Disclaimer: I again do NOT own anything mentioned that is Harry Potter. Nor do I own Monty Python. I own the mangos. That's about it. (Though I'd be willing to trade the mangos for either of the ones mentioned before if anyone's interested in making a deal ;)

A/N: Why do I do this? I wait two months EVERY TIME before I update! No more shall I do this! I am going to get into habit of updating OFTEN!!! I also hope to have "From Darkness Comes Light" updated soon. Sorry this chapter is so short and I hope you like it!
Severus Snape just stood there, dumbfounded. He never dreamed that his problems could get any worse. But Alas! They could; for Sirius Black, his hated rival, stood before him.

"What are you doing here?" asked Severus. Sirius just stood there with a mischievous smile. "Well? What do you want! Hurry up and finish so you can leave me be." Sirius' smile faded.

"You know, if I were in your position, I wouldn't be making those kind of comments when you don't even have a wand to defend yourself," replied Sirius.

Severus thought about this for a moment. He hated to admit it, but Sirius was right. He didn't have his wand and even if Sirius didn't use his own wand against him, he could at least transform and run off leaving him with absolutely nothing. Crap.

"Fine," he finally said. "Are you here on your own or did someone send you?"

Sirius seemed glad to hear this question. "Maaaaaybe I'll tell you; maaaaaybe I won't! Don't forget I'm the one with all the power here."

"Oh yes, all-powerful one," Snape said in his most sarcastic tone.

"Don't think you can use that on me; it won't work. You don't intimidate me," said Sirius.

"I don't care if I intimidate you right now! All I want to do is get out of this bloody forest, back to Hogwarts, and away from you!" Snape yelled. Snape made his first mistake.

Sirius decided to exercise his power over Snape by using his own wand against him. The next thing Snape new was...

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh! You turn those back!" Snape screamed.

At each side of Snape, there were no longer arms. Instead a pair of great big mangos had replaced them.

"Are you sure you want me to change them? If you get lost and need food you could always turn them into a nice fruity drink or salad..." Sirius joked.

"TURN THEM BACK!" Snape yelled even louder.

"Ok, ok. Though I must admit, Severus. You have a nice pair of mangos on you."

After Sirius turned his mangos back, they started walking on their way.

"You still haven't told me what you're doing here," Snape said. He was beginning to get very irritated by his mere presence. It made it worse that he didn't even know why he had been following him.

"I suppose I should tell you. Ok, Dumbledore sent me. It's already gotten out that you escaped from St. Mungo's. Dumbledore knew you'd immediately try coming back to Hogwarts and he just figured you could use some er-...assistance," explained Sirius.

Severus thought about this for a little bit. He hated that he'd been so predictable in going back to Hogwarts. "But why'd he send you?"

"I can travel fast enough and he thought we could somehow "work" through our problems. Like that's gonna happen," answered Sirius.

At least we agree on something, thought Snape. "So who's been attempting to take my place as Potions Master while I'm gone?"

"Umm....COUGHioneCOUGH!" came Sirius reply.

"What?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"Yes!"

"Fine. Dumbledore appointed Hermione Granger. She was the only one who knew enough about the subject and she's been working really hard at doing a good job." Snape stopped dead in his tracks. Sirius waited for him to snap.

"You're joking. A muggleborn.... is teaching...MY...Potions class?!?"

"Yes."

"I suppose she's given all her Gryffindor friends fair grades. And that Potter, unbalanced as he is. His father wasted his life and now a wannabe-escaped-convict-hero is left to protect him. It's no wonder Potter's the way he his. Like father like son, and if he isn't careful, he'll end up just like you!" Severus had gotten everything off his chest that he'd wanted to say for years.


Sirius looked hard at Snape and could only think of one thing to say, and he voiced it. "I really hate you."

Severus was caught a little off-guard by this statement even though he knew it was fully true. The fact that an escaped convict Gryffindor was saying it to him brought the Slytherin in him out and he quickly retaliated a come back.

"I really truly hate you." Alright, go me! thought Severus.

Sirius just stared back at him and decided to play along with this infantile game.

"I really truly, madly hate you."

"I really truly, madly, deeply hate you."

"I really truly, madly, deeply, passionately hate you."

"I really truly, madly, deeply, passionately, remarkably hate you." Ha, beat that Black.

"I uhh...uhhh...umm.. I really truly, madly, deeply, passionately, remarkably, deliciously hate you! HA!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight," said Severus, giving Sirius an unsure look. I think I'll stop this here before this becomes worse.

"Hey! Who's the one with the wand here, huh?" threatened Sirius.

"See how stubborn you are?" proclaimed Severus.

"Me?! Stubborn? Well....at least I don't just give out punishments and detentions for the fun of it!" snapped Sirius.

"I never give out detentions if they're not well earned. Each person who gets it deserved every minute of what they got."

"No. You only give out detention because they have long, sexy legs." Sirius said slyly.

"I certainly do not! And I hope I'm right in presuming that you'd be talking about the girls in the first place. Not that that's true, mind you!" Snape said, looking off in a distance.


They walked for what seemed like miles, and they did this in as much silence as they could. Neither of them wanted to talk to each other. When it seemed that they'd be stuck with each other forever, they reached the end of the forest!

"Finally! I don't have to worry about those crazy singing mushrooms catching up with me!" voiced Snape.

Sirius finally became aware of something else and snickered. "I see that you haven't figured out how to lose something else that's been following you."

Snape turned around and said, "Where?!?" Sirius burst out laughing as Snape turned so fast that he tripped and fell yet again over the roll of toilet paper.

"Shut up, Black!"

Sirius slowly stopped laughing. "Ok, now we can apparate back to Hogsmeade and go from there to Hogwarts. Severus did not want to be bossed around by Black but since that was the sensible thing to do and because of the fact that he still had his wand, Severus decided to keep his mouth shut.

They both apparated together to Hogsmeade, which they quickly left because most of the wizarding world would be out looking for Snape.

"We have to hurry!" shouted Sirius.

"Why?" asked Severus.

"I'm not quite sure! We just need to get back to the castle!"

As they ran through a narrow path in the Dark Forest, a tune came to Sirius' mind and it was just one of those things he couldn't help.

"Bravely sane Sir Severus ran forth from St Mungo's.
He was not officially crazy, oh sane, Sir Severus.
He was not at all crazy, but framed by a nasty rat
Sane, sane, sane, sane Sir Severus!"

"STOP THAT!" Snape yelled.

"Sorry... I just like that song...," said Sirius sadly.


After a lot of running and insulting of the way each other ran, they reached the entrance doors of Hogwarts.

"Finally.....we're.....here..." said Severus, out of breath.

"Ok, we should go in and find Dumbledore," said Sirius.

They opened the doors to Hogwarts and found an appalling sight. All of the Hogwarts staff were gathered together and were being utterly crazy. And what's worse: they were SINGING and DANCING:


We're wizards of the Hogwarts staff table
We do magic whene'er we're able
We do magic spells very well
Our wands are very capable
We take points and give detention
When there's this who needs a pension?

At this point, Severus and Sirius looked over and saw Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall get on top of a table and attempt to do a can-can dance. Sirius and Severus quickly closed the door.

"You know," said Sirius, "On second thought, let's not go to Hogwarts. It tis a silly place."
Tis the end of another chapter! I have to right away ask for your forgiveness. I am not very good at writing song parody's and I think I completely mutilated the Monty Python songs. But oh well, I had fun doing it.

Thanks to ALL the people who've reviewed my story and PLEASE leave a review! It doesn't take but a few seconds of your time!
A Special Thank you:
This is going out to envision (Michelle) You helped me out a lot today and I hope you like me putting in our little inside joke ;)