Note on the timing: The later scenes of "Bowling for Eric" provided too
much opportunity to miss, so, Simon's not grounded, "The Enemy Within"
didn't happen, and right after the chapter 3, Simon finds out their going
bowling.
* * *
Bowling.
Anything thing else he could handle, but bowling? After what he now knew? It would be impossible. Definitely, impossible. "Mom, restrict me from family!" he begged.
"No, I think this will be good for you," she said.
"But Mom-" what could he say next? If you knew what I knew? He'd promised Lucy he wouldn't tell.
"No buts! You're Dad wants family time and we're going to have family time, whether I like it or not!"
Simon got ready to go bowl. Lucy didn't talk to him, and moved silently through the house. He wanted to stop her, tell her, "Talk to Dad, get rid of Kevin," but he couldn't. He'd seen it, in her eyes. Fear-not just of Kevin, but of him as well, and he couldn't take it.
"Everyone in the car!" Simon went. He could have skipped out, but then everyone (and he meant everyone) would have wanted to know what was wrong, and he couldn't tell them. This, horrible as it was, wasn't his to tell. Besides, Kevin was a police officer, so who would believe him? It was doubtful whether Lucy would back him up.
The bowling alley had changed in the decade since they'd last gone, but their family had changed more. 'Dad better have a good reason for this,' Simon thought. 'Getting all of us together on a Friday night. Nothing could be wrong, could it? Nah, he doesn't know about Lucy. He's probably decided he has some medical problem without even going to a doctor.'
"Let's play on teams," Dad said, "wouldn't that be fun?" the suggestion fell flat, and only Dad wasn't surprised. The family couldn't get it together, nothing could go right. Randomly, Dad would pull one of them aside, and tell them he loved them. Simon was convinced he was overdoing it. What could he be going through, open-heart surgery? Whatever it was, he didn't have a fallen angel on his hands.
He'd always thought Lucy was perfect. Quirky, definitely, more than a little odd, but still, she was his older sister. She'd never gotten into trouble like Mary had, and she'd always had time to take care of Sam and David. She'd fall in and out of love with more guys than Simon had even seen girls, but she'd still had time to do things like build a house for Habitat for Humanity and still get better grades than he got. But now the older sister that he'd sometimes hated and sometimes loved had fallen. And he couldn't help her. Families were supposed to help each other, and he couldn't do anything!
Needless to say, none of this had a very good effect on Simon's bowling.
Dad tried to talk to him, more than once, but Simon kept brushing him off. He couldn't afford a heart-to-heart, not now, when given half a chance he'd tell what he'd seen in the bathroom so few hours earlier. And-what would Kevin do to him if he told? He carried a gun.could he kill? 'It is a long step up from just hitting my sister. How can I even think that so calmly? Just hitting my sister?'
'How am I ever going to do this?'
Yelling bounced around the family, and those around them titled their heads to take notice. 'Sorry, I've got too much on my mind to care about my family's reputation. Besides, I'm not the one who's lying to his wife.'
They left the bowling alley, half the clan not speaking to the other half the clan, Lucy sitting in silence, "fighting" with Kevin, and Simon, feeling as if his entire world had just collapsed, and no one could tell but him.
"Simon," his dad stopped him before he went upstairs. "What was with you tonight? We went out to have to quality family time and you don't say two words to anybody! What's your problem?"
"My problem? You have no idea what my life is like. You have no idea what it's like to be your son, no idea of the things people ask me to do, the things I have to do, the things I can't talk about."
"Simon, your problem is that you think your life's bad and everyone is horrible to you. That people expect a greater standard of behavior from you because you're a minister's son. Maybe they do. Maybe they should."
Simon drags something from the zombie-memory of the bowling alley. "At the bowling alley you said you were scared of what would happen if you weren't around to teach me the things that you want me to learn. I'll tell you what would happen if you weren't around. I'd be a normal guy," 'I wouldn't have to help my sister bandage wounds from her boyfriend,' he silenced the thought and went on. "without having to live up to your ideas of what's right and what's wrong.I'd be happy."
"Simon, you don't mean that."
His Dad is pained, but he goes on. "I think I do."
"I love you," his dad says as he said so many times before.
"Just love me less, would you?" Simon goes up the stairs, and leans against the wall, breathing hard. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said any of those things.
Downstairs, he can hear his father moving around, and very softly praying. In a split-second, Simon decides, and goes back to the kitchen. "Dad."
"Oh, is there something you didn't get to say?"
"No, I want you to understand why I said what I said.and that I wasn't making it up."
"Okay, tell me. What's so wrong in your life?"
"Today I found out that Kevin hits Lucy. Hard."
* * *
Bowling.
Anything thing else he could handle, but bowling? After what he now knew? It would be impossible. Definitely, impossible. "Mom, restrict me from family!" he begged.
"No, I think this will be good for you," she said.
"But Mom-" what could he say next? If you knew what I knew? He'd promised Lucy he wouldn't tell.
"No buts! You're Dad wants family time and we're going to have family time, whether I like it or not!"
Simon got ready to go bowl. Lucy didn't talk to him, and moved silently through the house. He wanted to stop her, tell her, "Talk to Dad, get rid of Kevin," but he couldn't. He'd seen it, in her eyes. Fear-not just of Kevin, but of him as well, and he couldn't take it.
"Everyone in the car!" Simon went. He could have skipped out, but then everyone (and he meant everyone) would have wanted to know what was wrong, and he couldn't tell them. This, horrible as it was, wasn't his to tell. Besides, Kevin was a police officer, so who would believe him? It was doubtful whether Lucy would back him up.
The bowling alley had changed in the decade since they'd last gone, but their family had changed more. 'Dad better have a good reason for this,' Simon thought. 'Getting all of us together on a Friday night. Nothing could be wrong, could it? Nah, he doesn't know about Lucy. He's probably decided he has some medical problem without even going to a doctor.'
"Let's play on teams," Dad said, "wouldn't that be fun?" the suggestion fell flat, and only Dad wasn't surprised. The family couldn't get it together, nothing could go right. Randomly, Dad would pull one of them aside, and tell them he loved them. Simon was convinced he was overdoing it. What could he be going through, open-heart surgery? Whatever it was, he didn't have a fallen angel on his hands.
He'd always thought Lucy was perfect. Quirky, definitely, more than a little odd, but still, she was his older sister. She'd never gotten into trouble like Mary had, and she'd always had time to take care of Sam and David. She'd fall in and out of love with more guys than Simon had even seen girls, but she'd still had time to do things like build a house for Habitat for Humanity and still get better grades than he got. But now the older sister that he'd sometimes hated and sometimes loved had fallen. And he couldn't help her. Families were supposed to help each other, and he couldn't do anything!
Needless to say, none of this had a very good effect on Simon's bowling.
Dad tried to talk to him, more than once, but Simon kept brushing him off. He couldn't afford a heart-to-heart, not now, when given half a chance he'd tell what he'd seen in the bathroom so few hours earlier. And-what would Kevin do to him if he told? He carried a gun.could he kill? 'It is a long step up from just hitting my sister. How can I even think that so calmly? Just hitting my sister?'
'How am I ever going to do this?'
Yelling bounced around the family, and those around them titled their heads to take notice. 'Sorry, I've got too much on my mind to care about my family's reputation. Besides, I'm not the one who's lying to his wife.'
They left the bowling alley, half the clan not speaking to the other half the clan, Lucy sitting in silence, "fighting" with Kevin, and Simon, feeling as if his entire world had just collapsed, and no one could tell but him.
"Simon," his dad stopped him before he went upstairs. "What was with you tonight? We went out to have to quality family time and you don't say two words to anybody! What's your problem?"
"My problem? You have no idea what my life is like. You have no idea what it's like to be your son, no idea of the things people ask me to do, the things I have to do, the things I can't talk about."
"Simon, your problem is that you think your life's bad and everyone is horrible to you. That people expect a greater standard of behavior from you because you're a minister's son. Maybe they do. Maybe they should."
Simon drags something from the zombie-memory of the bowling alley. "At the bowling alley you said you were scared of what would happen if you weren't around to teach me the things that you want me to learn. I'll tell you what would happen if you weren't around. I'd be a normal guy," 'I wouldn't have to help my sister bandage wounds from her boyfriend,' he silenced the thought and went on. "without having to live up to your ideas of what's right and what's wrong.I'd be happy."
"Simon, you don't mean that."
His Dad is pained, but he goes on. "I think I do."
"I love you," his dad says as he said so many times before.
"Just love me less, would you?" Simon goes up the stairs, and leans against the wall, breathing hard. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said any of those things.
Downstairs, he can hear his father moving around, and very softly praying. In a split-second, Simon decides, and goes back to the kitchen. "Dad."
"Oh, is there something you didn't get to say?"
"No, I want you to understand why I said what I said.and that I wasn't making it up."
"Okay, tell me. What's so wrong in your life?"
"Today I found out that Kevin hits Lucy. Hard."
