Angel Boy
Chapter 11/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star

Chapter 11: Leaving

I felt a stab of regret when Victoria pulled away from the kiss. She settled back in her chair with a little sigh, and reached around to rub her lower back.

"Wow..." was all I could say, even though I wanted to ask if she was okay, if she had hurt herself, and I wanted to tell her how amazing that kiss was. I've never felt anything like it. Nothing even close to it. It was like fireworks going off in my head, a swirl of color and light, and a warm, calm feeling. So many things I wanted to say, and I could only manage to say "Wow." A simple, nondescript word for the most incredible experience of my life.

I smiled at her. She had a smile that could light up a room, except she wasn't smiling. She looked...sad. Something like regret flashed in her eyes. But how? How could she regret kissing me? Could she really think kissing me was a mistake?

How could she not feel what I had felt?

She blinked, fighting back tears. "I'm sorry, Simon. I shouldn't have..." her voice cracked like a preteen.

"What? No!" I wanted to reach out and stroke her hair, her cheek, her shoulder...anything. But I couldn't reach her even if I sat up and leaned over. "Don't be sorry, Tory. It was...It was perfect."

"I know." She wiped both of her eyes with the backs of her hands. "I know it was perfect. I knew it would be perfect. That's why...That's why I'm sorry."

I stared at her, trying to wrap my head around her words. How could she be sorry? How could she say she knew it was perfect, kissing me was perfect, and she was sorry? "Tory...that doesn't make sense..."

"Yes, it does. Simon. Listen to me." Two rivers of tears flowed down her cheeks as if a gate opened somewhere to start the stream. She made no move to dry her eyes now. She looked down, tears dripping onto her lap. She looked up again after a moment, and her face reminded me of someone who had just lost their best friend. I hated my stupid, paralyzed body, because I couldn't go to her. I couldn't take her in my arms and make her feel better. I couldn't hold her to my chest and whisper in her ear that everything will be okay, whatever it is.

She took a deep breath, a breath for courage. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"You're...leaving?"

She nodded and looked down again. "I'm going home. I found out a couple days ago. I guess that's why Id idn't come see you. I was afraid..."

"Afraid?" I felt like a parrot, or a broken record, or a love sick teenager, half crazy with my feelings for her.

She looked up, and into my eyes. Her eyes had a silver metallic glow to them, like a character in a science fiction story. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here at all. I should have just..."

"Just what? Just left without saying goodbye? Without giving me your phone number and your address?" I felt the flush in my cheeks, the promise of tears in my eyes. I closed my eyes, only briefly because I wanted to look at her aas long, and as much, as I could before she had to go.

I tried to call out to Josh, because he would know what to do. If I hadn't pushed him away. He wasn't real anyway, I knew that. He was simply a manifestation of my own thoughts and desires. He told me only what I already knew I needed to do.

He would tell me to do whatever I had to do to kiss her.

I wanted to kiss her. I really did. But she was too far away, sitting back in her chair. I would fall out of the bed if I tried to reach her, and that would be a total disaster.

"I'm sorry."

"Would you quit saying that, please? Please stop saying that."

She gnawed on her bottom lip and glanced at the door. She wanted to get away. She wanted to leave and never look back. After that kiss, that wonderful, amazing, earth shattering kiss, she wanted to leave.

"I'm in love with you, Simon Camden."

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I blinked several times and pressed my hands to my eyes to stop the swirling kaleidoscope of colors vibrating through my mind. She loved me? She kissed me and said she was sorry and it was perfect but she had to leave tomorrow, which meant I might never see her again, and then she said she's in love with me?

"I..."

"You don't have to say it back."

"Yes I do. I do, Victoria. I love you too." My brother Matt always told me I would know when I was in love. I'd never felt like I was in love with any one before. I never even wanted to date anyone. Could it be that I was waiting for Victoria? Finding out about Josh, the car accident, and Kevin's death seemed like a lot to have to go through to find the one girl I was meant to find, but suddenly it all seemed worth it. Suddenly the whole world seemed different. Better. Brighter. More beautiful. "I want to kiss you again." I whispered.

She shook her head. "We shouldn't. Simon, I'm going home tomorrow..."

"So? So you ask your parents to bring you here to see me until I go home then we'll work something out."

"My parents won't bring me back here, Simon. I live two hours away."

Suddenly life seemed more cruel than it ever had before. I'd fallen in love, kissed the girl of my dreams, and had my heart torn from my chest all in the same day. All in the space of five minutes, actually.

"I'm sorry, Simon."

"Stop saying you're sorry and just kiss me. Please."

She was torn, and I wasn't helping the situation. I should have let her go. We were young, we could both find someone else. Someday. But who would want someone who may be in a wheelchair all his life? Someone else faced with the same possibility...

"Simon..."

"Please..."

"I didn't know it would be this hard..."

"It doesn't have to be. Tory, we can work something out. We can. My parents...they'll help us see each other. I know they will."

She nodded, but I knew she didn't believe me. How could she? Why would she? Two hours is a long way. But I wouldn't let a few miles keep me from the girl I loved. I would never love anyone like I loved Victoria. I didn't want to ever love anyone else anyway.

"Kiss me, please because I can't come to you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End chapter 11. I'm so evil. I just love to leave my chapters in a cliff hanger. Will she kiss him or run away? You'll just have to stay tuned and wait for the next chapter...Until then, take care. Happy reading, and happy writing for the writers. As for me, I'm off to work. Argh. I don't like this day job and night job thing. Ah well. At least I'm squeezing in a little writing time...So please review me so I know you're reading. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)