Title: Daddy's Girl

Author: Lozz

E-mail: darkersideofthevalley@hotmail.com

Archiving: Well if you want it, firstly your mad and secondly you can have it, but let me know ok!

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: As you well know all these characters belong to Joss!

Dedication: Well this one is for my mate, my partner in crime, the other half to the demon teen duo and most probably the only person that understands my warped little mind.love you loads Wil x X x x

Introduction: Ok this may get a little confusing.BUFFY SEASON 6 AND 7 SPOILERS! ANGEL SEASONS 3 AND 4 SPOILERS. Spike is back in Sunnydale and living in his crypt and not the school basement and he's not mad, well not really. Is it Spike's baby? Will Buffy let him play happy families and how will Spike deal when everything he's ever wanted is about to be taken away from him?

**************************************************

Daddy's Girl

He rolled over in bed again and pulled his knees up tightly to his chest. He hadn't slept, just laid there silently for hours now. Every time he let his eyes close he saw them; he heard them cry as he sunk smooth white fangs into soft pink flesh, saw the look of terror on their faces as his demon surfaced before them, he felt her struggle beneath him on the cold bathroom tiles.

It was a week since he had returned from Sunnydale. He'd sat alone in his crypt since then, only the picture show of death, pain and complete darkness that played in front of his eyes to keep him company. Sometimes it stopped though, when he was strong enough to take over, fill his head with happy thoughts. Then it was ok, just for a while he could be at peace, it was all ok then.

It felt like only yesterday he had wanted her more than anything he had wanted before, but she didn't feel it, she would never feel it, that's what made him so mad. He still loved her, he'd never stopped and now he had to make it right, or at least try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the sun fell from the sky and orange melted into black he pulled on a pair of jeans, deep purple shirt and a scruffy denim jacket before stuffing a packet of fags into his pocket.

The cemetery was cold and lonely, but not for him, every smell, every noise, every headstone brought memories flooding back. The times they'd fought together beneath the stars. The times they'd argued and he'd not been able to take his eyes off the way her nose wrinkled when she scowled. And the times she'd polished off a hard day by kicking him from crypt to crypt purely for the fun of it. He missed her.

As he reached the main road, his mind filled with doubt. He'd hurt her so much, she would forgive, she'd never forget. Why was he doing this, she didn't need it, not now, not ever. The fourth cigarette in fifteen minutes met his lips, his hands trembled slightly and if his heart could beat he was pretty sure it would be bursting through his ribcage about now.

The house looked smaller then he remembered and the garden tidier but the same familiar orange glow shone from behind the living room curtains. He felt sick. It seemed as though the garden path took hours to walk, every step slow and drawn out, no going back.

He stood on the doorstep, sensitive hearing picking up the laughter from the friends inside. He felt more alone now than ever. As he knocked he knew this was it, and he played his speech over one last time in his head before a figure appeared behind the frosted glass panelling and a key turned in the lock. The door opened and before he could speak he was lying on his back in the gravel, blood pouring from his lip and a dull pain in his jaw. He looked up, shocked and a little disorientated.

"Stay away Spike" Xander snarled from the doorway.

"But I." he pleaded.

"No Spike, you've caused enough trouble around here, just leave her alone!"

The door closed before he could reply and he was left in the darkness again, alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next night he waited in the cemetery, hidden at all times by bushes or headstones; he couldn't risk being seen by anyone else, not yet. He knew where she'd go, the places she always went, favourite places to patrol.

One, two, three hours and she didn't show. Xander and Willow swept through the West Side and then returned with Dawn to do the East a few minutes later, but still no Buffy. He wondered where she was. Did she have a new job? A new man? Where were Tara and Anya and how was Dawn doing at school? He missed being in the loop; he missed his 'friends'

Seven nights after that he waited, watched the Scoobies pass by but still no slayer. Was something wrong? Why did he feel like this? He was angry and worried and scared and sorry all at the same time, a big bubble of emotion that was swelling up inside him. He'd given up everything to make it up to her; he was going through this pain for her and now he couldn't even see her, couldn't even explain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He headed back to the house again, desperate now and scared. He could see the happy smiles of the friends inside the warm living room. He shivered. Briefly he saw her; she breezed through into the kitchen looking happy and healthy. He smiled, smiled until they hit him again hard in the face; images of her, of him, of the bathroom as he held her down, heard her cry and felt her small frame stiffen beneath him. He couldn't believe he had done that to her, couldn't believe he'd even tried.

They stayed with him all the way home. He walked through the darkness back to the crypt, eyes fixed straight ahead, mind blank. As he got inside he curled up on the bed, gripping tightly at the covers, holding on and holding on hard. He didn't want to go back to that place, wouldn't let those people show themselves again. Not now.

The idea hit him out of nowhere, why did he not think of that before?

Hurriedly he rummaged through his things until he found a pen and paper hidden at the bottom of a chest. He let the words flow out forming endless pools of inky black nonsense on the crisp white paper. His whole story, thoughts, feelings, endless apologies and as the sealed envelope fell silently onto Buffy's doormat in the early hours of the next morning he knew he'd done all he could for now; the ball was in Buffy's court.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The blood was sweet and warm as it ran from the mug to his lips and then swept gently down his throat. The TV was playing to itself, some black and white movie he usually would have enjoyed. The heavy stone door opened slowly and he leapt up from the chair, startled more than anything. Visitors weren't exactly queueing up these days. Nervously and silently she swept towards him, stopping only inches away, so he could feel her warm breath gentle against his neck. He was expecting a stake anytime now but as they stood in silence he noticed her smiling. Why was she smiling?

"Buffy" he whispered gently. "I.."

"It's okay" she replied, her voice soft and warm. "I know, I knew before you even came back what had happened, it's okay Spike, it's all going to be okay."

He looked back at her, slightly confused and a little shocked

"What?"

"The prophecies Spike, it's all written down, word for word, your soul."

A soft finger gently touched his lips before he could speak again.

Buffy stepped back from him slowly, the comforting smile still on her face. Slowly she unzipped her unusually large coat and let it fall softly onto the chair behind her. Standing before him, practically glowing, a black vest-like top clung tightly to her body, pressing firmly against a large rounded stomach, which rested proudly beneath her hands. He hadn't noticed before but now it was so obvious.

"Flippin' eck Summers, you got over me quickly didn't you?" he grinned, touching her arm gently, reassuringly. "That thing looks like is going to pop."

"Seven months" she smiled.

"Seven.seven, oh bloody hell Buffy, you must have been."

"It's yours" she interrupted bluntly, causing Spike to shuffle back a little and laugh.

"Yeah, because we all know how incredibly fertile us vamps are don't we?"

Buffy looked at him directly, causing him to regret that little outburst. Unsteadily she lowered herself into his chair and nodded approvingly as he perched himself on the edge of the coffee table at her feet. She began to tell him about what had happened while he was away. Spike listened contentedly as she explained how Darla had fallen pregnant with Angel's son, a son born a matter of months ago but who was already well into his teens. Surprisingly his expression didn't change when she broke the news of Darla's death. Maybe somehow, he knew. All summer the Scoobies had researched the life growing inside of Buffy; they'd found nothing. Drawn blanks everywhere they looked. Until only a few weeks ago in England Giles had stumbled across an old text which talked of 'The Four'. It told of two vampires, vampires with souls, who would bring children into this world for a reason. What the reason was hadn't yet been deciphered but Angel was working on it back at the Hyperion.

Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. Stunned he looked into her crystal blue eyes and then down at her stomach, flitting between the two as he let it sink in. One of the things that William had longed for but Spike had grown to face he would never have. His whole body tingled.

Buffy beckoned to him and he fell to his knees before her. Lovingly she took his cool hand and placed it palm down on her stomach. He felt a tiny twitch as his child, their child, kicked. He grinned madly and giggled a little, knowing for a fact he was the happiest man in any dimension right now. He rested his head in her lap and she gently stroked his hair.

"I could never hurt it Buffy, never hurt you."

"I know" she sighed, gently moving his hand a little as the baby kicked again. "I know Spike."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spike had let himself get caught up in the moment. Of course he wanted to be a dad, more than anything, but how could he be, really? He stood up and paced the crypt. "It's not going to work" he said frantically. "How can it work?"

Buffy looked back at him, a little startled by his outburst

"It's going to be like what's his face.Connor; kid'll wonder why daddy can't go out and play with it, why daddy can't take it to school or take it out places. Sooner or later the poor thing's going to find out daddy's a monster, I'm evil, I've killed people Buffy, for God's sake I'm not even alive!"

Buffy looked, longing to say the words that would make it all better but she knew everything he had said was true, every word. Nothing she could say or do would change that. He looked at her as they waited in silence, neither one knowing quite where they went from here.

"I've always wanted this." Spike smiled. "Or at least I did. Family, like old times, but the kid deserves better, and so do you."

Buffy knew that she couldn't make this better, she hadn't expected it all to be ok, but she'd hoped Spike would be there, play the father figure.

"I'll walk you home" he nodded, handing her her coat. The pair left in silence, lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It helped a little, gave him something to focus on. Every time his mind was invaded, he filled it with thoughts of Buffy and her baby. It hurt so much that he couldn't be part of their world, it wasn't his baby anymore, it was hers.

Sometimes he'd leave little presents on the doorstep; teddies, trinkets. He'd even managed to get hold of the cutest little pair of booties, pink with lace edging. He hoped it would be a girl. He never went inside though, couldn't face her, and he knew the others wouldn't be as quick to take him back.

Dru had always liked children; she used to keep them for days, girls, they were her favourite. It was like they could see into her world, past the demon, right to the point where she could see stars through the ceiling and pretty colours on solid grey walls. Never lasted long when she got bored though; he'd have to get rid of the bodies, tiny little delicate bodies. No matter how evil he was he always hated that part. Always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He'd not been home long, decided to do a bit of patrolling because, even though they meant well, the Scoobies always missed spots and it gave him something to do. He'd just managed to get the mud off his boots when the door burst open and Xander stood looking rather flustered in the entrance.

"In the car Spike" he blurted as Spike just raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"She wants you, just get in the car."

Spike didn't need much convincing once he knew it was Buffy at the other end of this and as the car sped off he turned to Xander. "Hey, this isn't the way to Buffy's."

"Yeah."

"So where are we going then?"

"Hospital."

"Why?"

"Buffy's having the baby Spike and as much as I hate to say it she wants you there. Why I have no idea. Personally I think she's gone mad, but not wanting to let a friend down here I'm taking you to her."

"No I can't.we agreed.I'm not."

"Oh shut up Spike" Xander snapped. "For once just be there for her will you!"

They arrived at the hospital and Spike followed Xander inside through endless clean smelling corridors and up several staircases until they reached maternity.

Dawn and Anya sat on blue plastic chairs outside a small room looking tired; Willow was inside with Buffy, holding her hand as endless screams echoed past them. The four stood waiting for what seemed like years, Spike feeling very much the outsider. It went on for hours, screams, cries and knowing Buffy the destruction of several pieces of medical equipment, until silence. Pure silence broken only by the shrill cry of a new born. Tears rolled down Dawn's face as she hugged Anya, and Xander shook Spike's hand firmly. "Congratulations" he said, forcing out a smile which soon turned into a grin that threatened to take over his whole face.

Several doctors left the room, followed by Willow. "Just remind me never to have kids" she beamed, falling into Xander's arms.

"Can we go in?" Dawn asked jumping up from her seat.

"She.she wants to see Spike first" Willow whispered, patting him gently on the forearm.

He entered the room slowly, his stomach in knots; he'd never been this scared before, ever. Buffy sat beneath crisp blue and white sheets, her cheeks pink and hair ruffled. Her face was streaked with tears but he'd never seen her look so happy before, her whole body glowed. He kissed her gently on the cheek before moving to the small glass crib which lay beside her; a small pink bundle, so tiny, lay wriggling slightly at the bottom. Two electric blue eyes looking back up at him, he felt his whole body melt and flow away from him. "Can I?" he asked gently, Buffy nodded and carefully he picked her up. She was so delicate; he was scared that if he touched her too much she would break. Standing by the window looking down at the twinkling orange and silver lights of the busy streets below, he held his daughter to his chest, five tiny fingers gripping tightly onto his thumb. She'd got her mother's strength, that was for sure! She was so beautiful, more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen. He tried to stop it but a single tear left his eye and landed gently on her forehead. Nothing else seemed to matter now; the world outside this room, Sunnydale, the Hellmouth, it didn't exist, and as long as he had her he was the happiest man alive. Or dead, as the case may be.

Reluctantly he handed her back to Buffy and climbed on the bed beside her. "She's amazing" he whispered.

"She's ours" Buffy replied.

Soon enough the others joined them, all gathering around to take photos and make funny noises that scared Spike slightly. He gripped Buffy's hand tightly, as if letting go might somehow cancel everything out, leave him in the crypt again on his own. "So" Willow said eventually. "Does this beautiful thing have a name then?"

Buffy looked at Spike. "Well, I always liked Amy for a girl."

Spike smiled. "Amy it is then."

He wanted this night to go on forever, just him, Buffy and Amy. No demons, no monsters, no prophecies or fights, just that little room and the feeling he got every time he saw her tiny little face. Pure and unchangeable love.

Neither of them slept that night, just cradled Amy between them and talked about the future, how everything would work out. He knew that everything he had said didn't mean a thing to Buffy now, he couldn't give them up and he couldn't leave them. Amy was everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was nearly mid-day when the doctors said she could leave. Hidden under a blanket, Spike followed a proud mum and baby out of the hospital and into the back of Xander's car. He didn't care about the looks he got from other patients and visitors. Infact they could walk over and slap him in the face and he wouldn't care; nothing else seemed important any more.

It had been agreed that Spike would stay at Buffy's, he didn't want to miss a thing. As he walked in the smell of vanilla hit him, Buffy smell, it made his skin tingle. Xander had gone back to work, Dawn was at school, much to her displeasure, and Willow had headed into the kitchen to cook them up some lunch. Spike followed Buffy upstairs and into her room. A tall white crib stood proudly next to the bed, a thick cotton blanket embroidered with teddy bears lay folded neatly in the corner and a giant pink bunny sat beside soft cream pillows. There were more teddies, many of which Spike had bought, placed lovingly around the legs, and a delicately made mobile with little stars and planets hung carefully above it. As Buffy laid the smiling little bundle down Spike slipped his arms gently around her waist and as she turned to face him, resting herself against his chest and sighing, he kissed her forehead. "No matter what" he whispered as he held her tightly and gazed down at Amy over her shoulder "I'm going to give her everything she ever needs. I'll always be there for her Buffy, for you, I'll always be here."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy slept for most of the afternoon and well into the evening only waking to feed Amy and have a quick shower.

That night she woke gently to a darkened room. She lay still for a few seconds before rolling over to get a better look at the figure sat at the end of her bed. Spike sat cradling Amy, rocking her gently. He was singing a lullaby, not much more than a whisper; he sang softly, a voice that made her skin tingle. "Rock-a-bye-baby." She planted a silky soft kiss on his neck causing him to jump a little. She rested her chin on his shoulder looking down at their baby in his strong arms. As Amy drifted off to sleep he placed her back in the crib and turned back to Buffy. Much to his surprise she pulled him down onto the bed next to her and covered them both with the blankets before snuggling down into his arms. Things couldn't get much better than this. It was perfect.