A/N and Disclaimer- This is the first fan fic I've ever done so please be nice to me. Also, I own none of this, so please don't sue me because JK Rowling deserves all the credit!



"How many times have I told you?! You are to add the lacewings first and then the stewed beetles!" The potion in the cauldron boiled over and out onto the countertop.

Severus Snape felt like life could sink no lower. No matter how hard he tried, he could not make that near-squib Longbottom comprehend one direction ever given to him. It's not that he ever wanted to fail a student (well, at least not ALL the time...), he just would not settle for anything less than what was satisfactory to him, though this morning, satisfactory would not be the way he would describe it.

It started with waking up in his usual dark and musty chambers, and then accompanied by a cold shower, though, he didn't like the coldness. Stupid house elves, they never heat my water, thought Snape bitterly. From there, he went onto the Great Hall for breakfast. Albus Dumbledore had eaten the last bit of buttered toast and he was left with the dry, crusty leftovers. To make matters worse, Trelawny had offered to give him a private palmistry reading. Snape shuddered at the thought of being alone with that woman in her misty tower and having to endure her holding his hand while giving crackpot predictions about his life. He never even gave her an answer, but immediately stood up and half-sprinted to the safety of his dungeons. There he waited until his first class started. The room was filled with first year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who didn't have a bloody clue about what boomslang skin was. When the time came for Double Potions with the Slytherins and Gryffindors, the day had gone completely downhill, and it wasn't even lunch yet. He would never admit it out loud, but the fifth year Slytherins were the thickest students he'd ever had to teach. The Gryffindors were fairly up to the challenge of the day's potion, with the exception of Longbottom. Hermione Granger even relieved him today. Knowing that at least one person knew what they were doing meant it was one less person he had to worry about. Snape brought himself back to the present thinking about this. With her knowing what to do, it should've made the day better, but with her being a Gryffindor actually made him feel worse.

Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Seamus Finnigan were all trying to get out of the way. They had been working at the same table as Neville Longbottom and when the potion boiled over, it melted not only the cauldron, but the countertop as well.

"Just move out of the way! I do not want to be held responsible for a Gryffindor's careless actions," sneered Snape. "Twenty points from Gryffindor."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and Neville began to move quickly, so that Snape couldn't think of anymore reasons to take points away from them. Neville had just moved too quickly for his own good, and, unfortunately, for Snape, made his day even worse. Neville slipped, and, trying to catch his feet, knocked the cauldron over, right onto Snape. He was covered in an orange, vivacious potion. The class went dead silent.

"Everyone is to wait here," Snape said in his most quiet and deadly voice. "And Longbottom, you owe me three days detention." He then hurried off to the staff bathroom to wash the potion off.

"Thank god Longbottom didn't add the active ingredients to the potion or I'd be shriveling up like a prune," Snape said aloud to himself as he washed the potion off. At that moment, he heard a chuckle coming from behind him.

"Too bad; you'd probably look better as a prune."

Snape turned around to find himself facing a short, balding man who looked very malicious.

"Pettigrew! How did you get in here?" Snape demanded.

"You forget, Severus, that I am an animagus," Pettigrew replied.

"What are you doing here? I'm surprised that you're brave enough to come back here while Albus is still headmaster," Snape said slyly.

"I have...business to attend to...," Pettigrew looked around with an apprehensive look on his face. "My master is wondering why he hasn't seen you at any of the Death Eater summonings he's called for."

"I have been busy, teaching his new followers." Snape had a worried look on his face.

"You have disappointed him. He expects a better lie out of you than this one. Traitors are never allowed back in his presence." Pettigrew looked triumphant as he said these words to Snape.

"What?" Snape now looked almost scared; a look not often found on his face.

"He knows all about you and your spying for Dumbledore, He has now sent me t punish you," said Pettigrew, vengefully.

"He just made that excuse up to get rid of you from his sight. I'm surprised Voldemort's risen as far as he has with someone like you helping him," Snape said, trying to cover for himself. Pettigrew flinched at hearing his master's name.

Pettigrew looked angered by this, but did his best to ignore it. "I've been sent here to punish you."

"What exactly are you going to do to me?" Snape asked, suspiciously.

"On the loneliest days of the Dark Lord's life while waiting for the power to come back, he had nothing to do but to think and plot. He came up with a punishment worthy of any traitor," Pettigrew explained. "You, Severus, will have the pleasure of being the first to experience this new form of torture. Before this curse is done, you'll be begging the Dark Lord to use the Cruciatus or Avada Kedavra curses on you." This time, Pettigrew could easily see the horror expressed on Snape's face. Snape began to reach for his wand, but as he put his hand in his pocket, he realized it was back on his desk in his office.

"Not so tough without your wand now are we, eh, Severus?" Pettigrew said gleefully. He had him right where he wanted him. Snape had nowhere to go. Pettigrew lifted his wand, pointed it straight at Snape, and bellowed, "Toiletus Folltrum!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *


Snape sat upright and found himself breathing very hard. He was feeling quite confused and shaken. As he looked around, he saw that he was no longer in the staff bathroom, but in his bed. His chambers looked as they always did, dark and gloomy, and there was no sign of sunlight whatsoever.

It must've been a dream, he thought. Thank god for that. He got up and felt a lot less uneasy. He decided that the best way to get his mind off of that horrible nightmare was to start his day off with his usual routine. He turned the water on for his shower and found that it was hot! Snape actually smiled at this; for once, his day had already a good start. He headed for the Great Hall and on the way, he discovered Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter verbally abusing each other like always. He knew good and well that Harry hadn't started it, but given his normal perspective of things, he took twenty points from Gryffindor. He was going to make every situation turn to the Slytherins advantage; he was not going to let Gryffindor win the house cup yet again this year. As he turned and walked away, he saw that many people in the corridors were giving him strange looks. Even more strange than was customary...

At breakfast, the day seemed to progress even more. Dumbledore offered him the last slice of buttered toast and Sibyl Trelawny was barricaded high up in the North Tower with a terrible head cold. At last, he got up to leave to go prepare for the day's class in the dungeons. When he stood up and walked down from the staff table, he heard Dumbledore sniggering. Snape turned around.

"What's so funny, headmaster?" he asked.

"Nothing, Severus, nothing at all," replied Dumbledore with a smile. Snape gave him a less than amused look and continued on his way. Again, he got more unusual reactions out of people while walking down the corridors. Snape chose to ignore it all and go about his day. It wasn't until the class with Slytherins and Gryffindors that he finally gave in.

"Okay, what is so funny?" Snape asked. Everyone just looked up at him with a different expression on his or her face. "Well? Out with it!" Not surprisingly, Hermione raised her hand, but not at all with the same confidence she would normally use.

"Please, sir, don't be angry, but you've got....you've got...," stuttered Hermione.

"Miss Granger, spit it out, or I will not be held accountable for my actions," Snape spat. Hermione got up, walked up to the front of the classroom, and then to Snape. Hermione whispered something to him, but he did not hear it clearly.

"What?" asked Snape. Hermione repeated herself, this time a little louder.

"You've got...toilet paper...on the bottom of your shoe, Professor," she stammered.

"Excuse me, Miss Granger? What do you mean I have-." Hermione pointed downwards and Snape looked. At that moment, the whole class burst out laughing, and Snape bolted out of the room.

He headed straight for the bathrooms. He arrived there and immediately pulled the toilet paper from the bottom of his shoe. SO this is what everyone had been gawking at throughout the morning, He stood there for a few minutes, staring at his reflection in the mirror, trying to regain back his self-confidence. He got back his courage and left to go back to his classroom.

Snape entered and tried to act as if nothing had happened. However, no else did. All the students kept sniggering and trying to hold back fits of laughter.

"Everyone will learn to control themselves," barked Snape, "and ten points from Gryffindor." He said this while looking at Hermione, but he was secretly grateful to her for actually telling him what was going on. He walked around the front of the classroom lecturing for about a quarter of an hour until everyone laughing out loud at the exact same time interrupted him again, this time.

"Now what?" Snape was getting particularly sick of this day. He looked over at Hermione and saw that she was the only one trying not to laugh. He took this as a hint and looked down at his feet. There, stuck to the bottom of his shoe, was more toilet paper.

"Class dismissed!" yelled Snape. He went back to the bathrooms and picked it off yet again. "How can this be happening? I'm sure I got it off the first time." He stood there pondering and came to the conclusion that it was just another miserable day in the life of Severus Snape. "What I need is a drink."


Snape sat in a table in one of the farthest corners of the Three Broomsticks, a local pub in the nearby village of Hogsmeade. He wanted desperately to get the days events cleared out of his mind.

"What'll it be, Professor Snape?" Madam Rosmerta chimed in, interrupting his thoughts.

"Give me a pint of mulled mead," answered Snape.

"Why don't you come up and sit at the counter?" she asked.

Snape thought on this for a moment and decided that he would. He wouldn't turn down the invitation from a pretty bar maid.

"Sure," he answered with a smile. "And call me Severus."

"Okay, Severus," Rosmerta replied. Snape got up and walked up to the counter of the bar with her and sat down. They had a quiet, but lengthy conversation about odds and ends and different topics. Snape drank his mead, but never finished it because he was so caught up in the dialogue between the two. Finally, he looked at the time and realized he'd been there for nearly three hours.

"I really need to leave, Rosmerta," said Snape. "I have to be back at Hogwarts for dinner."

"Must you?" Rosmerta pleaded, with a tone of sadness in her voice.

"Yes, I have to." He got up and walked towards the door to leave. Before he left he got the idea into his head to ask her out for an evening. He turned around and asked, "Rosmerta, would you-." He stopped at the sight of her and the rest of the pub laughing, everyone was laughing. But why? What could possibly-

"NO! Leave me alone!" he screamed. Snape ran out of the Three Broomsticks and out of Hogsmeade. He began to leisurely walk back to Hogwarts once he was out of sight and picked the toilet paper of his shoe once again. He kept it this time and would take the matter up with Dumbledore.


He reached the castle and walked through the corridors carefully. He did not want to be caught by anyone; he'd had enough embarrassment for the day. He arrived at the entrance to Dumbledore's office and said, "Fizzing Whizbees." He entered the office to find that Dumbledore was already there.

"I saw you coming across the grounds, Severus," Dumbledore said, almost reading Snape's mind.

"Then you know why I'm here", Snape said.

"I don't presume to know everything, but I do like to pretend that I do from time to time," answered Dumbledore. "I assume it has something to do with that roll of toiler paper in your hand." Snape looked down at it briefly and replied, "Yes."

And?" asked Dumbledore. "I don't think you came up here just to show me a roll of toilet paper and to stand there, did you?" Snape always held Dumbledore in high regard, but didn't always appreciate his sense of humor.

"All day," Snape started, "no matter where I go, this" pointing to the toilet paper, "has been stuck to the bottom of my shoe." Dumbledore cracked up laughing.

"Yes," he managed to get out while laughing, "as I observed this morning at the Great Hall during breakfast."

"You saw and didn't bother to say anything to me?" Snape said, angered by this.

"Well, I thought it looked an awful lot like a personal problem," Dumbledore said while doubling up with laughter. For the first time in his life, Snape imagined himself doing something to Dumbledore. He imagined himself taking the toilet paper and wrapping it around Dumbledore's mouth and then standing there laughing at him! However high the temptation was, he fought to keep it down.

"You're being of no help to me, Albus!" Snape said, raising his voice.

"Das Toilettepapier!" Dumbledore squealed. At this, Dumbledore fell onto the floor and rolled around, laughing hysterically. That was the last straw. Snape turned on his heels and marched out of his office, slamming the door behind him. When Snape reached the corridors again, he could still hear the distant roar of laughter coming from Dumbledore's office.


Back in his office, he sat, speculating about what he had to do next. He couldn't go on living his life like this. How did this happen? He paced his office a while, and then picked up more toilet paper from his shoe. Five minutes later, he picked more off. This went on for most of the night. Finally, he became so tired of picking it off that he just gave up. He sat down in his chair and just let his own self-pity consume him. The toilet paper was all rolled up in a huge ball in the corner of his office. Snape's thoughts wandered around until all he did was stare at the toilet paper. He glared at it like a mortal enemy until finally, he just had a glazed look over his coal eyes. Hours passed and then, a movement! A rat scurried out from underneath the huge pile of toilet paper. Snape sat up and took immediate notice to this. The rat looked oddly familiar. A rat... the RAT! It was him! Peter Pettigrew! Snape jumped up from behind his desk, grabbed the nearest roll of toilet paper, and used it to strangle the rat lifeless. "Ha ha! I got him! I finally got him!" Snape yelled with crazed laughter. "I got him... got him.....he's all mine now....that stupid curse won't be able to work if he's dead..." Just then, Mr. Filch came in, followed by Mrs. Norris.

"Dumbledore sent me to check on you. He said you were-" Filch was cut off by a sudden pounce. Mrs. Norris ran around Filch and seized the dead rat lying on the floor. Mrs. Norris picked the rat up and started dragging him away when....

"NO! That is MY rat! Get your own!" Severus growled at the cat. Mrs. Norris just stood there and blinked at him.

"And people think I'm the weird one at this school...." Filch said matter-of-factly.

"I mean it, drop the rat!" Snape was not giving it up without a fight. Mrs. Norris got bored of all this and started to trot away, but not before...

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!" Snape tackled Mrs. Norris down and had a "catfight" with her. "That is MINE! I caught and killed it! You can't have it!" He shouted and screamed. Snape tore the rat from Mrs. Norris' mouth, and she scampered away as fast as she could, with Mr. Filch right behind her. Snape sat with the rat on the floor of his office, rocking back and forth. "It's mine...all mine...," Snape muttered incoherently from time to time.

Finally, the next day, Dumbledore entered Snape's office and laid eyes on Snape. He was completely disheveled. He was holding a rat and rocking back and forth. From behind Dumbledore, two men stood, two very strange looking men.

"Severus, I'm sorry I didn't understand the significance of the matter at hand. I believe that this is partly my fault," Dumbledore said with complete sincerity. Snape just looked up at him, and said, "I found the rat. He did this to me. He did it all. And then I caught him ...and killed him....and now he's mine...all mine..."

Dumbledore looked upon him gravely, for he did not understand what Snape was talking about.

"Severus, these men are going to help you. They're from St. Mungo's and are going to take you some place so you can better," Dumbledore said, consolingly.

"But I found him! I caught him myself!" Severus replied, trying to hold together what was left of his dignity and saneness.

"And I'm sure you did it very well, Severus...."
"But I did!" The two men standing behind Dumbledore came forward and picked him up by his arms. Snape went with them rather unwillingly, meaning they were having to drag him along.

"But it was him! He did this to me...I killed him! It's all over! I don't have to worry about it anymore.....," Snape said rather relieved while being hauled away down the hall by two men, and a roll of toilet paper dragging behind them off the bottom of his shoe.