~A Once and Again Series~
The Way We Were
Chapter 30//Evaluating the Situation
"Not bad," Eli said, turning in a circle. He studied the bare room. "I could definitely live here."
Grace smiled at him, as they stood in the attic of her house... which was soon to be Eli's room. "It's very private," Grace said.
Eli turned to her, a sly grin on his face, "That will be nice, huh?"
Grace caught his meaning and smiled shyly as he walked closer to her. They looked into each other's eyes, and Eli leaned in, kissing her softly. Their lips met with intensity and they soon were lost deep in their kiss. Eli's hands found Grace's back and cradled her close to his body.
"Eli, how about--" Lily said as she came up the stairs. She stopped still as she saw her daughter and Eli locked in a kiss.
Grace and Eli broke guiltily from their kiss. "I like it up here," Eli said, trying to ease the tension in the room.
Lily came up the final steps, "Yes... it turned out quite nice after we got rid of all the boxes and stuff... Grace, could you come and help me-- something," Lily said when she couldn't find a better word.
Grace reluctantly followed her mother down the stairs. Lily stopped as they reached the doorway to Grace's room. "Grace," Her mother began.
"Mom, it was just a kiss," Grace said with annoyance.
"I know, Grace, but I don't know how comfortable I am with us all moving in together, with you and Eli..." Lily trailed off, looking back at the door to the attic.
"Mom," Grace said, her tone becoming gentle. "You can trust me. It will be okay. Eli and I... we're not going to---" Grace stopped as she realized she couldn't promise that to her mother... since who knew what would happen in the future.
[[Grace - I'm only 14... I don't think I'm ready for sex. And I know that's what my mother fears... is that by Rick, Jessie and Eli moving in-- Eli and I are going to take advantage of being together in the same house. But, she's got to understand, that if I wanted to do that... which I don't, not yet... but if Eli and I wanted to, we would do it regardless of whether we lived together in the same house or not.]]
Lily nodded, "Grace, I trust you."
Grace smiled. "Thanks." She turned and went back up the stairs, to the room Eli would be moving into in less than two weeks. Lily watched her go, her face unsure.
* * *
"Eli!" Carla cried, meeting up with Eli in the school hallway.
"Hey," Eli said. Carla tugged on his sleeve.
"You have to hear this new CD I got..." She said, dragging him to the language lab.
"I'm supposed to meet Grace for lunch," Eli said, but Carla held on strong.
"Just one song, then," Carla promised, as they entered the lab.
* * *
Grace shifted her lunch tray, looking around for Eli... or Carla. But neither one was here. Grace froze for a minute, surveying the lunch room, hoping Eli would suddenly make an appearance. But when he didn't, Grace found herself moving towards her old table... with Julie, Sarah and Ashley.
Julie looked up as Grace joined them, giving her a semi-friendly, but surprised smile. Sarah stared angrily at Grace, and Ashley was looking down at her lunch.
[[Grace - I guess I've just been busy with Eli and Carla... and I kind of *sigh* blew off my friends...]]
"Hey," Grace said, sitting down.
"Hi," Julie said. Sarah and Ashley were silent.
Grace dipped one of her fries in ketchup and ate it uncomfortably. Maybe it would have been better if she had sat alone.
"Where's Eli?" Sarah asked finally. "Or Carla?" She added nastily.
Grace looked at her friend, and said, "I don't know."
Ashley looked up at Grace finally, "You know what... this is crap, Grace! The way you expect us to still be your friend after you dropped us for that skank girl, Carla... that's crap. Why don't you do us a favor, and just leave!"
Grace looked at Ashley in surprise. Ashley had always been the nicest one out of the group and for her to say something like that was... Grace sighed, looking at the other two, "Do you feel that way too?"
"Yes," Sarah said coldly, and Grace looked to her once best friend, Julie. Julie looked at Grace, her eyes troubled, but then she nodded too.
[[Grace - ...and now I've lost them... I traded them in for Carla...]]
Grace stood. "I'm sorry." She walked away, stopping at the garage cans to toss her uneaten lunch in and then she exited the cafeteria. She started to her locker, meaning to grab some books and go to the library for the rest of the hour, but as she passed the language lab, she heard laughter.
Grace stopped and went to the doorway. Eli and Carla were sitting close together, sharing a set of headphones as they listened to a song. Grace watched them for a few seconds, and then hesitantly entered.
"Oh, hey, Grace! You've got to hear this new CD I got," Carla said as she noticed Grace.
"It's awesome," Eli chimed in. He didn't seem to notice the pained expression on Grace's face.
[[Grace - ...and I don't even know whether I can trust Carla or not... what kind of friend is that?]]
Grace joined them, and listened to the song without much interest. She kept looking at Eli and at Carla and wondering if her friendship with Carla was going to ruin everything in her life.
* * *
"E-man!" Carla cried. "What's up?"
Eli turned, surprised by a familiar voice. He looked around the mall, and his eyes finally landed on Carla. She danced happily over to him. When she got near, Eli breathed in the alcohol on her breath with a slight startle. "Have you been...?" Eli asked cautiously.
Carla rolled her eyes, and laughed, but she failed to do both at once, and had to grab tightly to Eli's jacket to keep from falling.
Eli sighed, looking around. He had still been planning on hitting a few more shops, but he couldn't just leave Carla in this condition. "Carla, can I drive you home?"
"No," Carla shook her head vehemently. "I can't go back there! You don't know what my step-mother is like! She's horrible! And if she sees me like this...."
"Drunk?" Eli asked.
Carla pushed his hands off her, "So I had a few drinks. SO, what? That bitch drinks her f*cking wine and her Rum EVERY night, and I have a few beers and smoke some pot, and suddenly I'm the HORRIBLE one!!!"
"Carla, you're shouting," Eli said, looking around.
"She wants to send me to rehab, AGAIN!!" Carla cried, dancing out of Eli's grasp. "I can't go back there! I can't! And I don't think I should have to! So, what if I drink, or smoke... or take some pills! It's not like she doesn't take those SAME pills! Only she has a prescription, so... it's OKAY for HER. But, why does she have to treat ME this way....?"
[[Eli - I don't know how to deal with this girl, and her problems... and I shouldn't HAVE to deal with her and her problems... She shouldn't be a part of my life. I never wanted to become her friend, but now I am, and I should have backed away sooner, because I SAW.... I saw this girl had problems, and that she was trouble, but I just felt I couldn't back away... and now she needs me... and I have to be there for her, and I don't what to do.]]
Eli managed to grab a hold of Carla and tried to calm her down. "Carla, I'll take you to my dad's apartment. He's not there... he's already moved into Lily's house. You can rest, maybe sleep, and decide what to do later..."
Carla shook her head, "NO... just leave me, Eli. I'm fine."
But Eli knew better than that. He looked Carla closely in the eyes, "You're not fine..."
Carla collapsed in his arms, her held-back tears overflowing. "I don't want go to rehab," Carla cried into his shoulder.
"I know," Eli whispered back. He looked around, aware of the spectacle they were making, standing like that in the middle of the mall. Eli waited until Carla's sobs had been reduced to sniffles, and then gently guided her out of the mall and to his father's car.
* * *
"Tiffany asked me to be a maid of honor at the wedding," Zoe said importantly.
Grace glanced at her sister, taking her eyes off the email she was writing on her computer, "Yeah, she asked me too."
"Oh," Zoe said, a little disappointed. She picked up some of her sister's makeup and examined it. "When do you think they'll get married?"
Grace didn't tear her eyes away from the screen this time. "Soon, I mean before the baby comes..."
"What baby?" Zoe asked, confused.
Grace shook her head, "Uh, nothing, Zoe."
"What baby?" Zoe repeated. When Grace didn't answer, Zoe ran out into the hallway. Grace smiled a bit as she heard Zoe screaming for their mother. Opps, Grace had spilled the beans, but it wasn't like Zoe wasn't going to find out soon anyways.
Grace returned her attention to her email, typing furiously. She really felt bad about the whole thing with Julie and her friends. Grace hadn't meant to let them down, but she had just been distracted... by Eli, of course, since he was her first boyfriend, and well her first true love.
[[Grace - Yes, I said love.... I love him. *smile* I used to think I'd never love someone, not like this. I thought I couldn't find love, because I didn't think much of myself.... but now I have Eli, and every moment with him makes me know that love is possible.... because that's what we have.]]
But she had also been distracted by Carla. Carla had just been so different than herself, and her friends. And Grace had just been caught up in the whirlwind that is Carla. Carla made every second interesting, and fun, and... Grace had let herself think that that was something good enough to base a friendship on. But now she wondered if she had made a mistake. She did know, however, that ditching her true friends had been a mistake.
Grace finished typing her email to Julie, and sent it. She hoped Julie would see that she meant every word she wrote. And Grace knew that if Julie took her back as a friend, that Sarah and Ashley wouldn't be far behind. But, anyway, Julie was the she had been closest with... Julie's acceptance of her apology would mean the most.
Grace shut down her computer and looked up as her mother appeared in the doorway.
"Grace..." Her mother began.
"I'm sorry, it just slipped out," Grace said, explaining about the baby-slip.
"I wouldn't have told you if I thought you couldn't keep it a secret," Lily said softly.
Grace nodded, "I know. But it's not like she wasn't going to find out soon enough, anyways."
"Yeah," Lily said, giving in. She began to leave.
"Mom?" Grace asked.
Lily turned back.
"Can you drop me off at Rick's apartment?"
"Whatever do you want to go there for?" Lily asked in surprise.
"Eli said he was going over there tonight to pack up the rest of his stuff. I thought I could help," Grace said with a smile.
"Yeah, help..." Lily said, shaking her head, but smiling also. "I'm sure you'll get a lot done."
"Hey, we will!" Grace argued, but knew that it was possible that she and Eli might get distracted. "So, could you?"
"Alright, get in the car," Lily said. She was in a relatively good mood, despite Grace's slip to Zoe. She went out in the hallway and called for Zoe, "Zoe, want to get ice cream?"
Zoe came out of her room eagerly, forgetting her resentment at her mother for sharing the news of Tiffany's pregnancy with Grace and not her, and the three of them headed for the car.
* * *
"What's this?" Carla asked as Eli handed her a warm mug.
"It's coffee... I've never made it before, but it should be fine enough to do the trick," Eli said.
Carla looked at the black liquid with disgust. "You think coffee is going to solve everything?"
"No, but it might sober you..." Eli said, and stopped as he saw Carla's harsh look.
"Eli, just..." Carla began. "I don't need another person telling me..."
"I'm not telling you anything!" Eli insisted. "I just thought it would be better if your thoughts were clearer."
"I'm thinking fine," Carla said coldly, setting the mug back on the countertop. She went up the stairs, and Eli followed her as she went into his room.
Carla pulled the window open and searched through her pockets. She found what she was looking for and turned to Eli, "Do you have a lighter?"
"Are.. are you going to smoke that?" Eli asked.
[[Eli - I don't know what to do. I don't know what's my place here. How can I get her to stop, to change, when she's so... stubborn? I just wish I had dropped her off at her own house. Then, I wouldn't have to deal with her.... deal with this.]]
"Oh, come on, Eli. It's the only thing that will calm me down right now." Carla said. "So, you got a lighter?"
"No, I don't," Eli said, although he knew he had one somewhere.
Carla looked at him angrily, and then began searching her coat pockets. Eli moved forward and took the joint from her hand. "I really don't think this is what you need."
"How do YOU know what I need? How can you?" Carla stared at him, "You have Grace. And you have a perfect life, and you don't know what it's like to be ME.... to be alone."
"You're not alone," Eli said, crushing the joint and tossing it in his trash can. "Carla..."
Carla was staring at him with an intense expression. "You're Mr. Perfect... star of the basketball team, super guitar player, great brother... great boyfriend. And you have Ms. Perfect--- Grace. And I'm just me. And I get so sick of it. I'm sick of seeing everyone else living the lives I want!"
"Carla?" Eli asked, moving back over to her. He was afraid she had started to cry again. He didn't know the words to make it right for her... so he just stared at her bowed head, silently.
Then Carla looked back up at him, and something in her expression had changed. Eli felt frightened by the look on her face... it was a look of determination. Eli took a hesitant step back, but Carla was already flinging herself on him. Her lips pressed hard against his own.
[[Eli - *nervous look* ...Help....]]
* * *
The Way We Were
Chapter 30//Evaluating the Situation
"Not bad," Eli said, turning in a circle. He studied the bare room. "I could definitely live here."
Grace smiled at him, as they stood in the attic of her house... which was soon to be Eli's room. "It's very private," Grace said.
Eli turned to her, a sly grin on his face, "That will be nice, huh?"
Grace caught his meaning and smiled shyly as he walked closer to her. They looked into each other's eyes, and Eli leaned in, kissing her softly. Their lips met with intensity and they soon were lost deep in their kiss. Eli's hands found Grace's back and cradled her close to his body.
"Eli, how about--" Lily said as she came up the stairs. She stopped still as she saw her daughter and Eli locked in a kiss.
Grace and Eli broke guiltily from their kiss. "I like it up here," Eli said, trying to ease the tension in the room.
Lily came up the final steps, "Yes... it turned out quite nice after we got rid of all the boxes and stuff... Grace, could you come and help me-- something," Lily said when she couldn't find a better word.
Grace reluctantly followed her mother down the stairs. Lily stopped as they reached the doorway to Grace's room. "Grace," Her mother began.
"Mom, it was just a kiss," Grace said with annoyance.
"I know, Grace, but I don't know how comfortable I am with us all moving in together, with you and Eli..." Lily trailed off, looking back at the door to the attic.
"Mom," Grace said, her tone becoming gentle. "You can trust me. It will be okay. Eli and I... we're not going to---" Grace stopped as she realized she couldn't promise that to her mother... since who knew what would happen in the future.
[[Grace - I'm only 14... I don't think I'm ready for sex. And I know that's what my mother fears... is that by Rick, Jessie and Eli moving in-- Eli and I are going to take advantage of being together in the same house. But, she's got to understand, that if I wanted to do that... which I don't, not yet... but if Eli and I wanted to, we would do it regardless of whether we lived together in the same house or not.]]
Lily nodded, "Grace, I trust you."
Grace smiled. "Thanks." She turned and went back up the stairs, to the room Eli would be moving into in less than two weeks. Lily watched her go, her face unsure.
* * *
"Eli!" Carla cried, meeting up with Eli in the school hallway.
"Hey," Eli said. Carla tugged on his sleeve.
"You have to hear this new CD I got..." She said, dragging him to the language lab.
"I'm supposed to meet Grace for lunch," Eli said, but Carla held on strong.
"Just one song, then," Carla promised, as they entered the lab.
* * *
Grace shifted her lunch tray, looking around for Eli... or Carla. But neither one was here. Grace froze for a minute, surveying the lunch room, hoping Eli would suddenly make an appearance. But when he didn't, Grace found herself moving towards her old table... with Julie, Sarah and Ashley.
Julie looked up as Grace joined them, giving her a semi-friendly, but surprised smile. Sarah stared angrily at Grace, and Ashley was looking down at her lunch.
[[Grace - I guess I've just been busy with Eli and Carla... and I kind of *sigh* blew off my friends...]]
"Hey," Grace said, sitting down.
"Hi," Julie said. Sarah and Ashley were silent.
Grace dipped one of her fries in ketchup and ate it uncomfortably. Maybe it would have been better if she had sat alone.
"Where's Eli?" Sarah asked finally. "Or Carla?" She added nastily.
Grace looked at her friend, and said, "I don't know."
Ashley looked up at Grace finally, "You know what... this is crap, Grace! The way you expect us to still be your friend after you dropped us for that skank girl, Carla... that's crap. Why don't you do us a favor, and just leave!"
Grace looked at Ashley in surprise. Ashley had always been the nicest one out of the group and for her to say something like that was... Grace sighed, looking at the other two, "Do you feel that way too?"
"Yes," Sarah said coldly, and Grace looked to her once best friend, Julie. Julie looked at Grace, her eyes troubled, but then she nodded too.
[[Grace - ...and now I've lost them... I traded them in for Carla...]]
Grace stood. "I'm sorry." She walked away, stopping at the garage cans to toss her uneaten lunch in and then she exited the cafeteria. She started to her locker, meaning to grab some books and go to the library for the rest of the hour, but as she passed the language lab, she heard laughter.
Grace stopped and went to the doorway. Eli and Carla were sitting close together, sharing a set of headphones as they listened to a song. Grace watched them for a few seconds, and then hesitantly entered.
"Oh, hey, Grace! You've got to hear this new CD I got," Carla said as she noticed Grace.
"It's awesome," Eli chimed in. He didn't seem to notice the pained expression on Grace's face.
[[Grace - ...and I don't even know whether I can trust Carla or not... what kind of friend is that?]]
Grace joined them, and listened to the song without much interest. She kept looking at Eli and at Carla and wondering if her friendship with Carla was going to ruin everything in her life.
* * *
"E-man!" Carla cried. "What's up?"
Eli turned, surprised by a familiar voice. He looked around the mall, and his eyes finally landed on Carla. She danced happily over to him. When she got near, Eli breathed in the alcohol on her breath with a slight startle. "Have you been...?" Eli asked cautiously.
Carla rolled her eyes, and laughed, but she failed to do both at once, and had to grab tightly to Eli's jacket to keep from falling.
Eli sighed, looking around. He had still been planning on hitting a few more shops, but he couldn't just leave Carla in this condition. "Carla, can I drive you home?"
"No," Carla shook her head vehemently. "I can't go back there! You don't know what my step-mother is like! She's horrible! And if she sees me like this...."
"Drunk?" Eli asked.
Carla pushed his hands off her, "So I had a few drinks. SO, what? That bitch drinks her f*cking wine and her Rum EVERY night, and I have a few beers and smoke some pot, and suddenly I'm the HORRIBLE one!!!"
"Carla, you're shouting," Eli said, looking around.
"She wants to send me to rehab, AGAIN!!" Carla cried, dancing out of Eli's grasp. "I can't go back there! I can't! And I don't think I should have to! So, what if I drink, or smoke... or take some pills! It's not like she doesn't take those SAME pills! Only she has a prescription, so... it's OKAY for HER. But, why does she have to treat ME this way....?"
[[Eli - I don't know how to deal with this girl, and her problems... and I shouldn't HAVE to deal with her and her problems... She shouldn't be a part of my life. I never wanted to become her friend, but now I am, and I should have backed away sooner, because I SAW.... I saw this girl had problems, and that she was trouble, but I just felt I couldn't back away... and now she needs me... and I have to be there for her, and I don't what to do.]]
Eli managed to grab a hold of Carla and tried to calm her down. "Carla, I'll take you to my dad's apartment. He's not there... he's already moved into Lily's house. You can rest, maybe sleep, and decide what to do later..."
Carla shook her head, "NO... just leave me, Eli. I'm fine."
But Eli knew better than that. He looked Carla closely in the eyes, "You're not fine..."
Carla collapsed in his arms, her held-back tears overflowing. "I don't want go to rehab," Carla cried into his shoulder.
"I know," Eli whispered back. He looked around, aware of the spectacle they were making, standing like that in the middle of the mall. Eli waited until Carla's sobs had been reduced to sniffles, and then gently guided her out of the mall and to his father's car.
* * *
"Tiffany asked me to be a maid of honor at the wedding," Zoe said importantly.
Grace glanced at her sister, taking her eyes off the email she was writing on her computer, "Yeah, she asked me too."
"Oh," Zoe said, a little disappointed. She picked up some of her sister's makeup and examined it. "When do you think they'll get married?"
Grace didn't tear her eyes away from the screen this time. "Soon, I mean before the baby comes..."
"What baby?" Zoe asked, confused.
Grace shook her head, "Uh, nothing, Zoe."
"What baby?" Zoe repeated. When Grace didn't answer, Zoe ran out into the hallway. Grace smiled a bit as she heard Zoe screaming for their mother. Opps, Grace had spilled the beans, but it wasn't like Zoe wasn't going to find out soon anyways.
Grace returned her attention to her email, typing furiously. She really felt bad about the whole thing with Julie and her friends. Grace hadn't meant to let them down, but she had just been distracted... by Eli, of course, since he was her first boyfriend, and well her first true love.
[[Grace - Yes, I said love.... I love him. *smile* I used to think I'd never love someone, not like this. I thought I couldn't find love, because I didn't think much of myself.... but now I have Eli, and every moment with him makes me know that love is possible.... because that's what we have.]]
But she had also been distracted by Carla. Carla had just been so different than herself, and her friends. And Grace had just been caught up in the whirlwind that is Carla. Carla made every second interesting, and fun, and... Grace had let herself think that that was something good enough to base a friendship on. But now she wondered if she had made a mistake. She did know, however, that ditching her true friends had been a mistake.
Grace finished typing her email to Julie, and sent it. She hoped Julie would see that she meant every word she wrote. And Grace knew that if Julie took her back as a friend, that Sarah and Ashley wouldn't be far behind. But, anyway, Julie was the she had been closest with... Julie's acceptance of her apology would mean the most.
Grace shut down her computer and looked up as her mother appeared in the doorway.
"Grace..." Her mother began.
"I'm sorry, it just slipped out," Grace said, explaining about the baby-slip.
"I wouldn't have told you if I thought you couldn't keep it a secret," Lily said softly.
Grace nodded, "I know. But it's not like she wasn't going to find out soon enough, anyways."
"Yeah," Lily said, giving in. She began to leave.
"Mom?" Grace asked.
Lily turned back.
"Can you drop me off at Rick's apartment?"
"Whatever do you want to go there for?" Lily asked in surprise.
"Eli said he was going over there tonight to pack up the rest of his stuff. I thought I could help," Grace said with a smile.
"Yeah, help..." Lily said, shaking her head, but smiling also. "I'm sure you'll get a lot done."
"Hey, we will!" Grace argued, but knew that it was possible that she and Eli might get distracted. "So, could you?"
"Alright, get in the car," Lily said. She was in a relatively good mood, despite Grace's slip to Zoe. She went out in the hallway and called for Zoe, "Zoe, want to get ice cream?"
Zoe came out of her room eagerly, forgetting her resentment at her mother for sharing the news of Tiffany's pregnancy with Grace and not her, and the three of them headed for the car.
* * *
"What's this?" Carla asked as Eli handed her a warm mug.
"It's coffee... I've never made it before, but it should be fine enough to do the trick," Eli said.
Carla looked at the black liquid with disgust. "You think coffee is going to solve everything?"
"No, but it might sober you..." Eli said, and stopped as he saw Carla's harsh look.
"Eli, just..." Carla began. "I don't need another person telling me..."
"I'm not telling you anything!" Eli insisted. "I just thought it would be better if your thoughts were clearer."
"I'm thinking fine," Carla said coldly, setting the mug back on the countertop. She went up the stairs, and Eli followed her as she went into his room.
Carla pulled the window open and searched through her pockets. She found what she was looking for and turned to Eli, "Do you have a lighter?"
"Are.. are you going to smoke that?" Eli asked.
[[Eli - I don't know what to do. I don't know what's my place here. How can I get her to stop, to change, when she's so... stubborn? I just wish I had dropped her off at her own house. Then, I wouldn't have to deal with her.... deal with this.]]
"Oh, come on, Eli. It's the only thing that will calm me down right now." Carla said. "So, you got a lighter?"
"No, I don't," Eli said, although he knew he had one somewhere.
Carla looked at him angrily, and then began searching her coat pockets. Eli moved forward and took the joint from her hand. "I really don't think this is what you need."
"How do YOU know what I need? How can you?" Carla stared at him, "You have Grace. And you have a perfect life, and you don't know what it's like to be ME.... to be alone."
"You're not alone," Eli said, crushing the joint and tossing it in his trash can. "Carla..."
Carla was staring at him with an intense expression. "You're Mr. Perfect... star of the basketball team, super guitar player, great brother... great boyfriend. And you have Ms. Perfect--- Grace. And I'm just me. And I get so sick of it. I'm sick of seeing everyone else living the lives I want!"
"Carla?" Eli asked, moving back over to her. He was afraid she had started to cry again. He didn't know the words to make it right for her... so he just stared at her bowed head, silently.
Then Carla looked back up at him, and something in her expression had changed. Eli felt frightened by the look on her face... it was a look of determination. Eli took a hesitant step back, but Carla was already flinging herself on him. Her lips pressed hard against his own.
[[Eli - *nervous look* ...Help....]]
* * *
