"Sora, do you want to be alone with him?" Matt asked.
"Um, if you don't mind?" Sora replied.
"Okay," Matt said nodding his head. The rest of the group completely understood, and they all moved to the other side of the platform, including Agumon and Biyomon. They split up into their regular couples and sat down. Matt took hold of Mimi's hand, T.K. took Kari's, whilst Davis put his arm around Catherine. He felt really bad for bringing her here, and had no idea what she was thinking. He moved closer to her,
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"For what?" she replied.
"For bringing you here, for exposing you to all this. You must be scared out of your mind, I don't blame you if you don't want to see me when we get out of this mess," Davis had a severely depressed tone in his voice, and he was disappointed in himself. Veemon was about to say something, but he decided to wait for Catherine's reaction.
"Davis, I don't hate you for this. I mean, I am scared. Very scared in fact, but I know that this is a big part of your life, and if I want to be a part of your life, I'm going to have to deal with it. And I'm sure you guys don't have something like this happening all the time here. I look around here, and I see a beautiful world, that belongs peaceful, and you're one of the people chosen to keep it that way. So I understand why you have to be here, and so please don't be sorry. I'm not going to leave you when we get out of here, I'm gonna be right there at your side, if you'll have me." Davis was shocked, this was not the reaction he'd expected.
"Of course I will, you're the greatest girl I've ever met. I'd love to have you as my girlfriend, always," Davis replied, a little overwhelmed.
"Good, then there is of course one other person to address, your guardian. Veemon, do you mind?" she said sweetly looking over to the blue Digimon. He smiled, he liked her a lot, she was different to most of the human females he had seen, aside from the Digidestined ones. She accepted him, and treated him as an equal, and he rather liked being referred to as a 'guardian', it made him sound important.
"I don't have any problems, I like you both, and I like you together, so have fun!" Veemon replied.
"Thanks buddy," Davis said looking his partner in the eye smiling.
"Yeah, thanks Veemon," Catherine added.
Tai was still staring at the ground. Sora had moved closer to him, but was not touching him, she was sobbing slightly. She pushed back the tears, and began to talk softly, "Tai, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're even listening, but I'm going to say this anyway. You've been through a lot lately, well, more than a lot, but you've always managed to keep it under control. That's one of the things I like most about you, you're able to keep a clear head for the most part. But that changed. When you yelled at me, that day of the exam, I was so scared. Scared that you didn't like me, or love me. Then I saw you transform, I was so afraid of it, of you. You were in so much pain, but always in the back of my mind was, 'how does this affect me?' Then when you had the dream in the van, I was freaked, you weren't yourself at all anymore, and still I didn't really do anything, Agumon did. But it think it's time that I did something, I'm going to forget about myself, and think about you. I just can't help wondering if I had done something sooner, this wouldn't have happened. Just know that I'm here for you Tai, and I'm not going anywhere."
*******Inside Tai's head*******
Tai was trapped in thought, deep within himself. He was in his memories. He looked down at himself, preparing for his date with Sora. He could feel his nerves, his anxiety, and watched as he got dressed for the coming night. There beside him, his partner, offering whatever words of support he could muster.
"What a sham, as if I really care. Why am I nervous about this, I don't really care about her, this can't be love I'm feeling, it must be false," Tai's thoughts echoed throughout himself. He could feel their cold grasp on his mind tightening. He watched as the image of himself leave the room and walked out the front door,
"I'm going now," the image said to his mother.
"Okay son, have fun," the woman's image replied. he watched as his image walked out of the room, and out the door, then everything faded to black.
"Huh, fun, I don't need fun, all I do is cause pain and suffering, why should I get to have fun." Tai's thoughts were cold, and vague. The scene shifted the dance floor that night. He watched as he taught the memory of Sora to dance, and as they held each other close, and gave into their love and embracing in a kiss. Tai wanted to look away from the images now, but he couldn't. He had to try and find the bad in the situation.
"Look at it, there's no love there, there can't be. Evil isn't capable of love, and I'm evil," he mumbled.
"Are you?" a mysterious voice uttered. It was deep and powerful, but Tai certainly didn't recognise it. He was not fazed by it yet, but he had heard and understood what was said.
"I have to be evil, it's the nature of my crest, even Ramuh knew it."
"You're crest, let's just see the nature of your crest then," the scene shifted to the cave where Tai received his crest. He watched as the giant symbol morphed down onto his tag and bound within it. Then the scene once again shifted to the showdown with Etemon. He watched as the young Tai ran forward, no fear in his heart, or any thought for his own safety. Then watched the explosion of light and energy as Agumon digivolved into MetalGreymon.
"Do you really believe that that is the nature of your crest," the voice echoed. Tai didn't say anything now, and then eventually scoffed. "Really, perhaps I should show you more," the voice continued. The scene shifted to the destroyed streets of Odaiba, where VenomMyotismon rampaged. Now he watched as the young Tai and Matt offered to stand by, and let Angewoman send and arrow through him to fulfil a mysterious prophecy. He saw the crest glowing in his own chest. Once more the scene shifted to the blank white light, and saw the data version of himself. He saw the symbol of courage glowing in his chest, no crest present, and watched as the crest reformed in his hand (A\N right, so this never actually happened in the show, but I have to explain why he still has it somehow!). Tai could feel his anger and despair fading, he knew he could fool himself no longer. His crest was courage, it was rooted in good, and nothing he could think or do would change that. The images around him faded away, and now there was blackness.
"So what, what's the use. I'm a good person, I have the power to do good, but what's the point if I'm gonna turn into something evil?!" Tai yelled.
"And how do you know what you are going to become?" the voice replied smugly.
"That old man told me, he said that this… thing is emerging, and when it does it'll be evil." Tai specifically referred to it as a thing, and his voice was full of hatred.
"So you'd trust the word of a strange old guy you just met? Have you ever thought about asking that thing, what it really is?"
"And how would I do that?"
"Well, it's inside you isn't it? Why don't you try talking to it?" Tai stopped his thoughts for a moment, he couldn't believe he hadn't realised it sooner. One thing, he was talking to a strange voice inside his head, and secondly that it was the voice of the very thing that was hurting him.
"It's you isn't it?"
"Yes, it is me."
"But why didn't you just say so?"
"Because, this was something you had to see for yourself. Look what happened to you when Ramuh told you, could you imagine if I had?"
"Yeah," Tai's voice was full of depression now, he had remembered exactly how he was now, sitting silent and empty on the ground.
"Why are you so afraid young Taichi, what is it about me that disgusts you so?"
"You're evil, I saw with my own eyes what happened to all those people in the past. You killed them mercilessly, and enjoyed it."
"I know. I do not try and make excuses for my dark past, and I cannot deny it. But I am not this way anymore. I woke up to the nature of what I was doing, and have put it behind me. I will never forget it, but I will always be trying to atone for what I have done."
"Yeah, but why is your-- our power rooted in evil?"
"Simply put, it isn't. Can you describe for me what you were feeling all those times I showed you before?"
"Not really. I guess I was overcome by something. I had to stop those things from what they were doing. I guess I was angry at them, no, I hated them."
"Exactly, but what did your hatred for them make you do?
"Well, I knew that I had stop them before they ruined everything I loved, my friends, my family, my home."
"Exactly. Your hatred gave you the strength to think about stopping them, from there it disappeared, and your very courage took over. Once you had embraced you power you instilled courage in those around you. That is what makes you Digidestined such and unbeatable force. Your powers are so great, that they feed themselves into those around you. You as a leader, have great courage, and time and time again you've given you friends the courage to move on."
"So what are you saying?"
"You aren't evil, just because you needed a little anger to start off with, does not mean it is a part of your attribute."
"Alright, so I'm not evil. But how do I stop myself from becoming it?"
"I do not know. In my darker days I let the anger at my enemies take over, in short, I did not have your strength to push it back, and let courage take over. I think we need to use this strength once more. You have to repress your anger long enough for my allies to find a cure. I need to know if you can do this?"
"I-- I'll try… No, I won't just try, I'll do it for sure, I won't let you down, I won't let both of our good go to waste!"
"Excellent, I can see your power is truly great. But I think it's time for me to go, and for you to wake up, your friends are very worried."
"Sora. I've upset her haven't I? Agh, I'm such an idiot, she probably hates me…"
"I don't think so, allow me to be your ears and eyes, let me show you what she has said." Tai saw a small image in the blackness appearing, and soon he saw himself, with Sora next to him. He heard her small sobs, then her speech. Tai was taken aback. He didn't know that this was how she felt. He thought she had been a huge help to him throughout the whole ordeal. "But she's all wrong, she was so helpful."
"Then how about you tell her that?"
"I can't, I'm stuck here."
"You're not, you've woken up to yourself Tai. I'd like to thank you, thankyou for accepting this. I believe in you, and I know you can conquer this, and free me. But I think it's time for you to wake up!"
*******Back in the digital world*******
Tai felt a flash go through him at the sound of Bahamut saying wake up. He could see again, and then he was awake. He jolted slightly, then felt Sora's arm.
"Sora?" he said faintly.
"Tai?" she replied, the tears fighting their way back. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He held her tightly.
"Bahamut, thankyou," he whispered. She didn't quite hear what he said,
"Huh?" she said.
"Nothing, It's nothing." It was at this point that the group noticed that Tai was awake and moving, they basically all rushed over to him, Agumon leading the pack. Tai looked up and saw the group rushing over. He let go of Sora and Agumon practically leapt into his arms. Kari was not far behind him, falling to her knees.
"Hey," Tai said softly.
"Tai, you're okay!" Agumon said gleefully.
"Well, you didn't think I'd let you run around unchaperoned?" Agumon didn't reply, he was just happy to see his partner finally back to being himself.
"Tai…" Kari said now looking into her older brothers eyes.
"Come on now, I don't want any tears, I'm fine."
"Onii-san,"(Big brother, I think that's how you spell it…) Kari continued along the line that she was previously going. Tai could now see the tears in the bottom of her eyes. Agumon looked up and saw this too, so he hopped off. Tai moved closer to her and took her in his arms.
"What happened to no tears, huh?"
"I-- I can't, just don't go anywhere," Kari said in-between her tears.
"Come on now, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
"O--okay," she replied. She let go of him, then wiped the tears form her eyes with her sleave. T.K. moved over to her and she looked up to him. He took her hand and she stood up. Tai was feeling the need to stretch his legs, amongst other things, so he slowly stood. Sora followed the trend, and he took a tight hold of her hand, "I won't let go." He whispered.
"Are you okay Tai?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, I think I finally am," Tai replied.
"Me neither," Sora whispered back.
"Hey Tai, its good to see you're okay," Davis said looking over to his mentor.
"Yeah, even though I've only just met you, it is nice to see you well again," Catherine added.
"Thanks you two, and before the rest of you do it too, I know. And thanks a lot for it guys, it means a lot to me that you stayed with me during this time. But I have accepted what is to come, and I have faith that we can stop it." the group was somewhat silenced by this, not quite knowing what he meant, as they didn't really know what to do at all.
"Ramuh, I want you to return home, now, and bring back your allies, or anyone that can help. And please, hurry."
"I intend to. Now, I don't know where you would like to go, but I am afraid you cannot stay here. If I leave the area, then I'm afraid this place shall disappear."
"Okay, guys, I suggest we go to File Island, rather than going home, it'll just be easier," Tai suggested.
"Yeah, that would be best." Ramuh moved over to the globe on the far side of the platform, Tai followed him, leading Sora with him. He could sense that the group was following, and held out his other hand to stop them. They obliged and stopped, except Agumon. He walked over to Ramuh, and watched at the old man brought forth an image of File Island.
"It is all clear, you shouldn't have any problems while you await my return," he said.
"Hey Ramuh, I'm sorry if I was a little insensitive to you, I know you've lost a friend through this too. Just hold on, he's okay, trust me."
"Your thoughts of me are kind, I thank you, but it is time you left this place."
"Okay, but how do we get there?" Tai asked.
"Just use your computer to open a gate as you usually would, it'll take you there. You can use the orb on the far side to open it in."
"Right, thanks again for your help." Tai, Sora and Agumon walked back over to the others.
"Davis, I need you to open a gate like we usually do."
"Okay, but where?" Davis replied.
"That globe, just trust me."
"Alright," Davis replied, sounding a little sceptical. He and Veemon walked through the group over to the globe and pulled out his Digivice. It reacted to the globe, and sure enough a gate appeared.
"Okay guys, it's working," Davis announced. Catherine was the first person next to Davis, clenching his hand tightly. The group huddled around the globe and a light began to shine. It was soon illuminating the entire platform and they could all feel themselves being pulled into the globe. Tai turned around and gave Ramuh one last good bye, and before he knew it he was travelling through the gate, as per usual.
They hit ground right on top of Infinity Mountain. They had a spectacular night-time view of the digital world. In the distance they could see the island they had just come from, shimmering in the distance. It stood out in the ocean as the stars do in the sky, it's light bringing a feint joy to the oceans darkness. They watched as a small light got brighter on the islands peak, then watched as it faded away. Soon it was gone, as the stars die in the sky, never to be noticed by those it had not touched, never remembered, only living on in the hearts of those it brought warmth to. Tai watched it fade and with it the only being that had been able to help, aside from the one within himself, he could only hope his return would be swift.
Tai moved closer to Sora, needing her comfort. He took her hand and squeezed it slightly. She revoked her gaze from the void where the island once was, and turned it to his eyes. They glistened in the moonlight. They had lost some of their ferocity, and were a soft chestnut. In the depth of the orb she saw a hint of red. Not the flaming red, but a soft, passionate red. He could sense her content, and it made him feel content himself, he decided to speak,
"Sora, I…" he tried, but he couldn't, he didn't want the others to hear. Not for secrecy, but rather from embarrassment, of failing as their leader. He turned to them, Matt, T.K. and Davis could sense immediately what he wanted, they too had needed these moments themselves, he spoke anyway, "Guys, can you give us a moment?" he ask softly.
"Sure," Matt answered on behalf of the group. He took a hold of Mimi's hand, his warmth transferring to her own. He led the group backward onto the plateau. They sat down in a large circle, each by their respective other's side, and partners close by. Tai waited until he saw them sit down to proceed talking. He led Sora over to the ledge and they sat down, looking down below what lay beneath. They saw one of the digital worlds thick luscious forests, probably containing numerous Digimon. This didn't phase Tai, his still felt as if they were alone. He moved close to Sora and continued speaking, "Sora, I'm, I'm sorry for what I've done, for everything I've done. I need to tell you what happened back there, but it's hard for me, because I failed you, I failed you all. That's why I sent the others away, I couldn't bare for them to hear, knowing the confidence they put in me. But I feel like I need to tell some one, and I thought that it'd best to tell you. It's okay, I trust you, and I trust Biyomon with this. And of course I trust Agumon over here," he looked down to his partner, who was grinning up at him. "But I want to know that you're okay hearing this, do you mind if I tell you?"
"Tai, of course not, you know we tell each other everything," Sora replied, confused as to what he was so concerned about. She knew that he had blanked out, but not what was going on inside his head.
"Okay, just please, don't get mad at me for this."
"I won't Tai, just tell me."
"Okay. When Ramuh told me exactly what was happening to me, what was inside of me, I lost it. I completely blanked out, and I'm not sure where I went. I couldn't handle what was happening to me, or what I thought, would happen to me. I think it's a lot like the dark cave that you and Matt went to all those years ago, but it was different too. I wasn't just sitting in darkness, and I was alone, or at least I thought I was. But you see, I wasn't reflecting on the past, I was denying what it meant. First I saw myself preparing for our date, I could feel everything I felt then, all the nerves, all the anxiety. But it was different, I denied what I saw, I told myself I shouldn't be nervous, that nothing special would happen. I then watched as I left, and my mother wishing me well and telling me to have fun. I told myself I didn't deserve it, that I shouldn't have fun, because evil things can't have fun. Then I saw our dance, our love. I tried to deny that too, deny that I was capable of something so beautiful, even being capable of loving. I couldn't though, as much as I tried I couldn't, but I kept going. I think that… I probably would have remained locked in that moment forever, trying to reject my feelings, even though I couldn't, but that's when 'he' showed up." Tai's voice was quiet, and had a nostalgic tone, that was almost creepy to Sora, considering what he was saying. His voice was calm though, and he spoke clearly.
"Who Tai, how could anyone show up?" Sora asked almost mirroring his tone, without the nostalgia.
"Yeah, we tried everything, but nothing could get through to you." Agumon spoke up.
"I know, but let me tell you what happened. I was sitting there, trying with every thread of my consciousness to reject my feelings of love for Sora, when a voice other than my own appeared. It didn't even strike me as weird that I had someone else's voice in my head, I just tried to deny what it was saying too, and I'd then go back to my feelings for Sora later. But he wasn't like me, he wasn't depressed, and he showed me exactly what I needed to see. He took me to cave where I received my crest, and showed me every time I had used it's power. I tried to deny those moments to, but when I saw it around my neck, almost physically a part of my being, and knowing it's connection to myself, I stopped denying myself. I saw as I reformed it in the palm of my hand from the power within myself, and I knew, that I wasn't the evil person I had tried to convince myself I was. But I had to ask him 'What the purpose of showing me all the good I could do, if I was only to turn evil?' Do want to know what he said. He simply told me that the only way to know what I was to become, was to ask it exactly what it was. That's when I realised, all this time I had been thinking of myself, and never perhaps of the thing that was trapped inside me."
"You mean he spoke to you, Bahamut SPOKE to you?!" Agumon said in shock.
"Are you serious Tai, how, why?" Sora wasn't loosing sight of herself in the shock, she paused to clear her head, then asked the question that two of them were dying to know the answer to, "Well, What did he say?"
"At that point that he could have said anything he wanted, and I would have believed him. He simply asked me what I was afraid of. He told me nothing, and made me do the talking. I look back on it now, and I realise just how smart he is." This was rather a bit of an anticlimax for them all, they sat in silence though, hooked on what he would say next. He didn't want to leave them in silence, so he continued. "All I could really say was that I was afraid of becoming evil. And I said that I knew he was evil because of what the dream had shown me, and what it meant about him. He said that he could not, and would not deny his dark past, and that he has come to terms with it, but has not forgotten it. He says he has changed his ways to good. Then he stopped, making me tell him what I needed to know, rather than him just revealing it. I asked him then, why our power was rooted in evil. He seemed to have thought about this a great deal, and explained it simply, but effectively. He asked me to describe what I felt all those times my crest had activated. I said I was angry, I hated them for what they were doing, and it gave me a rush. He said that it was the anger that made me act, but once I was doing it, it was courage that was driving me. And once I had embraced the courage, I didn't even need the anger to start me off. He also said that my power didn't just instil courage in myself, rather it enabled me to give all of you courage as well, and that is why I was a natural as the leader. All of our crests do it, and that's why we are such a good team, we help each other. But this is when I knew for sure that I had failed you. I wasn't brave, and I certainly wasn't helping you guys to be brave. I'd broken the link in the group, and almost caused it to collapse. That's why I needed to tell you this Sora, I really failed you guys badly, and I didn't even realise it. So I'm sorry, I really am sorry."
"Tai…" Sora began, "You don't have to be sorry. You know that, we've been through this, it isn't your fault. Just don't feel bad, we all have times when we fall down, and just need to think about things, I know I've had many. Just don't let it get to you. Just think, if you hadn't, you would never have gotten this all settled out. Just think of it as you finally getting some time to yourself."
"Okay, I think I can. But thanks for understanding, I know it wasn't easy on you all."
"So what else did he say, I mean, he must've said something else?" Agumon asked energetically.
"Okay, I calm down though, it was surprisingly little. He told me again that just because I needed that anger to get going, does not mean that my attribute was evil. Then I asked him what the point of him telling me all this, if I was only going to end up becoming evil. He didn't know, but he then asked me a favour. He said that in his past he was not able to get past the anger stage of gaining courage, and it enveloped him, he didn't want the same to happen to me. He asked me to do my best to repress my anger, so that it would not happen. I felt so weird, he was asking me a favour, when it was me that needed everything. I told him that I wouldn't let him down. Then he said that it was time for me to wake up, that I had heard everything I had needed to hear. He also showed me what you said, even though I had not been able to hear it, he had."
"Oh, so you know what I said…" Sora replied sheepishly, with a pink tinge to her cheeks.
"No Sora, don't be embarrassed, please. You were wrong. I mean, I can't tell you that how you feel is wrong, that's not possible, but you weren't ever a problem. In fact, I think you were on of the only things keeping me sane. I just want you to know that, so please don't think that you ever made this difficult for me."
"Tai…" Sora said, tears coming to her eyes.
"I'm here Sora, come on, don't cry, you'll make me cry." Tai moved closer to her. She shivered a little, from the cold, but also from the feeling as he touched her arm. He put his arm around her, she felt cool. He didn't know what to do, his jacket wasn't really helping him, so he took it off and out it around her shoulders. She looked up into his eyes smiling, the orbs sill gleaming in the moonlight. He smiled back down to her, then snuggled her in closer. He had an idea at that point, but he could feel his nerves growing from it. He decided to press on, and he moved his left wing and wrapped it around her back, and across her arm. She was startled, but did not pull away, rather she smiled more. He was really relieved at this.
"Thanks," he said softly. He knew that he had accepted his new form, permanent or not, but he was not sure if she had, but now he knew. Sora seemed to know what he was talking about, so she just rested her head on his shoulder.
"I can tell you the rest of the story, if you want?"
"Yeah," she replied faintly. It seemed as though she was half asleep already, but he was going to continue. Agumon and Biyomon had since left them. When they saw that Sora and Tai were getting close, they knew they could use some alone time, so they thought it best to go to the rest of the group.
"Well, I knew then that I had to get out to see you all again, especially you, so that I could tell you that I didn't blame you for anything. I asked him how I could wake up. He simply said that I had become aware of myself. He thanked me for accepting this, and then simply told me to wake up." Tai heard Sora let out a small sigh, and then he could feel and sense her slip away to sleep. Tai felt finally rested, at peace fully. "Thankyou Bahamut," he whispered into the night. He voice played across the wind until it dissipated into the night, never to be heard by anyone.
*******The next morning*******
Tai woke first. He looked over to where the rest of the group were gathered. They were all asleep too. He looked up to the horizon, where the sun had newly risen. He decided to move. Gently he lowered Sora to the ground, resting her head on his jacket, made up into a pillow. He began walking over to the others, but stopped when he had gotten halfway. He looked back over to the cliff, and felt a sensation come over him. He took one step towards it, but his foot landed square on a stick, breaking it in two. The sound awoke Agumon, and he immediately looked up. He lifted his arm to greet his partner, but Tai did not do the same, rather he begun walking for the cliff edge. He heard Agumon following him, and he began to run.
"Tai, wait!" he yelled to his partner. But this did not stop him, rather it woke the rest of the group. They all slowly roused, a contrast to Tai's quick movements. Sora too lifted her head. Tai was now practically at the edge,
"Tai NO!" Agumon yelled as he ran. But he was too late, and had to watch as his partner dived right over the edge, and hurled toward the ground below.
Okay ppl, sorry this took so long ^_^. I suppose it'd be uncharacteristic of me if it wasn't late….. anyway, I had my reasons. I planned out part 14 as a romantic chappie, and then disaster struck me in the area, and so you can understand how I would not be very inspired to write that sort of thing. Why does that stop chap 13 from going up? Well, could you imagine the wait if I'd uploaded it when It was ready? I like to keep a 1 chap buffer, so that if something really bad happens I can update. I was going to do this now regardless anyway. I'll try my best to keep it at a 3 week max. but my finals are soon, so it may be hampered. I'll let you know in that case. Anyway, thanks goes out to PP, she knows hoo she is, for proofing, good work! And a hello to all my friends, esp Z, you're great d00d, and then hello to Konami-chan, lol, I was supposed to say hi last 2 chaps too, oh well. PEACE OUT, and don't for get to MOMENTAI!
