Okay, all you fans who have been waiting!!! If it isn't already obvious, this be-eth chapter three!! Isn't that cool? This calls for me singing the smuttony song…
'Smuttony, smuttony, smut, smut, smut, smut, smu-u-tto-ny….'
Oh, by the way, smut is really a word. It's either a.) the blackening with soot, smoke, etc. b.) dirty pictures, potty mouth speech and/or potty mouth writing c.) A certain fungus of the plants, which causes black patches
There!! You now learned a new word. Use it wisely, my friend.
Tails does the crime--but must he do the Time?
Chapter Tres (Spanish for three): Will the Real Slim Shady Please Shut up? Please Shut up? –and- Lookit the Birdie!!!!
Instead of going the long, twisty way that Sonic went through, Tails jumped of the ground, the right side of it, and flew for a few moments until he reached the metal path. Tails was already ahead of Sonic.
"All right!!" Sonic cheered from behind.
Tails flew off to gain some more being-ahead-ness, while Sonic continued cheering,
"You made it!!"
Tails flew for most of the level, just so he could be ahead of Sonic. He hardly had to touch the ground, and took every short cut visible. Tails freed the animals before Sonic did.
"Great job, little buddy!!" Sonic happily said, when he finally got to where Tails was.
"Great. Now can you help me?"
"With what?"
"Well, first of all, I have a question. How is the metal pathway able to stay in the air? It can't be held from something above, and there is no support from underneath. What makes it so suspended??"
"If you can't answer it, then I certainly can't. Anything else?"
"Ah, yes…well…see…I tried throwing an old guy into the water, but he just kept coming back!! There was no drowning this guy!!"
"You shouldn't throw old men into the water."
"I know…but still…"
"Maybe he's some kind of evil undrownable monster, come to take over the earth!! And he uses the burger place as his evil secret HQ. He offers doughnuts to people and says 'hey person, want a cookie?'"
"Um…right…Sonic, you okay?"
"BEWARE THE EVIL COOKIE-DOUGHNUT-THING OF DOOM!!!! DEFEAT IT BEFORE IT DEFEATS YOU!!!!!"
"I'll go ask Knuckles…"
"BEWARE!!!!! BEWARE!!!!!!!!!"
Tails tried to leave, but Sonic stopped him.
"You can't leave!! I still need to make you AWARE!!!"
"It's okay, I got the point!!"
"You see, once upon a time--"
"Look!! Amy's coming this way!!!!!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"That trick works every time…but…I wonder why he's so scared of Amy…"
*************FLASHBACK MODE*******************
Tails-"The ship's losing altitude!!"
Sonic-"You take Amy outta this ship and to a safe place!!"
Tails-"Okay!!"
-------On the way to a safe place---------
Amy-"Birdie!!! Birdie birdie birdie birdie birdie birdie birdie!!!!!!!!"
Tails- "Amy, that gets really annoying!!"
Amy- "Ha, your only line was, 'this ship's losing altitude!'"
Tails- "Shaddup."
Amy- "Birdie!"
Tails-"If Sonic weren't such a goody-goody, I'd drop her right here and now…"
Amy-"BIRDIE!!!!!!!!!"
********************END FLASHBACK MODE***********************
"Oh yeah. Now I remember." Tails said to himself. He then got up and flew to Angel Island.
***
Angel Island was, surprisingly, not falling. When Tails landed, Knuckles was listening to rap music.
"Hey Knuckles." said Tails.
"Yo, yo, yo, wazzup bro.?"
"Um…really, you're cool without the whole 'rapping' bit…"
No, I ain't!! I rap to live!!!!"
"Okay…well, since you're so well, acquainted with rap stars, you must know of their crimes."
"Oh yeah, hell yeah!!"
"Yeah…I tried chucking an old guy into the water, but he survived. And I'll get arrested. So, I dunno…what do the rap stars do, like, say, when the police find them with crack?"
"Yo, yo, bro, they's stash it up all ovah' into da places whe da' police don find 'em!"
"Yeah, yeah…" Tails commented, taking notes.
"Oh, hell yeah, an 'den, when they's get busted up by dah police, they's gonna pay 'dem frickin' money!!"
"You mean like bribing?"
"Yeah, bro, what you tink I's be talkin' 'bout?"
Tails checked over his notes.
"Hey!!! These notes are for people on crack, not people who throw old men into the water!!!"
"Oh well. Bro."
Tails flew away. He went to Station Square. As he was passing overhead, he saw that the old man was still laughing evilly.
Tails soon found a bench, one far away from the old person.
"Arg…what am I gonna do? What'll I do!?" Tails got up to begin walking about. When suddenly, he tripped and fell over, on top of someone.
"Ack!! I'm sorry!!"
"That's okay." said a familiar female voice. Tails looked up.
"Akkkkkk!!!! Amy!?!!?" Tails immediately got up.
"Don't get any funny ideas." he remarked.
"Of course I won't. You're too cowardly to. Virgin."
"What!?! I could do you right here and now!!!"
"Fine, try me. But pigs will fly once you can muster up enough courage."
"Grrrrrrrrr! I'll show you!!!" He stepped forward.
"AHHHHH!! What am I thinking?! I have a problem, I don't have time for this!!!!"
"See what I mean? Coward."
"I'll do someone. You'll see!!! Wait, you won't see, because I'd prefer my privacy. You just don't have any sex appeal, that's all."
"I'm the only main female character!!! What do you expect, a sequel of this game to come out which includes a busty, scantily-clad, female bat who seeks jewels and works for the government?!?!?!"
"… … …That's oddly specific…"
"You said you have a problem? I can help you."
"Well…might as well give it a shot." Tails and Amy sat at a nearby bench.
"So you see, I threw an old person into the water, he survived, and he's going to call the police…any day now…"
"Hmm…I have only one thing to say…"
"What is it?"
"BIRDIE!!!!!!!"
"WWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAATT!?!?!"
"Chicken butt."
And with that, Amy left.
"Oh, what do I do, WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!?!" Tails yelled to himself, holding his head in both hands and thinking how to get out of this situation.
************************************************************************
END CHAPTER TRES
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Okay, I guess I should tell you now. This story is mainly based on this funny little thing that happens in Sonic Adventure 1.
First step-choose either Tails or Amy (I haven't checked to see if this trick works on all characters, but it probably does).
Second step-Go to Station Square.
Third step- Go to the Burger place.
Fourth step- Pick up the old man statue located near the Burger place.
Fifth step- Go to the mini-beach-type place, between the dock and Twinkle Park.
Sixth step- run down to the edge of the sand where the water begins, and keep running 'til you can run no longer. Then jump up and throw the statue.
Seventh step-sit back and watch the old man statue slide all the way back to the sidewalk.
Oh, yes, before I forget-I have nothing against Amy. She's an obscure character who doesn't get the attention she deserves. I have nothing against Knuckles. I just think his rap music sounds funny. I have nothing against Sonic. I just think he's…what do I think of Sonic? I have nothing against Tails. He is, after all, my favorite character.
Well, that's about it for today. See ya'!
