A/N: I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get this chapter out. I've been sick and so busy with class that I feel
like I'm about to scream because I've got so much work to do. That and I'm trying to prepare all of my music for my
voice recital and a singing competition where I'm doing all different repetoire for it so my butt is in the practice room.
Whenever I'm not in class or reading, listening or writing for all of my other classes and rehersing for my acting class.
Again I am so sorry it took foreverme to get this out. I hit a bit of a dry spell but I think I'm over that now so I've
started to write this chapter. Aren't you all glad?! Thank you all for being patient and not pestering me to hurry up. I
really appreciate it because it's a lot of work being a senior performance major in college and my school takes prescedence
over writing this fic unfortunately.
Hopefully this chapter will be a lot more interesting than the last one because I felt like
the last one was a bit boring but necessary for obvious reasons. I couldn't help but make
Harry curse, that just seemed so obvious and easy but I almost made Sev do something stupid
and say something completely stupid but I stopped myself before I did it. Aren't you all
proud?! ;-) But I'll stop rambling now since I've seemed to have done enough of that and
get on with chapter 8 since I'm sure that's what you guys want. ENJOY!!!!!!

Chapter 8


Draco wasn't entirely sure how to feel about everything that was going on with Harry. He was confused about it why Harry did
what he did. He could never understand why somebody would intentionally harm themselves. After everything, all the pain
that Harry had been through in his short life, he couldn't understand why he would intentionally cause himself pain. As an
abused child himself his brain just couldn't fathom why.

Severus and Draco returned to the manor that night and came back early the next morning. When the nurse came in to check
everything over Severus asked how the night had gone. She said that Harry had had a terrible nightmare and had to be given
a sleeping agent to get him back to sleep so he would be asleep for several more hours. Apparently the nightmare was so bad
that it caused some problems with his breathing as well and had to be given another treatment. Only then did Severus notice
that the level was even lower than the previous day. Not by much, but some.

Draco was very worried. He knew that Harry would have some form of psychological problems because of everything that had
happened to him. It's almost impossible for a person not to.

Harry woke up later in the morning because of a pounding headache and feeling incredibly nauseous. He seriously felt like
he was going to vomit from being on the feeding tube. He knew that there was no way that he could do that though. His
father, Draco and the doctors and nurses would see to that. He could say that the gas or the nightmare made him
nauseous but he thought that that was highly unlikely.

Even he didn't have his glasses on and they weren't talking Harry knew that Severus and Draco were in the room with him.
Finally Severus spoke up and said,

"I was told you had a nightmare last night."

If his shoulders weren't still restrained Harry would have shrugged but instead he just said in a flat voice,

"Yeah. So?"

"Well I was told that it was a very bad one. That you practically had an attack."

"Your point being?" Harry replied in the same flat voice

Severus let out a small, suffering sigh and said,

"Harry I've had just about enough of this attitude. I thought we got past this. I am just trying to talk and help you."

Harry turned his blazing, unfocused eyes towards his father's voice and said,

"Yeah well guess what. I don't need your help. I have been having nightmares ever since I could remember and I've
survived this long without help so I damned well don't need it now."

Harry turned his gaze back to the ceiling and mumbled

"You'd have one too if you were stuck like this all alone in what you believe to be Hell."

To say that Draco and Severus were shocked was an understatement. Draco got an idea though, he said,

"Father I'd like to talk to Harry so could you leave us alone for a bit?"

Severus nodded, stood up and left the room. Draco turned his chair so that he and Harry could look eachother in the eyes
and Harry wouldn't have to turn his head to see him. After a few moments Draco said,

"Harry you know that Dad's only trying to help."

"Well he's got an odd way of showing it." Harry said bitingly

"You may think that Harry but in actuality he's not. If he didn't care he would've just let you continue on with this.
But he doesn't want that to happen to you. You are his son."

"So are you." Harry retorted

"Yes, by adoption Harry, not by blood. You are his son by blood."

Harry merely rolled his eyes and Draco continued,

"What I don't understand is why you would do this to yourself Harry. I don't know your reasons for making yourself throw
up the food you eat. You have been a stick since the day that I first saw you back before first year in Madame Malkin's.
I don't understand why when you're so skinny to begin with that you would force yourself to throw up to be even skinnier.
All I want to know is why.

"I care about you just as much as Dad does. You're the only brother that I will ever have. And just because we didn't get
along for a while doesn't mean that I'm not going to let that get in the way of having the kind of relationship I've always
wanted. You told me about all the times that you would see your Aunt, Uncle and Cousin interracting as a family and always
wishing for that kind of love. Well you have it now, so why are you trying to push Dad and I away? You know we only want
what's best for you."

Harry had lost some of the steely gaze but still had a bit in effect and said slightly nodding his head

"You want to know why? You really do? I didn't want to get fat. Yes I did tell you about how I craved the kind of love
that my Aunt and Uncle gave my Cousin but I hated how spoiled and fat he was. Every single time I ended up in the hospital
wing or the hospital in general I would lose muscle and gain weight. I don't want to get fat like my cousin."

"But Harry you've described your cousin to me and you're nowhere near being as big as he is. I didn't even know that this
was going on."

"Neither did Dad, I was using concealing charms to make me look normal."

Draco was confused.

"Then how did he find out?"

"He came into my room after everybody went to bed on my birthday and I came out of the bathroom in only my boxers without
the charms up because I didn't think anybody would come in."

"Well I'm glad that he did. I mean looking at you now I see just how skinny you are. Do you even know how much you
weigh right now?"

Harry shook his head and Draco said,

"I asked the doctor and he said you only weighed 6 and a half stone Harry. That is way too skinny. That is dangerous.
I'm surprised that you could function normally. You know Dad doesn't even know this but Narcissa was anorexic.
She wouldn't allow herself to eat hardly anything. She didn't make herself throw up like you or Dad's mum did but she
wouldn't hardly eat. She felt like she couldn't be anything but waif thin because that didn't fit with the image of a
prominent and wealthy pureblood family. Not becoming of the wife of a Malfoy. Why do you think I'm so skinny?"

"Draco I'm sorry. I didn't know that it was that bad, and I'm sorry about Narcissa."

"You don't have to be sorry about Narcissa Harry. But surely you could see and knew that you had gone too far."

"I think in the back of my mind that I knew but I didn't acknowledge it."

"Yeah Harry and now look where it's gotten you. This was drastic Harry. Dad said that he hadn't seen you that skinny
since he went to get you last summer from your relatives."

Harry closed his eyes and fought off the memories of the previous summer. The nightmares, starving days and nights,
beatings, seemingly endless chores. He wanted nothing more than to completely forget about last summer and all of his
time with the Dursleys. Draco saw this and said,

"Harry you okay?"

Harry involuntarily shuddered as much as he could in the restraints and took in a sharp and shuddering breath and said,

"I think so, just trying to not think about last summer or my time with the Dursleys in general."

"Oh God Harry I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that but do you see now the point I'm trying to make."

Harry merely nodded his head because he knew just how bad he looked when Severus had come to bring him to Hogwarts.
He didn't really care to relive those particular memories. He couldn't even remember that evening after the first hit of
Vernon's cane connecting sharply with his temple that sent him into oblivion.

Draco was getting slightly worried about the distant and glazed over look in his brother's eyes. He tried calling his name
several times and only after physically tapping Harry's cheek did he get any response which was only a mumbled 'sorry'

Draco put both of his hands on either side of Harry's head and held his brother's head in a position so that he was
looking directly into his eyes and said,

"Seriously Harry. You did this because you were afraid of getting fat like your cousin? You just didn't want to get fat.
That's it, right?"

Harry infinitessimally nodded and Draco released his hold and said,

"But why did you think that this was the only option? Dad has a gym, an entire room devoted to just working out. Why did
you think that making yourself throw up would be a better option?"

Harry's mouth opened and closed a few times trying to think of how exactly he was going to word what he was going to say.

"Well first off the food was so heavy that it actually made me feel nauseous and ill by just having it in my stomach. So I
guess that was why I just threw up because that was the only way I knew to make myself feel better. I did feel better
after I did so I just kept doing it. It got to the point that basically I was only keeping lunch down to take my pain
medication but everything else I was throwing up. After I stopped having to take that medication I pretty much only was
keeping a meal down every few days because I was just constantly feeling sick."

"But didn't you think to ask Dad about it? I mean you had to know that that wasn't normal."

"I wasn't going to ask or tell Dad anything because he probably would've brought me back here for at least testing or some
crap like that and the last thing I wanted to do was come back here."

"Harry this is just like a vicious circle. You didn't want to tell Dad because he would've brought you here though you
acted in a way that immediately called for you to be brought back here. Surely you knew that, you're not that thick."

"I think that part of me knew it but didn't want to acknowledge it. Part of me hoped that Dad would just keep me at the
manor but the other part knew that I was daft for thinking that. Dad had made it abundantly clear from the beginning."

"Exactly but it won't do to dwell on it at this point. It's too late for that. So it's best just to try and put this
all behind us and just move on. Now what did you have a nightmare about last night?"

Harry closed his eyes and sighed a bit and said,

"It was one of my first memories actually. One thing you have to understand is that I have been terrified of needles,
doctorsand hospitals ever since I can remember. I remember that I had to be taken to get shots. I was so scared that I
ended up passing out after putting up a huge fight. I must have hit my head or something because I woke up with a really
bad headache and stitches on my forehead. Aunt Petunia was not happy with me at all. When we got home she told Uncle
Vernon what happened and I think that was probably the first real beating I ever got. Before it had just been a little slap
or smack here and there, but this was the first real beating."

Draco couldn't help but have his eyes widen in shock. He knew that Harry hated to talk about the Dursleys, especially
their treatment of him while he was growing up. And to have to relive that in this helpless state in the environment
that he was already petrified of was almost too much. No wonder he had had an attack and was upset.

To be completely honest Harry looked like he was about to break down and cry. He had every reason to do it too. He was
completely help and powerless. Restrained so that he almost literally couldn't move an inch. Stuck with not 1, but 2
needles. To him, he was in Hell.

Draco seriously wished that he could just pull Harry into a tight hug because he looked like he definitely needed it.
Since that wasn't an option Draco grabbed onto Harry's hand who squeezed it tightly and took his other hand and ran it
through Harry's desheveled hair. Just after the two of them broke apart Severus walked back in with the hospital's
asthma specialist to talk with Harry about some of the tests that she wanted to run and a possible course of his new
treatment.



A/N: Okay I decided to stop there because I'm tired and I've got to be up in about 7 hours for my choir performance. That
and I just couldn't think anymore. I don't know if this chapter is any good but I hope that it is. If it sucks then I'm
sorry but I've just had so much other stuff on my mind and work to do and everything else that entails being in college
and actually having a social life that I just haven't had time to write. Seriously, I hope that the next chapter will be
up in the next few days. It all depends on how much work I get done this weekend. Again I'm so sorry that it's taken me
so long to get this chapter out but college kind of interferes with all this stuff. Now push the little button and tell
me what you think because your guy's reviews seriously keep me going and inspire me to write faster. So the more reviews
I get (especially nice ones) the faster that I write. So I'm going to sign off for now and hope that that chapter was
halfway decent. I don't know but I hope that it was and that you guys weren't disappointed. Now review but you all know
the rule by now about flames. They will be used to heat up my car since it's so freaking cold outside!!! TTFN!!!