~A Once and Again Series~
The Way We Were
Hallelujah! LOL... thanks if you've read this far!
Chapter 3//Everybody Always says I'm Sorry
"Jake! Where are you?" Lily cried into the phone. "You're supposed to be HERE, NOW!"
Jake's voice came to her through light static, "I'm sorry."
[[Lily - He's always sorry.]]
Lily waited for him to explain himself.
"I got hung up on other stuff. I don't think I'll make it."
Lily turned around, making sure neither of her daughters was nearby. "Jake, I have plans for tonight; you can't do this to me! You promised you'd take the girls."
"I know, I know.. and I would if I could, really, Lil."
Lily sighed into the phone, "I'm sick of your empty promises, Jake."
"Hey, I'm sorry, but I can't make it tonight, okay?!"
Lily pulled the phone away and shook her head at it in frustration and then replaced it by her mouth, "Oh, yeah, what's her name tonight?"
Silence from Jake's end and Lily knew she had her soon-to-be ex- husband. He was canceling on her because of some floozy he had picked up. Lily had had enough of this from him during their marriage, but now he was letting it affect their children. He was letting down his daughters because of his need for a good time. "Lil.." Jake's voice said softly.
[[Lily - I know divorcing Jake is the right thing to do. But, even now, that we're separated, and I know that he's let me down in the past, and I know he'll let me down in the future.. even though I've come to expect that from him, it's still hard. I'm sick of it, and his excuses, and his apologies. I just want to NOT be disappointed by him for once.]]
"Bye, Jake." Lily hung up the phone. She waited a moment, forcing a cheery smile on her face. "Guess what girls!" She entered the living room where her daughters were watching TV.
"What?" Zoe asked excitedly. Grace didn't even turn her head from the screen.
"Your dad isn't coming tonight, so you get to come with me." Lily told them. Grace turned and Lily was upset by the sad, but knowing look on Grace's face. Lily saw with disdain that Grace was becoming used to being disappointed by her father.
"To the bookstore?" Zoe asked.
"Uh, no, actually I was going to go to the movies."
"You were going to go to the movies by yourself?" Grace asked, knowing the answer already.
"No, I was going to go with.. with Rick, but that got canceled." Lily told them.
"Oooo.. what movie are we going to?" Zoe asked, jumping off of the sofa.
"I don't know.. Grace, why don't you go pick one from the newspaper." Lily waited until her daughters had gone in the kitchen to search through the newspaper and then walked up the stairs with the phone. She dialed Rick's number by heart.
"Hello?" Rick greeted her on the second ring.
"Hi." Lily said nervously.
[[Lily - As much as I hate to hear 'I'm sorry', because I know when someone says it, it only means that they are going to be disappointing me.. I hate to say it even more, because then I know that I'm the one who's failing THEM.]]
"I'm sorry, Rick. Jake canceled on me, and I promised Grace I wouldn't make her baby-sit Zoe more than once a week.. so, I can't go to the movies tonight with you."
"Oh, well, another night, then," Rick said.
Lily felt even worse when she heard how nice he was taking it. "I'm sorry. Yeah, we'll get together again soon, okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
[[Lily - It hurts to have disappointed someone..*sigh*.. because it's a role I know all too well.]]
* * *
"Jen!"
Jennifer turned as she heard Eli, but didn't slow down. Eli picked up his pace and caught up to his girlfriend in the hallway. The bell was about to ring for first classes, but Eli had to talk to her. After what happened the other night Jen had been avoiding him.
"Why are you doing this?" Eli asked as Jennifer looked at him. Eli guided her out of the middle of the hallway and they leaned against the lockers. "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm sorry, Eli." Jen looked uncomfortably around them. "I've just been.. thinking."
"Is this about what happened, because I'm sorry." Eli said.
[[Eli - I've never been good at apologies. I think it's because I feel like I HAVE to say 'I'm sorry', even if I don't mean it. Girls expect you to apologize.. so, I do.]]
"We can't talk about THAT, here," Jen said uneasily. "Let's go somewhere after school.. I have my mom's car."
"Alright," Eli said, happy that the air had been cleared between them. He leaned in to kiss Jen, but she pulled back. Maybe things weren't so clear after all. Eli looked at her in confusion. "I'm sorry."
[[Eli - There I go, again.. I don't understand what I should be sorry for, but I just feel like I have to say it.]]
"We'll talk, later, okay?" Jen whispered. Eli watched her go.
* * *
"So, are she and Kevin going out now?" Ashley asked Grace at lunch that day. They were looking over at the jock table, where Julie was sitting today with Kevin.
"Well, they're having sex.." Grace replied, distracted by the site of Eli sitting at the jock table without Jennifer.
"So, that doesn't mean anything! We all know Julie's a little slutty!" Sarah said, and grimaced. "I mean, what about that guy, Derek, who she slept with while on vacation in Florida.. she didn't even know him!"
Grace just shrugged, she didn't feel like playing the game of rag on the friend who's not here.. they played that game too many times.
"I'm going to go," Grace said, standing up. The other two girls looked at her questioningly. "I've got to go to my locker," Grace explained, but really she just wanted to get out of that atmosphere. She had been realizing lately how rude and petty her friends were. How they always talked crap about each other behind each other's backs. Grace had grown sick of it.
Grace walked away from the table, and left the lunch room, not caring that now her two close friends were most likely talking trash about HER. She walked down the hall and to her locker, pulling it open, but just standing in front of it, without having anything to do.
She heard sounds coming down the hall and began pulling books of the shelf, pretending to look busy.
"I'll see you later, man, okay!" A male voice called.
"Alright!" Another voice called.. a more familiar voice. Grace began slowly putting the books away, very aware of the sound of Eli coming down the hall. She heard him walk past her, and breathed a sigh of relief, but then his feet stopped and she heard him moving back in her direction.
"Grace?"
Grace dropped the final books back on her shelf, swung the locker closed and faced Eli. "Oh, hi."
Eli grinned an easy smile and Grace found herself smiling back.
"I'm sorry about the carnival," Eli said, "I didn't mean to desert you like that."
[[Eli - does that count as another 'Sorry'? It didn't seem like a 'sorry'.. it felt honest.]]
Grace shrugged, "I kind of ending up leaving the booth myself.."
"So, I heard. Our empty booth was the most popular.. free popcorn for everyone!" Eli joked.
Grace laughed, "Yeah, well, we made enough of it."
Eli laughed too, and they both quieted at the same instant. They looked at each other, carefully.
"It was fun, working on the signs, and at the booth.." Eli said finally.
Grace nodded in agreement. She couldn't believe she was having a conversation with Eli right here, right now.
The bell rang, ending the lunch period. "I should go," They both said at the same time. They smiled.
"Uh, yeah," Eli scratched his forehead lightly with his hand and looked back up at her, "I'll see you around."
"Yeah.. bye." Grace watched him go, in ecstasy.
* * *
"I'm sorry, Eli.. I just don't feel right about us, anymore," Jennifer said after school that day as they sat in her mother's car, parked just across the street from Eli's house.
[[Eli - She's sorry? Is she really sorry.. or does she only feel the need to say 'sorry'?]]
"So, it's over?" Eli asked.
"Yeah," Jen said nervously, waiting for him to get angry at her.
"Is this because I wanted to have sex with you?" Eli asked, not angry yet, no, just disappointed.
"No, no.. I'm just not ready for this, for us, Eli." Jennifer turned her small pixie face away from him, and said quietly, "I just don't think I love you."
Eli was surprised at that. "But you said.."
Jen turned back, her eyes filled with tears, "I know! I just.. you told me you loved me, and I felt like I HAD to say it back, you know? I thought I might mean it, but now I don't think that's true.."
"Alright." Eli said unhappily.
"What?" Jen asked, confused.
"Alright, we're over. That's what you want, so we're done.."
Jennifer astonished him even more by breaking down into sobs, "Don't you even care about me?"
"What the hell, Jen? You're the one breaking up with me!" Eli said, frustrated, beginning to get angry.
"But, you don't even care! You're supposed to care!" Jen said between her tears. She dried her face and hit the unlock button on the car doors. "Just go!"
Eli opened the door, and began to make his escape, but once again felt the need to say the words, "I'm sorry."
"No, you're not." Jennifer said calmly, and surely. Eli got out of the car and shut the door and watched his ex-girlfriend drive away.
[[Eli - She's right.. I wasn't sorry..]]
* * *
The Way We Were
Hallelujah! LOL... thanks if you've read this far!
Chapter 3//Everybody Always says I'm Sorry
"Jake! Where are you?" Lily cried into the phone. "You're supposed to be HERE, NOW!"
Jake's voice came to her through light static, "I'm sorry."
[[Lily - He's always sorry.]]
Lily waited for him to explain himself.
"I got hung up on other stuff. I don't think I'll make it."
Lily turned around, making sure neither of her daughters was nearby. "Jake, I have plans for tonight; you can't do this to me! You promised you'd take the girls."
"I know, I know.. and I would if I could, really, Lil."
Lily sighed into the phone, "I'm sick of your empty promises, Jake."
"Hey, I'm sorry, but I can't make it tonight, okay?!"
Lily pulled the phone away and shook her head at it in frustration and then replaced it by her mouth, "Oh, yeah, what's her name tonight?"
Silence from Jake's end and Lily knew she had her soon-to-be ex- husband. He was canceling on her because of some floozy he had picked up. Lily had had enough of this from him during their marriage, but now he was letting it affect their children. He was letting down his daughters because of his need for a good time. "Lil.." Jake's voice said softly.
[[Lily - I know divorcing Jake is the right thing to do. But, even now, that we're separated, and I know that he's let me down in the past, and I know he'll let me down in the future.. even though I've come to expect that from him, it's still hard. I'm sick of it, and his excuses, and his apologies. I just want to NOT be disappointed by him for once.]]
"Bye, Jake." Lily hung up the phone. She waited a moment, forcing a cheery smile on her face. "Guess what girls!" She entered the living room where her daughters were watching TV.
"What?" Zoe asked excitedly. Grace didn't even turn her head from the screen.
"Your dad isn't coming tonight, so you get to come with me." Lily told them. Grace turned and Lily was upset by the sad, but knowing look on Grace's face. Lily saw with disdain that Grace was becoming used to being disappointed by her father.
"To the bookstore?" Zoe asked.
"Uh, no, actually I was going to go to the movies."
"You were going to go to the movies by yourself?" Grace asked, knowing the answer already.
"No, I was going to go with.. with Rick, but that got canceled." Lily told them.
"Oooo.. what movie are we going to?" Zoe asked, jumping off of the sofa.
"I don't know.. Grace, why don't you go pick one from the newspaper." Lily waited until her daughters had gone in the kitchen to search through the newspaper and then walked up the stairs with the phone. She dialed Rick's number by heart.
"Hello?" Rick greeted her on the second ring.
"Hi." Lily said nervously.
[[Lily - As much as I hate to hear 'I'm sorry', because I know when someone says it, it only means that they are going to be disappointing me.. I hate to say it even more, because then I know that I'm the one who's failing THEM.]]
"I'm sorry, Rick. Jake canceled on me, and I promised Grace I wouldn't make her baby-sit Zoe more than once a week.. so, I can't go to the movies tonight with you."
"Oh, well, another night, then," Rick said.
Lily felt even worse when she heard how nice he was taking it. "I'm sorry. Yeah, we'll get together again soon, okay?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
[[Lily - It hurts to have disappointed someone..*sigh*.. because it's a role I know all too well.]]
* * *
"Jen!"
Jennifer turned as she heard Eli, but didn't slow down. Eli picked up his pace and caught up to his girlfriend in the hallway. The bell was about to ring for first classes, but Eli had to talk to her. After what happened the other night Jen had been avoiding him.
"Why are you doing this?" Eli asked as Jennifer looked at him. Eli guided her out of the middle of the hallway and they leaned against the lockers. "Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm sorry, Eli." Jen looked uncomfortably around them. "I've just been.. thinking."
"Is this about what happened, because I'm sorry." Eli said.
[[Eli - I've never been good at apologies. I think it's because I feel like I HAVE to say 'I'm sorry', even if I don't mean it. Girls expect you to apologize.. so, I do.]]
"We can't talk about THAT, here," Jen said uneasily. "Let's go somewhere after school.. I have my mom's car."
"Alright," Eli said, happy that the air had been cleared between them. He leaned in to kiss Jen, but she pulled back. Maybe things weren't so clear after all. Eli looked at her in confusion. "I'm sorry."
[[Eli - There I go, again.. I don't understand what I should be sorry for, but I just feel like I have to say it.]]
"We'll talk, later, okay?" Jen whispered. Eli watched her go.
* * *
"So, are she and Kevin going out now?" Ashley asked Grace at lunch that day. They were looking over at the jock table, where Julie was sitting today with Kevin.
"Well, they're having sex.." Grace replied, distracted by the site of Eli sitting at the jock table without Jennifer.
"So, that doesn't mean anything! We all know Julie's a little slutty!" Sarah said, and grimaced. "I mean, what about that guy, Derek, who she slept with while on vacation in Florida.. she didn't even know him!"
Grace just shrugged, she didn't feel like playing the game of rag on the friend who's not here.. they played that game too many times.
"I'm going to go," Grace said, standing up. The other two girls looked at her questioningly. "I've got to go to my locker," Grace explained, but really she just wanted to get out of that atmosphere. She had been realizing lately how rude and petty her friends were. How they always talked crap about each other behind each other's backs. Grace had grown sick of it.
Grace walked away from the table, and left the lunch room, not caring that now her two close friends were most likely talking trash about HER. She walked down the hall and to her locker, pulling it open, but just standing in front of it, without having anything to do.
She heard sounds coming down the hall and began pulling books of the shelf, pretending to look busy.
"I'll see you later, man, okay!" A male voice called.
"Alright!" Another voice called.. a more familiar voice. Grace began slowly putting the books away, very aware of the sound of Eli coming down the hall. She heard him walk past her, and breathed a sigh of relief, but then his feet stopped and she heard him moving back in her direction.
"Grace?"
Grace dropped the final books back on her shelf, swung the locker closed and faced Eli. "Oh, hi."
Eli grinned an easy smile and Grace found herself smiling back.
"I'm sorry about the carnival," Eli said, "I didn't mean to desert you like that."
[[Eli - does that count as another 'Sorry'? It didn't seem like a 'sorry'.. it felt honest.]]
Grace shrugged, "I kind of ending up leaving the booth myself.."
"So, I heard. Our empty booth was the most popular.. free popcorn for everyone!" Eli joked.
Grace laughed, "Yeah, well, we made enough of it."
Eli laughed too, and they both quieted at the same instant. They looked at each other, carefully.
"It was fun, working on the signs, and at the booth.." Eli said finally.
Grace nodded in agreement. She couldn't believe she was having a conversation with Eli right here, right now.
The bell rang, ending the lunch period. "I should go," They both said at the same time. They smiled.
"Uh, yeah," Eli scratched his forehead lightly with his hand and looked back up at her, "I'll see you around."
"Yeah.. bye." Grace watched him go, in ecstasy.
* * *
"I'm sorry, Eli.. I just don't feel right about us, anymore," Jennifer said after school that day as they sat in her mother's car, parked just across the street from Eli's house.
[[Eli - She's sorry? Is she really sorry.. or does she only feel the need to say 'sorry'?]]
"So, it's over?" Eli asked.
"Yeah," Jen said nervously, waiting for him to get angry at her.
"Is this because I wanted to have sex with you?" Eli asked, not angry yet, no, just disappointed.
"No, no.. I'm just not ready for this, for us, Eli." Jennifer turned her small pixie face away from him, and said quietly, "I just don't think I love you."
Eli was surprised at that. "But you said.."
Jen turned back, her eyes filled with tears, "I know! I just.. you told me you loved me, and I felt like I HAD to say it back, you know? I thought I might mean it, but now I don't think that's true.."
"Alright." Eli said unhappily.
"What?" Jen asked, confused.
"Alright, we're over. That's what you want, so we're done.."
Jennifer astonished him even more by breaking down into sobs, "Don't you even care about me?"
"What the hell, Jen? You're the one breaking up with me!" Eli said, frustrated, beginning to get angry.
"But, you don't even care! You're supposed to care!" Jen said between her tears. She dried her face and hit the unlock button on the car doors. "Just go!"
Eli opened the door, and began to make his escape, but once again felt the need to say the words, "I'm sorry."
"No, you're not." Jennifer said calmly, and surely. Eli got out of the car and shut the door and watched his ex-girlfriend drive away.
[[Eli - She's right.. I wasn't sorry..]]
* * *
