoria and me. I tried to ignore him, because Victoria would really turn from me if she knew I had an imaginary twin brother, even if he was based in reality.

"Stop being such a baby, Simon," Josh whispered, as if he didn't want Victoria or anyone else to hear. "Suck up, and tell her your story. Let her decide if she still wants to be your friend. That's her choice anyway, and you don't have the right to try to make it for her."

He had a point, and I realised he was making a point I already knew. I couldn't use my silence to manipulate Victoria. As much as I liked her, and she seemed to like me, I didn't want our friendship based on lies. She had told me her pain, and I owed her at least that much. I had to find a way to tell her about Josh and the accident and everything.

I glanced at the seat beside Victoria, where Josh had been. Empty. No Josh. I wasn't sure if I was glad for it, or frightened by it.

Victoria wiped her face with her napkin. The turn of her mouth told me she thought I would reject her after her story. Maybe she thought I thought she was a jerk for being so 'greedy' as she called it.

"Vic..." I started, and my voice sounded so scratchy and foreign to me. I coughed to try to clear my throat.

She shook her head. "Don't. Simon. Please. I didn't tell you this to get you to talk."

I shook my head too, though it was a weak gesture from my end. I tried again to say her name. Nothing more than a whisper came out.

"I just wanted you to know."

I nodded. I felt like such a fool. She must think I'm the idiot of the year. I *am* the idiot of the year. What was I thinking? Who was I trying to punish by not talking? My parents? Probably. In the end, right now, I wound up punishing myself because I couldn't talk to this beautiful, heartbroken girl sitting across from me.

"Please don't try to talk, Simon. Just knowing someone is listening to me helps."

"Sure, it helps, but it's not enough," Josh whispered. I looked for him, but couldn't see him. "She needs you as much as you need her, Simon," he added, his voice growing weaker. "Don't let her go because you're too stubborn to ask for help."

Josh was gone. I knew it, I felt it. He was gone. Once and for all. Gone.

I looked at Victoria with tears in my eyes. She saw them and her expression turned to one of concern. She wheeled her chair to my side of the table and took my hands in hers. "Simon, please don't cry. Don't cry for me."

I looked down and the first tears dripped from my eyes.

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End chapter 6. Please R/R and let me know what you think! Feedback means so much. Thank you to everyone who has sent reviews. I cherish each one. Thanks again! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)