Disclaimer I don't own Abby, Carter or any of the ER 'gang'
Month 5
29th April
Went to another Yoga session today with Susan. It was really fun actually - I'm more flexible than I thought. John refused to come with us, using the excuse that his was playing up - that makes two of us - he's such a wimp!
1st April
I only realised today while shopping how easy it's been for me to give up drinking - before now I'd never really thought about it I've either been to tired to think about it or just too happy to need a drink. Smoking on the other hand is different but it is becoming easier.
3rd May
Being pregnant has some advantages, hourly breaks, less patients and me and Carter get better shifts.
5th May
I had another heart to heart with Susan today, I told her about the abortion and what happened with Richard, she was so sweet about the entire thing, unlike a lot of other people she just sat and listened, she didn't judge me or question what I did she just listened.
6th May
Carters been acting strangely today, he didn't kiss me when I left work, he barely spoke to me all day.
8th May
Told Susan about John, she told me to 'Hurry up and sort it out'. Sometimes she can be annoying - stating the obvious is one of her more irritating traits, of course, I was just going to pray that my marriage fails and that I end up a single parent.
9th May
Had a long conversation with John today, apparently he heard part of my conversation with Susan the other day and had taken it the wrong way. I'd been talking about why my marriage with Richard had failed, the lack of communication the fact that we didn't really trust each other and how having a baby would have been the worse thing for our already failing Carter overheard marriage and apparently various parts of the conversation whilst talking to Romano outside the lounge, misheard and blew the whole thing out of proportion.
We spoke for ages; I told him how different it was. Me and John, we don't need to talk to communicate, we don't have to constantly tell each other how much we love each other, we just know - me and Richard didn't, we didn't talk, we expected too much, pushed each other too far, hid too much not only from each other but from ourselves.
I open up to John and because of that I can open up to myself. For starters I told John about my abortion. More importantly we're going to have a baby - together and I wouldn't change it for the world.
12th May
The baby kicked for the first time today strangely enough while I was watching Fear Factor. John insisted that I spent the rest of the evening on my back so he could whisper to my belly. I married a psychopath.
13th May
The delightful child that's growing inside me has decided to be an Olympic gymnast. My stomach hasn't had this much abuse since, well it hasn't.
15th May
We went to see Dr Samuels today and lost all my dignity - I giggled like a seven year old 7 when he was using the ultrasound (it tickles) and then cried when we heard the heart beat. John squeezed my hand, which made me cry even more. Dr Samuels just nodded politely and tried to avoid eye contact.
16th May
Peanut butter has disappeared again.
18th May
Apparently I'd put the peanut butter in the freezer but I don't remember that at all.
20th May
Weavers a cow, she's sending John away for a conference for 3 nights at the beginning of next month. He protested in front of me but I think he wants to go. I don't think I'll be able to cope when he's not here; he makes sure I don't fall out of bed; he makes amazing pancakes and always knows where the peanut butter is.
22nd May
He'll be gone from the 3rd to the 6th. He'll be living it up in Atlanta whereas I will be having my insides kicked out by a 5 month old foetus that has decided to get his training in early for the 2023 world kickboxing championships.
24th May
Since when has being pregnant meant that I'm incompetent? I arrived at work early this morning so I went to sit in the lounge for a moment before my shift, Susan was in there and proceeded to tell me about 'how much fun we're going to have' when Carters away. Yes that's right, he hired a babysitter for me.
25th May
After calming down slightly, I spoke to Carter. Who told me that Susan had offered to check up on me while he was gone. I told him I didn't need a minder but this is Carter, my stubborn husband who is voluntarily giving me and Susan free reign over our house provide I choose a colour for the nursery which me and him will paint when he gets back.
28th May
I am literally going to have to force Carter out of the door. I spilt a mug of coffee today and burnt my hand - Carter is refusing to leave. I have told him 5000 times that I'll be fine (hey, I'll have Susan fussing over me) but I may have to try a little harder to actually convince him. I hate stubborn people.
----
Its been a very long time since I've updated this but school and writers block are hard obstacles to dodge so I hope the wait was worth it, as always your feedback is appreciated - Hna xXx
Month 5
29th April
Went to another Yoga session today with Susan. It was really fun actually - I'm more flexible than I thought. John refused to come with us, using the excuse that his was playing up - that makes two of us - he's such a wimp!
1st April
I only realised today while shopping how easy it's been for me to give up drinking - before now I'd never really thought about it I've either been to tired to think about it or just too happy to need a drink. Smoking on the other hand is different but it is becoming easier.
3rd May
Being pregnant has some advantages, hourly breaks, less patients and me and Carter get better shifts.
5th May
I had another heart to heart with Susan today, I told her about the abortion and what happened with Richard, she was so sweet about the entire thing, unlike a lot of other people she just sat and listened, she didn't judge me or question what I did she just listened.
6th May
Carters been acting strangely today, he didn't kiss me when I left work, he barely spoke to me all day.
8th May
Told Susan about John, she told me to 'Hurry up and sort it out'. Sometimes she can be annoying - stating the obvious is one of her more irritating traits, of course, I was just going to pray that my marriage fails and that I end up a single parent.
9th May
Had a long conversation with John today, apparently he heard part of my conversation with Susan the other day and had taken it the wrong way. I'd been talking about why my marriage with Richard had failed, the lack of communication the fact that we didn't really trust each other and how having a baby would have been the worse thing for our already failing Carter overheard marriage and apparently various parts of the conversation whilst talking to Romano outside the lounge, misheard and blew the whole thing out of proportion.
We spoke for ages; I told him how different it was. Me and John, we don't need to talk to communicate, we don't have to constantly tell each other how much we love each other, we just know - me and Richard didn't, we didn't talk, we expected too much, pushed each other too far, hid too much not only from each other but from ourselves.
I open up to John and because of that I can open up to myself. For starters I told John about my abortion. More importantly we're going to have a baby - together and I wouldn't change it for the world.
12th May
The baby kicked for the first time today strangely enough while I was watching Fear Factor. John insisted that I spent the rest of the evening on my back so he could whisper to my belly. I married a psychopath.
13th May
The delightful child that's growing inside me has decided to be an Olympic gymnast. My stomach hasn't had this much abuse since, well it hasn't.
15th May
We went to see Dr Samuels today and lost all my dignity - I giggled like a seven year old 7 when he was using the ultrasound (it tickles) and then cried when we heard the heart beat. John squeezed my hand, which made me cry even more. Dr Samuels just nodded politely and tried to avoid eye contact.
16th May
Peanut butter has disappeared again.
18th May
Apparently I'd put the peanut butter in the freezer but I don't remember that at all.
20th May
Weavers a cow, she's sending John away for a conference for 3 nights at the beginning of next month. He protested in front of me but I think he wants to go. I don't think I'll be able to cope when he's not here; he makes sure I don't fall out of bed; he makes amazing pancakes and always knows where the peanut butter is.
22nd May
He'll be gone from the 3rd to the 6th. He'll be living it up in Atlanta whereas I will be having my insides kicked out by a 5 month old foetus that has decided to get his training in early for the 2023 world kickboxing championships.
24th May
Since when has being pregnant meant that I'm incompetent? I arrived at work early this morning so I went to sit in the lounge for a moment before my shift, Susan was in there and proceeded to tell me about 'how much fun we're going to have' when Carters away. Yes that's right, he hired a babysitter for me.
25th May
After calming down slightly, I spoke to Carter. Who told me that Susan had offered to check up on me while he was gone. I told him I didn't need a minder but this is Carter, my stubborn husband who is voluntarily giving me and Susan free reign over our house provide I choose a colour for the nursery which me and him will paint when he gets back.
28th May
I am literally going to have to force Carter out of the door. I spilt a mug of coffee today and burnt my hand - Carter is refusing to leave. I have told him 5000 times that I'll be fine (hey, I'll have Susan fussing over me) but I may have to try a little harder to actually convince him. I hate stubborn people.
----
Its been a very long time since I've updated this but school and writers block are hard obstacles to dodge so I hope the wait was worth it, as always your feedback is appreciated - Hna xXx
