I might add that there is a real name in here. He was my *twinkling lights and hearts* first real crush. Actually, I think he was my first love. Thank God I moved on…he's now head pimple (Name given by the great DarkRose) at the local McDonald's to make his uni days easier. Bwahahahaha.

Oh yes, and there was a typo in the previous chapter. Prozen doesn't have Gapgi Fever, that would have proved to be too complicated for the plot and it's weird enough. In fact, he's not even suffering from a fever in the first place, so there ;p It's important, but why exactly, I can't tell you ^^ Thanks goes to Colonel-Sama (who probably won't read this because of three taboos: Prozen, Hiltz and the last is having thrown Karl into the dirty little mix.) The reason the thanks is here, is because she had the idea of the whole Karl/Marcus thing and Karl regretting it in one of the earlier fictions of the great Leon Aethelwulf. I sort of expanded on it…

Chapter 11: My responsibility

Looking down at the peaceful form beneath the covers, Karl was once again reminded of how fragile life was. He no longer had any doubt if Raven's story was true. He had seen them with his own eyes.

The resurrection of Ambient.

The Red Sun.

The two brothers had escorted Evelyn into the town a few clicks away and had seen the general chaos. Communications had been the priority now, and people knew Prozen was at large on Zi. Of course, the word 'Reward' had got a lot of attention. There were also people there…who were different. A feeling, just inside his body, a whisper in his heart. Something was Wrong.

There was right and wrong. There was also Right and Wrong, the fundamental gut feeling you got when something was going to happen. The way these people smiled was predatory, they way they looked at you with their cold eyes, sizing you up to how bigger threat you could be. He'd caught one or two of them sniffing him, and that was plain embarrassing.

Now, as he looked down on the crumpled form beneath him, something twisted. His hands began to shake and he swore, softly.

"Wake up. Please wake up." He whispered. When that got no response, he reached down and started to shake the sleeper's shoulder. "Wake up damn it!" Why wouldn't the fever break? He shouldn't be this effected by it!

Karl slumped against the warm body and there was a muffled sob. All of his life, those he had loved were always distant to him with his job. At first it had been okay, but now? No. If only…if only he'd taken the advice when it was given…to walk away…

He didn't want the responsibility anymore. Did Thomas realise how lucky he was? Really?

Hurtful jealousy stabbed his frail heart.

He kept thinking about all the people who he'd lost. How…when Marcus had died…idiot that he was…and Prozen had been so mad. Later on, when they had all met up, he'd had to go and see the minister for himself. And prepared for the worse, too.

"Karl?" The minister asked patiently. He never seems to eat, the major thought. Never. I have never seen him eat one damn thing in all the time I've known him. I mean, he doesn't even pick his nose and eat it.

"Minister Prozen, if I can explain-"

A raised hand, a bid for silence. "There's no need to say you're sorry. There is also no need for explanation. We both know that Lieutenant Marcus Lavont has always been a bit of a loose cannon…if not a liability… to our army. But despite this, major, I'm sorry for your personal loss." They were genuine words of comfort to him, spoken from the heart, and Karl was surprised, deeply so. No one was supposed to know…They'd been so careful… "I know you and the Lieutenant had a life outside your respective jobs…"

"Oh, so you're going to fire me because I'm gay?" Karl snapped. He wasn't the emotional type, but the way the minister was acting was as if it were a crime. It wasn't like his family needed any more heirs to the Shubaltz name, their little sister had gotten pregnant at 15 and was well on the way of having her third child, and quite happy to live off the money her family was giving her.

The minister shook his head. "No. Why should I act as if you've done wrong?"

Well that was a shocker "It's just…I thought…Permission to speak freely sir, and without conviction?"

"Just as long as you don't break down in tears. I can't handle another episode like that after Hommelef came to me about his daughter Marjorie." Came the tired reply.

Karl smiled, despite the feelings inside. He'd never been very good at showing his emotions. "General Nathaniel Evans was very specific in his views. He felt that homosexuality was a bad and unnatural thing, and couldn't comprehend how we felt about each other."

"Well, you were very professional in my eyes." Prozen replied. "Karl?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sure you'll find someone else. It may take a while. I know it sounds unfeeling, but at times, I suspected, you and Marcus were…slightly destructive with each other. There is a piece of advice I feel I must impart on you, if you wish to hear it."

Karl paused, wondering. He was hurt by the words of the minister, even if he knew they were true. "I…suppose so. Yes."

"A wise man once told me that as long you are positive, life will work out. I can understand that right now you feel very upset and hurt inside, but try to stay on top of it. I mean, if you really want to be cynical, at least there's no messy break up you have to worry about."

Was he making a joke? Karl nodded, slowly.

"I may sound unfeeling…but I assure you, I sympathise. I'd like it if you took a little while off to consider your options. You may feel there's no hope anymore, here in the military. I'd be quite happy to boost your superannuation with my own funds should you wish to retire." His face was sad. "I too, lost someone I was close to."

"And did you find someone better?" Karl asked.

"I don't know." Those crimson eyes watched him. Looked into him. Karl felt naked beneath his gaze. "Times change, as do people. And as much as I despise change myself, I move on with it. Such is life."

"…Forgive me for saying this…but I feel as if you have the wrong end of the proverbial stick, minister. You can't just forget someone. Just like that."

"I never said forget them. I said move on. Accept their loss." His brow tightened and Karl saw emotion in the pale face. "I accepted the loss of something a long, long time ago, such is my fate. Feel lucky you still have your health…"

"…and your freedom." Karl whispered aloud, still confused. Was he talking about him? Was he seeking refuge in a lonely major?

There had always been desire from afar. A lot of people had felt that way about the untouchable minister. And now, here was the man himself, broken and in need of help, protection. A surge of emotion made Karl's head spin, a soft desire to protect…yes…his responsibility, he'd do it, he'd protect this man…

Unbidden, he reached out, gently touching his pale lips…moving down…his own mouth parted to kiss-

"KARL!! HELP MEEEEEEE!!"

~ to be continued.

*Grooves to BT's never gonna come back down* Oh yes, I am evil, evilevilevil…cliff hanger…

Sorry Nathan. I couldn't resist. *Raises her cup of tea* Here's to government conspiracies and the story I…helped…you write, you know, the one about toilet in Area 51, and how Monica Lewinski (sp?)…oh, is this thing still on…? Okay, I take full responsibility for that. But hey, it was funny. And it was a great way to pass through physics class. I don't think the teacher ever figured out what we were laughing at!!!