Cloud's Revenge

by Mako_Shadows

Disclaimer- I do not own FFVII or Dukes of Hazard, or the A-TEAM.

Chapter #4- Attack of the Idiot!

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The Gold Saucer the perfect place to pull a prank, or the perfect place to get one pulled on you. Cloud still hasn't realized how crappy his 'disguise' is and that no one believes he is Sephiroth. The poor entrance person was scared speechless when the planet saving AVALANCHE leader walked up and demanded to be let in for free because he was Sephiroth. Well the poor chit just stood the and let Cloud waltz on in, and I mean he waltzed (As in ballroom danced.) into the Gold Saucer. As soon as that freak, was outta sight she called up Dio, and demanded why he ever let a mentality unstable toilet paper mached blond idiot like that one out of prison.

Cloud in the meantime was waltzing into the main station, to music only he could hear. Thank God, by the way he was dancing the music had to pretty stupid. Cloud finally stopped dancing a few minutes later, which was none to soon for the other patrons of the Gold Saucer who had had their feet trodden on be our dear friend with two left feet and no sense of rhythm. (I sympathize with Cloud here, I could not dance to save my life)

Cloud: Hmm... I am at the Gold Saucer eh? Well now that I am here I might as well get Cait Sith!! That rotten, double crossing no good spy. Selling us out to the enemy. I would never to that! Never me! (Yeah right Cloud you betrayed the group to Sephy and Jenova, more times than Reeve) Now what to do to the Cat, I can't poke him, even though he does look like the Pilsbury Dough Boy. Ya know I remember Cait telling me that one of those fat yellow chocobo things had a crush on him... Well I guess I just visit the Chocobo stables...

Chocobo Stables.

" Oh Hi there Mr. Cloud are ya gonna race Warky today?" a stable boy asked.

"Huh.. Uh.. I'm not Cloud... Can ya guess who I am?"

"Uh.. you're... umm.."

"I'll give you a hint. I am evil and I tried to kill you! Muwhahahaha."

"AHHHHHHH!!! THE BOGIE MONSTER!!! RUN!! RUN FOR LIFE!!! ATTACK OF THE MONSTER UNDER YOUR BED!!! MMMOOOOOOMMMMYYY!!!!!" the stable boy screamed hysterically, running away for his mommy.

"AHH!!! MONSTER!!! TIFA SAVE ME!!!" Cloud screamed before remembering that he was the monster.

Cloud: Oh well. Now I can those feathers.

"Hey there, Cloudy-boy, how would you like your fortune told?"

"I AM SEPHIROTH. S-E-F-ER-R-OTH! GOT IT!!" (Cloud can't spell. It figures.)

"Uhh.. Okie-day. Free fortune for my mistake buddy" Insert Cait Sith doing his dance thing to get the fortune. "Uhh.. here is your fortune- All your plans will come true, though you will pay in the end.- heh heh guess that means your going to destroy the world eh? Sephy"

"No it means I am going to tar and feather you. So that that chocobo thing can ask ya out."

"No ANYTHING but that. I hate Chica the Chocobo!! Noooooo!!!"

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Cloud leaves the Gold Saucer, the place where dreams come true for the Shinra Mansion. It seems that he has in for Vincent next. GASP!! Could he be thinking of making Vincent wear something colourful and fashionable!! The HORROR!! (Meanwhile in the Gold Saucer, Cait is now covered with yellow feathers and being chased by Chica. It appears he said he would marry her if he ever turned into a Chocobo.)

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AN- I know the last chapter sucked, this chapter sucks too, but I am a very serious person trying to be funny, and my sister is away, and no one gets my jokes!!! My sister went away so I had to write the last one and this one by myself. Stupid little twelve year old. I think I might cry. Forgive me for using eh, a lot, I am Canadian and it's a habit.

Veemongal- I am really sorry, I didn't want Cloud to be dumb. It just happened, I mean he is so easy to put in the role of an idiot. Oh and in the American version of the game he says 'mosey' before the go to beat Sephy, but Cid gets mad at him, 'cause its a wimpy word or somethin'.