Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'

Month 4

31st March 2003 I have just realised how fussy I am when it comes to my peanut butter - while I was making some pancakes for my breakfast (John had already gone - typical) I realised that I kept on subconsciously twisting the lid three times whenever I was closing the jar - maybe I'm going mad, maybe I'll end up like some batty old woman who twists jar lids a certain amount of times and arranges her refrigerator so that everything is in alphabetical order!!!!!!!

1st April 2003 Talked to John about the threat of me having OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). He asked me why I thought this and I told him about the jar. He said he'd keep an eye on me (as if he isn't protective enough - I think I may regret telling him)

2nd April 2003 I didn't sleep at all last night so I slept all day (I got John to tell Weaver that I wasn't feeling too good and was exhausted - he's obviously very persuasive or the ER staff are very gullible. When John walked in from work today I was making pancakes (surprise, surprise) apparently he was watching me (I had no idea) at the time he said nothing but just know before he drifted off to sleep he had a theory on my possible OCD

3rd April 2003 I feel so embarrassed I had to leave for work before John today but during our break I mentioned his so called breakthrough. He burst out laughing and said that the reason I twisted the lid that amount of times was because otherwise the lid would come off. While he was saying this he demonstrated using my nearly empty jar of PB which was even more humiliating. I told Susan later she too found it all very funny.

5th April 2003 Finally my morning sickness is beginning to wear off - I no longer have to get up an hour early to spend the gained hour clutching the toilet.

6th April 2003 To tired to write anything

7th April 2003 Ditto

8th April 2003 I'm already a batty (not so old) woman, I have become really forgetful - John thinks its hilarious - today I tried to re-heat some pizza in the microwave, I left it but when I came back 5 mins later it hadn't cooked - I hadn't set the timer!!!!! I think I have a tattoo across my forehead that reads 'Batty pregnant woman please laugh at me'

9th April 2003 It's officially 2 weeks since I've had a smoke - I'm very proud. I'm going to use this to get John to buy me dinner - its ages since we've gone out properly - I miss it - the whole getting dressed up and going out and making out on the couch and would often end up the next morning feeling strangely satisfied (I'll stop now!!!)- Jesus last time that happened I got pregnant - that's quite a scary thought

11th April 2003 Going out to dinner sometime next week - YEY!! - He said it would be a pleasure - I love my husband

12th April 2003 We both had the day off today so we sat around the house doing nothing. One of the cutest moments of my pregnancy occurred today - I was sitting on the couch trying to relax and Carter came and lay on the couch, his head on my stomach and he started talking to the baby - it was so sweet - I couldn't help but giggle (it tickled!!) and stroke his hair - you know like when a cat sits on your lap and you just have to stroke it was a bit like that.

14th April 2003 Went to see Dr Samuels today for the usual check-up. As well as the usual blood and urine tests, Dr Samuels also told me /us that the risk of miscarriage was now a lot smaller - of course I knew all this (I used to work in OB) but its still nice to hear someone else say it.

16th April 2003 I'm going to have a baby - I'm actually going to be a mum! I know it sounds stupid but it hadn't really hit me until today. I was talking to Susan (who is, incidentally, going soft) and she was talking about Chloe and Susie and I was talking about when I worked in OB and it suddenly hit me. The amount of times I've seen happy couples walk out of the hospital with their newborn babies and I realised in a few months time I was going to be one of those smug parents. By the time the conversation had ended I was in tears. I felt so pathetic.

19th April 2003 John hasn't taken me out to dinner - I'm very insulted - I bet he forgot all about it.

20th April 2003 He still hasn't said anything about the meal.

22nd April 2003 I confronted him, well, actually I told Susan so I may as well have confronted him. He said that he's going to take me out tomorrow as it'll be out 6-month anniversary.

23rd April 2003 Meal was nice - more details tomorrow when I'm actually awake.

24th April 2003 I feel so fat. I went to put on my nice black skirt yesterday night and it didn't fit - this is the black skirt that had always been to big for me. I sat in our bedroom and cried for about ½ an hour until John came in looking for a clean shirt. He saw me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was fat; he told me I'm pregnant, I had a go at him for being patronising and then he explained what he meant. He said that he didn't care if I looked fat (he assured me that I didn't - liar) but that I was pregnant - carrying his child and that made me more beautiful than ever. He was so sweet - he made me cry even more.

26th April 2003 I feel so.um. I don't know what the word is bleugh!!! I don't fit into any of my normal clothes and I don't fit into maternity clothes. Bleugh!!!!

27th April 2003 I've resorted to wearing John's clothes. It may sound sexy and trust me it used to be but now they're the only things that fit relatively comfortably.

28th April 2003 Had a phone call from Kerry at 10:30 this morning asking me why I wasn't at work. I told her I was on my way and that I'd slept late, honestly I didn't know I had a shift - this is what you get when your husband leaves before you do!!

Ok so maybe the update wasn't soon BUT it is here now. Hope you enjoyed it - it was slightly longer than the others I think!!!! Please review!!! Luv Hna xXx