Title: Some Wishes

Author: Moonbeam

Rated: PG13

Disclaimer: They all belong to Joss. Grr....Argh, and all that stuff.

Timeline: Buffy-S5. Shortly after Joyce's death.

Pairings: X/A. W/T. B/A with some B/S undertones.

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Prologue:

I'm not really a witch. You know, not technically. I'm the Slayer. The Chosen One. I usually *kill* the 'big bads.' Not summon them. But I'm still human. A girl, just like any other. Maybe I was built to have strength. Resilience. Power. But I'm still me. Buffy Summers. Sister, friend, and at times, girlfriend. I feel and cry and breathe like the rest of them. I have weakness. I have flaws.

They never truly understood it. How someone could be so strong and so fragile at the same time. I remember when Xander told me I was his hero. I could have strangled him. Because I never asked to be chosen. To be picked and given this "gift" that I can't shake off. Ever. But to be someone's ideal. Someone's role model. It's too much. It would be considered too much for any ordinary girl. So why me? Why am I so lucky? So special?

I just wanted to make things a little bit better. To fix just a tiny corner of my life. Just for one day. But, boom, something went wrong. Backfired. I really should have figured as much. God...I should have known. I was stupid to believe otherwise, I guess. When have I ever been given so much as a breather? Never.

My Mommy. She was the *only* person in the entire universe who still knew me as her baby girl. My friends, my sister, my Watchers. They all knew me as 'Buffy Summers: Hero.' But to her? To my Mom? I was just 'Buffy.'

And now she's gone. Dead. In the ground. She was all I could count on. Could depend on to always be there for me. She was the strong one in real life. And now, I've lost her. I've looked everywhere, but she's gone. And I don't know where she went or how I can get her back. Okay, so consciously, I know she's gone. I've seen it every single day for the past five years. But emotionally? *Why* can't she kiss me goodnight anymore? *Why* can't she smooth back my hair? Somebody, please, tell me. Why?Why?Why?

All I wanted was to pull her back in. Not forever...but for a moment. I needed her so, so much. I still do. I always will. But everything got complicated. It always does. You want to hear my story? I'm not going anywhere. But I'm warning you now.

It doesn't end with the words '...they all lived happily ever after.'

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