Writer's note : As a reader observed, this is a long story. There is an end in sight however. Two more chapters follow this one. The final chapter will be a double-length monster which should weave all of the loose ends together. Thanks for sticking with me!

"What's in it for me?" The question is inherently selfish, but hardly surprising given the source. Catwoman is an extraordinary thief. Her daring and pure skill at the nefarious art of burglary have been known to awe the police. Even the Batman harbors grudging admiration for her cunning. There is some decency in Selina Kyle, but her occasional good deeds are usually accompanied by personal gain.

Wonder Woman is very anxious. She has just learned via television newscast that Arkham Asylum is mysteriously under siege. Staff members have been stricken with senseless insanity, thus leaving the inmates unattended. Hawkman has also succumbed, and it took a concerted effort by Red Tornado to subdue the hero without inducing any serious harm. Only Diana knows the cause, that being an evil incantation cast by her ruthless enemy Circe. The Joker, fittingly enough, is now a primary catalyst for the propagation of the madness. Mere mention of the Amazon champion's dwindling powers is the trigger. The Joker giddily seeks to spread the word while the super heroine is desperate to muzzle him.

"So, what possible incentive can you offer me?" Selina inquires. "Arkham doesn't exactly have the kinds of merchandise that entice me!" Clearly Catwoman enjoys making the legendary Amazon princess squirm. Diana must secure her help, but she has precious little with which to bargain. Wonder Woman refuses to reveal the secret identities of Batman or Batgirl. She will not assist Kyle in the commission of a crime. Selina presses hard for the Batgirl-cycle, but the Justice Leaguer insists that it is not hers to give.

Every idle second escalates the heroine's apprehension. This is a tricky and dangerous mission, the full purpose of which Diana intentionally keeps vague. She is asking a lot of Catwoman, including her trust. The heroine realizes that she must reciprocate that faith to gain her cooperation. Wonder Woman swallows deeply. "I am Captain Diana Prince of the U.S. Air Force." she admits. "Other than my heroic friends, you are the only person in Man's World whom I've ever confided my secret identity."

Catwoman smirks mischievously as she walks hastily towards the hallway. "That isn't nearly enough, 'Captain'," she devilishly declares, "but it is a start! We'll negotiate on the way to Arkham. If you meet the rest of my terms, it's a go. Otherwise, you're on your own!"

Selina slides open the door of her large bedroom closet. Buried deep behind the wide assortment of suits, dresses, shoes, and other apparel are two stacks of cardboard boxes. "I have a clever idea which should get us inside Arkham in a snap!" she proclaims confidently. Kyle beams with anticipation as she lugs a large carton out onto the rug. "Everything we're going to need should be right in here."

*****

"Red Tornado, how can we be of help?" The voice brims with a cool confidence which is refreshingly welcomed amidst the chaos. The android acknowledges Nightwing and his colleagues. He thanks the Teen Titans for responding to the JLA's call for assistance and asks that they all congregate a half mile clear of the sanitarium. The group is joined by Superman and Supergirl, who break off their aerial sweeps of the complex.

The Titans are quickly briefed on the situation. The group had already been aware of the Flash's condition and Wonder Woman's apparent involvement. They are alarmed to discover the vastly depleted ranks of the Justice League. The Earth-born members are all still sidelined, with the exception of the AWOL Princess Diana. "The alien Leaguers and myself all seem to be immune to the disease." Red Tornado assesses. "Unfortunately the same does not hold true for the insanity."

"For now, the Gotham PD and the National Guard appear to have the Arkham perimeter secured." Supergirl observes. "The stricken staff members are so delirious that they are as much a hindrance as they are an asset to any kind of organized escape effort. Luckily, there are few meta-human inmates to cause us trouble."

"Supergirl, you suggest organization. Has there been any indication of a structured revolt or is this purely a riot situation?" Nightwing queries. Red Tornado notes that the only communication received from within the sanitarium has come from the Joker via an exterior loudspeaker. "He insists that we dispatch a television crew inside the complex so that he can publicly voice a list of grievances against the administrators. The Joker claims to have personally inflicted madness upon the staff as a form of punishment for their inhumane treatment of the inmates."

The JLA has no intention of complying with the Joker's wishes and is willing, for now, to try waiting him out. "Dick, I'm about to make an unusual request." Superman forewarns. "I ask that only you remain on the scene, where you will work with Reddy and the authorities. The rest of us will pan out to search for Diana. She is at the very root of this mess. We must track her down before the madness spreads any further!"

Before departing, Superman pulls Nightwing and Red Tornado aside. "This insanity completely overwhelms the mind, turning a person into a raging savage." he ominously notes. "If Thanagarian and Martian physiology is susceptible, there's no reason to believe Kara and I wouldn't be. I shudder to imagine the consequences should either she or I go on the rampage. Until we better understand this witchcraft, I think it's best to avoid potential meta-human exposure whenever possible."

*****

"The golden lasso would suffice. Hell, I'd even owe you a heist or two!" Diana scoffs for she finds no humor in Catwoman's suggestion. "First you try for the invisible plane and now you ask for my magic lasso?!" the Amazon responds in disbelief. "Both are hallowed gifts bestowed upon me by Olympus. You can't seriously think that I would willingly part with either?"

"I've never had any qualms about stealing family heirlooms, so of course I'm going after your uniquely precious goodies!" Selina replies with a chuckle. The express commuter train races towards Gotham City as the two women engage in an odd bartering session. Decked out in conservative overcoats, baseball caps and horn-rimmed glasses, the pair draws little attention on the nearly full ride.

Diana glares sternly at Kyle. The Amazon begins to chastise her, but she cuts herself off because her increased volume turns a few heads. Selina covers her mouth to refrain from laughing. The thief fiendishly milks Wonder Woman's anxiety, mixing in subtle facial expressions which further irk the princess. "Captain, you are so much more fun than Batgirl, I can't even begin to tell you!" Catwoman playfully teases. "You can kill me with the slightest of efforts, yet your personal standards of ethics compel you to grovel for my assistance. It's priceless!"

"I do not grovel!" Diana objects with renewed conviction. The Amazon emphatically reiterates the limits to which she is willing to concede. Her declaration evokes a long frown from Selina. The villainess disgustedly grabs her duffle bag and rises to her feet. "Well then Captain Diana Prince of the United States Air Force, we have nothing left to discuss!" she barks as she storms off in a huff.

The Amazon princess watches as Catwoman re-seats herself a dozen rows away in the rear of the car. Kyle puts up with the combination of cigarette smoke and lewd comments from the contingent of young, white-collar men. In jest and false bravado, several guys hit on the disguised Ms. Kyle. Never for a moment do any of them imagine that the dowdy brunette nets more in an average week than they do in the entire year.

Selina occasionally glances towards Wonder Woman. The heroine is tempted to venture back and appeal to Kyle to rejoin her. Diana stays put, however, as a matter of pride. "How much of my dignity must I be forced to compromise?" the Justice Leaguer privately frets. "I can't just allow Catwoman to walk all over me. I must project an image of strength, both for my short and long-term good."

The trip passes far too swiftly for Princess Diana. An announcement blares over the loud speaker, indicating that the next stop will be reached in about one minute. The heroine prepares to spring out of her seat once the train begins to slow. This proves unnecessary for Selina makes her way back to her original seat. Kyle is annoyed. She had expected the super heroine to relent, at least to some extent.

"I want a 'free pass'." Catwoman sternly insists. There is no hint of her earlier frolics as she explains herself. "I never intend to go to prison again. You're going to be my safety net in the event that I ever get sloppy or unlucky on the job. My obligatory phone call will be made to you, Captain Prince. That golden lariat of yours can make people forget all sorts of incriminating things. The memories of cops, DA's, eyewitnesses and even the likes of the Batman will be wiped clean of my little crime gone awry. You will also be expected to dispose of any other physical evidence against me."

It is Wonder Woman's turn to frown. "You have a deal," the princess groans reluctantly, "but with two conditions." The train comes to a stop as Kyle listens. "First, this is a one-shot deal. You get one 'free pass' and that's it. Secondly, this applies only to non-violent crimes. I will not bail you out should you maim or kill someone. In that event, you're on your own." Selina agrees to her terms as they join a dozen other passengers departing the rail car.

*****

The Arkham Asylum grounds are five blocks west of the train station. Wonder Woman and her temporary ally close to within a quarter mile. The street ahead is blocked off and in the distance they spot S.W.A.T. officers and National Guardsman maintaining a secured perimeter. Red Tornado circles the facility from above. "So that's it?" Catwoman jests as she and Diana duck into the lobby of a small office building. "This will be even easier than I imagined!"

The two women make use of a public ladies room on the ground floor. Already sporting standard prison garb underneath their overcoats, they further alter their appearances through the use of wigs, facial grease paint and make-up. "Neither one of is all that convincing, but we don't have to be." Selina observes. "Harley and Pam are hardly social butterflies. They are recognizable in general terms, but very few people have the misfortune of knowing them well enough to pick them out of a lineup."

"We must be wary of Nightwing." the Amazon princess warns. "He is familiar with both Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Of course, he also knows Catwoman and he might even spot you through your Harley guise."

"Nightwing?" Selina hisses with contempt. "We haven't crossed paths, but I've always suspected he was once the original Robin. I never could quite stand that impetuous kid! When the Batman busts me, he's all business. It's a job. As for Robin ... er Nightwing, it's 'Holy handcuffs!'. He actually enjoys foiling criminal schemes and putting the likes of me behind bars. Did I say I can't stand that impetuous kid?!"


*****

As per Selina's scheme, she and Diana covertly slip past the outer security rim on the far side of the sanitarium. Their access point is exactly opposite of Nightwing's current position. With her matchless stealth, Catwoman could very likely make it all the way inside the building undetected. Selina sees an easier and surer method, however. The two women strategically reverse direction and scurry away from the complex.

"Freeze!" a S.W.A.T. officer yells mere seconds later. A dozen soldiers converge on Selina and Diana, who by all appearances are Arkham inmates attempting an escape. "Hands above your heads!" the sergeant commands. The military and police units demonstrate strong discipline and judgment. Standard procedure would dictate that the subjects be physically restrained; the unusual circumstances countermand such measures. The policemen recognize 'Poison Ivy' and 'Harley Quinn' as particularly dangerous felons. As such, the prisoners are held at bay until JLA help arrives.

"You are wise to keep your distance gentlemen." Red Tornado praises as he descends upon the scene. Reddy has never encountered Pamela Isley or Harley Quinn; therefore his knowledge is limited to their criminal profiles. Diana is especially careful to avoid eye contact as the hero looks them over. Although the android does not suspect their subterfuge, the princess begins to fear that Kyle's plan has fizzled from the outset.

"Yo, Mistuh Tornada sir?" Selina suddenly interjects. "Now I know what yer thinkin', but me n' Ivy wuzn't escapin' ... er ... exactly. Ya see, things are really gettin funky in there and we wuz just tryin to git help." At first it takes a concerted effort for Diana to resist cringing at Catwoman's silly jive. Soon, however, the Amazon finds herself repressing a grin. The deft combination of tone, accent and demeanor makes Kyle an astonishingly convincing Ms. Quinn.

"Dis whole shindig just ain't right." Selina continues. "It wuzn't supposed ta go down like dis. Mistuh J n' me, well we kinda got a thing goin'. Heh, heh ... he's my Puddin'! Well, Joker and me wuz plannin' to blow this joint months ago. Never did tho', cuz I wanted Ivy ta come too. She's my best bud, but Mistuh J hates plants. Anywho, dis mornin' everything sorta changed. Joker took over Arkham. That ain't good, cuz when Mistuh J gets too muchuva god complex nothin' else matters. He stops bein' my Puddin', and after all we been thru that really hurts, ya know? So that's why Ivy and me sneaked outta there ta git yer help."

Catwoman continues to ramble aimlessly. As she anticipates, Red Tornado isn't buying her lame explanation. The android does accept that she is the genuine article however. In addition, his attention is so focused on the animated 'Harley Quinn' that Wonder Woman is essentially spared the burden of selling herself as Poison Ivy. Before too long, Reddy's patience runs dry.

"Silence Ms. Quinn." Red Tornado calmly, yet sternly demands. The Justice Leaguer would like to interrogate the two women. He understandably believes them to possess invaluable information, but they can not be trusted. Harley is notoriously unstable, while Pam Isley is wickedly brutal. Given the apparent outbreak of mass insanity, the android reasons that his safest recourse is to return them to the asylum and maintain the quarantine.

*****

"I await your apology." Catwoman jests. Diana is somewhat confused. "For doubting me." Selina explains. "You didn't think I could get us past your brilliant computerized ally, did you?" Kyle smiles as the Amazon nods in agreement. "What a rush that was!" the catburglar continues. "Harley Quinn is a pitiful ninny with the absolute worst taste in men imaginable, but she is a real scream to imitate!"

Now safely within the walls of Arkham Asylum, Wonder Woman asserts herself. Following her prearranged plan, the Amazon combs the corridors alone in search of her quarry. Catwoman readily consents to Diana's tactics for she has no particular desire to cross paths with the Joker, much less confront him on his turf. At the Amazon's insistence, Kyle wears earplugs which drown out all sound save a miniature radio link between them. The heroine implores Kyle to remain out of sight. The real Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are both currently incarcerated at Arkham. She reasons that it is best to limit the risk of encountering either.

Although her mission is deadly serious, Diana can't help but share some of the emotions of her unlikely partner. Her heart beats swiftly as she roams the complex. The constant threat of exposure and the risk of failure fuels her adrenaline. She feels the "rush" which Catwoman so relishes. The princess will never approve of Selina's ways, but she now better understands the intense impulses which drive her.

Wonder Woman passes through a cell ward. To her surprise, she discovers that the vast majority of inmates remain sealed in their rooms. Many are crazed killers with sad and violent pasts. A few fall under the dubious classification of 'super-villains'. She notices a personal nemesis, a disarmed Silver Swan. Diana also passes Maxie Zeus, Pied Piper, Toyman and Two-Face. "Looks like I'm in luck." the Amazon privately observes. "The Joker apparently is unwilling to share his dangerous knowledge with his competition. Hopefully, I can get to him before he's able to make any further use of it."

Continuing on her travels, she soon detects an unmistakable cackling emanating from the infirmary. The Amazon champion cautiously approaches. The area is in complete disarray from a very recent and brutal melee. Bodies are strewn throughout. The uniforms indicate a combination of guards, medics and patients. Most are unconscious although she detects occasional groans. Diana navigates through the injured. None are dead although most require considerable medical attention. That must wait, however, for the Joker is her top priority.

Wonder Woman tracks the Joker's intermittent laughter to the head physician's posh office at the rear of the infirmary. The villain is bruised and bleeding, no doubt as a result of the fracas he himself instigated. He lies on the couch while holding an ice pack to his right eye. Playing a rather inept nursemaid is the genuine Harley Quinn, the lone Arkham resident in whom the Joker is willing to place his trust.

"Ivy!" Quinn exclaims in pleasant surprise upon spotting the disguised heroine. "Thanks fer lettin' her out, Puddin'! I promise that ya can trust her." The Joker growls disapprovingly at Harley. He insists that he made no such decision. Ms. Quinn glances back at Poison Ivy and she is further confused. "Say Ivy, ya been eatin' yer own plant food or somethin'? Looks like ya grown a few inches talla."

The Joker drops his ice pack and sits straight up. He frantically attempts to focus his blurred vision, but his ears verify the unfortunate truth. "It's over Joker." Diana declares in matter-of-fact fashion. "I can not allow you to do this." Still possessing far superior speed and strength, Wonder Woman quickly subdues the villainous pair. She proceeds to sedate them both with dosages strong enough to keep them under for the next 48 hours.

*****

"We're in good shape down here, Selina." the super heroine reports. "The Joker is out of commission. I'm tending to an injured guard. This won't take long; I'll be back up your way in five minutes." Catwoman acknowledges the Amazon and prods her to hurry. "This place doesn't quite rank as one of my favorite hangouts." Kyle remarks nervously.

The princess utilizes her medical training to address a head wound suffered by an Arkham security man. She gently places him on a rolling stretcher and restrains him so that he can do no harm to himself or others. The officer is in stable condition and he is ready for immediate transport to a hospital.

Diana is about to leave the infirmary when the silence is shattered by alarms and the sound of dozens of heavy footsteps drawing closer. "Selina?" the heroine whispers as she hustles for cover. "Something just happened. Can you tell what's going on?"

"Oh, I would imagine that's the S.W.A.T. team and the National Guard." Catwoman answers in her normal voice. "The JLA and the Titans are probably with them." she adds with biting satisfaction. Diana is momentarily speechless. "You're far too trusting, Captain." Selina teases. "I let them know the danger had passed the moment you took the Joker down. In fact, I'm boarding my train for Bludhaven as we speak!"

"Good luck in there, Captain!" Selina Kyle offers sarcastically. "I fulfilled my half of the bargain; the Joker is toast. Now it's only fair that I go claim the payment I had in mind all along ... Batgirl's motorcycle! Ta ta!!!!"