DISCLAIMER:
If you don't realize that I don't own Super Smash Bros Melee
or anything associated with it by now, then start
reading the disclaimer from now own. That's what it's here for.
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Author's Note:
Ok, obviously the violence didn't go well with one or two
readers. And I know I've had a lot more battling than
usual. But I can't write something about a fighting game
without a little action and not feel awkward... But now that
I think back, I did put a bit too much gore, and I apologize
to the few readers who are affected by it.
Atleast Dimitri's gone now, so the violence should
be over. And, shockingly enough, Link has a vote! Dude!
When will "Gannondork", as he is so affectionately nicknamed,
be booted off? And for that matter, how long will a Pokemon
stay in a show controlled by people that, more likely than not,
dislike Pokemon in some way or other?
The complete opposite of violence will be taking place
as Spring draws near. It has been a week or so since
Dimitri's brutal reign, and everything's, well, boring right
now.

Find out what painfully parodic, extraordinarily evil,
and/or insanely idiotic pranks and plots take place
today, on..
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SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE
=Live in it and Win a Mansion=
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~*~/Match 11/~*~
---Spring Arrives---
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DAY 30
6 AM

((Piano Music plays from the living room))

"The snow outside has melted, the cold has gone away;
The Mansion in Nowheresville is now a great place to stay!
Although there is no guarentee when one of us will go,
We'll all be good sports till the end because--"

"KEEP IT DOWN!! SOME OF US ENJOY A THING
CALLED SLEEP!!" Samus said, stomping the floor of her
room above the living room, which had finally been
rebuild and cleaned of all traces of dead.. things. Surprisingly
enough, yet not really, Kirby was playing piano and singing
a song downstairs. Oy.
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The pink blob didn't seem to hear her as he continued
banging on the piano, waking everyone up bit by bit - And
trust me. Waking up a house full of strong fighters that
will likely be highly ticked off at you since it's early in
the morning... is NOT a smart thing.

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NEW TIME BECAUSE I FELT LIKE
SKIPPING AN HOUR:
7 AM

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Khan barged through the door. "Gooood mornin'!" he said to
the sleepy crew of Smashers who all glared - except for
kirby, who was still playing piano and singing obnoxiously
off-key.
"It'll be a GOOD mornin' when someone MURDERS that pink
annoyance!!" Gannon bellowed.
"Eheh, uh, yeah." Khan said, closing the door behind him
as he walked in. "Kirby, shut up or I'll modify the votes and kick
you off because I have a lot of underlings that could help arrange
fake reviews.."
The pink blob gulped as Fox shoved him aside and began
playing peaceful, classical music that actually sounded good -
especially taking into consideration the fact that there was
no singing.
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"Alright, onto today's announcements." Khan said, pulling
out his clipboard with the contest info on it. Things were
finally back the way they should be. Back to a PG rating. Curse
you for shooting the rating up, Dimitri!!!
"With spring around the corner, we've got to keep a close
lookout for that blasted little freakish imp.."
"Who?" Peach asked, along with several others, confused.
"CUPID!! The stupid little cherub brat that shoots people's
butts with heart-tipped arrows to make them fall in love!!" Khan
yelled, growling with frustration. "That little twerp has altered
and often ruined COUNTLESS contests because of his
treacherous interferance!! But ohhhh no! NOT THIS TIME!!
We're going to CATCH THAT CREEP IN THE ACT, TAKE
THOSE BLASTED ARROWS, SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS
THROAT THEN--"
"Khan, Khan!! You're sounding eerily like Dimitri
right about now!!" Roy pointed out. Khan gasped for air
as he calmed down.
"Yeah, yeah you're right, sorry about that, I'm cool, I'm
calm.. yeah.. better. So, on with more pressing issues. The
Council has decided not to end this contest."
Some cheered and some booed at this announcement.
"Plus, now that I'm back in office, we can finally have
another special guest!"
Everyone groaned. Oh yeah. Things were back to normal
alright.
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Khan walked off with a cackle.
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TIME: NOON
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After everyone ate breakfast, the door jingled as
someone unlocked it. Everyone stared towards the
door in suspense. Could it be Bill Clinton? Or
perhaps the Teletubbies? Or worse! Could it be
abnormally vile and should-be-killed Pewee
Herman!?

It was, well, almost as bad.
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A swarm of people ran in and sat down
in an audience stand that instantly appeared in
the living room as camera men and bodyguards
dashed in. THe audience, with Simdork, Blissey,
Smash Sage and Ice Dragoness mixed in among
them, chanted, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
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"Hello everyone and welcome to the
show tonight!" Jerry said as he walked in, the
crowd going wild with cheers.
The words "Smasher's Secrets" appeared
on the screen for a second before fading away.
"Today we'll be taking a look at the things
the Smash team didn't want you to find out. First,
Mario; true hero, or a creep that's cheating on his
girlfriend? Let's bring him out!"
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The audience chanted 'creep' over and over
again as Mario took a seat, before they suddenly
hushed as if Jerry had mighty power over them all.
"Alright Mario, you came here to tell us something?"
"Uhh.. I-a did?" Mario asked, confused.
"Yes, yes you did." Jerry said.
"... No I-a didn't."
"Yes you did."
"No, I-a didn't."
"Yes 'you-a' did!"
"No, I-a--"
"YOU CAME HERE TO TELL US SOMETHING AND
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING UNTILL YOU TELL US!! ARE
WE CLEAR!?" Jerry roared. Mario slowly nodded, panick-
stricken at the wrath of Jerry.

"Alright then. Since you won't speak, I'll speak
for you. Is it true, Mario, that you're having an
affair with a... Mushroom?!"
The audience gasped.
"What!? That's-a ridiculous-a!"
"Oh, is it? Let's bring out another guest
and see what they have to say.."
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A mushroom fell from the cieling onto the chair
next to Mario. Everyone in the audience began chanting
a word I'd rather not repeat on this 'fic to the mushroom.
"Now Miss Mushroom, what have you got to say?" Jerry
said. The mushroom just sat there. The audience began booing
and chanting once more. "Your silence tells me everything."
The saddest part was.. Jerry was actually serious about this.
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((IN THE STANDS))
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Link, Roy, Gannon, and Mewtwo huddled together in
the middle of the audience. "Did you read the reviews?"
Mewtwo asked the others. "Chicago-Kuni wants someone
voted off.."
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" Gannon asked, bewildered.
"Don't you read the review list?" sighed Link. "Kuni wants
that Smash Sage guy off."
"Oh, you mean the fox hater?"
"Yeah." Link replied, bashing Kirby away, who had been
evesdropping. "And you know what Khan always says.."
A wicked smile crossed Gannon's lips. "You mean, 'Give
the people what they want'?"
"Exactly. So here's what we do..."
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While the group set forth their dastardly plot,
Jerry continued with his show as Peach ran down and began
beating the snot out of the mushroom and Mario.
"Well, let's drag out our next guest." Jerry said as the
bodyguards pulled the fighters apart. Bowser stomped
in, dragging the bodyguards instead of the other way
around as he chortled, hurling the guards out of a window
and sitting in a chair, crushing it to the ground. "When am I
getting paid?"
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-(a/n: I DISCOVERED SOMETHING LATELY!
By adding little ----'s, it lets me put as much spacing
as I want!)
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------"Now Bowser, we brought you here so you
could confess your love to someone in the
audience."
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------"Crap, I smell Cupid's filthy presence.." Khan
said, scowling, getting odd looks from Ice Dragoness
and Simdork who were in front of him in the stands.
".. What?"
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-------"Confess my love?" Bowser said with
a snort. Jerry gave him a menacing look. Bowser
gulped. Jerry seemed to have hypnotic power over
people....
--------"... ARGH!!" Bowser said with a
roar as he dashed at a shocked Mario, turning
backwards and smashing Mario to the ground with
his shell. Bowser rolled off with a fiery cackle.
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------"It's happening.." Khan said, dashing off
and staring madly to and fro. "Where is the litte
devil!?"
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------Then Bowser ran into the stands and
kidnapped Peach, laughing as he dashed
off into the higher parts of the mansion with
Link, Mario, Luigi, Roy and Nana&Popo soon
to follow.
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------"Well.. that was... interesting. We'll
be back after this break."
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--------Meanwhile, a huge fight broke loose
in Bowser's hardened bedroom full of spikey
interior decorating. "Bring it on!!" Bowser
roared, thinking back to the old days of skills
he once knew. He cackled as Nana and Popo
tried to hit him over the head with hammers. The
King merely sidestepped and snaped his fingers,
causing a gigantic Big Boo to appear over the duo's
heads. They screamed in terror and fled out the window
as Big Boo vanished. Next up was Luigi and Mario. Link
was tired of it and decided to go downstairs, and after a while
Roy did too.
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-------Finally, Bowser snapped his fingers once again
as a huge rock spire shot up from beneath Luigi, shattering and sending
him flying into a wall. "Super Mario RPG, what a great
game.." Bowser said with a chuckle as a poison gas cloud
engulfed Mario, weakening him and knocking him to the ground.
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------Meanwhile...
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-------Roy hadn't shown up for the prank for some
reason. But Mewtwo, Gannon and Link decided to
carry on without him. "Alright, operation 'Pain' is
underway." Gannon said. Everyone gave him an
odd look. ".. What?"
-------"That is so lame. And you call yourself a
villian?" Link said with a smirk.
-------"Grrr... SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE--"
-------"Silence, you two, I need to concentrate.." Mewtwo
said, closing his eyes, a faint glow piercing his eyelids
as SmashSage was teleported from the reviewer's stands
to the middle of the smashers. "This one's for Chicago-Kuni.."
Gannon said, cracking his knuckles as the trio began
brutally mauling SmashSage.
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-------After the fight, Link walked off to a closet to get
his sword cleaner as a beaten Smash Sage crawled
back to the stands, covered in bandages and bruises.
He opened the door and saw, to his horror..
Roy and Zelda.
Kissing.
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-------"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Link shouted madly.
Khan dashed up and saw the situation, then looked
up and saw a little winged cherub above them. "CUPID!"
Khan shouted as he pulled out his sword and
chased Cupid across the mansion, trying his hardest
to stab the little cretin.
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-(Five Mintues Later)
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-----"And we're back." Jerry said. Just when he was
about to interview the audience, Bowser came smashing
in, with Mario and Luigi still trying to beat the snot out of
him. Then Link and Roy ran by, slashing eachother
furiously. Jerry sat down on a stool nearby.
-----"I end the show with one thing to say. That, no
matter how strong the fighter, love is a much stronger
force. And humans will always resort to violence."
He looked over and saw everyone chatting peacefully.
"I SAID HUMANS WILL ALWAYS RESORT TO VIOLENCE!
NOW START FIGHTING OR GRANNY GETS IT!!" he yelled,
pulling out a gun and aiming it at Ice Dragonness. Who was
quite mad at being called "granny"...
------So, while Roy kicked Link out, and while the other
smashers waged war, Ice Dragoness dashed down to Jerry
and began kicking his butt..
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-----End Round Eleven-------
-The Losers: Link and Nana&Popo-
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-(A/N: Sorry about not having your comments, Ice Dragoness,
but, well, the email got deleted.. Hope the beating jerry up thing
makes up for it. Newest Contest: Post the name of the one
Special attack Bowser did NOT use in the fight today from
the old Mario RPG game.. Anyone who gets it right will make
an appearance as always, and my writer's block is fading!!
See what romances take place next time on...)
SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE
Live in it and Win a Mansion!