*Chapter 6*

***

After hours of tests and treatments, Scully was finally returned to her hospital room. She appeared more lifeless than she had just a few hours earlier. This was wearing her down faster than I thought. She sat there in silence, staring out into nothingness without a trace of meaning left in her eyes. She was giving up; resigning from her struggling fight for life itself.

I wanted so badly to talk to her in that moment. The urge I felt for her to hear my voice just this once was overpowering. I had years to talk to her, years to tell her things. Now the time when I am not capable of speaking to her is the time I want to talk to her the most. Looking back, nothing else really mattered in my life. I was living in my own comfort zone, not wanting to face the reality that I might actually care about someone that much. Holding back my emotions, for the sole reason of not wanting to face my own feelings? It seemed so pointless to me now, so selfish. Now, I was paying the cosequences for my actions or lack thereof. I now was drowning in a sea of lost opportunities, and no one could hear my cry for help.

Scully thoughtfully glanced over to a notepad which was on the tray next to her bed. She placed it on her lap and began jotting different thoughts down.

I gently sat down on the bed, close enough to her that I could read what she was writing.

````````````````````` Mulder, I hoped this day would never come. The thought of losing someone close to me has always been one of my greatest fears.

I can only hope that you are in a happier place right now, reunited with your sister.

I've always known that eventually everyone grows old and passes on, but nothing could have prepared me for this. You were taken away from me so abrubtly.

But I want you to know that your death was not in vain, your legacy and your passion will always live on in our hearts. You have inspired me more than I can say, and through the years I have found safety in only you. Many times I've held back from telling you how I actually felt. My only hope now is that you somehow see this and finally understand how important you are to me.

Thanks you for your trust, your loyalty, and most of all your friendship.

I'm anxiously waiting for the day when we see eachother again.

Love, Scully

````````````````````` Tears were lightly streaming down her flushed face. She put the pen down with a feeling of satisfaction, as if writing that letter had lifted a weight off of her shoulders.

Just then the door nudged open; she was surprised to see that it was her brother who was entering the room.

Scully fumbled with the paper, trying to fold it before he saw what it was. She wiped the wetness from her face quickly so he wouldn't see that she was crying.

"Oh, Dana," he said with concern, moving closer to her. He gently put his hand over hers. She just sat there with her head down, almost as if in shame. She knew what he was going to say; she hated when people felt sorry for her like that.

"Look at you," he told her in disbelief.

She closed her eyes.

"Bill, it's okay," she assured him.

"This is okay to you? Dana, you have cancer," he said in a barely audible voice.

"People recover from cancer Bill," she said boldly.

They both looked into eachother's eyes in silence, both knowing that her chances were slim. Bill developed a look of disgust on his face.

"This is all his fault," he said looking away from her in anger.

He didn't even have to say the name; Scully knew who he meant. She loved her brother, but she heard this argument so many times from him.

"How can you blame this on a person?"

"If it weren't for Mulder, you wouldn't be involved in all of this," he explained to her.

"I am resposible for my own actions Bill," she told him.

"Dana, you and I both know that that's not where you wanted to be. In the basement of the FBI? He dragged you along on all of his outrageous chases," he said, raising his voice a little.

"How can you say those things to my face about someone who I care about? Does it count at all that he means something to me Bill? I was there because I wanted to be," she said firmly.

I was taken back.

Bill had always given me a tough time. And although it was hard for him to accept what she was saying, he stepped down from the subject and remained silent. Neither of them wanted to have this argument, especially at a time like this.

Bill nodded with glossy eyes, and bit his bottom lip as he leaned in to hug her.

"I'm sorry Dana, I just want the best for you," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered back. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...