The Words Left Unspoken
His Thoughts
Listening to her talk to Rin, I pretended to ignore her presence when in truth her very essence of purity and innocence held me enthralled. From my vantage point under the tree a couple of metres up the bank, I could keep an eye on both the humans in my life. I had no worries about Jaken. The piteous youkai was more than capable of caring for himself and hiding.
Humans. How ironic that two of the beings I hate travel under my protection. Rin, the orphaned girl child who tended to me when I was wounded. The villagers' treatment of her a testament to the cruelty and weakness of those wastes called humans. Her dark, wide eyes, so sorrowful, had called out to me, begging for something I was not sure I could give. I let her follow me, there was no way I could do otherwise.
Jaken had complained long and loud but a few choice words had silenced him. He still holds a strong dislike for Rin and now for Seirou. Rin had changed after I had taken her under my wing. Before, she had been withdrawn and did not speak. Now she is so talkative, always asking questions, smiling and laughing. She never minded my aloof silence.
The kusotarre youkai no ookami Kouga had allowed his wolves to attack Rin when she had gotten lost, killing her. For once I saw use for the so called sword that my father had left me. Tenseiga. Using it, I brought her back to life. Tetsusaiga was the sword that my brother Inuyasha had inherited.
That was a true sword, a weapon of destruction. Unbeatable by any youkai and wasted on my nukesaku of a brother. How I hate him with his human tainted blood and the favour that he gained from my father; favour which had been stolen from me. One day I will get my revenge and Tetsusaiga but not when Rin or Seirou are around.
Seirou. She was everything her name meant and more. Her gentle touch had healed Rin when she had gotten sick, a sickness I suspected that Jaken knew more than he let on about. I had kidnapped her from her villager so that she might perform her skills unhindered by villagers trying to break down her door and to avoid as many as the putrid creatures as possible.
Her attempt to return to the village had been futile and I ended up with another human companion, one who had me feeling strange every time she was near. Her forgiving heart astounded me and continues to do so to this day. The villagers and all else who had done her harm, including the ass kissing, asswipe Jaken after he had tormented her at the beginning. I, naturally had been the one to put an end to it.
Always, I watched her secretly, never letting on that I admired anything about her. My aloof demeanor was too ingrained for me to do anything else. My hatred of humans is still alive. I can never bear to stay amongst them, not like that weakling Inuyasha. Their overwhelmingly rancid scents repelled me as nothing else could. Seirou's scent, however, was one of the sweetest I had ever smelled. She smelled like a forest clearing full of gardenias.
Why do I let her live? Why do I feel so happy when she is around? Why do her moods affect me so easily? Why is it that I feel so possessive towards her? I constantly ask myself these questions but I have yet to receive an answer. It could not be love. I had no room for such a weak emotion in my life. Luckily the mask I wore remained un-cracked so that no one could know my weakness.
Seeing that she was preparing to join Rin in the river, I tried to look away from her and respect her privacy. I could not. My eyes were glued to the vision of loveliness before me that was about to reveal, once more, the hidden perfection beneath the clothes. The feelings she invoked every time she did that were strong and lustful and I forever thank what deity it is that keeps her unaware of my feelings. She would run miles in seconds and try to put distance between us, distance that I can not, will not allow.
Is this how my father felt about Inuyasha's mother? Am I going to follow a path just like his? I know now that my father was not being a senile fool when he took 'her' to wed and produced that hated hanyou. If only things were simpler but they are not. I am a youkai and she is human. My treatment of her has never been warm and I have kept her at a distance the entire time I have come to know her. I am not even entirely sure of my emotions.
Could she love me, care for me? I guess I will never know but for now I am content to watch from a distance.
Well that's all for now. Notice how I've changed her name and left out a description. well that comes in Friday's chapter, the last one. If you guys really wanna guess who it is accurately, try to find out what her name translates to in English. It's a clue. I'll give you the meanings of the other words I used. I also want to say thank you to all who reviewed. You guys surprised me with your enthusiasm. I never expect to see more than six reviews.
I tried my best to portray Sesshoumaru's point of view and the sequence of events. I tried my best to portray it as accurately as I could. Please, if you have any objections and critiques about it, tell me in a review so I can make corrections. Remember to check out the other fics that will be posted on Friday. Read them and be kind by reviewing. Show your approval or disapproval. Don't leave me hanging. Onegai.
Mini Japanese Dictionary
Nukesaku - fool
ookami - wolf
kusotarre - bastard
Onegai - please
seirou - well, y'all gotta figure that one out for yourselves.
Ja ne.
