[Zim, wearing his fiendishly clever human larva disguise, sits in his desk at skool. All students appear to be present.]

ZIM: Stupid, stupid dream. Getting involved with a human slime thing like that... These nightmares appear to feed on my deepest fears. Fortunately ZIM FEARS NOTHING!! NOTHING!!

[The lunch bell rings.]

ZIM: AAAAAAGH! [hides under the desk]

------

[Everyone piles into the lunchroom. At some tables, several students are stacked on top of each other. Zim goes to the front of the line and receives a bowl of... some sort of purplish liquid, very thick. The spoon bounces off of it twice before sinking in.]

ZIM: The humans must be amazingly hardy if they can survive on a diet of... this.

[The liquid extends a pseudopod and attempts to climb the spoon. Zim's eyes bulge and he spins around hurriedly to find a seat. On his way to a table, though, he collides with someone, sending trays flying.]

ZIM: Hey! How dare you impede the progress of Zim?!
DIB: [gets up from the floor] One of these days, Zim, you'll slip up and I -- ah --

[Zim spins around to attack, but when he looks at Dib, he freezes where he stands. The two of them stand stock still, staring at each other's eyes.]

ZIM: ...Something is... different about you, human...
DIB: Really?
ZIM: Somehow... suddenly, you seem so... much... less hideous...
DIB: ...That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me...

[Slowly Zim and Dib, still gazing (that's the only thing I can really call it) into each other's eyes, move closer to each other... closer... closer... until --]

------

[Scene: Zim's home base.]

ZIM: [wakes up, screaming] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [pant, pant] GIR! THE DISINFECTANT SOAP!!

[GIR runs up with a bar of disinfectant soap. Zim snatches it from his hands and immediately swallows it whole.]

ZIM: I am NEVER, EVER, EVER SLEEPING AGAIN!!

------------------

Author's Note

Why, yes. Yes, I am evil. Thank you for asking.

Incidentally, I hope I don't offend any ZADR fans with this chapter. Personally, I just don't get it. I also don't get the whole "yaoi" thing, but that's just me.

Wow, I got ten reviews on chapter 3! Comparing that to the five I got for the first two, I can only assume that you readers have come to your senses. ^_^ Since this chapter was kinda short, I will close by replying to all ten reviews.

Paradoxal Reality: [biiiiig grin] Y'know, when someone who's written three really great IZ fanfics gives you a good review, you kinda get a warm feeling inside. And she's an awesome artist too. In case you didn't guess, I'm happy. ^_____^ (subliminalmessagewritemoreweapon)
Peplos Kore: Well, what can I say but: "That... is a secret."
Invader Val: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........... Okay.
NeverAgainTruth: thanks
nny777slavelabor: Hey! I like my face. And I don't think it would taste good melted. But I'm glad you liked the story.
Nikkicub: "Zimmy Nightmare Movies in FULL SOUND AND COLOR!!!" That's what I should have called this story. ^_^
CherryCoke: Man, you flatter me! (If I wanted to die, I'd make some sort of pun about being "flatter". But I won't.) Thanks for the voluminous compliments!
Heh Choke On This Puppy: Hi! Nice to see ya again! And it's good to see that you got your head back.
Lyrique: I'm going to write more... RIGHTNOW! "Now?" No, you missed it.
Invader Sam: I'm glad that I could brighten your day. ^_^ I hope you'll stick around for the rest of the story.

And I'm spent. New chapter in a week or so, if Zim and Dib don't kill me for writing this one.