Disclaimer: We don't own the Lord of the Rings characters/places (J.R.R.
Tolkien?? Well, not us!!) nor do we own the CATS characters/songs/places
(Andrew Lloyd Webber and T.S. Elliot, even if he is dead), no matter how
much we wish we did. DON'T YOU DARE SUE!!!
The Lost Race of Middle Earth
Asparagus Altar-Ego, Carbuckettycue, and Avijaren
Part 1:
The What?
"Why is it always a perilous wood?" Gimli roared. All three of the travelers could feel the trees around them becoming tense as strangers entered.
"I suppose, Dwarf, that you'd want to be back in Moria?" Legolas asked. Feeling fairly comfortable in the Forest of Fangorn they had just entered.
"I suppose you just had to bring that up, didn't you, Elf!" Gimli snapped, gripping his axe tighter with both hands. The next moment their leader, Aragorn, had drawn his sword in a flash and was looking intensely through the trees.
"Quiet, there is something out there," he whispered.
Blurs of brown, white, and gray jumped out, slamming Aragorn between them, rendering him unconscious.
"Did Aragorn just get taken by surprise?" Gimli asked in awe.
"Amazing indeed," Legolas nodded in agreement.
"Tumble, I think we're in trouble," one of the attackers said worriedly, noticing on arrow pointing at his chest. Legolas kept his hand steady as he started to question him.
"Who are you?" he asked carefully, wishing not to insult them.'
"I'm Pouncival, and this is Tumblebrutus," the one who had spoke answered.
"What are you?" Gimli asked them the not question.
"We're Jellicle cats," Tumble replied, thinking it was an unintelligent question.
"Fine, what's a Jellicle cat?" Legolas asked, not wishing to spend all their daylight on one question.
A whole chorus of. Jellicle cats, popped up amidst the foliage and rocks, "What's a Jellicle cat, what's a Jellicle cat?" They lined up, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, and the other nine, and began to recite:
"The naming of cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your holiday games, You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter, When I tell you a cat must have three different names.
First of all there's the name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James, Such as Victor or Jonathon, George or Bill Bailey, All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names, if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames, Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter, But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's peculiar and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina or else Jellylorum, Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over, And that is the name that you never would guess, The name that no human research can discover, But the cat himself knows and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason I tell you is always the same, His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation, Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought, of his name.
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable, Deep and inscrutable, Singular name.name.name.name."
Gimli and Legolas stared at them, "Ok, that makes no sense," Legolas said flatly.
And Aragorn awoke, surrounded by the Jellicle cats.
Aragorn sits up, "What the?"
"Hello Aragorn, do you by any chance happen to know what a Jellicle cat is?"
"I'm not sure, but I'd wager they're Jellicle cats," Aragorn responded, gesturing to the 'kitten choir', but he was still surprised and confused from his attack and temporary black out.
"There's a man over there, with a look of surprise, As much as to say well know how about that,"
A mixed brown cat named Asparagus joined the kitty choir; he looked to be older than the others were. He was followed closely by a silver and black tiger stripe, later to be revealed as Munkustrap.
"Do I actually see, with my own very eyes, A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat."
He sang, staring at Aragorn firstly and then at Legolas and Gimli.
Legolas and Gimli looked at each other skeptically, "Men!" Legolas cried at Munkustrap, "That's like us calling you dogs!"
Munkustrap's eyes widened and he flipped out, "That's. just. not. RIGHT!"
"That's. exactly. how. WE. feel!" Legolas retorted.
Munkustrap paused then raised one, um. paw, "Oh."
Pouncival, still angry about the 'What are you?' from Gimli asked, "Well then, what are you?"
"I, am a dwarf," Gimli pointed to himself with his axe, "and this, is an elf." He gestured at Legolas.
"No explanations available at the moment," Legolas inserted quickly, before Pounce could say more.
Aragorn sighed and leaned back on his palms, looking about. Suddenly his eyes widened, "What's that monstrosity?!"
The white kitten, Victoria, followed his line of sight, "Oh!" she laughed, "That's just the old Ford."
Man, elf, and dwarf stared at her, "The what?!!"
"The car!" Two more kittens chorused.
"We still don't understand," said Legolas, "the old what?"
"The automobile!"
Aragorn sighed and put his head in his hands, "What's an automobile?"
"A monstrosity that moves if you turn the key," drawled an attitude filled voice, "like Chitty-chitty-bang-bang." Aragorn looked up at a large cat with a mane and spiked collar.
Aragorn just slowly shook his head, "What's Chitty-chitty-bang-bang? And who the heck are you?"
"I'm the Rum Tum Tugger, not quite so at you service. Chitty-chitty-bang- bang's an old story."
Legolas and Gimli walked toward the 'car' and Aragorn quickly followed. When they reached it, they found themselves standing in the midst of many piles of junk.
"Welcome to the junkyard," Munkustrap told them brightly, "I'm Munkustrap, my father's the leader of the Jellicles, Old Deuteronomy."
"I'm Aragorn, a Ranger," Aragorn smiled at him.
Munkustrap leaned forward and pointed at Aragorn's sword, "Hey, what's that?"
To be continued..
The Lost Race of Middle Earth
Asparagus Altar-Ego, Carbuckettycue, and Avijaren
Part 1:
The What?
"Why is it always a perilous wood?" Gimli roared. All three of the travelers could feel the trees around them becoming tense as strangers entered.
"I suppose, Dwarf, that you'd want to be back in Moria?" Legolas asked. Feeling fairly comfortable in the Forest of Fangorn they had just entered.
"I suppose you just had to bring that up, didn't you, Elf!" Gimli snapped, gripping his axe tighter with both hands. The next moment their leader, Aragorn, had drawn his sword in a flash and was looking intensely through the trees.
"Quiet, there is something out there," he whispered.
Blurs of brown, white, and gray jumped out, slamming Aragorn between them, rendering him unconscious.
"Did Aragorn just get taken by surprise?" Gimli asked in awe.
"Amazing indeed," Legolas nodded in agreement.
"Tumble, I think we're in trouble," one of the attackers said worriedly, noticing on arrow pointing at his chest. Legolas kept his hand steady as he started to question him.
"Who are you?" he asked carefully, wishing not to insult them.'
"I'm Pouncival, and this is Tumblebrutus," the one who had spoke answered.
"What are you?" Gimli asked them the not question.
"We're Jellicle cats," Tumble replied, thinking it was an unintelligent question.
"Fine, what's a Jellicle cat?" Legolas asked, not wishing to spend all their daylight on one question.
A whole chorus of. Jellicle cats, popped up amidst the foliage and rocks, "What's a Jellicle cat, what's a Jellicle cat?" They lined up, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, and the other nine, and began to recite:
"The naming of cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your holiday games, You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter, When I tell you a cat must have three different names.
First of all there's the name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James, Such as Victor or Jonathon, George or Bill Bailey, All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names, if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames, Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter, But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's peculiar and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina or else Jellylorum, Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over, And that is the name that you never would guess, The name that no human research can discover, But the cat himself knows and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason I tell you is always the same, His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation, Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought, of his name.
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable, Deep and inscrutable, Singular name.name.name.name."
Gimli and Legolas stared at them, "Ok, that makes no sense," Legolas said flatly.
And Aragorn awoke, surrounded by the Jellicle cats.
Aragorn sits up, "What the?"
"Hello Aragorn, do you by any chance happen to know what a Jellicle cat is?"
"I'm not sure, but I'd wager they're Jellicle cats," Aragorn responded, gesturing to the 'kitten choir', but he was still surprised and confused from his attack and temporary black out.
"There's a man over there, with a look of surprise, As much as to say well know how about that,"
A mixed brown cat named Asparagus joined the kitty choir; he looked to be older than the others were. He was followed closely by a silver and black tiger stripe, later to be revealed as Munkustrap.
"Do I actually see, with my own very eyes, A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat."
He sang, staring at Aragorn firstly and then at Legolas and Gimli.
Legolas and Gimli looked at each other skeptically, "Men!" Legolas cried at Munkustrap, "That's like us calling you dogs!"
Munkustrap's eyes widened and he flipped out, "That's. just. not. RIGHT!"
"That's. exactly. how. WE. feel!" Legolas retorted.
Munkustrap paused then raised one, um. paw, "Oh."
Pouncival, still angry about the 'What are you?' from Gimli asked, "Well then, what are you?"
"I, am a dwarf," Gimli pointed to himself with his axe, "and this, is an elf." He gestured at Legolas.
"No explanations available at the moment," Legolas inserted quickly, before Pounce could say more.
Aragorn sighed and leaned back on his palms, looking about. Suddenly his eyes widened, "What's that monstrosity?!"
The white kitten, Victoria, followed his line of sight, "Oh!" she laughed, "That's just the old Ford."
Man, elf, and dwarf stared at her, "The what?!!"
"The car!" Two more kittens chorused.
"We still don't understand," said Legolas, "the old what?"
"The automobile!"
Aragorn sighed and put his head in his hands, "What's an automobile?"
"A monstrosity that moves if you turn the key," drawled an attitude filled voice, "like Chitty-chitty-bang-bang." Aragorn looked up at a large cat with a mane and spiked collar.
Aragorn just slowly shook his head, "What's Chitty-chitty-bang-bang? And who the heck are you?"
"I'm the Rum Tum Tugger, not quite so at you service. Chitty-chitty-bang- bang's an old story."
Legolas and Gimli walked toward the 'car' and Aragorn quickly followed. When they reached it, they found themselves standing in the midst of many piles of junk.
"Welcome to the junkyard," Munkustrap told them brightly, "I'm Munkustrap, my father's the leader of the Jellicles, Old Deuteronomy."
"I'm Aragorn, a Ranger," Aragorn smiled at him.
Munkustrap leaned forward and pointed at Aragorn's sword, "Hey, what's that?"
To be continued..
