Title: Towers
Author: maestra
Chapter 15: Sunshine and Shadows
That evening after they had eaten a pizza Tara had grabbed on the way home, Jarod called Tara into his room again to look at a couple more 'home movies' with him.
"I need to talk to you, and I want you to see something. Can we talk for a while?" he asked.
"Certainly Jarod," Tara replied as she came and sat down beside him on the bed and gave him her full attention. She studied his face carefully, "What did you want to tell me Jarod?"
"See when I was growing up in the darkness that was the Centre I had one bright spot in my life. I want you to see this."
Jarod put in a DSA with special care, and turned to look at Tara, "This one is very special to me."
"Why?"
"It is the first time I ever saw a girl."
Tara looked at him quizzically but didn't say a word while the DSA loaded and began to play in black and white...
"It's when I first met Miss Parker."
Then he switched the DSA player on to play the scene where he had first seen Miss Parker through the walls of the sim lab. Tara watched with interest as Jarod and a young girl who she presumed was Miss Parker both placed their flat palms on the cool glass in the same spot. As if the wall wasn't even there, they touched. She quickly looked over at Jarod to try and read his emotional state. She saw sadness, pain and longing written all over his face.
"Miss Parker?"
"Yeah Parker", he said fondly, "the girl who gave me my first kiss."
"Excuse me Jarod, but isn't she the same Miss Parker you are always trying to get away from? The one who has hunted you since your escape from the Centre? And who is even now in New York City trying to take you back?" Tara asked confused.
"Yeah," Jarod replied with a sad sigh, "Twisted, isn't it?"
"Yes." Tara shook her head slightly at him in disbelief.
Jarod caught her watching him and turned to her, catching her sympathetic look, " I know it doesn't make much sense. But Tara, I still remember the little girl she used to be. My closest childhood friends were Angelo and Miss Parker. I don't know how I would have survived there without her. Her visits were like a ray of sunshine, when I was never allowed outside to see the light. To be honest, I haven't felt as close to anyone since her, until I met you."
"But she isn't that little girl anymore Jarod," Tara said, reaching out and touching the side of his face briefly. "She's all grown up; she is a powerful woman now."
"God, don't I know it," he sighed happily thinking of Parker in her mini skirts chasing after him in those crazy high heels of hers.
"You might be romaniticizing the situation Jarod. She might not feel the same way about you."
"Yes, Tara, I know. But I have to take a chance. I have to know. I have faith that the little girl I knew is still in there, somewhere. I just have to find her. I know that she puts on a façade for her father and the Centre.. I am convinced, she only pretends to hate me. Somewhere deep down inside me, I have to believe she feels the same way I do. She's had a hard life, growing up in the shadows of the Centre."
"So have you Jarod. But Miss Parker ties you to the place, you will never be free until you cut your ties with her."
"I can't do that Tara," he said as he slowly shook his head. "I'd as soon cut out my heart. I know, that little girl is who was my closest friend is lost somewhere inside the icy walls Parker uses to protect her heart."
He wrestled with the words to describe his feelings, Tara could tell. She took his hand in hers, and squeezed it encouragingly. "I hope you're right, Jarod. I just want you to be happy, whether it is with Parker or someone else. I just want you to be happy."
Tara felt a twinge of jealousy, but quickly stamped it out. She knew he loved another, there was no chemistry between them other than the affection one felt for a dear friend. She had to believe, she would hold a precious place in his heart as he forever would in hers. But with Jarod's leaving, would her life return to it's lonely pace?
Tara was honest enough to admit, that when Jarod came into her life, she had changed. She looked back over the past few short days. Was it knowing Jarod, or the events that had taken place on 9-11 that had changed her?
Tara wasn't sure, but somehow, she knew she had been changed. She had went from being unemployed to being a volunteer in just one day. And that day might very well have been the most important day of her life, the day she met Jarod. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and one slipped over the lashes that framed her Caribbean blue eyes and rolled slowly down her cheek.
"Hey, why the tears?" Jarod wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, using one thumb to brush the hot tear away.
"Just thinking about the the past few days, and how my life has changed. I guess you could say, my world has been rocked." She tried to smile, but it was weak at best.
Jarod hugged her even tighter. 'You're going to be okay, Tara."
"I know I am Jarod. I was just thinking how even though I haven't known you long, my life will never be the same. I'm going to miss you when you are gone my brother of the heart."
"I'll miss you too, Tara." Jarod pulled away from her a bit and smiled. "But I have to go, with Miss Parker at Ground Zero today, it is just a matter of time until they find out where I am and that I have been staying with you. I have to leave tomorrow."
"I know." Another big tear slipped from her eyes as she whispered again, "I know."
She hugged him close again and then pulled away entirely. "So you leave tomorrow." She wiped her damp cheeks with her hand as she pulled ran her fingers through her long blonde hair to untangle it. "When?"
"I'm not sure."
"So what are we going to do?"
"I don't know. I can't go back to the fire station or Ground Zero Tara, I won't put anyone else in danger from the Centre. But, I need to let Sydney know I am alright."
"I think you need to talk to Miss Parker personally Jarod. If you really care for her as much as you say you do, she needs to know. You need to find out if she feels the same way. You need to have at least one thing in your life settled Jarod."
"I know. But it isn't just a matter of picking up the phone and calling Parker, and saying, 'Hey, I love you. Do you love me too?' I have to wait for the right time, the right opportunity."
"Don't wait to long Jarod. If we have learned one thing, from these past few days, isn't it that when you love someone you need to tell them so? That may be the last chance you ever get to tell them so."
"I have to wait. I have to know, to see it in her eyes. I can't do it over the phone Tara."
"I never said you could. Just don't wait to long. Ok? And if she breaks your heart, she will have to answer to me, do you hear?" Tara replied honestly, a bit indignant at the thought that Miss Parker might break his heart.
"Oh quite the little spitfire!" Jarod laughed at her loyal outburst and started to tickle her.
"Hey, she messes with my brother of the heart, she messes with the whole family!" Tara grinned before trying to get away. He grabbed her hand and pinned her to the bed tickling her. She tried to get away, but finally gave up the struggle, and dissolved into a fit of laughter.
Tara endured as much as she could, then still giggling she threw herself to the side and slipped away from him and off the bed onto the floor. She popped up and grabbed the down pillow from his bead, and whacked him over the head with it still laughing.
"Why you little..." Jarod looked stunned for a moment that she would retaliate, then started to laugh. He grabbed the other down pillow and started after her.
"Catch me if you can!" Tara laughed in delight as she spun on her heel, and dashed out into the hallway where he finally caught up with her, and caught her body between the pillow and the wall with a loud thump. She sped away, before he could pull his arm back and try to hit her with it again.
She ran into the kitchen but he followed her there too, and he trapped her there. He managed to get a couple good whacks at her legs before she ran up to him and pushed him out of the door way while getting in a good whack at his abdomen with her pillow as she dashed by laughing at his slightly stunned look.
She managed to get as far as the living room by the sofa before he caught up with her again and she took another hit, this time hard one on her tush. She just hauled off and hit him as hard as she could with her pillow on the shoulder in retaliation.
Tara stopped momentarily in surprise as the pillow in her hands suddenly came apart and the down it contained spewed out into the air as it continued its arc toward the floor. The white down fell like snowflakes landing on Jarod's head, shoulders, and all over the floor. He stuck out his lower lip and with a blast of air blew one of his nose.
He stood there for a few seconds contemplating his next move before taking his pillow again and whacking Tara so hard she fell onto the sofa. And his pillow too split at the seams and sent the down tumbling through the air, all about her. She was laughing so hard that she couldn't catch her breath.
Suddenly she began to cough and sputter and Jarod dropped his pillow and knelt by her side while she sat up and tried to get the feathers out of her mouth.
"Sorry Tara," Jarod murmured contritely as he helped get the feathers off her face, and torso.
Coughing a little Tara frowned at him, "I'm okay."
"I have a tendency to get a little carried away. I don't know when to stop. I went to far."
"No, I'm okay Jarod," she put her hand on his shoulder and looked into his dark eyes. "Really, I am fine."
"If you're sure."
"I am, and I started it. So, I have to take half the blame here." She brushed off the clingy down from his broad shoulders, and then looked past him. "Looks like it snowed in here."
Jarod cracked a small smile in response. "I'll get the vacuum and get it cleaned up."
"No," Tara quickly replied, "I will."
"Well, I could see about making plans for tomorrow." Jarod got up and brushed off his pants.
"There you go," Tara smiled, "I knew you would think of something to keep yourself occupied with." Jarod helped her to her feet and she brushed herself off before heading off to the closet where she stored the vacuum.
** ** ** *** *** ** ** ** ** ** ** *** *
Tara had cleaned up the living room and joined Jarod over at her computer desk, bringing him a bowl of ice cream.
"Mmm, Thanks." Jarod smiled as he took the first creamy mouthful.
"No problem," Tara said as she picked a stray feather out of his hair, "I thought I got all those."
"You'll probably be finding them for months," Jarod laughed.
"True. So, what is your plan?"
"I don't know. I'm still working on it." Jarod sighed frustrated and ran his had through his dark hair.
"Well, I think I am going to take a shower and turn in then Jarod. If you don't need me. I have the feeling tomorrow is going to be a busy day."
"You're probably right. Goodnight Tara," Jarod sighed.
"Goodnight Jarod, I'll put a couple more pillows in your room." Tara replied as she leaned over and gave him a hug. "Sweet dreams."
"You too." Jarod patted her arm goodnight as she embraced him.
He turned to watch her walk slowly down the hall towards her bedroom. Then he rested his hands on her keyboard a moment before sending them flying into action. Tara was right, he did need to tell Miss Parker how he felt about her. But more importantly, he needed all the people he loved to know that he cared. And he was going to start with his family....
While Tara slept Jarod made arrangements to leave New York within the next 24 hours. He finished by setting up a couple secure e-mail addresses for Tara and himself to correspond. With Tara he couldn't pretend, she had gotten through to his heart. And even though this would make him vulnerable, he wasn't going to cut off his relationship with her as he usually did with those he had helped along the way. This time, he couldn't just ride off into the sunset and never look back. Tara was his touchstone. A friend who would be there for him, come what may. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but he had so many shadows in his life, he was going to enjoy the warmth of the sunshine while he still could.
Exhausted Jarod turned off her computer and headed off to bed. He undressed in the dark and wearily pulled back the covers and climbed in, only to find Tara had short-sheeted his bed.
"What the-" Jarod exclaimed softly in surprise, then couldn't contain a little chuckle at her audacity. 'Guess she got the last laugh,' he thought to himself as he got out and remade the bed in the dark before lying down again. 'She really is a little spitfire.'
Jarod had called in the earlier that night to let Joe know that he had decided to go home. That life in New York City was to hard on him. And Joe with quiet grace had understood Jarod's reasoning. He thanked Joe for giving him the "heads up" through Tara about Sydney, and confessed that he had not yet spoken to 'his father' but had plans to do so the very next day. That seemed to put Joe's mind at rest. Joe assured Jarod if he ever decided to give firefighting a try again, he would be happy to provide a letter of recommendation to his new Captain.
He'd miss Joe, Stan and Pete. How could you not feel close to someone you had survived these experiences with he reasoned with himself. But the fact that all three of them knew he was staying with Tara put her at risk if the Centre should go snooping around the firehouse again. He didn't want to involve her in his fight against the Centre. He wanted her to be safe, and as long as he was with her, she was in danger.
Author: maestra
Chapter 15: Sunshine and Shadows
That evening after they had eaten a pizza Tara had grabbed on the way home, Jarod called Tara into his room again to look at a couple more 'home movies' with him.
"I need to talk to you, and I want you to see something. Can we talk for a while?" he asked.
"Certainly Jarod," Tara replied as she came and sat down beside him on the bed and gave him her full attention. She studied his face carefully, "What did you want to tell me Jarod?"
"See when I was growing up in the darkness that was the Centre I had one bright spot in my life. I want you to see this."
Jarod put in a DSA with special care, and turned to look at Tara, "This one is very special to me."
"Why?"
"It is the first time I ever saw a girl."
Tara looked at him quizzically but didn't say a word while the DSA loaded and began to play in black and white...
"It's when I first met Miss Parker."
Then he switched the DSA player on to play the scene where he had first seen Miss Parker through the walls of the sim lab. Tara watched with interest as Jarod and a young girl who she presumed was Miss Parker both placed their flat palms on the cool glass in the same spot. As if the wall wasn't even there, they touched. She quickly looked over at Jarod to try and read his emotional state. She saw sadness, pain and longing written all over his face.
"Miss Parker?"
"Yeah Parker", he said fondly, "the girl who gave me my first kiss."
"Excuse me Jarod, but isn't she the same Miss Parker you are always trying to get away from? The one who has hunted you since your escape from the Centre? And who is even now in New York City trying to take you back?" Tara asked confused.
"Yeah," Jarod replied with a sad sigh, "Twisted, isn't it?"
"Yes." Tara shook her head slightly at him in disbelief.
Jarod caught her watching him and turned to her, catching her sympathetic look, " I know it doesn't make much sense. But Tara, I still remember the little girl she used to be. My closest childhood friends were Angelo and Miss Parker. I don't know how I would have survived there without her. Her visits were like a ray of sunshine, when I was never allowed outside to see the light. To be honest, I haven't felt as close to anyone since her, until I met you."
"But she isn't that little girl anymore Jarod," Tara said, reaching out and touching the side of his face briefly. "She's all grown up; she is a powerful woman now."
"God, don't I know it," he sighed happily thinking of Parker in her mini skirts chasing after him in those crazy high heels of hers.
"You might be romaniticizing the situation Jarod. She might not feel the same way about you."
"Yes, Tara, I know. But I have to take a chance. I have to know. I have faith that the little girl I knew is still in there, somewhere. I just have to find her. I know that she puts on a façade for her father and the Centre.. I am convinced, she only pretends to hate me. Somewhere deep down inside me, I have to believe she feels the same way I do. She's had a hard life, growing up in the shadows of the Centre."
"So have you Jarod. But Miss Parker ties you to the place, you will never be free until you cut your ties with her."
"I can't do that Tara," he said as he slowly shook his head. "I'd as soon cut out my heart. I know, that little girl is who was my closest friend is lost somewhere inside the icy walls Parker uses to protect her heart."
He wrestled with the words to describe his feelings, Tara could tell. She took his hand in hers, and squeezed it encouragingly. "I hope you're right, Jarod. I just want you to be happy, whether it is with Parker or someone else. I just want you to be happy."
Tara felt a twinge of jealousy, but quickly stamped it out. She knew he loved another, there was no chemistry between them other than the affection one felt for a dear friend. She had to believe, she would hold a precious place in his heart as he forever would in hers. But with Jarod's leaving, would her life return to it's lonely pace?
Tara was honest enough to admit, that when Jarod came into her life, she had changed. She looked back over the past few short days. Was it knowing Jarod, or the events that had taken place on 9-11 that had changed her?
Tara wasn't sure, but somehow, she knew she had been changed. She had went from being unemployed to being a volunteer in just one day. And that day might very well have been the most important day of her life, the day she met Jarod. Tears began to well up in her eyes, and one slipped over the lashes that framed her Caribbean blue eyes and rolled slowly down her cheek.
"Hey, why the tears?" Jarod wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, using one thumb to brush the hot tear away.
"Just thinking about the the past few days, and how my life has changed. I guess you could say, my world has been rocked." She tried to smile, but it was weak at best.
Jarod hugged her even tighter. 'You're going to be okay, Tara."
"I know I am Jarod. I was just thinking how even though I haven't known you long, my life will never be the same. I'm going to miss you when you are gone my brother of the heart."
"I'll miss you too, Tara." Jarod pulled away from her a bit and smiled. "But I have to go, with Miss Parker at Ground Zero today, it is just a matter of time until they find out where I am and that I have been staying with you. I have to leave tomorrow."
"I know." Another big tear slipped from her eyes as she whispered again, "I know."
She hugged him close again and then pulled away entirely. "So you leave tomorrow." She wiped her damp cheeks with her hand as she pulled ran her fingers through her long blonde hair to untangle it. "When?"
"I'm not sure."
"So what are we going to do?"
"I don't know. I can't go back to the fire station or Ground Zero Tara, I won't put anyone else in danger from the Centre. But, I need to let Sydney know I am alright."
"I think you need to talk to Miss Parker personally Jarod. If you really care for her as much as you say you do, she needs to know. You need to find out if she feels the same way. You need to have at least one thing in your life settled Jarod."
"I know. But it isn't just a matter of picking up the phone and calling Parker, and saying, 'Hey, I love you. Do you love me too?' I have to wait for the right time, the right opportunity."
"Don't wait to long Jarod. If we have learned one thing, from these past few days, isn't it that when you love someone you need to tell them so? That may be the last chance you ever get to tell them so."
"I have to wait. I have to know, to see it in her eyes. I can't do it over the phone Tara."
"I never said you could. Just don't wait to long. Ok? And if she breaks your heart, she will have to answer to me, do you hear?" Tara replied honestly, a bit indignant at the thought that Miss Parker might break his heart.
"Oh quite the little spitfire!" Jarod laughed at her loyal outburst and started to tickle her.
"Hey, she messes with my brother of the heart, she messes with the whole family!" Tara grinned before trying to get away. He grabbed her hand and pinned her to the bed tickling her. She tried to get away, but finally gave up the struggle, and dissolved into a fit of laughter.
Tara endured as much as she could, then still giggling she threw herself to the side and slipped away from him and off the bed onto the floor. She popped up and grabbed the down pillow from his bead, and whacked him over the head with it still laughing.
"Why you little..." Jarod looked stunned for a moment that she would retaliate, then started to laugh. He grabbed the other down pillow and started after her.
"Catch me if you can!" Tara laughed in delight as she spun on her heel, and dashed out into the hallway where he finally caught up with her, and caught her body between the pillow and the wall with a loud thump. She sped away, before he could pull his arm back and try to hit her with it again.
She ran into the kitchen but he followed her there too, and he trapped her there. He managed to get a couple good whacks at her legs before she ran up to him and pushed him out of the door way while getting in a good whack at his abdomen with her pillow as she dashed by laughing at his slightly stunned look.
She managed to get as far as the living room by the sofa before he caught up with her again and she took another hit, this time hard one on her tush. She just hauled off and hit him as hard as she could with her pillow on the shoulder in retaliation.
Tara stopped momentarily in surprise as the pillow in her hands suddenly came apart and the down it contained spewed out into the air as it continued its arc toward the floor. The white down fell like snowflakes landing on Jarod's head, shoulders, and all over the floor. He stuck out his lower lip and with a blast of air blew one of his nose.
He stood there for a few seconds contemplating his next move before taking his pillow again and whacking Tara so hard she fell onto the sofa. And his pillow too split at the seams and sent the down tumbling through the air, all about her. She was laughing so hard that she couldn't catch her breath.
Suddenly she began to cough and sputter and Jarod dropped his pillow and knelt by her side while she sat up and tried to get the feathers out of her mouth.
"Sorry Tara," Jarod murmured contritely as he helped get the feathers off her face, and torso.
Coughing a little Tara frowned at him, "I'm okay."
"I have a tendency to get a little carried away. I don't know when to stop. I went to far."
"No, I'm okay Jarod," she put her hand on his shoulder and looked into his dark eyes. "Really, I am fine."
"If you're sure."
"I am, and I started it. So, I have to take half the blame here." She brushed off the clingy down from his broad shoulders, and then looked past him. "Looks like it snowed in here."
Jarod cracked a small smile in response. "I'll get the vacuum and get it cleaned up."
"No," Tara quickly replied, "I will."
"Well, I could see about making plans for tomorrow." Jarod got up and brushed off his pants.
"There you go," Tara smiled, "I knew you would think of something to keep yourself occupied with." Jarod helped her to her feet and she brushed herself off before heading off to the closet where she stored the vacuum.
** ** ** *** *** ** ** ** ** ** ** *** *
Tara had cleaned up the living room and joined Jarod over at her computer desk, bringing him a bowl of ice cream.
"Mmm, Thanks." Jarod smiled as he took the first creamy mouthful.
"No problem," Tara said as she picked a stray feather out of his hair, "I thought I got all those."
"You'll probably be finding them for months," Jarod laughed.
"True. So, what is your plan?"
"I don't know. I'm still working on it." Jarod sighed frustrated and ran his had through his dark hair.
"Well, I think I am going to take a shower and turn in then Jarod. If you don't need me. I have the feeling tomorrow is going to be a busy day."
"You're probably right. Goodnight Tara," Jarod sighed.
"Goodnight Jarod, I'll put a couple more pillows in your room." Tara replied as she leaned over and gave him a hug. "Sweet dreams."
"You too." Jarod patted her arm goodnight as she embraced him.
He turned to watch her walk slowly down the hall towards her bedroom. Then he rested his hands on her keyboard a moment before sending them flying into action. Tara was right, he did need to tell Miss Parker how he felt about her. But more importantly, he needed all the people he loved to know that he cared. And he was going to start with his family....
While Tara slept Jarod made arrangements to leave New York within the next 24 hours. He finished by setting up a couple secure e-mail addresses for Tara and himself to correspond. With Tara he couldn't pretend, she had gotten through to his heart. And even though this would make him vulnerable, he wasn't going to cut off his relationship with her as he usually did with those he had helped along the way. This time, he couldn't just ride off into the sunset and never look back. Tara was his touchstone. A friend who would be there for him, come what may. Perhaps it was selfish of him, but he had so many shadows in his life, he was going to enjoy the warmth of the sunshine while he still could.
Exhausted Jarod turned off her computer and headed off to bed. He undressed in the dark and wearily pulled back the covers and climbed in, only to find Tara had short-sheeted his bed.
"What the-" Jarod exclaimed softly in surprise, then couldn't contain a little chuckle at her audacity. 'Guess she got the last laugh,' he thought to himself as he got out and remade the bed in the dark before lying down again. 'She really is a little spitfire.'
Jarod had called in the earlier that night to let Joe know that he had decided to go home. That life in New York City was to hard on him. And Joe with quiet grace had understood Jarod's reasoning. He thanked Joe for giving him the "heads up" through Tara about Sydney, and confessed that he had not yet spoken to 'his father' but had plans to do so the very next day. That seemed to put Joe's mind at rest. Joe assured Jarod if he ever decided to give firefighting a try again, he would be happy to provide a letter of recommendation to his new Captain.
He'd miss Joe, Stan and Pete. How could you not feel close to someone you had survived these experiences with he reasoned with himself. But the fact that all three of them knew he was staying with Tara put her at risk if the Centre should go snooping around the firehouse again. He didn't want to involve her in his fight against the Centre. He wanted her to be safe, and as long as he was with her, she was in danger.
