He woke and slept to anger. Anger at God, anger at Kevin, at his parents. He had always felt that Lucy was one of those who would do something wonderful for the world, but that was from long ago. He'd seen it in her eyes-Kevin had killed whatever was left of that girl. And his parents had just stood by-even helped him! Simon knew he shouldn't blame his parents for not knowing. After all, he had only discovered by accident, but even so.

After September 11, he'd been forced to acknowledge that there are some problems parents can't fix, but why couldn't they even protect their daughter in their own home?

Simon took a deep breath, and continued to stare out the window. At least it was raining. For the past week the sun had shone brightly, and he didn't think he could bare it anymore. The weather should take notice when something so drastic happened. Sunlight made a mockery of all the grief he was feeling. He had, briefly, wondered if it would be better if Lucy had died. Then he could mourn, properly and in the end, forget about it.

But this way, she was out there, and he couldn't get in touch with her. Sure, Matt was in New York and Mary was in Florida, but both of them had been strong in their own ways. No one had tried to break either of them. He couldn't stay out of school either-something about trying to present a "no-problem" front to the people of Glen Oak. Frankly, Simon thought that the people of Glen Oak would unify behind them and Eric would be accepted as a leader even more so than he was now.

Simon had never felt so helpless in his life.

'I couldn't help Lucy. Heck, I thought Kevin was a pretty good guy 'cause he got Ruthie to stop eavesdropping. I never suspected that he would beat her.' The rain fell some more, and he thought. Like a lamb led to slaughter. Lucy had gone willingly to Kevin that was what freaked him out the most. 'What if I'm like that, when I grow up?'

He'd flirted with the idea of suicide, but he knew nothing would come of it. Flirting was exactly what he did. The sacrifice that resulted in his death wouldn't help anybody, least of all Lucy or someone like her out. If anything, they would have one less person to help them out if they needed it.

"But if I did die, would I leave anything important behind me? Have I done anything? Sure, I dropped that baby off at the hospital, but that wasn't even that great-only Claire will ever know I did anything, anyway. And so what if I did safe Lucy's life? I couldn't protect her. Face, it Simon, no one's life has been at all improved because you've walked this earth."

He faced that thought squarely, but couldn't gainsay it. It was true, after all, he'd spent all his time rebelling and claiming to be a man and goofing off that he hadn't done anything. At all. The thought was depressing, but he didn't shrink from it. The very anger he'd been feeling helped him here, to not falter.

"Fine. My death would help no one, and my life's been no good up till now. So what can I do? What can I do to change all that? To make Lucy be better and come home! To make Kevin go away." Revenge had never really crossed his mind. He'd always been grown up in that respect.he could see how beating up Kevin would probably only get himself hurt and serve to feed Kevin's psychosis.

He then got a glimmer of something, deep in his soul. Like there was light, and he just had to go through the darkness to get to it. "That's it." His voice was far firmer than in been in days, even though he spoke to no one. "I'll give my life. I'll live because Lucy can't do whatever she was supposed to do anymore."

With that thought, the idea of his homework became bearable again. You have to know things to be able to change the world, after all. Simon closed his blinds on the rain and turned on his light. There were things he could do. Maybe someone at Crawford would know how he could help. Or maybe someone at school. But there was something he could do, maybe, if not to help Lucy, to make sure it didn't happen to anyone else.

Simon flipped open his chemistry book. It didn't seem like much, but maybe he could best serve Lucy by being a good son, and a good brother, and a good person.

His English paper would be easy to write now, for he'd discovered a universal truth. For it, or anything to really count, you must live for your beliefs, not die for them.