Dream A Little Dream
"MOM!", a kid screamed running into the room.
Anya stopped kissing Xander. She quietly said to him, "Figures," with a sly grin on her face. She stood up and knelt next to Kiara. "What is it dear?"
"Nathan stole all my books!" she yelled on the verge of tears. Anya looked over to Xander. He raised his hands questioning what to do. "She stuck out her tongue at him, "Fine, let Mother handle this." She got up and kicked Xander as she passed.
"Hey!" he said laughing. Anya walked to Nathan's room. As she did this she was bewildered by all that was happening to her. One minute she was in the cave, the next she was married to Xander and had two kids. What made it stranger was that she was acting as if everything was normal. She couldn't quite explain the experience though. It wasn't like she was just present in this place while someone else did all the acting. She was actually doing these things and talking this way. It was what she wanted to do. It was as if this was her future self and she was witnessing how she acted. She searched her memories and found that she had new ones that she had never actually done before. She let her mind wander even further as she dealt with Nathan.
He had stolen her books again. Specifically the ones that had to do with Math. Yes, her daughter was a weird one. She was extremely intelligent for a 12 year old. She loved math and tried to learn more about it at all times. At the moment she was learning Geometry, and god forbid you interrupt her. Of course her brother knowing it would annoy her stole the books. He had a small behavioral problem that Xander said he would grow out of. Anya had no idea though never having been around small children. According to Xander all boys go through a small destructive phase when they were 8. She sighed and accepted what he said, as long as it didn't get too bad, I guess she could go with her husbands plan. At the door she tried to force Nathan to give Kiara her books back. Of course it didn't work. He was really big on sports at the moment, an idea occurred to Anya. "If you don't give your sister back her things, we will pull you out of T-Ball so fast your head will spin mister."
"Ah, MOM!!!!" he said reluctantly opening the door to his room. He gave his sister back several textbooks and she kicked him and ran down the hall into her room. "See! She kicked me, what are you going to do about that?" I think it was fair mister," she said patting his head. "Now please try not to steal your sisters things anymore. You know she hates it," she smiled at him, "have you finished your homework yet?"
"Yeah Mom," he said annoyed. Anya was shocked at what just happened. When she had remembered that her son was in baseball this year, she knew exactly how to get him to give Kiara back her books. In fact it was almost as if she was starting to gain direct control over her body. This scared Anya. At the moment it was easier to just go on auto pilot. If she suddenly gained control she wouldn't know how to act. Although she did solve the small dispute between her children. Xander came walking into the hallway interrupting her thoughts.
"Way to go Ahn, you got our son kicked."
"Well, he deserved it. He shouldn't have taken Kiaras stuff. Again."
"Well, I guess. But you know the kids are all busy in their rooms. What do you say, " he said winking at Anya. She smiled and accepted his advances.
*~*~*
Xander just lied there watching TV. He tried to get up, but nothing really happened. He just continued to lie there flipping through the channels. Anya would bring him a beer every hour and every time she entered, they would fight. Xander was horrified. This was all too familiar to him. It was exactly like the image he had seen of himself at his wedding. Xander struggled more to escape before the inevitable happened. But it was no use he was trapped. He tried to think of what to do. Instead though, he was bombarded with memories of a horrible past and marriage. Remembering all of the horrible events, Xander himself started to sink into despair. He was giving up, he knew what would come and he accepted it.
*~*~*
At Xanders touch, Anya felt good. She started to remember memories of this life. They had known exactly when Kiara was conceived. It was their honeymoon. After all that had gone wrong between them after the marriage, Xander and Anya managed to work it out about ten years later. They had found each other again. Anya was shocked. She had survived all those years of despair without him. She had always assumed she would end up dying from the pain, hence why she wanted D'Hoffryn to end it for her. She didn't fully understand and she started to cry. Something was different though, she was actually crying.
Xander stopped his advance in sudden concern for his wife, "Anya? What's wrong."
"Anya was in control of her body. She was no longer just a visitor. She debated telling him what had happened, but she didn't want to. She wanted to enjoy this moment. All her memories of pain were drowned out by all the happiness they had experienced. She wasn't hurt when he touched her anymore. Every time he had done so before, it had brought back the pain of him leaving her. Not here though. And she would revel in this happiness with the man she would always love. "It's nothing honey. I was just..., " she searched her memories, "I was just thinking of when Kiara was born. You were so happy and afraid. Scared you were going to drop her. I knew you were scared despite your brave face. I knew it the moment you cracked that joke about how I couldn't trade her in for more money."
"I could never fool you"
"No, never," she said sitting up. She pressed her lips to his.
*~*~*
When the next beer didn't come he was mad. "Anya!" he yelled. Xander was consumed by his bitter memories. He knew what he was doing was wrong but stopped fighting what he was doing. He knew what would come, and took that to prove that he was right in leaving Anya. His daughter walked in.
"Susan! Get your dad a beer," she turned at him.
"No Dad," she spit out the word Dad as if it was vile in her mouth. "I am not going to be like Mom, and contribute to becoming even more of a stinking loser than you already."
"Shut up you little brat. You're my daughter and you will do as I say. Now get me a beer."
"You're such a jerk. You know that. I can't believe Mom is still married to you. You know she hates you right. She regrets ever meeting you. She wishes that you would just shrivel up and die."
The words coming from his daughter stung pretty hard. Xander didn't know what to do. He was out of control. He tried to fight against it, but still couldn't do anything. He was once again pulled in by the bitter memories. "You know you were a mistake right! We never even wanted you. You were the evening that we forgot your mothers birth ccontrol."
Xander couldn't believe what he had just said to his own daughter. He tried to fight again. He could never be this evil, but here was the proof. These feeling he had were real. "My god!" she said with tears in her eyes, "I am glad Mom is chea..." she stopped suddenly. They stared at each other.
"What is your Mom doing? Where is she?" He yelled at his daughter, "Tell me you little..."
*~*~*
It was the next day. Anya was once again at the magic shop. Although it wasn't the old shop that it was before. Anya had upgraded the store considerably. She did great business now. She had even turned the store into a regional chain. Anya looked over the inventory and profit reports from the other 5 stores that had been established. She had been doing pretty well for herself. This was a good life here. A though that this life wasn't real popped into her mind and she shoved it aside. Acknowledging that wouldn't make her happy. This life would. That is until the cop came into the store.
She had never actually dealt with the police in her time here. She wasn't sure what she should be doing. She turned to Willow who was manning the register. Willow looked at her, "Don't worry Anya, I am sure he is just curious about the store." Anya sighed. Willow and Anya had become surprisingly good friends while Xander was gone. She understood a lot of what Anya was going through. In love and the dark side they both had to conquer. Anya walked around the counter heading towards the officer.
"Hi," she said tentatively, "what seems to be the problem?"
He nodded towards Anya. And opened a small flip pad. "Does an Anya Harris work here?" he said looking up from t he pad.
Anya frowned, "Yes, I am her. What's going on."
"Maybe we should sit down?" Anya walked over to the table and took a seat. "Mam, there has been an accident involving your sons and two children."
"What?"
"While he was taking them to school, they were in an accident. Your husband and soon were pronounced dead on the scene. Your daughter is in critical condition and has been taken to the hospital."
Anya was stunned. She didn't know what to do. She just sat there refusing to believe what she had just heard. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be true. Not Xander. He was taken away from her again. Along with her son. She stood up shakily.
The cop looked extremely sad at being the bearer of such sad news. "I'm sorry mam."
"I... I should have taken more pictures." Was all she could say. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't function. The pain was too great. Willow overhearing what was said ran to Anya's side. In willows grasp she started to cry. "Why? Why did this happen." Anya broke down even more not able to speak. Willow too was crying. But she managed to gain more control of herself, enough to bid the officer that she would help Anya and farewell. The cop left reluctantly not sure if he should stay or not.
Buffy came into the store seeing the cop leaving, "So is Anya finally being arrested for cheating on her taxes?" Buffy joked. Then she noticed Willows glare and Anya breaking down in tears. "Oh my god what's wrong?" As willow explained Buffy too sat down in despair.
Anya couldn't stop crying. She didn't know hat else to do, so she just surrendered to the pain that she felt. She vaguely remembered willow saying something about going to the hospital. Considering she was now there she assumed they had managed to load her into the car. The entire gang was here with her. Buffy, Angel, Willow, Wesley, and Fred. Anya wondered about Giles for a moment, but remembered that he had lost his life in the Buffy's final fight as the Slayer, before her strength was taken from her. Willow was talking to a doctor. It didn't look like he had any good news. She was right.
Willow came over and told Anya that the doctors were doing everything they could for Kiara, but she was still critical. None of her friends really knew what to say to her. They all just stood around her as if their presence would give her strength. Anya didn't feel it though. All she felt was despair. She had felt like this before. When Xander had refused to marry her the first time. That seemed to be a lifetime ago, the pain had been so much. But now it was even greater. They sat there for hours, waiting for news of Kiara, but none had come. Anya knew that she would die. Anya had lost all hope. She stood up to go to the bathroom. Several of her friends jumped up to help her but she waved them off. "Bathroom," was all she said as she started to walk down the hall. Her friends looked at each other and decided to let her go alone.
Anya entered the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot. She had stopped crying several hours ago. She had just ran out of tears, but her face had showed all that she had gone through. She wasn't sure what she would do after this could she still live a normal life. She did have her friends. They had actually gown close over the past years, but were they enough. Just then an old lady walked out of the stall. She had dropped her purse, "Oh dear," she said trying to kneel and pick up all the contents that had spilled out. Anya rushed over and picked it al up for here. "Thank you dear," she said patting Anya on the hand as she left the bathroom. Anya turned around and almost slipped on a bottle on the floor. She picked up and read the label. It was Raxonal. It must have been the old ladies medication. She rushed outside the bathroom to give it to her, but she was nowhere to be seen. Anya slowly walked back into the bathroom, while staring at the medication. She opened it to look at the capsules inside.
A thought occurred to her. This was morphine. If she took all of it, her death would be pretty painless. She thought about it, took a handful of pills and with a small pause, placed them all in her mouth.
*~*~*
Xander got off the couch as his daughter ran out of the house. His anger increased with his daughters words. He walked into the kitchen to grab another beer when his wife walked in. He faced her with an evil glare on his face. "Where have you been?
Anya paused staring back at him, "Nowhere," she finishing hanging her coat on.
"Well, you sure are dressed up like a slut for doing nothing." Xander was beginning to panic. The moment was coming. The more he fought against it, the more the anger built up. It was overpowering him. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop it, but he tried anyway.
Anya's face become stern. She was about to say something but didn't, hanging up her coat.
"What? Don't want to talk about how you've been spreading it all around town."
"You're wrong. I haven't..."
"Yes, you have, I know it. Our daughter told us. i bet she will turn out just like you too the little slut"
"Don't you dare talk about our daughter like that. You have no right to say those things to her."
"What afraid of the truth."
"How dare you. I think it is you that have problems facing the truth."
"You don't know what your talking about, crazy..."
"Am I? When was the last time you worked Xander. Had an actual job?" With that Xander turned his back to Anya. "Hell, when was the last time you left this house. All you do all day, every day, is lie around drinking beer. You're a waste of space. You know that right Xander. You think you are such a big man. You're only big in your weight. I'm leaving Xander. This the end. I am taking Susan and I am leaving this place and you. Both of us hate you Xander. You're a horrible, father. A horrible husband. A horrible human being. I can't believe I ever loved you.
Xander saw the pot on the stove. With Anya's last words he gripped the handle. The whole time Xander became even more desperate to stop himself from what he was about to do.
*~*~*
Anya closed her eyes trying to force herself to swallow. She started thinking of her past. She remembered her actual wedding with Xander. It was beautiful ceremony. Xander kept fidgeting back and forth in place. It turned out that Xander had needed to go to the bathroom the whole time. She then remembered his vows.
Anya, my love, light. We have been through a lot in these past years. Frankly I was surprised when you accepted me back into your life. After I had hurt you, I had resigned myself to live without you. What made it even worse was that it was my decision to call off the wedding. I didn't think I would survive ti at first, I felt so horrible at what I had done. But I just kept thinking of you, and how strong you had been after you became human. You're strength gave me strength. I fought for life because of you. I knew that no matter what happened, I would live my life for you. And look at us now. It worked out. We were lucky this time. But now that I have said my longwinded vows, I have to go tot he bathroom even more. Hopefully yours isn't as long as mine.
Her vows weren't. Anya just smiled and said I love you too.
Anya started to cry again. She spit out the pills into the sink. She couldn't believe what she had almost done. Xander believed in her strength. She couldn't die now. She had her whole life ahead of her. She kneeled on the floor trying to gain control of herself. She had to live her life without Xander and Nathan. She would have to find some way to do that. The she thought of Kiara. She wasn't dead. She couldn't be. Anya gathered all of her strength. Then she thought of Xander, and gathered even more strength. He would want her to be strong now. Xander would want her to continue living. She stood up and walked out of the bathroom. She had to find out what was happening with Kiara. She met her friends and they talked for a bit. They had clearly been worrying about her. She told them that she would make it with their help and they left the waiting room to seek out answers on what had happened to Kiara.
*~*~*
Xander gripped the pot and lifted it off the stove. He screamed and forced with all of his strength. He would not let this happen. All of a sudden Xander yelled. He was in control. He had stopped it. He looked down at the pot and all of her words came back to him. He was extremely pained, but had no urge to hit Anya. He realized then that he never would have that urge. He dropped the pan and fell to the floor. "I'm sorry, Anya. I'm sorry."
Anya just stood there. 'I'm sorry Anya," was all he could say. He couldn't believe he had been so weak. He had let his fears get the better of him on their wedding day. He did have those fears, but here was the first time he had realized they were completely baseless. He would never harm Anya in that way. He could never do something like that. How could he ever think he could be that mean.
*~*~*
Both Anya and Xander saw a large flash and they both collapsed onto the floor of the tunnel.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There was another flash.
"Dawn, you should really stop that." Buffy said. Dawn had found their old Polaroid camera stashed in the closet along with some film. She was furiously documenting Anya's new look, thinking it really worked for her.
"Oh come on Buffy. When Anya wakes up I think she will want to have pictures of this to see how cute her hair was. Now lift her up so I can get the back of her head."
"No, Dawn, I am not going to pose her for you."
"Why not? She did it to me when I was under The Knarls paralyzing poison."
Buffy smirked at that. She was about to go ahead and lift Anya up but before she could Anya's features went back to normal. "See! Look what you've done. Now she will have no idea what the back looked like."
"I am sure she will be able to manage from the pictures that you do have dawn. I am going to update Giles on the clothes changing."
"MOM!", a kid screamed running into the room.
Anya stopped kissing Xander. She quietly said to him, "Figures," with a sly grin on her face. She stood up and knelt next to Kiara. "What is it dear?"
"Nathan stole all my books!" she yelled on the verge of tears. Anya looked over to Xander. He raised his hands questioning what to do. "She stuck out her tongue at him, "Fine, let Mother handle this." She got up and kicked Xander as she passed.
"Hey!" he said laughing. Anya walked to Nathan's room. As she did this she was bewildered by all that was happening to her. One minute she was in the cave, the next she was married to Xander and had two kids. What made it stranger was that she was acting as if everything was normal. She couldn't quite explain the experience though. It wasn't like she was just present in this place while someone else did all the acting. She was actually doing these things and talking this way. It was what she wanted to do. It was as if this was her future self and she was witnessing how she acted. She searched her memories and found that she had new ones that she had never actually done before. She let her mind wander even further as she dealt with Nathan.
He had stolen her books again. Specifically the ones that had to do with Math. Yes, her daughter was a weird one. She was extremely intelligent for a 12 year old. She loved math and tried to learn more about it at all times. At the moment she was learning Geometry, and god forbid you interrupt her. Of course her brother knowing it would annoy her stole the books. He had a small behavioral problem that Xander said he would grow out of. Anya had no idea though never having been around small children. According to Xander all boys go through a small destructive phase when they were 8. She sighed and accepted what he said, as long as it didn't get too bad, I guess she could go with her husbands plan. At the door she tried to force Nathan to give Kiara her books back. Of course it didn't work. He was really big on sports at the moment, an idea occurred to Anya. "If you don't give your sister back her things, we will pull you out of T-Ball so fast your head will spin mister."
"Ah, MOM!!!!" he said reluctantly opening the door to his room. He gave his sister back several textbooks and she kicked him and ran down the hall into her room. "See! She kicked me, what are you going to do about that?" I think it was fair mister," she said patting his head. "Now please try not to steal your sisters things anymore. You know she hates it," she smiled at him, "have you finished your homework yet?"
"Yeah Mom," he said annoyed. Anya was shocked at what just happened. When she had remembered that her son was in baseball this year, she knew exactly how to get him to give Kiara back her books. In fact it was almost as if she was starting to gain direct control over her body. This scared Anya. At the moment it was easier to just go on auto pilot. If she suddenly gained control she wouldn't know how to act. Although she did solve the small dispute between her children. Xander came walking into the hallway interrupting her thoughts.
"Way to go Ahn, you got our son kicked."
"Well, he deserved it. He shouldn't have taken Kiaras stuff. Again."
"Well, I guess. But you know the kids are all busy in their rooms. What do you say, " he said winking at Anya. She smiled and accepted his advances.
*~*~*
Xander just lied there watching TV. He tried to get up, but nothing really happened. He just continued to lie there flipping through the channels. Anya would bring him a beer every hour and every time she entered, they would fight. Xander was horrified. This was all too familiar to him. It was exactly like the image he had seen of himself at his wedding. Xander struggled more to escape before the inevitable happened. But it was no use he was trapped. He tried to think of what to do. Instead though, he was bombarded with memories of a horrible past and marriage. Remembering all of the horrible events, Xander himself started to sink into despair. He was giving up, he knew what would come and he accepted it.
*~*~*
At Xanders touch, Anya felt good. She started to remember memories of this life. They had known exactly when Kiara was conceived. It was their honeymoon. After all that had gone wrong between them after the marriage, Xander and Anya managed to work it out about ten years later. They had found each other again. Anya was shocked. She had survived all those years of despair without him. She had always assumed she would end up dying from the pain, hence why she wanted D'Hoffryn to end it for her. She didn't fully understand and she started to cry. Something was different though, she was actually crying.
Xander stopped his advance in sudden concern for his wife, "Anya? What's wrong."
"Anya was in control of her body. She was no longer just a visitor. She debated telling him what had happened, but she didn't want to. She wanted to enjoy this moment. All her memories of pain were drowned out by all the happiness they had experienced. She wasn't hurt when he touched her anymore. Every time he had done so before, it had brought back the pain of him leaving her. Not here though. And she would revel in this happiness with the man she would always love. "It's nothing honey. I was just..., " she searched her memories, "I was just thinking of when Kiara was born. You were so happy and afraid. Scared you were going to drop her. I knew you were scared despite your brave face. I knew it the moment you cracked that joke about how I couldn't trade her in for more money."
"I could never fool you"
"No, never," she said sitting up. She pressed her lips to his.
*~*~*
When the next beer didn't come he was mad. "Anya!" he yelled. Xander was consumed by his bitter memories. He knew what he was doing was wrong but stopped fighting what he was doing. He knew what would come, and took that to prove that he was right in leaving Anya. His daughter walked in.
"Susan! Get your dad a beer," she turned at him.
"No Dad," she spit out the word Dad as if it was vile in her mouth. "I am not going to be like Mom, and contribute to becoming even more of a stinking loser than you already."
"Shut up you little brat. You're my daughter and you will do as I say. Now get me a beer."
"You're such a jerk. You know that. I can't believe Mom is still married to you. You know she hates you right. She regrets ever meeting you. She wishes that you would just shrivel up and die."
The words coming from his daughter stung pretty hard. Xander didn't know what to do. He was out of control. He tried to fight against it, but still couldn't do anything. He was once again pulled in by the bitter memories. "You know you were a mistake right! We never even wanted you. You were the evening that we forgot your mothers birth ccontrol."
Xander couldn't believe what he had just said to his own daughter. He tried to fight again. He could never be this evil, but here was the proof. These feeling he had were real. "My god!" she said with tears in her eyes, "I am glad Mom is chea..." she stopped suddenly. They stared at each other.
"What is your Mom doing? Where is she?" He yelled at his daughter, "Tell me you little..."
*~*~*
It was the next day. Anya was once again at the magic shop. Although it wasn't the old shop that it was before. Anya had upgraded the store considerably. She did great business now. She had even turned the store into a regional chain. Anya looked over the inventory and profit reports from the other 5 stores that had been established. She had been doing pretty well for herself. This was a good life here. A though that this life wasn't real popped into her mind and she shoved it aside. Acknowledging that wouldn't make her happy. This life would. That is until the cop came into the store.
She had never actually dealt with the police in her time here. She wasn't sure what she should be doing. She turned to Willow who was manning the register. Willow looked at her, "Don't worry Anya, I am sure he is just curious about the store." Anya sighed. Willow and Anya had become surprisingly good friends while Xander was gone. She understood a lot of what Anya was going through. In love and the dark side they both had to conquer. Anya walked around the counter heading towards the officer.
"Hi," she said tentatively, "what seems to be the problem?"
He nodded towards Anya. And opened a small flip pad. "Does an Anya Harris work here?" he said looking up from t he pad.
Anya frowned, "Yes, I am her. What's going on."
"Maybe we should sit down?" Anya walked over to the table and took a seat. "Mam, there has been an accident involving your sons and two children."
"What?"
"While he was taking them to school, they were in an accident. Your husband and soon were pronounced dead on the scene. Your daughter is in critical condition and has been taken to the hospital."
Anya was stunned. She didn't know what to do. She just sat there refusing to believe what she had just heard. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be true. Not Xander. He was taken away from her again. Along with her son. She stood up shakily.
The cop looked extremely sad at being the bearer of such sad news. "I'm sorry mam."
"I... I should have taken more pictures." Was all she could say. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't function. The pain was too great. Willow overhearing what was said ran to Anya's side. In willows grasp she started to cry. "Why? Why did this happen." Anya broke down even more not able to speak. Willow too was crying. But she managed to gain more control of herself, enough to bid the officer that she would help Anya and farewell. The cop left reluctantly not sure if he should stay or not.
Buffy came into the store seeing the cop leaving, "So is Anya finally being arrested for cheating on her taxes?" Buffy joked. Then she noticed Willows glare and Anya breaking down in tears. "Oh my god what's wrong?" As willow explained Buffy too sat down in despair.
Anya couldn't stop crying. She didn't know hat else to do, so she just surrendered to the pain that she felt. She vaguely remembered willow saying something about going to the hospital. Considering she was now there she assumed they had managed to load her into the car. The entire gang was here with her. Buffy, Angel, Willow, Wesley, and Fred. Anya wondered about Giles for a moment, but remembered that he had lost his life in the Buffy's final fight as the Slayer, before her strength was taken from her. Willow was talking to a doctor. It didn't look like he had any good news. She was right.
Willow came over and told Anya that the doctors were doing everything they could for Kiara, but she was still critical. None of her friends really knew what to say to her. They all just stood around her as if their presence would give her strength. Anya didn't feel it though. All she felt was despair. She had felt like this before. When Xander had refused to marry her the first time. That seemed to be a lifetime ago, the pain had been so much. But now it was even greater. They sat there for hours, waiting for news of Kiara, but none had come. Anya knew that she would die. Anya had lost all hope. She stood up to go to the bathroom. Several of her friends jumped up to help her but she waved them off. "Bathroom," was all she said as she started to walk down the hall. Her friends looked at each other and decided to let her go alone.
Anya entered the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot. She had stopped crying several hours ago. She had just ran out of tears, but her face had showed all that she had gone through. She wasn't sure what she would do after this could she still live a normal life. She did have her friends. They had actually gown close over the past years, but were they enough. Just then an old lady walked out of the stall. She had dropped her purse, "Oh dear," she said trying to kneel and pick up all the contents that had spilled out. Anya rushed over and picked it al up for here. "Thank you dear," she said patting Anya on the hand as she left the bathroom. Anya turned around and almost slipped on a bottle on the floor. She picked up and read the label. It was Raxonal. It must have been the old ladies medication. She rushed outside the bathroom to give it to her, but she was nowhere to be seen. Anya slowly walked back into the bathroom, while staring at the medication. She opened it to look at the capsules inside.
A thought occurred to her. This was morphine. If she took all of it, her death would be pretty painless. She thought about it, took a handful of pills and with a small pause, placed them all in her mouth.
*~*~*
Xander got off the couch as his daughter ran out of the house. His anger increased with his daughters words. He walked into the kitchen to grab another beer when his wife walked in. He faced her with an evil glare on his face. "Where have you been?
Anya paused staring back at him, "Nowhere," she finishing hanging her coat on.
"Well, you sure are dressed up like a slut for doing nothing." Xander was beginning to panic. The moment was coming. The more he fought against it, the more the anger built up. It was overpowering him. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop it, but he tried anyway.
Anya's face become stern. She was about to say something but didn't, hanging up her coat.
"What? Don't want to talk about how you've been spreading it all around town."
"You're wrong. I haven't..."
"Yes, you have, I know it. Our daughter told us. i bet she will turn out just like you too the little slut"
"Don't you dare talk about our daughter like that. You have no right to say those things to her."
"What afraid of the truth."
"How dare you. I think it is you that have problems facing the truth."
"You don't know what your talking about, crazy..."
"Am I? When was the last time you worked Xander. Had an actual job?" With that Xander turned his back to Anya. "Hell, when was the last time you left this house. All you do all day, every day, is lie around drinking beer. You're a waste of space. You know that right Xander. You think you are such a big man. You're only big in your weight. I'm leaving Xander. This the end. I am taking Susan and I am leaving this place and you. Both of us hate you Xander. You're a horrible, father. A horrible husband. A horrible human being. I can't believe I ever loved you.
Xander saw the pot on the stove. With Anya's last words he gripped the handle. The whole time Xander became even more desperate to stop himself from what he was about to do.
*~*~*
Anya closed her eyes trying to force herself to swallow. She started thinking of her past. She remembered her actual wedding with Xander. It was beautiful ceremony. Xander kept fidgeting back and forth in place. It turned out that Xander had needed to go to the bathroom the whole time. She then remembered his vows.
Anya, my love, light. We have been through a lot in these past years. Frankly I was surprised when you accepted me back into your life. After I had hurt you, I had resigned myself to live without you. What made it even worse was that it was my decision to call off the wedding. I didn't think I would survive ti at first, I felt so horrible at what I had done. But I just kept thinking of you, and how strong you had been after you became human. You're strength gave me strength. I fought for life because of you. I knew that no matter what happened, I would live my life for you. And look at us now. It worked out. We were lucky this time. But now that I have said my longwinded vows, I have to go tot he bathroom even more. Hopefully yours isn't as long as mine.
Her vows weren't. Anya just smiled and said I love you too.
Anya started to cry again. She spit out the pills into the sink. She couldn't believe what she had almost done. Xander believed in her strength. She couldn't die now. She had her whole life ahead of her. She kneeled on the floor trying to gain control of herself. She had to live her life without Xander and Nathan. She would have to find some way to do that. The she thought of Kiara. She wasn't dead. She couldn't be. Anya gathered all of her strength. Then she thought of Xander, and gathered even more strength. He would want her to be strong now. Xander would want her to continue living. She stood up and walked out of the bathroom. She had to find out what was happening with Kiara. She met her friends and they talked for a bit. They had clearly been worrying about her. She told them that she would make it with their help and they left the waiting room to seek out answers on what had happened to Kiara.
*~*~*
Xander gripped the pot and lifted it off the stove. He screamed and forced with all of his strength. He would not let this happen. All of a sudden Xander yelled. He was in control. He had stopped it. He looked down at the pot and all of her words came back to him. He was extremely pained, but had no urge to hit Anya. He realized then that he never would have that urge. He dropped the pan and fell to the floor. "I'm sorry, Anya. I'm sorry."
Anya just stood there. 'I'm sorry Anya," was all he could say. He couldn't believe he had been so weak. He had let his fears get the better of him on their wedding day. He did have those fears, but here was the first time he had realized they were completely baseless. He would never harm Anya in that way. He could never do something like that. How could he ever think he could be that mean.
*~*~*
Both Anya and Xander saw a large flash and they both collapsed onto the floor of the tunnel.
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There was another flash.
"Dawn, you should really stop that." Buffy said. Dawn had found their old Polaroid camera stashed in the closet along with some film. She was furiously documenting Anya's new look, thinking it really worked for her.
"Oh come on Buffy. When Anya wakes up I think she will want to have pictures of this to see how cute her hair was. Now lift her up so I can get the back of her head."
"No, Dawn, I am not going to pose her for you."
"Why not? She did it to me when I was under The Knarls paralyzing poison."
Buffy smirked at that. She was about to go ahead and lift Anya up but before she could Anya's features went back to normal. "See! Look what you've done. Now she will have no idea what the back looked like."
"I am sure she will be able to manage from the pictures that you do have dawn. I am going to update Giles on the clothes changing."
