Too Much Rain
by Trish
(trishlovesedison@hotmail.com)

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Hanadan belongs to Yoko Kamio. I forgot to mention that before (Trish is a
dummy). Also, in response to Clarebear's review: The passage was just saying
that Doumyouji doesn't have a plan, he only has the desired solution
("Tsukushi's gonna depend on meeee!"). But, as he is pondering what to do,
something's going on that'll eventually help him (the rain). Uh... if that's
confusing (why did I word it like that? -_-) just say so, and I'll try to
explain it better.

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THREE (unedited -_-;)
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"Mama!" Five year old Tsukushi wailed, running into the kitchen where her
mother was busy at work, "What's wrong with Papa? He's lying face down on
his futon." With fear making her voice tremble a bit, she asked, "He's not
dead, is he?"

Mama stopped chopping furiously at the vegetables on the cutting board, "Of
course not, Tsukushi-chan. He's an extremely difficult man to kill." Her
eyed narrowed a bit, "Unfortunately."

The little girl didn't notice the bitterness dripping in her mother's tone,
"Well, what's wrong with him then? Mama? Mama are you listening to me?" she
asked, tugging insistently at her mother's skirt.

"Not now, Tsukushi. I have to finish dinner. Why don't you go check on your
brother?"

Her nose wrinkled at the thought of it, "No way, Mama. Everytime I go near
that baby it starts to stink. I wanna play with Papa. Can't you wake him
up?"

No response. Only the sounds of the knife slicing through the greens and
thumping against the wood of the cutting board.

"Maaamaaa!" her voice came out as a longer whine.

"Tsukushi," the cutting stopped, and the woman looked at her daughter
seriously, "Maybe you're a little young for me to be telling you this...
Then again, you probably won't even remember... I really don't think you
should depend too much on your father."

The little girl was too stunned to reply at first. She plopped herself down
on the kitchen floor and rolled her mother's statement around in her head.
How could she not depend on her father? He made silly faces to get her to
stop crying, he taught her his winning, super, secret pachinko technique,
and he was far more lenient than her mother. Besides, she loved him and love
was about trusting someone enough to depend on them. Didn't her mom love her
dad?

"Mama. Are you and Papa fighting?"

Mama once again stopped what she was doing and gave her daughter a very sad,
tired look. She put down the knife and the food, and wiped her hands on her
apron. "Tsukushi," she kneeled down next to her on the floor, "You remember
how I told you that things were going to get easier soon?"

She nodded, "Yeah, 'cause Papa's gonna get a promotion."

"Well, your Papa didn't get a promotion. Something went wrong. He... messed
up," she said, struggling with her words. It was hard telling a child that
their father was a loser, "And maybe you don't know this, but your Papa's
been messing up a lot like that in his life. And it's not that I don't love
him. I wouldn't still be with him if it were like that. But I've come to
realize that you just can't rely on certain people. You have to learn to
take care of yourself. If you depend on people, they'll let you down. And
everything will get screwed up in your life."

"I... I don't understand." Tsukushi stuttered, not liking how her usually
wacky and vibrant mom had become so serious.

"I don't expect you to," Mama said with a sigh, "But just listen to me. In
this day and age, you have to be strong. You have to know how to stand on
your own two feet. Don't expect for someone else to take care of you,
because no one will. That's just the kind of world we live in. Your father's
not a bad guy. He loves us. But he's not willing to make the sacrifices
necessary for running a family. And maybe it's partly my fault. I should
have gotten a job too. I should have known that something like this would
happen."

Somewhere during her monologue, the little girl wondered if her mother was
really talking to her at all. It sounded a bit like she just wanted to talk
to someone. Anyone. Being a bit uncomfortable with the topic, however,
Tsukushi found herself fidgeting.

"... survival of the fittest," the speech was winding down to a close, "As
soon as you figure that out, you're one step closer to a more secure life.
Do you hear me, Tsukushi-chan?"

"Um," she bit her lip, then nodded vigorously. She'd missed the entire
second half of what had been said to her. The use of the unfamiliar name
'Darwin' had made her mind wander, "Okay, Mama. Can... Can I go play with
Susumu now?"

The woman looked suprised, "Huh? You said he was stinky."

"Oh, well I don't think he's all that bad," the little girl was already half
way out of the kitchen. 'I just wanna get out of here'.

# # #

Thunder struck.

Tsukushi's eyes popped open.

'What in the hell?'

The first thing she was aware of was a sharp pain spiraling down her back.
Then everything else came to her in small dosages.

She was in 'the dry corner' again, and she was alone. Susumu had spent the
night at a friend's house (different from last night). Outside, there was a
raging storm. It had to be three or four in the morning. There was still a
couple of hours until she had to get up for school.

Tsukushi tried to settle herself into a comfortable position so she could
fall back asleep. But a distant memory was lingering in her mind, and every
time she closed her eyes, something new (but not very helpful or revealing)
came up. The feeling of having to remember something nagged at her so much,
she found she couldn't get back to sleep.

'Something about... Mama? And Papa? But I can't figure out what it is...'

She leaned back against the wall, staring at the droplets of water falling
into the various pots and pans, not being able to let go of the fragments of
the dream she'd just had.

# # #

It hadn't rained the entire day. Tsukushi was thankful, but not wholly
optomistic. It still looked like it was GOING to rain. But she skipped her
calculus class anyway, opting instead to sit out on the emergency stairs.
She needed time to clear her head. Since she'd last seen him, Doumyouji had
become very quiet and detatched. Everyone noticed.

Tsukushi knew that it was her fault. She knew she hurt his feelings and
that was honestly the last thing she intended to do. She'd actually lied to
him about her true feelings for his sake. Was it her fault that he didn't
(for good reason) believe her?

When she thought about it, there was really NO ONE she could picture
spending her future with. It didn't have much to do with Doumyouji at all,
she supposed.

As she stepped out the double doors leading to the emergency staircase, she
was immediately greeted to the sight of the dark, gray sky. She hated that
sight. It could only mean more rain. She was looking forward to better
weather. The sooner the rain stopped, the less crap she would have to worry
about. Then she and Tsukasa could get back on course, and maybe there would
be no more of this "forever" business.

Her musings were interrupted by the loud clearing of a throat. Tsukushi's
eyes gladly dropped from the ugly sky, to the handsome boy underneath it.

"Hanazawa Rui," she said fondly, a smile coming across her face. Whenever he
was around, she felt a little less oppressed by her problems.

"Morning," he greeted, returning her smile. He was sitting with his back
against the balcony railing, looking very relaxed. It made her envy him.
"Take a seat," he said, patting a place next to him on the floor. "It's not
wet, so don't worry."

She moved closer, "Thanks," she replied, smoothing out her skirt and
settling herself down slowly. The second she touched the floor she let out a
yelp and jumped up in suprise.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his expression extremely amused.

"It's cold," she whined, rubbing the back of her legs, "And these skirts are
so tiny they barely cover anything."

Not bothering to hide his sly grin, he answered, "I noticed." She didn't say
anything to that, but a healthy blush creeped across her face. "Do you want
to borrow my sweater to sit on?" he offered, already starting to pull the
said item over his head.

She held up a hand in protest and shook her head, "No, but thanks. It's not
that bad." The truth of the matter was, she felt uncomfortable when someone
like Rui wanted to do nice things for her. He wasn't the type to randomally
do favors for another person. But she was a special case. He loved her. But
she didn't want him to waste all his kindness on her, a girl who couldn't
return his feelings. So instead of accepting the sweater, she beared the
coldness of the concrete floor. She'd been through much worse before.

For several moments they sat there in companionable silence. There weren't a
lot of people she could have 'companionable silence' with. But she decided
to speak up anyway.

"It's gonna rain," she commented (NOTE: Did anyone else have that song from
Kenshin pop up in their head just now? Lol!).

"Is it? Rui questioned, "I don't know that much about the weather."

Another silence. It was less comfortable. Tsukushi looked in Rui's
direction, suprised to find the quiet boy staring at her intently.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

A beat, then, "No," he broke the stare, then stretched his long legs out in
front of him, "I was wondering about something, though. You and Tsukasa...
Did something happen?"

She was sure her expression had become very troubled, because immediately he
looked sorry for asking.

"It's not really any of my business," he said, trying to sound like he
didn't care that much. "I just noticed that lately he's been looking a
little... vacant."

"It's nothing," she assured him, "It's just relationship stuff. We have to
work it out on our own, though." The last part, she thought sounded a little
bit cold, but she didn't want to get him mixed up in her dysfunctional
relationship. He'd taken a far too active role numerous times before, and it
always ended with her needing him. She hated needing people.

Rui wasn't put off by her tone, "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"
he pressed.

In her head she thought, 'Of course not. I can't tell you things about my
relationship with your best friend. There are some things, Hanazawa Rui,
that I can't tell even you.' But all she said was, "Yeah. I'm sure."

She tried to shift herself in a more comfortable sitting position, and in
the process bent her back in a most uncomfortable way. Waves of pain spread
down her spine. She tried not to make it look like a big deal, but Rui would
have to have been blind not to see the look of agony spread across her face.
He was at her side immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh," she blushed; tried to laugh nonchalantly. She was looking weak in
front of him. "It's nothing. I've been, uh, sleeping against the walls."

Rui blinked a couple of times, giving the comment ample time to process,
"Against the walls?" he echoed.

"That's right."

Seconds ticked by. Tsukushi waited for him to say something. He didn't fail
her expectations, as finally he responded, "What does it do?"

"Huh?" she looked a bit confused.

"What does it do?" he repeated himself, "Does it correct one's posture? Does
it make you taller?"

She couldn't explain why she got so annoyed, "I'm not doing it because I
want to!" All he did was laugh, muttering under his breath about how cute
she looked when she was irritated. "Don't laugh!" she snapped, "It's
terrible! There's this gigangic leak on my roof that drips water EVERYwhere!
I'm confined to sleeping upright in some stupid corner."

Rui's expression was blank and uncomprehending, "You're joking."

"Why would I joke about something like that!?"

"Leaks, huh?" he crossed his arms over his chest, looking deep in thought.
"So what's your plan?"

Her heart skipped a beat. She could feel her lips curl into a brilliant
smile. "How'd you know I had a plan?"

He shrugged, "It's a very 'Tsukushi' thing to do. I would be disappointed if
you didn't have a plan."

Something warm filled her. Rui understood. She wasn't just being stubborn
and pigheaded. She wasn't getting involved with something she couldn't
handle. Rui believed in her.

"Well, I'm saving up some money for a hotel room. It might be a long time
coming until I can actually afford to have everthing taken care of, but the
rain will stop. Maybe I can be prepared next time."

"Why don't you just fix it?" he asked, astounding her with his cluelessness.

"I can't just 'fix it'," she informed him, "It takes time and work. And it's
still raining."

"Oh?" This new knowledge didn't visibly affect him, it seemed. "How's your
brother holding up?"

"Oh, he's staying with his friends. House hopping everynight. It's kind of
embarrasing," she admitted, "I wish I could do more." At that statement,
Rui's features tightened, rather noticably. "Hanazawa Rui? What is it?"

"You..." and then he faultered, shaking his head, "No forget it."

She could only shrug her shoulders, saying, "Okay, whatever." She knew
better than to force Rui to speak when he didn't want to. "Oh geez, the
time," she noticed, catching sight of the face of her watch, "I have to get
to my next class. I'll see you later, Hanazawa Rui."

"See you," he answered in kind, giving a half-assed attempt at a wave.

There was a look on his face that made her want to prod him with questions.
He looked worried. That expression, she thought, didn't suit him at all. She
resolved to bother him about it later. She really had to get to class.

# # #

Doumyouji suprised her.

She didn't expect him to be standing next to the double doors of the
emergency exit, looking far from pleased. His eyes were shaded and he had a
scowl on his face. For the briefest of moments, she was absolutely
terrified. But she reminded herself that this was her boyfriend, someone she
knew would never hurt her if he could help it.

"What's with you, Tsukasa?" she teased, reaching a hand over to poke him in
the chest. She was shocked when he suddenly grabbed her by the wrist,
dragging her closer to him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having problems with your apartment?"

She could no longer ration away reasons for not being afraid. Doumyouji
always let his emotions control him. When he was like this, there was no
telling what he would do. And while part of her was afraid, another part was
indignant. Tsukushi always let the indignant side win out because fear was a
weakness. "Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?" she demanded,
wrenching her wrist free, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with YOU!?" he shot back, furiously, "Why is it that
whenever you're in trouble you always go to Rui? Ever since we first met.
You always trusted Rui more than me. Why are you even going out with me,
then?"

He had a point, she supposed. She'd unthinkingly confessed her woe-begotten
living situation to Rui, when she knew for a fact she'd do more than
hesitate to even hint to Doumyouji that such problems even existed. Even
though she was angry that he'd spied on her, he deserved some kind of
explanation. He didn't show it, but he was actually very self conscious when
it came to Rui. Especially in regards to her, considering that she'd loved
him first.

So she could have called him an idiot. She could have slapped him or kicked
him. She was pretty pissed, after all. But she knew that the entire love
triangle between the three of them ended with little closure for Doumyouji.
He'd started to chase after her all over again, content with just the
knowledge that she and Rui had not slept together. He hadn't asked her why
she'd 'cheated', whether or not she'd ever really liked him back then, the
number of times she and Rui had met secretly, what they'd done on their
date...

So, instead of reacting in the violent way anyone would have expected, she
said, in a very firm, even voice, "I'm with you because I love you. The
reason I tell Rui things like this is because..." she sighed, "It's because
he believes that I can take care of it on my own. I don't have to worry
about him sending people over to my house to fix my room without my
permission... Or to slip million yen notes in my book bag. I just want to be
able to tell someone my problems without them trying to solve them for me."

Doumyouji looked calmer. There were still traces of anger, but she knew the
next words out of his mouth wouldn't be screamed. "... Is it wrong that I
want to take care of you?" he asked, seriously.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. She didn't know how to answer that.

"Why don't you think about that for awhile?" he suggested, a little bit
sarcastically. Then, he turned and walked away from her.

# # # # # # # # # # #

NOTES: How was everyone's Thanksgiving (assuming most of you celebrate it)?
Mine was okay. My aunt made a comment that confused me. She said I was a
"real lady". I don't get it. o.O Anyway, this chapter kind of sucks. Just
like the last chapter, it was dramatic and unhappy. Things'll get better for
our favorite couple, I promise. What did you think of my characterization of
Rui? Rui's great. And he's fun to write. Tsukushi isn't, though. I have a
difficult time with her. She's a cool character, but I think I write her
very OOC (her mom too). I agree with anyone who thinks I overdramatized her
family+monetary situation. It's just for the purpose of this story, though.
I can't really say when the next chapter will be out. It could be a couple
of days, or a couple of weeks. Thus far, I've had drafts written out (that's
what I do in math class ^_-). But for chapter four I have nothing. Do you
know what would inspire me, though? Reviews!! Hee, hee. Please review
whether you hate, love, like, dislike, or are confused by this 'fic. I'm
really happy about everyone that's reviewed so far! Thank you times a
million! You rock!