It is not the kind of thing you easily forget. When your father comes out of you sister's room in tears, and all he can say is, "Now she's scared of me," it changes you in ways that you can't even begin to believe.

Lucy was gone. He was forced to believe that, to accept it. But he would find himself, looking for her for homework help or just to talk, but she wouldn't be there. And he would curse himself, 'Why didn't I notice it before? Why didn't I look for her before? If I had, maybe she wouldn't be gone now.'

But he couldn't get it touch with her. He supposed Dad knew, but he might not even have been told. Lucy had left, been sent away, to save her, but unlike Mary, this time it was necessary, and this time there had been no other options.

Kevin was gone. He'd been sent, not back to Buffalo, but to some little town in Nebraska or maybe Kansas. States nobody noticed, or really cared about.

And so here he was. It seemed cliché to say that nothing would ever be the same, but it was the truth. What was he left with, after all? Mom just pretended Lucy never existed---it made it easier for her, rather than think she hadn't noticed her daughter's scars. After all, someone should have known.

And always he saw the betrayal in her eyes. Everyone told him he'd done right to tell, that he protected her, that know Kevin couldn't get her anymore, but he couldn't stop seeing her eyes, half-frightened, but have angry. He promised not to tell. Simon knew that you were never supposed to keep secrets that might hurt someone else, but the people who gave that advice didn't have anything to help him now.

And he blamed himself. He didn't have anything to help him here, for those he would have turned to blamed themselves too. Matt, far enough away that he'd never met Kevin, alone had nothing to reproach himself with. Robbie blamed himself, for the way he treated Lucy last year, and Dad blamed himself for being so oblivious.

They all should have known, should have suspected that it would be Lucy, gentle, quiet Lucy, who this would happen to. Mary could fight back, and she had, once. Ruthie could avoid guys like that, but it was Lucy who could be trapped by them. And no one had even noticed. That was perhaps worst of all. All of them would just have assumed that Lucy was being immature and stone-walling for some stupid reason if Simon hadn't happened on her accidentally.

But that didn't make it any better. Ben had left, after apologizing profusely for his brother and saying that he'd never thought it would happen again. At that remark, he'd been thrown out of the house, and drummed out of Glen Oak.

Except there in lay the problem. They couldn't tell anyone else about this- not even the Colonel knew the entire story. He'd only been told that Lucy had needed to "find herself". Simon bitterly acknowledged that that was true-'but she wouldn't have needed to find herself if we hadn't been so blind!'

Simon noticed then that the twins had gotten lost in the shuffle. In the flurry of Lucy's departure and Kevin's temper tantrum, no one had noticed them. Simon knew they had nothing to do with and couldn't even really be told anything beyond, "Lucy had to go away," but he couldn't help feeling jealous. They knew nothing of this; they hadn't seen their favorite sister bleeding from the hands of one who had been supposed to protect her.

But she'd been so easy to miss. She'd stopped saying much, and unlike Mary she wasn't dating someone twice her age, nor was she in medical school. Aside from the big fuss she'd made about Kevin reading her diary.someone should have clued in with that, really.

But no one had.

Simon bathed David. Lucy had done a lot with them, but it was weird that they were being so neglected. Well, it had been a big shock. 'Just a little bit ago, we were normal. No, better than normal. And now.'

David went into bed. Sam went into the bath. He'd taught Ruthie how to swim in the bathtub. Man, he'd been a goofy little kid. It was hard for him to see himself in that goofy little kid. "Did I do the right thing?"

"I don't know."

"Huh?"

Sam merely burbled back at him. "You're no help," Simon told him gently.

"Lucy," he replied.

"She's gone."

"Did bad man hurt Lucy?"

"Yes," Simon was forced to answer. Sam didn't answer, and Simon put him to bed.

"Goodnight guys. I love you."

"I love you, too," they answered.

And now he was alone. Everyone was too wrapped up in their blame to notice him. Simon shut his door and began to pray, "God, I know everything happens for the best, but if so, why did this happen to Lucy?"

There was no answer.

Simon hadn't really expected one. God didn't talk to him, not even like He talked to his father, little nudges in the right direction. "God, if everything happens for a reason, why am I still so alone?"