Scene 2
-Escape From Mako Reactor 7-
Weird Metal Tunnel Thingy
(Cloud, Barret, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are in a dark tunnel littered with debris and broken metal.)
Biggs: That should keep the planet going at least a little longer.
Wedge: Yeah. Too bad like a million people died in that explosion.
Biggs: Yeah. Lookit SOLDIER boy over there, he looks pretty guilty about it.
(Cloud ponders for a moment, furrowing his brow and looking worried.)
Cloud: You know, sometimes, I wonder how we get into rooms with no doors
(Cloud blinks.)
Cloud: Huh? Guilty?
(Jessie plants an explosive against the pile of debris blocking their exit.)
Jessie: OK! Now everyone get back, and Cloud, go up there and sit on that for a while!
Cloud: 'Kay, one sec-
Fenced-in Area
(The wall explodes, opening a way to a courtyard. Biggs, Jessie, Barret, and Cloud flip out of the doorway and form a nice cheerleading pyramid before spreading out into the fenced in area.)
(Wedge runs out screaming and slapping at himself.)
Wedge: MY ASS IS ON FIRE!!! MY ASS IS ON FIRE!!!
(Everyone points and laughs.)
Wedge: WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Wedge begins to cry again and puts out the flames with streams of tears.)
Barret: Um All right, now let's get the hell outta here.
Cloud: Hey, wanna announce to the world where we're gonna secretly meet?
Barret: Rendezvous at Sector 8 station! Split up and get on the train!
Jessie: SECTOR 8? OKAY!
Biggs: ON THE TRAIN, RIGHT?
Wedge: You mean the SECTOR 8 TRAIN STATION?
Jessie: WE'LL DEFINITELY BE THERE!
(They all exit except Barret and Cloud.)
(Barret starts to leave.)
Cloud: Hey! Pay me!
Barret: The hell you talkin' 'bout, foo'?
Cloud: My money!!!
Barret: What money?
Cloud: THE money?
Barret: WHAT money?!
Cloud: MY money!!! I'm a frikkin' mercenary, I'm supposed to get PAID for this!
Barret: I've got no money!!! If I had any, I'd buy a freakin' SHIRT!
(Barret starts to leave.)
Cloud: H, hey!
Barret: If it's about your money, save it 'til we're back at the hideout.
Cloud: Just steal some or something!!!
Barret: Stealing is WRONG!!!
Cloud: YOU'RE the frikkin' terrorist leader!
Barret: What?! Am not!!!
Cloud: Are too!
Barret: Am not!!!
Cloud: Are too!
Barret: Am not am not am not!!!
(Cloud glares threateningly.)
Cloud: I'VE STILL GOT THAT BIG-ASS SWORD!!!
Barret:
Barret: You ever consider going to anger management counseling?
Cloud: WHAT?!
(Cloud waves his Buster Sword at Barret.)
(Barret runs away screaming.)
(Cloud runs after him into the streets of Midgar.)
-Scene 3-
-Flower Girl - A Daring Leap-
Midgar Streets
Aeris: Dammit, that messed up my hair. Bastards!
(Aeris brushes herself off.)
(Cloud comes running in.)
Aeris: HEY! YOU! THE ONE WITH THE STUPID HAIRCUT!
(Cloud turns around.)
Aeris: Holy fucking SHIT!!!
(Aeris stares at Cloud with a bit of drool hanging out of her mouth.)
Cloud: Who the hell just called my hair STUPID?!
(Cloud brandishes his Buster Sword.)
Cloud: COME OUT HERE AND DIE!!!
(Cloud glances at Aeris.)
Cloud: Did you see the bastard that said that?
Aeris: (Oh shit! I better start acting cute or something!)
Aeris: Um noooooo tee hee!
Cloud: Dammit!
Aeris: UhTee hee, yeah, that's right, um, tee hee!
Cloud: Huh?
Aeris: Excuse me What happened?
Cloud: To my hair?!
Aeris: No! Of course not! I'd never ask something like that about how much it looks like you got hit by lightning while licking an electrical socket, I mean um, I meant the reactor and the big explosion thingie.
Cloud: Oh that was nothing hey, listen
(Aeris listens.)
Cloud: Uh uh well
(Aeris moves a bit closer to Cloud.)
Cloud: AHHHHHHHH!
(Aeris glares at Cloud.)
Cloud: Um, I mean-
(Aeris glares at Cloud again, more ferociously this time.)
Cloud: I meant, Ahhh! Flowers! I um, love them! Don't see many flowers around here!
Aeris: Oh, these? Do you like them? They're only a gil?
(Aeris stares at Cloud.)
Cloud: Uh sure! Whatever! Here!
(Cloud buys a flower.)
Aeris: Oh, thank you! Here you are! I can go buy, like, half the stuff at McDonalds now! Thank you so much!
Cloud: You're weird
Aeris: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
(Aeris's eyes suddenly start flaming.)
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Cloud runs down the street.)
Aeris: COME BACK HERE!!!
(Aeris runs after him.)
Midgar, Circular Area
(Cloud runs in.)
Cloud: Thank god, I think I lost her
(Cloud pants.)
Random Person #1: Just what the hell's going on?!
Cloud: WHEN THE HELL DID I ASK YOU TO TALK TO ME?!
Random Person #1: Freak!!!
(Random Person #1 runs away.)
Cloud: Idiot. Hey wonder what that is on the wall over there Let's see
(Cloud looks up at the poster on the wall.)
Don't be fooled by Bill Gates Shinra! Windows will not last forever! Money is the planet's lifesource, and he is draining it out of the Earth! The end is in sight!
The Protectors of the Planet: MACINTOSH
Cloud: What the hell?
Poster: WINDOWS USER DETECTED!!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Cloud: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Cloud runs off down the street.)
Another street in Midgar
(Cloud runs in.)
(A soldier patrolling the area spots him.)
Soldier: Hey! You there!
Cloud: Shinra soldiers
Soldier: NO REALLY! DO ANY OTHER COMPANY'S SOLDIERS WEAR THESE STUPID PURPLE UNIFORMS?! NOOOOOOOOOOO-
Cloud: Someone's bitter.
Soldier: DIE!!!
(Cloud beats the soldier down.)
Soldier: No must call backup
(Fifty million Shinra soldiers run into the room.)
Soldier: Hah! That's as far as you go!
Soldier #2: Hey, Joe, where'd you find her? She's pretty!
Cloud: WHAT?!
Soldier #3: You're right ooo lookit those nice blue eyes
Soldier #4: Peachy creamy skin
Cloud: I don't have time to be messin' around with you guys
Soldier #5: ENOUGH BABBLING! GRAB HER!!!
(The soldiers close in. Cloud backs away, but his path is blocked as he reaches a railing. Cloud jumps off the balcony onto the train as it rushes by.)
Cloud: OHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDD-
(The train zooms down the tunnel.)
Soldier #2:
Soldier #3:
Soldier #4:
Soldier #5: Dammit!!! They always get away!
Soldier #3: Whatever.
Soldier #2: I've got a couple gil, let's go find that flower girl
Soldier #4: Yeah, okay.
(All the Shinra soldiers skip off happily.)
-end Scene 2 & 3-
