Note: Well, Shicsaaczzz-the-s2pid Psyche is back!!!I'm sorry because I
haven't updated this story much. Well, thanks for all the reviews out
there. But I'm somehow sad because I only got 8 reviews and I think it's
not enough. Plzz.Plzz. Read And Review, guys!!! I'm down here on bended
knees. Well, here's the deal. If you won't review my fic.
No posting of chapters and etcetera.
Well, on with the story!
Chapter 4: Cease of All Things
~*~*~*
11:45 p.m. Reception Hall
Platters of desserts and main courses were lined up on the table. There were roasted chickens, braised beef, mouth-watering lasagnas, chicken pastels, grilled lobsters and many more.
*I'm hungry.*
The guests fell in line and each served themselves much like in a buffet style.
"Mr. Schezar, thank you for the great party," the middle-aged man said. He grinned widely and went to his table to eat. Other guests did the same thing too. They came up to Allen, greeted happy birthday and thanked for the invitation to the party. Soon, almost all of the guests were out except for Hitomi, Van and other special friends of Allen.
"I guess we have to go, Allen," Hitomi spoke. She kissed him lightly on his cheek and smiled. Allen held her hand suddenly and got out something from his pocket. He opened it and got out a diamond ring. His eyes glanced at the lady in front of her. 'The woman of my dreams.haven't I waited this long? I need her answer now. Now that everything is going more complicated. And I think, this is the best solution for the problems coming up on our way.'
"Will you marry me, Hitomi?"
Suddenly she removed her hand from his and frowned a bit. And he expected that kind of reaction from her. 'Would I have to wait? Again? But I've waited so long. Or this is just another obstacle that I have to face? Hitomi, why do you need to refuse me all the time? If not refuse me-you're always ignoring me.And I hate it so much because you never paid so much attention-'
"I-I'm sorry but I have to leave," she said-interrupting his troubled self. She quickly approached Van who was currently fixing his tuxedo and left.
~*~*~*
Is that how you quickly leave me here?
How you instantly held his arm and ran away with him?
I know you did not run away.But for me, you did.
You ran away from my proposal.
I just wanted marriage.
Isn't that the best thing to do?
If it isn't.
Then what is it?
Tell me.
Oh, how I wish you could tell me what the hell is going on in our relationship!
I want the old you back.
What is happening?
Is there something that I've done badly that hurt you so much?
Or.
You are just FALLING OUT of love with me, Hitomi?
~*~*~*
"I'm very happy for you," Van said, breaking the silence.
His voice pierced into herself. She looked at him and was befuddled. "Why?" she asked. He shrugged and sighed. "Maybe, it's because Allen is there for you always and you've found your fate, your destiny. Isn't that the reason you live? That you need to be with him because you love him?"
"Not actually.I can still change my mind. Right now, I don't know where this relationship of ours will go. Whether we'll break up or we'll be tied together as a married couple. I just don't know."
"But how will you know?"
She stopped and thought about his question. He was right. How will she know that Allen is not for her? Does something need to happen before realization comes into place? Does a bad event have to occur before she realizes that she never loved him as what she thought before? Suddenly the door opened and Millerna came in. She wore her nightshirt. She went to Van and embraced him tightly.
"Let's sleep now, Van," she said. Van looked at her and nodded his head happily. He then turned to Hitomi.
"Konbanwa. . ." he said. They stood up and left the room. Suddenly, Hitomi sobbed. She never felt so lonely before. Her eyes were lowered and tears came running down on her face.
~*~*~*
'My, imouto.
I hope she didn't grieve for me when I left. She's too expressional of her childish feelings. Well, I just wish she were fine.'
He opened his closed eyes and looked at the sleeping woman in front of him. Her blonde hair spread over her back-some were covering her face half-lit by the moon's light. She looked like an angel. Her lips were pink and her rosy cheeks were distinct. He lifted his hand and held her cheek gently so as not to wake her up. Her skin was warm under his fingers and the sensation eased the aching muscles of his callused hand. He moved his hand across her face and brushed it tenderly. He accidentally touched her delicate lips and felt worried that he might destroy the sound sleep of the lady-but.nothing happened luckily. She was asleep and didn't even move a bit. He sighed deeply and was grateful for that. He didn't want to interrupt the lady's dreams. Yes, dreams. But he once interrupted them before. More of his fault than his grandfather's. Suddenly, he brought his face closer to hers and gazed at her features. His eyes were midnight blue and sadness filled his lips that he began to frown. She was his friend-even before, when they were still children-when they were having the dreams of their lives achieved. His grandpa thought that they were perfectly meant for each other so he arranged their marriage immediately. They had to be engaged that early. But it wasn't their choice, besides she loved another man. And she desired for him. But his grandfather stopped her and commanded his cohorts to salvage her loved man instead. Her life was torn down completely when she knew what happened and it made a vast void in her heart. She never knew the true killer because no one dared to speak. That was how powerful his grandfather was. And that power he contained was just too much that he can kill anyone to attain what he sought after. And then when Van came, she was able to build her dreams again. She was able to cope with her situation and it is all because of him. She fell in love with him- body and soul. Unfortunately, he had no special feelings for her and he will still be her childhood best friend. His heart needed a woman who will love him because he is himself-not because he is like her past man. He understood her somehow. And he didn't want to hurt her so he tried everything to fall in love with her. But it was useless. It's true, he wanted to protect her from other people who'll hurt her. But his feelings for her won't ever go beyond that.
'Gomenasai.'
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips on hers. His felt warm and satisfied. But he was trembling. He felt that she melted in his arms. She became fragile and weak because of his kiss. But he could not caress her body. It was so young, gentle and tender. He didn't want to hurt her. He slowly removed his lips and looked at her once again. Sadness. that was the feeling his lips expressed. He noticed the flood of tears on her face. She was disappointed at what she felt. The thing that she wanted to feel wasn't there. Instead there were apology, sadness and guilt that mingled between them. 'Millerna, I'm very sorry,' his thought abated and he was able to sleep.
~*~*~*
"Ohayou, Hitomi," Van greeted as he assisted Millerna as she sat down. Hitomi smiled sweetly then continued to eat her breakfast. Van sat beside her and broke a piece of her bread. He gingerly ate the piece and was very careful about his manners.
'He's so refined. But how did he become so gentle?' she thought as she observed his graceful acts. He got a napkin and carefully wiped his mouth then folded it and placed beside hi plate.
"Arigato for the food," he said. He looked at Millerna and grinned widely. "I'll just take a shower. Please wait for me," he told her. She nodded her head. He stood up and left them.
"Millerna kept quiet as she drank her tea. She didn't speak to her as much as possible. But suddenly, Hitomi opened up a conversation that she might drop too.
"How long will you stay here?" she asked her. She shrugged and sighed. "I have to wait until Van decides to marry me. We haven't discussed that matter yet. And right now, I'm still waiting." She replied. "Umm.do you think I have a chance? I mean-will he ever marry me?"
Hitomi was shocked at what she said. She has never met a girl like her before. She was very open to her feelings. 'Maybe, she's not that flirtatious after all. I can befriend her and help her to Van.' She smiled sweetly-her light brown eyes shone.
"Of course, Van likes a simple woman like you. But don't flirt so much with him. You have to be humble in whatever you do. Remember, simplicity is beauty," she sophisticatedly answered. Millerna chuckled at what she has just said. Her face was blushing with laughter.
"You're a good adviser, Hitomi. Thanks!" she said. Hitomi laughed too and they began to like each other. "You know what? I can help you to Allen and you can help me to Van. Isn't it great?!" she said. Hitomi nodded in response. And they began to laugh again. Suddenly, Van came. He wore a formal coat and a blue necktie. He held two suitcases.
"Let's go now, Millerna," he said. She stood up and went to him. Then she waved good bye to Hitomi.
"Ja ne!" she said. Hitomi nodded her head and grinned widely. Then they went away. 'Why is he wearing formal clothes? I thought he's just a waiter?' she thought.
~*~*~*
Author's Notes: This work is by me of course. But the characters are originally made by Shoji Kawamori(is he?) Well, I'm sorry I have to put the disclaimer at the middle part of this story. Again, please read, review and enjoy. For any comments, corrections or violent reactions or even requests, you can e-mail me at kaymordeno@yahoo.com because I really want this fic to be great. If you have any cool ideas in your mind that can help me in finishing this story, please do tell me! Well, on with the story. . .
He opened the shoji and went inside his office. Millerna followed him and put his suitcases beside his table. He sat down on the upholstered chair and turned on his laptop.
Suddenly, she interrupted him.
"Won't you tell her the truth?" she asked. He stopped checking some files and faced her. "No, Millerna. I don't want her feelings towards me change. She'd be upset if I tell her. Besides, she's contented to live with a lie. She has never known truths of mysteries. And I want to be one of the mystery in her life," he said calmly. He sighed exhaustingly and put on his eyeglasses. His midnight blue eyes shone as he quietly sat on his chair. A feeling of anxiety sailed in his magnificent eyes.
'Those eyes do not belong to my Van. They belong to the Van that left me before,' she thought sadly. Suddenly, he looked at her and she began to blush. She lowered her head as she flushed more. 'Oh, God! Take off his eyes on me.'
His eyes were so charming. They seem to look in other's soul as he looks at those people. It seems to reveal secrets that the person in front of him was hiding. That's why she took off her own away from his. She's afraid he might to know the truth. The truth that she was truly, madly and deeply in love with him and that she did not want to lose him.
"Millerna, daijobou de gozaru ka?" he asked. She was startled at what she heard. She lifted her head and saw the worried look on his face. She began to smile sweetly. "Hai. Well, I need to go. I will meet you later," she said as she stood up. He nodded his head. Then she came closer to him and pressed a kiss on his lips. She held his face and tasted his breath. Then she let go of hers to gasp for air. "Ja," she said. She went to door and went away.
Van continued his work again. He surfed the net and checked his e-mail. There was a letter for him. He opened it as he clicked the mouse and realized it was from his imouto, Merle. He grinned widely and was very happy at what he just received.
'Domo arigato gozaimasu, imouto. I appreciated it so much,' he thought happily.
But,
He didn't know.
That that letter.
Would change.
His life.
Forever.
~*~*~*
"S-stop!" she cried. "Okay? You don't understand me. I said I can't take this relationship anymore. You're getting farther from me. I hate this kind of feeling-of being neglected because of stupid reasons. And you'd just come up here and kiss me?! Do you think I can forgive you? I've suffered enough from what you have done! Don't be so insensitive! You know what you've been doing and I personally just don't like it!"
Tears fell out of her eyes. Her brown iris got smaller as the feeling of exploitation pounded her heart. She was very angry with him. Her patience was gone and she couldn't stand it any longer.
"I trusted you," she spoke as she began to calm down. "But did you trust me?! No! Instead you didn't wait. You haven't waited. You haven't stopped yourself. You know I don't have the ability to cheat on people. You should've at least trusted me, for God's sake!"
"Let me explain." he broke in. Suddenly, she slapped him. Her hand was trembling-afraid that she was wrong.
"No! Tell me-can you explain what happened between you and that prostitute?! I saw you both. You had sex! And I was there the whole time. You cheated on me and you never told me about it. Now, you are here asking me to have marriage with you?! Allen, I've had enough of you! You've been lying to me the whole time and still you haven't stopped. Now, I'm beginning to realize that this marriage of yours is a big perfect lie!" She burst crying. She paused every time she breathed in. It was too painful for her. Her heart was torn apart because of the intense feelings she was experiencing. Memories shook her mind every time she'd look at his face. But anger blocked her brain. She knew it was a torture to let him go. But she had no other choice. 'It's either I break up with him or I get tied up with him as his stupid wife.No, I couldn't choose being his wife. Dammit, he lied. He had lied. What else could he do when we're married?!' He tried to touch her face. But she violently pushed him.
"I've had enough of this.I don't want to suffer anymore." She spoke. "I hate you, Allen!!!" She slapped him once again making it sure that she'll release all her anger. But there were still forgiveness and love standing by-waiting for her to speak it out.
Silence. . .
His eyes widened in shock. His cheek started to ache and felt a stream of blood rushing down from it. He turned his head to her and looked at her earth brown eyes.
"Have. . .have I neglected you so much?
I loved you with all my heart and soul.
But what's the reason behind your complaints and intense feelings about me?
You were never open to me not that I really wanted you to be.
You've been always secretive of your feelings mostly the pains you feel inside.
You don't want to share it with me.
Is this the reason we built a relationship?
To hide the pains and sufferings inside and not share it with the other?" he said. She didn't look at him. Fear overcame her feelings.
"I've always asked you if you love me, Hitomi. But, God, did you answer? Oh wel-you said 'maybe'. But is that enough for me to hear your answer? I never knew that there was wrong about what I showed you. But.but where did you get all the things you've said?" he spoke. Suddenly, she slapped him once, releasing all her anger. She looked down on him with crimson eyes0eyes that do not belong to her true self.
"I got them from you STUPID ASS! DAMMIT, I'LL LET YOU GO! YOU'RE FREE NOW. IN FACT WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THAT WOMAN WHO DESTROYED ME?! SHE'D SURELY FILL UP THE VOID IN YOUR SORRY ASS!!!" she cursed him. She went away angrily as if a storm destroyed the room. He sat there silently-stupefied at what she did to him. He never thought he had hurt her so much to the point that she'll manifest her anger by mental and physical torture-things he couldn't stand. 'So.she had known what I've done. I thought she hadn't seen me that night. I also thought that I've hid that secret so well. But obviously, I was wrong again.' Tears rushed on his face and blood flowed on his cheek. He could feel the sensation burying deeper and melting his skin. He tried to block his memories but her face kept on flashing in his mind. Those crimson eyes gazed at him as if he was the most evil person in the world. He never knew her true self. He never knew the true girl behind the one he loved so dearly.
~*~*~*
The words stung him. They were like a poison to his soul. They kept on repeating and jabbing his face. He didn't want that to happen. He was so sorry for himself, for her whom he loved so mush. He was about to go back and see her but now he had no reason. She died.
DEAR VAN,
I HOPE YOU'RE IN GOOD HEALTH. WE MISS YOU SO MUCH. BUT DON'T SMILE YET. BECAUSE I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU THAT-
MOTHER'S GONE. SHE DIED LAST SATURDAY. GOMENASAI. I TRIED TO CALL YOU BUT I FORGOT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND GRANPA ADVISED ME TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT-SO I E-MAILED. SORRY, BRO. I THINK THERE'S NO MORE REASON TO GO BACK HERE. YOU SHOULD STAY THERE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. GOMEN.
YOUR IMOUTO, MERLE
P.S. BETTER NOT SEND ME A REPLY. GRANDPA WOULD SURELY KNOW.
Behind his ocean blue eyes were the faintest stream of tears. 'I was wrong to leave you. Mother, sorry.'
Flashback:
"Why do you have to leave? Are you not contented?" she asked. Her nose was pink and her sweet voice turned hoarse. He lifted his hand and wiped the tears in her amber haze eyes. She was so gentle and too expressive of her feelings. "Mother, I'm contented. I just want to find my destiny, my fate. I want to live life in my own. Don't worry. If I'd be able to meet my fate, I'll come back and visit you," he said. He tried to explain to her. But her mother's love for her child made her not able to understand. She burst crying in his soft but firm with love embrace.
"But what if.you won't meet your fate? Will you still come back?" she asked as she looked at her son. Her eyes were red and tears still welled up. He wiped them by his thumb and smiled sweetly. "I have one word, mother. I don't want you to be anxious because of me. I'll come back. Promise," he said.
End of FB:
'I'm so stupid to live away from you! I haven't even said good bye to you,' he thought as he buried his face on his cold trembling hands. It was too painful for him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't left, maybe she would have still lived by now. It was all his fault. 'I-I am so sorry, mother.' He mused.
Suddenly, the door opened.
"Mr. Fanell, Ms. Millerna is. . ." the woman stopped as she saw him crying on his table. She was shocked. She was about to come closer to him when she decided to call Millerna. After a moment, she dashed in and comforted him. She sat beside him and laid his body on her chest. She stroked his hair gently. "What happened, Van? Huh?" she asked. He continued crying. Tears rushed out. He couldn't speak. "Van, tell me what happened." She asked again. This time, he looked up at her, eyes filled with sorrow and tears.
"You won't understand. You won't feel what-I'm.feeling right now. It's painful here," he said as he clenched his fist and put it on his chest. She was shocked at what he said. She let go of him as he sat up and wiped his tears. "You'll never understand my situation!" he cried as he left.
"Van!" she shouted. But he left.
~*~*~*
He went inside his car and locked himself inside. He cried and cried. He got his car key inside his pocket and started the engine. Suddenly, heavy rain poured from the sky and thunder and lightning rolled. The road was slippery and it was perilous to continue but he still drove. He wanted to release all his anger and tremendous sorrow inside. If he can't release it by tears, he'll just drive through this bad weather and manifest his sadness. 'I don't care.whether I'll die.or not. Besides, she's gone. Whom do I have to live for? No one!'
"Why did you leave me? Is it because I never fulfilled my promise to you?" he asked himself. He drove faster. Tears blurred his vision besides of the heavy rain banging loudly on his car. It was dark and he can't see clearly, until a ten-wheeler truck came skidding. He hadn't seen it so.
"NOOOOO!!!!" he cried. His car bumped the truck and was thrown into the air and as soon as it landed on the ground, skidded. The truck blew up while the car caught flames and was burned.
TBC.
Author: WAHAHAHA!!!I'M EVIL. *grins* Gawsh, that was a very long chapter. My fingers are so tired. Well, hope you enjoyed it and please review. By the way, for the Allen fans out there, I'm sorry I have to make him that evil. Because the truth is, I really, really hate him! ^__^ Don't hurt me. And sorry too for the Van Fanell fans out there because I had to make him cry that much. Well, so much for these things. Ja, minna-san!!!
No posting of chapters and etcetera.
Well, on with the story!
Chapter 4: Cease of All Things
~*~*~*
11:45 p.m. Reception Hall
Platters of desserts and main courses were lined up on the table. There were roasted chickens, braised beef, mouth-watering lasagnas, chicken pastels, grilled lobsters and many more.
*I'm hungry.*
The guests fell in line and each served themselves much like in a buffet style.
"Mr. Schezar, thank you for the great party," the middle-aged man said. He grinned widely and went to his table to eat. Other guests did the same thing too. They came up to Allen, greeted happy birthday and thanked for the invitation to the party. Soon, almost all of the guests were out except for Hitomi, Van and other special friends of Allen.
"I guess we have to go, Allen," Hitomi spoke. She kissed him lightly on his cheek and smiled. Allen held her hand suddenly and got out something from his pocket. He opened it and got out a diamond ring. His eyes glanced at the lady in front of her. 'The woman of my dreams.haven't I waited this long? I need her answer now. Now that everything is going more complicated. And I think, this is the best solution for the problems coming up on our way.'
"Will you marry me, Hitomi?"
Suddenly she removed her hand from his and frowned a bit. And he expected that kind of reaction from her. 'Would I have to wait? Again? But I've waited so long. Or this is just another obstacle that I have to face? Hitomi, why do you need to refuse me all the time? If not refuse me-you're always ignoring me.And I hate it so much because you never paid so much attention-'
"I-I'm sorry but I have to leave," she said-interrupting his troubled self. She quickly approached Van who was currently fixing his tuxedo and left.
~*~*~*
Is that how you quickly leave me here?
How you instantly held his arm and ran away with him?
I know you did not run away.But for me, you did.
You ran away from my proposal.
I just wanted marriage.
Isn't that the best thing to do?
If it isn't.
Then what is it?
Tell me.
Oh, how I wish you could tell me what the hell is going on in our relationship!
I want the old you back.
What is happening?
Is there something that I've done badly that hurt you so much?
Or.
You are just FALLING OUT of love with me, Hitomi?
~*~*~*
"I'm very happy for you," Van said, breaking the silence.
His voice pierced into herself. She looked at him and was befuddled. "Why?" she asked. He shrugged and sighed. "Maybe, it's because Allen is there for you always and you've found your fate, your destiny. Isn't that the reason you live? That you need to be with him because you love him?"
"Not actually.I can still change my mind. Right now, I don't know where this relationship of ours will go. Whether we'll break up or we'll be tied together as a married couple. I just don't know."
"But how will you know?"
She stopped and thought about his question. He was right. How will she know that Allen is not for her? Does something need to happen before realization comes into place? Does a bad event have to occur before she realizes that she never loved him as what she thought before? Suddenly the door opened and Millerna came in. She wore her nightshirt. She went to Van and embraced him tightly.
"Let's sleep now, Van," she said. Van looked at her and nodded his head happily. He then turned to Hitomi.
"Konbanwa. . ." he said. They stood up and left the room. Suddenly, Hitomi sobbed. She never felt so lonely before. Her eyes were lowered and tears came running down on her face.
~*~*~*
'My, imouto.
I hope she didn't grieve for me when I left. She's too expressional of her childish feelings. Well, I just wish she were fine.'
He opened his closed eyes and looked at the sleeping woman in front of him. Her blonde hair spread over her back-some were covering her face half-lit by the moon's light. She looked like an angel. Her lips were pink and her rosy cheeks were distinct. He lifted his hand and held her cheek gently so as not to wake her up. Her skin was warm under his fingers and the sensation eased the aching muscles of his callused hand. He moved his hand across her face and brushed it tenderly. He accidentally touched her delicate lips and felt worried that he might destroy the sound sleep of the lady-but.nothing happened luckily. She was asleep and didn't even move a bit. He sighed deeply and was grateful for that. He didn't want to interrupt the lady's dreams. Yes, dreams. But he once interrupted them before. More of his fault than his grandfather's. Suddenly, he brought his face closer to hers and gazed at her features. His eyes were midnight blue and sadness filled his lips that he began to frown. She was his friend-even before, when they were still children-when they were having the dreams of their lives achieved. His grandpa thought that they were perfectly meant for each other so he arranged their marriage immediately. They had to be engaged that early. But it wasn't their choice, besides she loved another man. And she desired for him. But his grandfather stopped her and commanded his cohorts to salvage her loved man instead. Her life was torn down completely when she knew what happened and it made a vast void in her heart. She never knew the true killer because no one dared to speak. That was how powerful his grandfather was. And that power he contained was just too much that he can kill anyone to attain what he sought after. And then when Van came, she was able to build her dreams again. She was able to cope with her situation and it is all because of him. She fell in love with him- body and soul. Unfortunately, he had no special feelings for her and he will still be her childhood best friend. His heart needed a woman who will love him because he is himself-not because he is like her past man. He understood her somehow. And he didn't want to hurt her so he tried everything to fall in love with her. But it was useless. It's true, he wanted to protect her from other people who'll hurt her. But his feelings for her won't ever go beyond that.
'Gomenasai.'
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips on hers. His felt warm and satisfied. But he was trembling. He felt that she melted in his arms. She became fragile and weak because of his kiss. But he could not caress her body. It was so young, gentle and tender. He didn't want to hurt her. He slowly removed his lips and looked at her once again. Sadness. that was the feeling his lips expressed. He noticed the flood of tears on her face. She was disappointed at what she felt. The thing that she wanted to feel wasn't there. Instead there were apology, sadness and guilt that mingled between them. 'Millerna, I'm very sorry,' his thought abated and he was able to sleep.
~*~*~*
"Ohayou, Hitomi," Van greeted as he assisted Millerna as she sat down. Hitomi smiled sweetly then continued to eat her breakfast. Van sat beside her and broke a piece of her bread. He gingerly ate the piece and was very careful about his manners.
'He's so refined. But how did he become so gentle?' she thought as she observed his graceful acts. He got a napkin and carefully wiped his mouth then folded it and placed beside hi plate.
"Arigato for the food," he said. He looked at Millerna and grinned widely. "I'll just take a shower. Please wait for me," he told her. She nodded her head. He stood up and left them.
"Millerna kept quiet as she drank her tea. She didn't speak to her as much as possible. But suddenly, Hitomi opened up a conversation that she might drop too.
"How long will you stay here?" she asked her. She shrugged and sighed. "I have to wait until Van decides to marry me. We haven't discussed that matter yet. And right now, I'm still waiting." She replied. "Umm.do you think I have a chance? I mean-will he ever marry me?"
Hitomi was shocked at what she said. She has never met a girl like her before. She was very open to her feelings. 'Maybe, she's not that flirtatious after all. I can befriend her and help her to Van.' She smiled sweetly-her light brown eyes shone.
"Of course, Van likes a simple woman like you. But don't flirt so much with him. You have to be humble in whatever you do. Remember, simplicity is beauty," she sophisticatedly answered. Millerna chuckled at what she has just said. Her face was blushing with laughter.
"You're a good adviser, Hitomi. Thanks!" she said. Hitomi laughed too and they began to like each other. "You know what? I can help you to Allen and you can help me to Van. Isn't it great?!" she said. Hitomi nodded in response. And they began to laugh again. Suddenly, Van came. He wore a formal coat and a blue necktie. He held two suitcases.
"Let's go now, Millerna," he said. She stood up and went to him. Then she waved good bye to Hitomi.
"Ja ne!" she said. Hitomi nodded her head and grinned widely. Then they went away. 'Why is he wearing formal clothes? I thought he's just a waiter?' she thought.
~*~*~*
Author's Notes: This work is by me of course. But the characters are originally made by Shoji Kawamori(is he?) Well, I'm sorry I have to put the disclaimer at the middle part of this story. Again, please read, review and enjoy. For any comments, corrections or violent reactions or even requests, you can e-mail me at kaymordeno@yahoo.com because I really want this fic to be great. If you have any cool ideas in your mind that can help me in finishing this story, please do tell me! Well, on with the story. . .
He opened the shoji and went inside his office. Millerna followed him and put his suitcases beside his table. He sat down on the upholstered chair and turned on his laptop.
Suddenly, she interrupted him.
"Won't you tell her the truth?" she asked. He stopped checking some files and faced her. "No, Millerna. I don't want her feelings towards me change. She'd be upset if I tell her. Besides, she's contented to live with a lie. She has never known truths of mysteries. And I want to be one of the mystery in her life," he said calmly. He sighed exhaustingly and put on his eyeglasses. His midnight blue eyes shone as he quietly sat on his chair. A feeling of anxiety sailed in his magnificent eyes.
'Those eyes do not belong to my Van. They belong to the Van that left me before,' she thought sadly. Suddenly, he looked at her and she began to blush. She lowered her head as she flushed more. 'Oh, God! Take off his eyes on me.'
His eyes were so charming. They seem to look in other's soul as he looks at those people. It seems to reveal secrets that the person in front of him was hiding. That's why she took off her own away from his. She's afraid he might to know the truth. The truth that she was truly, madly and deeply in love with him and that she did not want to lose him.
"Millerna, daijobou de gozaru ka?" he asked. She was startled at what she heard. She lifted her head and saw the worried look on his face. She began to smile sweetly. "Hai. Well, I need to go. I will meet you later," she said as she stood up. He nodded his head. Then she came closer to him and pressed a kiss on his lips. She held his face and tasted his breath. Then she let go of hers to gasp for air. "Ja," she said. She went to door and went away.
Van continued his work again. He surfed the net and checked his e-mail. There was a letter for him. He opened it as he clicked the mouse and realized it was from his imouto, Merle. He grinned widely and was very happy at what he just received.
'Domo arigato gozaimasu, imouto. I appreciated it so much,' he thought happily.
But,
He didn't know.
That that letter.
Would change.
His life.
Forever.
~*~*~*
"S-stop!" she cried. "Okay? You don't understand me. I said I can't take this relationship anymore. You're getting farther from me. I hate this kind of feeling-of being neglected because of stupid reasons. And you'd just come up here and kiss me?! Do you think I can forgive you? I've suffered enough from what you have done! Don't be so insensitive! You know what you've been doing and I personally just don't like it!"
Tears fell out of her eyes. Her brown iris got smaller as the feeling of exploitation pounded her heart. She was very angry with him. Her patience was gone and she couldn't stand it any longer.
"I trusted you," she spoke as she began to calm down. "But did you trust me?! No! Instead you didn't wait. You haven't waited. You haven't stopped yourself. You know I don't have the ability to cheat on people. You should've at least trusted me, for God's sake!"
"Let me explain." he broke in. Suddenly, she slapped him. Her hand was trembling-afraid that she was wrong.
"No! Tell me-can you explain what happened between you and that prostitute?! I saw you both. You had sex! And I was there the whole time. You cheated on me and you never told me about it. Now, you are here asking me to have marriage with you?! Allen, I've had enough of you! You've been lying to me the whole time and still you haven't stopped. Now, I'm beginning to realize that this marriage of yours is a big perfect lie!" She burst crying. She paused every time she breathed in. It was too painful for her. Her heart was torn apart because of the intense feelings she was experiencing. Memories shook her mind every time she'd look at his face. But anger blocked her brain. She knew it was a torture to let him go. But she had no other choice. 'It's either I break up with him or I get tied up with him as his stupid wife.No, I couldn't choose being his wife. Dammit, he lied. He had lied. What else could he do when we're married?!' He tried to touch her face. But she violently pushed him.
"I've had enough of this.I don't want to suffer anymore." She spoke. "I hate you, Allen!!!" She slapped him once again making it sure that she'll release all her anger. But there were still forgiveness and love standing by-waiting for her to speak it out.
Silence. . .
His eyes widened in shock. His cheek started to ache and felt a stream of blood rushing down from it. He turned his head to her and looked at her earth brown eyes.
"Have. . .have I neglected you so much?
I loved you with all my heart and soul.
But what's the reason behind your complaints and intense feelings about me?
You were never open to me not that I really wanted you to be.
You've been always secretive of your feelings mostly the pains you feel inside.
You don't want to share it with me.
Is this the reason we built a relationship?
To hide the pains and sufferings inside and not share it with the other?" he said. She didn't look at him. Fear overcame her feelings.
"I've always asked you if you love me, Hitomi. But, God, did you answer? Oh wel-you said 'maybe'. But is that enough for me to hear your answer? I never knew that there was wrong about what I showed you. But.but where did you get all the things you've said?" he spoke. Suddenly, she slapped him once, releasing all her anger. She looked down on him with crimson eyes0eyes that do not belong to her true self.
"I got them from you STUPID ASS! DAMMIT, I'LL LET YOU GO! YOU'RE FREE NOW. IN FACT WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THAT WOMAN WHO DESTROYED ME?! SHE'D SURELY FILL UP THE VOID IN YOUR SORRY ASS!!!" she cursed him. She went away angrily as if a storm destroyed the room. He sat there silently-stupefied at what she did to him. He never thought he had hurt her so much to the point that she'll manifest her anger by mental and physical torture-things he couldn't stand. 'So.she had known what I've done. I thought she hadn't seen me that night. I also thought that I've hid that secret so well. But obviously, I was wrong again.' Tears rushed on his face and blood flowed on his cheek. He could feel the sensation burying deeper and melting his skin. He tried to block his memories but her face kept on flashing in his mind. Those crimson eyes gazed at him as if he was the most evil person in the world. He never knew her true self. He never knew the true girl behind the one he loved so dearly.
~*~*~*
The words stung him. They were like a poison to his soul. They kept on repeating and jabbing his face. He didn't want that to happen. He was so sorry for himself, for her whom he loved so mush. He was about to go back and see her but now he had no reason. She died.
DEAR VAN,
I HOPE YOU'RE IN GOOD HEALTH. WE MISS YOU SO MUCH. BUT DON'T SMILE YET. BECAUSE I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU THAT-
MOTHER'S GONE. SHE DIED LAST SATURDAY. GOMENASAI. I TRIED TO CALL YOU BUT I FORGOT YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND GRANPA ADVISED ME TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT-SO I E-MAILED. SORRY, BRO. I THINK THERE'S NO MORE REASON TO GO BACK HERE. YOU SHOULD STAY THERE AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. GOMEN.
YOUR IMOUTO, MERLE
P.S. BETTER NOT SEND ME A REPLY. GRANDPA WOULD SURELY KNOW.
Behind his ocean blue eyes were the faintest stream of tears. 'I was wrong to leave you. Mother, sorry.'
Flashback:
"Why do you have to leave? Are you not contented?" she asked. Her nose was pink and her sweet voice turned hoarse. He lifted his hand and wiped the tears in her amber haze eyes. She was so gentle and too expressive of her feelings. "Mother, I'm contented. I just want to find my destiny, my fate. I want to live life in my own. Don't worry. If I'd be able to meet my fate, I'll come back and visit you," he said. He tried to explain to her. But her mother's love for her child made her not able to understand. She burst crying in his soft but firm with love embrace.
"But what if.you won't meet your fate? Will you still come back?" she asked as she looked at her son. Her eyes were red and tears still welled up. He wiped them by his thumb and smiled sweetly. "I have one word, mother. I don't want you to be anxious because of me. I'll come back. Promise," he said.
End of FB:
'I'm so stupid to live away from you! I haven't even said good bye to you,' he thought as he buried his face on his cold trembling hands. It was too painful for him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't left, maybe she would have still lived by now. It was all his fault. 'I-I am so sorry, mother.' He mused.
Suddenly, the door opened.
"Mr. Fanell, Ms. Millerna is. . ." the woman stopped as she saw him crying on his table. She was shocked. She was about to come closer to him when she decided to call Millerna. After a moment, she dashed in and comforted him. She sat beside him and laid his body on her chest. She stroked his hair gently. "What happened, Van? Huh?" she asked. He continued crying. Tears rushed out. He couldn't speak. "Van, tell me what happened." She asked again. This time, he looked up at her, eyes filled with sorrow and tears.
"You won't understand. You won't feel what-I'm.feeling right now. It's painful here," he said as he clenched his fist and put it on his chest. She was shocked at what he said. She let go of him as he sat up and wiped his tears. "You'll never understand my situation!" he cried as he left.
"Van!" she shouted. But he left.
~*~*~*
He went inside his car and locked himself inside. He cried and cried. He got his car key inside his pocket and started the engine. Suddenly, heavy rain poured from the sky and thunder and lightning rolled. The road was slippery and it was perilous to continue but he still drove. He wanted to release all his anger and tremendous sorrow inside. If he can't release it by tears, he'll just drive through this bad weather and manifest his sadness. 'I don't care.whether I'll die.or not. Besides, she's gone. Whom do I have to live for? No one!'
"Why did you leave me? Is it because I never fulfilled my promise to you?" he asked himself. He drove faster. Tears blurred his vision besides of the heavy rain banging loudly on his car. It was dark and he can't see clearly, until a ten-wheeler truck came skidding. He hadn't seen it so.
"NOOOOO!!!!" he cried. His car bumped the truck and was thrown into the air and as soon as it landed on the ground, skidded. The truck blew up while the car caught flames and was burned.
TBC.
Author: WAHAHAHA!!!I'M EVIL. *grins* Gawsh, that was a very long chapter. My fingers are so tired. Well, hope you enjoyed it and please review. By the way, for the Allen fans out there, I'm sorry I have to make him that evil. Because the truth is, I really, really hate him! ^__^ Don't hurt me. And sorry too for the Van Fanell fans out there because I had to make him cry that much. Well, so much for these things. Ja, minna-san!!!
