You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down. Like Christian.

Christian liked to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP.

Well, I came home this one day

And I am really irritated, and

looking for a little sympathy

and there's Christian. layin'

on the couch, drinkin' Absinthe

and chewin'. No, not chewin'.

Poppin'. So, I said to him,

I said, "Christian. , you pop that

gum one more time..."

and he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...

...into his head.

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha you would

Have done the same!
He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would

Have done

The same!

-------------------------------------

I met Toulouse Latreauc from

the red light district about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come work, I'd mix

Him an absinthe,

we'd have dinner. Well, it was

like heaven in two and a half flats.

And then I found out,

"Single" he told me?

Single, my a$$. Not only was he a pimp.

...oh, no, he had six wh0res.

One of those Bohemians,

you know. So that night when

he came home. I mixed him

his drink as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic! He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself

To blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would

Have done the same

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself

to blame

If you'd have been there

If yo'd have seen it

I betcha you would

Have done the same!

Hah! He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh

Cicero, Lipschitz!
Now, I'm standing backstage

putting on my contsume

minding my own business,getting ready to perform

and in storms the Duke

in a jealous rage.

"You been screwin' the writer,"

he says. He was crazy

and he kept screamin',

"you been screwin the writer!"

And then he ran into my hairpins.

He ran into my hairpins ten times!

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

*leaves it in Hungarian*

Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet

en meg lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem

tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen

megmagyarazni de nem ertettek meg...

Yeah, but did you do it?

UH UH, not guilty!

----------------------------------------------

My sister, Satine, and I did this double act

and my husband, Christian, used to travel

round with us. Now for the last number in

our act, we did these 20 bum flashes

in a row, one, two, three, four, five...

Splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops,

one right after the other.

Well, this one night

we are in Moulin Rouge,

the three of us,

chuggin and havin' a few

laughs and we ran out Absinthe

so I went out to get some.

I come back, open the door

And there's Satine and

Chriatian doing Number Seventeen 456123485612456123456123786156365

THE BUM FLASH!

Well, I was in such a state of drunkenness, I completely belted out,

I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was

Working my vocal cords I even knew they were dead!

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along.

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

I loved Christian

more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a poet.

But he was troubled.

He was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Velma,

Roxie,

Liz and Annie.

I guess you can say we broke

up because or artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead.

The dirty bum, flash, flash, flash, flash

The dirty bum, flash, flash, flash, flash

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

All along

All along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us

And they abused us

And they abused us

How could you tell us

How could you tell us

That we were wrong?

That we were wrong?