[Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present.]

ZIM: Stupid, stupid dream. I should have known the Tallest would never betray me like that. These nightmares appear to feed on my deepest fears. Fortunately ZIM FEARS NOTHING!! NOTHING!!

[The lunch bell rings.]

ZIM: AAAAAAGH! [hides under the desk]

------

[Everyone piles into the lunchroom. At some tables, several students are stacked on top of each other. Zim goes to the front of the line and receives a bowl of... some sort of purplish liquid, very thick. The spoon bounces off of it twice before sinking in.]

ZIM: The humans must be amazingly hardy if they can survive on a diet of... this.

[The liquid extends a pseudopod and attempts to climb the spoon. Zim's eyes bulge and he spins around hurriedly to find a seat. On his way to a table, though, he collides with someone, sending trays flying.]

ZIM: Hey! How dare you impede the progress of Zim?!
GAZ: [gets up from the floor] Why don't you watch where you're going, you big -- uh --

[Zim spins around to attack, but when he looks at Gaz, he freezes where he stands. The two of them stand stock still, staring at each other's eyes.]

ZIM: ...Something is... different about you, human...
GAZ: Really?
ZIM: Somehow... suddenly, you seem so... much... less hideous...
GAZ: ...That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me...

[Slowly Zim and Gaz, still gazing (that's the only thing I can really call it) into each other's eyes, move closer to each other... closer... closer... until their lips meet in a soft kiss...]

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[We are treated to a sickening montage of sappy "date" scenes between Zim and Gaz. They frolic in the park (until Zim falls in the pond and starts screaming), ride on a ferris wheel, fly around in the Voot Cruiser and shoot random people, and eat from the same plate of spaghetti. Finally the two stand outside Gaz's house, and Zim leans in for another kiss...]

------

[Scene: Zim's home base.]

ZIM: [wakes up, screaming] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [pant, pant] Ick! Ewwww, human cooties! Yuck! [spits several times] GIR! Fetch the disinfectant soap! AND NO BACON!!

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Author's Note

Hey, cut me some slack. This is the closest I've ever come to writing a romantic scene.

I'd like to thank the five people who've reviewed this fic so far. Those five people are Penguin-Major Nora, PallaPalla (I'm flattered that you both think this story feels like a real episode), Invader Iggle (yes, completely tacos), SHiMMy123 (hee hee, torture is funny), and Heh Choke On This Puppy (who is in the running for the "Weirdest FF.net User Name" award). Thank you all! ^_^