AN: School begins tomorrow, and I haven't even packed my school bag yet. Oh well. I shall ignore my mother's protests and sit down in front of this bright blue computer monitor and begin the third chapter of A Better Man. And I'm going to hope on all my brand-new notebooks and pens that you guys like it.
Disclaimer: You still don't sue, I still don't maim.
Dedicated to: Cheddar, who's birthday it is.
Chapter Three: Of Swimming Pools and Birthdays
"How do you do it?"
"What?"
"Get on my nerves even when you aren't really doing anything!"
A shrug. "Style."
- Conversations
"No! What are you talking about? We're supposed to be in hiding! And there you go, talking about house-elves and swimming pools!" Hermione stood up from the small kitchen table, knocking over her glass of water. Draco, who was sitting across from her, watched the puddle spread with amused eyes.
Hermione sucked in her breath, eyes blazing, hair coming down from her bun in messy curls. She sighed heavily and glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Oh, will you look at that?!" she threw down her fork. "It's what... ten in the morning and we're already quarreling!" She glared at Draco, who was leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head.
"Are you going to come outside with me and help me reinforce the wards, or are you going to sit there and wait until you get obscenely fat?" she hissed. Draco sat up, looking mildly shocked, pinching at his sides. "Oh heavens. Getting fat is the last thing I'd ever want to happen to me." he replied, mocking Hermione's high-pitched tone. "I guess I'll go out and make myself useful... I could also check out that sad little patch of grass we call a lawn, and see if a swimming pool really will fit in it."
Winking at Hermione, he fled the table. Hermione stared after him, and then followed him outside, muttering to herself.
"A swimming pool... in the middle of nowhere... let's see him get away with that..."
It was not a very promising start to another day at the Hideaway Hellhole, which is what Draco had named the musty one-floor cottage they had been Relocated to.
~*~
Night fell, and the cold stars outside were treated to a sight of Hermione slamming her way into the Hellhole, with Draco following a long way behind, looking rather affected. He watched her slam the door to her bedroom closed, wincing only slightly at the loud bang.
~*~
Hermione leaned against the door, frowning. "I can't believe this. It's my birthday, and I'm stuck in a hellhole with the one man who would never even give me the time of day!" she whispered.
Outside, she could hear the bath running. Draco was obviously taking his midnight bath. Just the fact that Draco didn't know it was her birthday was enough to make Hermione clench her fists in anger.
How can one man be so inherently annoying?! And how can I be so annoyed at him without him even doing anything yet? she thought, glaring around the shabby little room. Ten years after graduation, and he can still be so immature... he hasn't changed at all... well, he's not that mean, I guess. she admitted to herself as she moved around, setting things to rights.
She came to her desk, and the worried expression on her face melted away. "Letters!" she shrieked happily, staring at the pile on her desk. But the Auror side of her took over, and she sighed, training her wand warily at the envelopes. She whispered several testing charms before the envelopes finally shimmered pink, a sure sign that there were no hexes or curses that could harm her.
She finally grabbed up the stack and began shuffling through them, noting the special sticker on the corner of the envelopes, which meant they had been sent to her using a Locator charm, which got past the Unplottable faction of their location, and which was also incredibly difficult to accomplish.
They could have gotten Professor Dumbledore to do that for them… Hermione thought happily, glancing with surprise at the letter marked "To Ms. Hermione Granger, From Professor Albus Dumbledore"
"Let's see... Ron, Mrs. Weasley... oh! Chocolate fudge! Mum, Dad, Professor Dumbledore, oh, heavens! Professor McGonagall..." Hermione frowned. What about Harry?
~*~
Draco stepped out of the small bathroom, shivering slightly at the cold air. "I absolutely despise showers." he whispered, teeth chattering. "I m-must convince Hermione to let me conjure up that sw-swimming p-pool... what the bloody hell?"
He stopped in the middle of the hallway, clutching the towel around his waist, staring down at the bright blue envelope lying at his still damp toes. "Aha. What is this?" he bent down and curiously picked it up, glancing at the To: Hermione Granger scrawled on the side...
~*~
And… well, Happy Birthday, bookworm!
Hermione sniffled, and wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. "Ron..." she grinned affectionately. "He can be so sweet when he wants to..." she broke off, rudely interrupted by a banging on her door.
"What do you want, Draco?" she called through the door, frowning once more, the letters clutched to her chest. Draco didn't answer, but continued to pound on the door. Hermione huffed angrily and pointed her wand at the door.
"Alohomora!"
The door swung open, revealing a very wet, half-naked, and very surprised Draco.
Hermione let out a small "eep!" at the sight of Draco blinking confusedly at her. Well, a small "eep!" at the sight of Draco in nothing but a thin bathtowel wrapped around his slim hips.
Draco, however, got over the shock in an admirable period of time. He reverted back to his patented half-smirk-half-smile, and lazily raised a silver eyebrow at Hermione's pale face.
"Aha! So, your hidden desire to see the wonderful Draco in the buff has finally been discovered! You tricky little nymph..."
He winked infuriatingly, and holding on the towel, quickly tossed the letter at Hermione before she came out of her shocked stupor and hexed him to Hades.
"I believe your boyfriend Potter sent this. Silly nancy boy, can't even perform a Locator charm properly."
He turned to leave, but then, turned back around.
"Oh, and was it your birthday? Sorry, couldn't resist taking a little peek." he waved a hand airily at the opened envelope. "Happy birthday, then... 'mione!"
With another wink, he set off down the corridor, disappearing into his room, leaving Hermione stock-still and paper-white in the middle of her room.
~*~
"Good morning, 'mione! How does it feel to be twenty-eight?" Draco was lounging on the dusty sofa, amusing himself by making the equally dusty fake flower arrangements zoom around the room.
"Don't talk to me, you insufferable git." Hermione hissed through gritted teeth. Draco looked hurt. "And what ever did I do to deserve such prickly behavior?" he affected, sending a rose flying Hermione's way.
She ducked, and the mildewed posy went flying over her head. "Will you please!" she burst out, glaring at Draco for all it was worth.
"You've done nothing but get on my nerves since the first day of this unbearable encounter! I have absolutely no idea what motivated me to sign up for this 'Paladin' business, but whatever it was, it was definitely not worth facing such a vexing, irking, bloody arsehole such as you!"
Hermione flung down her wand at that last word, and there was a dull *snap*. She stopped, and then stared down at the broken remains of what had been her most powerful weapon all throughout her magical life.
"Oh. Ohh..." she breathed, kneeling down and gathering up the snapped wood and the sad remainder of a unicorn tailhair into her trembling hands. She looked up at Draco, who had sat up, and was watching without emotion. He looked back at her, and opened his mouth.
"I'm sorry...
but could you repeat that glorious rant of yours? I lost you back there on 'get on my nerves.'"
Hermione stared at him through eyes filling with tears, and with a choked sob, she rushed into the other room, the dying magic of the wand emitting soft puffs of glittering blue smoke on the floor behind her.
And the flower arrangements clattered to the ground.
***
Thanks to all who reviewed so far, mainly:
Moon Revenge, emma, slinky, FairieDust, f0xyness39, KrayZM, sapphire613, couch-potato, and EmiV.
Special mentionings:
Fanfic Fanatic: Ah, I love long reviews! Thanks for the constructive remarks... and as for Draco's name? "Magnum" means "great"... so "great dragon with bad faith." Haha.
Katana47: Faith! You've reviewed almost every one of my fics! I owe you a gift... a ficlet, maybe? Email me!
And last, but definitely not least to:
The Hate of Abel: Aha. *hug* Love you!
