ZIM: Stupid, stupid, stupid nightmares. I HATE them! I go to skool, something weird happens, I get freaked out, and it starts over again!
GIR: Awww, don't be sad, master. I don't think this is a dream.
ZIM: Do you even know what a dream IS?
GIR: Ummm... Issa kind of fish, right?
ZIM: Stop talking, GIR.
[A long pause. Zim hiccups. Soap bubbles float out of his mouth.]
ZIM: Hmm... What if I just didn't GO to skool? If this IS a dream, then no one will care. If it isn't, well, they can survive without me for a single day. And there are some chores I've been meaning to do...
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[Close-up shot of a piece of paper that has on it what can only be a to-do list. Focus on one line, which is just a bunch of Irken gibberish. Subtitle: "POLISH SATELLITE RECEIVER"]
[Scene: the roof of Zim's house. A bungee cord stretching from the satellite dish to his neck, Zim stands on the roof and washes the dish with a bucket and brush. Time passes. Zim slips and falls to his death. NO! Not true! He slips and falls, bounces, then lands in the dish, coughing and hacking.]
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[Close-up on the to-do list. "POLISH SATELLITE RECEIVER" has been checked off. Next entry: "RECALIBRATE THE MAIN POWER GENERATOR"]
[Scene: the center of Zim's fortress. Zim is standing in front of a computer screen; said screen is embedded in the wall, next to a huge Tesla-coil-looking thing.]
ZIM: GIR! On! [a quiet whirring noise; Zim examines the screen] Hmm. Off! [the whirring stops] Interesting. On! [whir] Off! [no whir] I see. [Zim taps the screen several times.] Once more, then.
[Scene: the kitchen. GIR is standing next to the blender.]
ZIM: [off-screen] On! [GIR turns the blender on]
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[The to-do list. Next: "DEFEAT THE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IN A BATTLE OF WITS"]
[Scene: Zim stands in the middle of the living room.]
ZIM: Chicken!
COMPUTER: Egg.
ZIM: Chicken!
COMPUTER: Egg.
ZIM: Chicken!
COMPUTER: Egg.
ZIM: Apples!
COMPUTER: Oranges.
ZIM: Apples!
COMPUTER: Oranges.
ZIM: Apples!
COMPUTER: Oranges.
ZIM: Irresistable force!
COMPUTER: Immovable object.
ZIM: Irresistable force!
COMPUTER: Immovable object.
ZIM: Irresistable force!
COMPUTER: Immovable object.
ZIM: Buy!
COMPUTER: Sell.
ZIM: Buy!
COMPUTER: Sell.
ZIM: Buy!
COMPUTER: Sell.
ZIM: Zero!
COMPUTER: One.
ZIM: Zero!
COMPUTER: One.
ZIM: Zero!
COMPUTER: One.
ZIM: Drrrrrr...
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[The to-do list. The previous entry has been scratched off the list. Next: "PLAY WITH GIR"]
[Scene: the public park. Zim and GIR (both disguised) are running along the dirt path. Every few seconds Zim will pull a taco out of the bag he's holding and toss it to GIR, who leaps up into the air to catch and eat them.]
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[The to-do list. Next: "CHECK UP ON THE FRAMMISTAT PARTICLE GENERATOR"]
[Scene: Zim looks around one of the many underground rooms in his fortress with a confused look on his face. Time passes.]
ZIM: What the heck is a "Frammistat Particle Generator" anyway?
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[The to-do list. Next: "UPGRADE THE PAK"]
[Scene: Zim is making some modifications to his pak. A few seconds pass.]
ZIM: GIR, get me a wrench, would you?
GIR: Okay! [runs off]
------
[Scene: Zim's home base.]
ZIM: [wakes up, screaming] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [pant, pant] Oh, come on! I wasn't even scared!
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Author's Note
Yeah, Zim and Dib teamed up and killed me in retaliation for chapter four. I finally got better, though. ^_^() Keep reading for the final two chapters of this long-overdue-to-be-completed story! (Ten thousand bonus points to anyone who can identify the song I pulled Zim's argument with the computer from. I'll even give you the title as a hint: "a vs b".)
