Disclaimer: Chrono Cross isn't mine, in case you hadn't guessed. If I'd created Chrono Cross, then Harle would be alive, Karsh would marry Riddel, Guile really would be Magus, all those Trigger characters wouldn't be killed off, and there would be a lengthy hot-tub scene involving Norris, sex toys, and a can of whipped cream (kidding!!). Anyway, CC belongs to those all-powerful geniuses down at Square. Too bad.
Third Wheel
He was the one who had to tell her. He had been there, he was her closest friend now, and it was his job to break the news.
That didn't make the prospect any more pleasant.
He rapped softly on her bedroom door, and Riddel opened it. Her maid wasn't in.
"Karsh? You're back!" Riddel greeted. "Where's Dario?"
Karsh's face was solemn, but he tried to keep eye contact with her.
Her hand flew to her mouth. "Please, nothing has happened to Dario!"
Of course, Karsh thought bitterly, She always thinks about Dario first. Never worries about me, no. The logical part of his mind told him that why should she worry about Karsh – he was standing right there. Karsh told the logical part of his mind to get lost.
"I'm sorry," Karsh said. The words felt strange on his lips – he never apologized. "At the Isle of the Damned – monsters got him. I tried – "
Then Riddel had her arms around him, crying into his shoulder. Karsh tried not to think about the fact that Riddel was mashed up against his body, and more on the fact that she needed comfort after her love had passed away.
Not used to this sort of thing, Karsh awkwardly patted her back. Well, this is a lot more pleasant than Glenn's reaction. He immediately thought that I had done it and took a swing at me.
Karsh was surprised when he felt his eyes begin to burn. He bit his lip until it bled to keep from crying, but he didn't shed a tear. He would be strong for Riddel.
~*~
It wasn't until he returned to his quarters that it fully hit Karsh. He'd been in a sort of shock for days, but now it hit him. Dario was dead. Not some stupid rival, not some evil guy possessed by a sword, not 'that asshole who took Riddel away from me'. It had been Dario, his greatest friend for as long as he could remember.
And Karsh had killed him. It was his fault.
"Shit." He leaned against the doorframe, closing his eyes. "God, I'm sorry, Dario." Guilt weighed down on him, and he had to sit down.
He sat on his bed, running his hands through his hair. "Why…" Maybe… maybe Dario hadn't been truly possessed at all. Maybe Karsh had hated him so much, he was just looking for an excuse to kill the guy. It was crazy, and he knew it wasn't true (or was it?), but he couldn't help thinking it.
He'd been envious, even jealous of Dario for years. What if he didn't remember the events correctly? What if it had actually been Karsh possessed by the Masamune, driven by his jealousy to kill Dario? That was more believable than Dario, the perfect dragoon, straying off the path of perfection.
Each idea was even more twisted and insane than the last, and he couldn't help believing them all.
Dario… I can't believe you're dead, but I can believe I killed you.
~*~
If killing Dario was the best moment of my life, then the following years were the worst. (Three years of pain to pay for one moment of ecstasy. How… fitting.) So you're thinking, 'great, Dario's dead, now go for the girl'. Not. Even if I'd even considered trying, (which admittedly I had considered) I would not do it. Riddel would never have looked at another man for years, if at all – she's just that devoted kind of person, and that's why I love her.
I just wanted to be around to support her – not that at that point I was able to support anything, including myself. I got myself dead drunk that night (something I do suprisingly little – ever since I had my hair hacked off after passing out drunk at a party one night, I became rather paranoid. Marcy did it – who else would?). But after experiencing the result, I decided I would never drink again. One night of oblivion is definitely not worth one morning of agony.
Of course I had other motivations beside avoiding hangovers – Riddel needed me (as a friend) and I wasn't about to let her down. I'd end up spending all my free time with her, just trying to console her and cheer her up (of course that made Glenn even more certain that I killed Dario, and was making my move for Riddel. Dario never figured out that I had feelings for Riddel, and neither did Riddel herself – but Glenn is a lot more insightful than people give him credit for).
After the first couple years, our lives were back on track. There were still only three Devas (come on, you think any guy as good as Dario is gonna just show up at our doorstep?), but the kingdom hadn't crumbled, and life went on. Riddel never got over it, and neither did Glenn… I know for a fact they both left bellflowers at his grave every week. (God, those damn bellflowers again. I tend to step on them every time I see them. They're so ugly, and they smell awful. What is so goddamn great about bellflowers??). I never went with them (I'm not into cheesy ceremonial stuff anyway), but I went sometimes on my own. I always got mixed feelings from going there – terrible guilt, like Dario's ghost was standing there, hating me for what I did – or a strange peace, like he had forgiven me or something.
Bah, it's probably the former.
