Expendable

By British Chicky

Author's Note - Hm, well I just finished watching "And She Was Gone" again, and I was struck with the urge to write a bit of a short Hoodsie-ish thing. Gotta love the way inspiration has a habit of striking me at 10:30 when my word processor with the spell check is down. I'm considering this a kind of "Look into the mind of Hoodsie" thing. Because I love Hoodsie and I'm sure everyone else does too, but he strikes me as a kind of kid who would get jealous if Carl picked someone else over him - especially if it was a chick. You're going to have to give me an eensy bit of leeway with characterization seeing as I'm a fifteen-year-old girl trying to fit into the mind of an eleven-something boy. And I'm in the U.S., so I have no idea what happened during Foutleys on Ice. If someone cares to tell me, I'd be happy to incorporate it into the fic. *wink wink* Anyway, there go all of my excuses, hope it's not too bad! Review either way! Oh, and one last note - Dilemma next chapter is on the way, party people! *grin*

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I can't believe he gave up the eyeball for her.

Sure, Noelle's a great girl. She's funny, and... well, really weird, and I like her a lot, but... that eyeball was, like, the symbol of Carl and me's friendship! It was everything that we had been through since we were little freaks instead of the just plain old freaks that we are now. Now all I ever hear from Carl is "Noelle this" and "Wouldn't you believe Noelle" that. I've checked the penguin book out of the library before too, you know! I've had to pay late fines on it! But no, when Noelle checks it out, it's something more. Something special. It's like she's taking over my place as his best friend. Even though she's not here all the time - we don't even see her at school or anything - it feels like she's always around. Like an imaginary person or something. It's kinda freaky.

It's like Carl doesn't need me around anymore.

I was always the one who backed him up when he was in trouble. Actually, that was all the time, but that just goes to show you that I was always there! Mrs. Gordon said I was the gullible sidekick... personally, I prefer "faithful" to gullible, but I guess now both of them could work. When Carl was in detention, he would never be there alone because I was always stuck in there with him! Sure, I was never the smart one that came up with the good ideas or anything, but I was always there! Always! Even when I was sure his plans weren't going to work, I was the one who stood by him on the off chance that they would! I suffered through nuclear wedgies for the kid! I went to Higgsby's stupid birthday party because he told me to! Heck, I even went on a night of liquid deprivation to get the petrified eyeball back from Blake, just for him to sell it again!

Sometimes I wish that I still had amnesia.

That's when I got all the attention. For once, I was sort of in control. Carl was the one who had to follow me around trying to get the Hoodsie he knew back. He tells me I was a real pain in the butt that week. But at least I got some attention. I was the one who had to be convinced to be Carl's best friend. If I could do it all over again, I don't know if I would even make the same decision. Okay, so I would have. But if I knew that Noelle was going to come into the picture and then, like, I could go back in time or something, and do it over again, maybe I wouldn't. Or maybe I should just wish that I still had amnesia. Then I wouldn't have to remember ever knowing Carl in the first place.

Mom told me that Brandon was a good best friend. Of course, Mom told me that Carl Foutley was bad news from the start. "At least Brandon was intelligent enough to call you by your proper name, Robert," she always says. Ha. As if Carl was dumb or something. He's the smartest kid I know. I bet he's the only kid in history that's ever passed with an A on one of Gordo's tests. And besides, Carl always thinks of the little things - like wearing goggles if you're going to be around evil eye-pecking birds. Stuff like that. That's what's important.

I haven't gotten to hear any of Carl's great ideas lately. Probably because he's too busy telling them all to Noelle. I'd bet that they've done all kinds of crazy pranks on people. I'd ask him about it, but I don't think I really want to know. He used to always invite me along when he went to Noelle's, and we all had a great time goofing on people. But I started getting left further and further behind in the dust. And then he started going to her house alone. All this crud for someone who was supposed to be expendable.

And now I'm starting to wonder... maybe I'm the expendable one.