WHY ARAGORN IS AN ONION! (follow-up to ZenZen's "Why Aragorn is not an Onion" )

For those that had read ZenZen's fiction on Aragorn not being an onion, you would had been presumably convinced that Aragorn isn't an onion. but I'm here to prove otherwise.

Fact number one. I believe that there are thousands, perhaps millions that agree with me that Aragorn is an onion, so perhaps I already have supporters.

.But let me start from the beginning. I'll start from ZenZen's comment: "The onion will age, and while humans loose hair, the onion will gain fur as it gets old and mouldy. I do not believe that Aragorn, in his final phase of life (death) will gain any fur." Now. how do we know that Aragorn didn't gain fur? Middle Earth men. you never know. and him being a king bla bla bla. who says that Aragorn didn't and wouldn't gain fur (and what about other parts of his body. parts we'll never see ;))? While we're on the subject, Aragorn ages and gets old and mouldy . just like the onion. (ps. I wasn't insulting him btw; we all get mouldy in the end!) Therefore, I believe Aragorn is an onion.

Now, many of the Aragorn-fans, perhaps like you, have described him as gorgoues, hot or "yummy". Did you know onion that has been pickled, dressed or fried could also be yummy? [Aragorn may taste very nice in a Garden Salad (.you tell me when you try it).] Therefore, Aragorn must be an onion.

Onions have layers, and so does Aragorn (he's such a deep-thinking person). Therefore, Aragorn is certainly an onion.

For those that dislike him, here's an argument for it:

An onion. It makes us cry just looking at it. Aragorn. He also makes us cry just looking at him. Therefore, Aragorn must be an onion!

Here's another one just to push it more. Onions don't have brains, and according to anti-Aragorns, Aragorn doesn't have a brain either. Therefore, ladies and gentlemen Aragorn is an onion. (If you can prove either has a brain, inform me. :D)

Now from the scientific point of view, for all you skeptics: Onions are alive: they are living organisms with cells. And Aragorn is very much alive as well with cells. Therefore, - must I repeat this again? - Aragorn is an onion.

Lastly, I'll like to say one more thing.

I have nothing against Aragorn. And now thinking more into the subject, I also have nothing against onions. Therefore, and for the last time, I believe Aragorn is an onion.

You have read my well-thought argumentative points, and now surely you must also believe that ARAGORN IS MOST CERTAINLY AN ONION.