Match Made In Heaven

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Takehito Koyasu © or Project Weiß ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi. Trust me. If you flame despite these warnings… well, I can only say that you're retarded.

Plot Cockroach: Okay, so being match made is a good thing if it's successful… but what if you have a younger sister bent on getting you the love of your life? It sure won't be fun… or it may be. Sit back and relax…

Pairing: Everyone x Ran (literally)

Note: The characters look like that from the manga. AU, more of a weird parody than anything else. Takes place before the explosion, when Ran was still a happy-go-lucky bestest big bro in the world.

_________________

Part Five – Schuldig: In Which Fireflies Appear

This time, Ran didn't even bother to argue. His sister really was bent on getting him to go out with men. But now, something was different. Aya smiled at her brother. "Your last date. I'm not matchmaking you with anyone else, Ran. These are the best of the best I've had in store. My brother will never go out with anyone but the best."

"Fine," Ran looked at his sister from the newspaper he was reading. So far, all his dates had been either pleasant or sweet. He remembered Yohji and blushed a little. They hadn't seen each other in a while and Ran wondered what all his dates thought about him. But pushing the thought aside, he got up to get ready.

Ran usually wore black. It matched his hair and gave him a distinct look of maturity and enigma. He had to admit that it was nice that way. But that was to change for this date. Somehow, Ran felt the need to impress someone with such a gaijin name. Schuldig – it was a German name. And German people had high class, so he believed. Hey, after all, that's where Benz came from, right?

I like Benz. Benz means money. When you have money, you can afford a Benz. In short, Benz's are expensive cars. Having a Benz means you're rich. And therefore, Germans are rich and classy people.

Hence our Japanese philosophy on gaijin.

The redhead hurriedly put on the best he had. A white form-fitting shirt with short sleeves, as well as blue tight fitting denims to go with it. (Refer to top picture in WK manga) He looked at himself through the mirror and smiled slightly. Heh. He was a looker, all right! It was strange how one day with Yohji could elevate one's self esteem that much. Thinking of the brunet, he smiled again, this time wider.

Ding-dong!

Ran jumped and spun around, rushing through the door and nearly tripping down the stairs. He ran to the front door, but paused a moment to straighten his clothes out before proceeding to open it. Grinning, a tall blond man stepped in, his golden eyes taking in the surroundings and dancing across the hall. They turned and regarded Ran, a slow smirk spreading over the man's handsome features. Ran gaped at him.

What a hunk!

"Why, thank you," Schuldig purred. Ran blushed at the sound. How… sexy. The German laughed. "Please, you're flattering me."

Ran blinked. "Huh… I didn't say anything…"

"Oh, you don't have to, mein sweet red wine," Schuldig replied with a slight smirk. "I'm a telepath. I read minds. Aya thought about you, so I couldn't resist. She sure has a good imagination, I must admit."

Ran turned redder in his face. His sister sent images like that to Schuldig? That monkey! An arm went round his waist.

"You're extremely well-dressed today," Schuldig murmured appreciatively. "Good. Shall we go, mein kätzchen?"

"Where to?"

"Clubbing… there's a good pub just around the corner. Quieter than the rest and the atmosphere's really exquisite." Schuldig could see that Ran was uncomfortable with clubs, therefore hurriedly reassuring him. "No bondage, no masochism. Just plain drinking and a fun time, I promise."

"…Okay…" He highly doubted it. Clubs were… ruthless.

"I never lie, kätzchen."

He sounded honest. Ran looked up at him with his violet gaze, and smiled slightly. The man smiled back, and they exited through the door towards the man's car.

_______________________

The pub was indeed quieter than the rest. It was more of a quaint little area where they served drinks, and the proprietress was a woman in her mid-thirties. She had a sweet smile and her kindliness made Ran feel more at home. Schuldig had spoken with her a little and exchanged light banter, and there were a few men drinking and chatting in a corner. Two young men stood by the door, one more sitting down and grinning at them as they bickered over what the weather would be like the next day.

Soon, the German turned to him. "Well, so what do you think, mein lieber?"

"About?"

"This bar?"

"Hmm," the redhead rested his chin on his hands. "It's nice. The drinks here are good."

"It's a local favorite," Schuldig nodded. "The bouncers here keep trouble out. They're generally nice and just helping her out. One of them is her son."

"I see," Ran nodded. "Do they face, you know, trouble sometimes?"

Schuldig looked over to one youth with striking auburn hair covering one eye as he mocked punched his blond friend. "Nothin' they can't handle," the German smirked, imitating the youth's New York-street-boy slang. Just then, a few men walked in, and took their seats at the other end of the counter. Ran spied them from the corner of his eye. They didn't look very peaceable. He also noted that the boys had stopped bickering and tensed up a little.

"What would you like?"

"Scotch on the rocks. Make it quick."

The woman complied as her customers laughed and talked loudly. They'd started smoking and Ran backed off a little. The youths sitting by the entrance narrowed their eyes. They eyed each other and nodded at the blond in their group. He got up and skipped towards them. "Sorry, but you can't smoke in here, sir!"

His tone was cheerful but firm. Frosty blue eyes met with the hazy dark ones of the balding man in a suit. "And why not, little boy?"

"'Cuz it says so outside!" the blond pointed to a large sign by the door. "See?"

"What kind of bar doesn't allow smoking?" another man piped up.

"A good one," the blond replied smoothly. "This is a place for people to have drinks, take a load of and rest. Not defile themselves with smoke. Some patrons don't like it. We wanna cater to them!"

"What about us?"

"Well, if you like smoke, rough women an' all that, you can go to that other bar there," the brunet by the door voiced up suddenly. "They have 'em all. Dun like it, dun do it. 'Kay?"

"We'll do what we please," the taller, well-built man spoke up. The brunet's eyes narrowed.

"Your Papa-san you will! This is our bar and we keep rubbish out!"

"What…"

"Stop, please!" the woman at the counter slammed her hands on the wooden surface. "Enough of this! Go and guard the door, Moru. The same with you, Blondie."

"Don't call me Blondie!" the blond pouted, but he complied. The men settled down again, as if nothing happened then. Schuldig shook his head, looking at Ran. He could tell what the man was thinking.

"Happens sometimes," he whispered to the redhead. "Would you like to leave now?"

Ran nodded slightly, and the two got up. But just then, he felt his arm being pulled back and dragged towards the well-built man in a suit. "…Yes? What is it?"

The three youths stood up again, glaring at their direction. As for the proprietress, she simply looked helpless. The men grinned. "Oh, c'mon, sit down. Are we scaring you?"

"No," Ran inched back, pulling his arm back, but failing. The man's grip was like an iron clasp. Even with all the training he had in Kendo, this man's strength somehow surpassed that of his. Perhaps it was the absence of his beloved katana. The redhead mentally cursed himself for not taking it along with him, but which man would bring a weapon like that on a date? He pulled Ran to sit beside him. The other men were grinning lewdly. They turned to the proprietress.

"How about asking those pesky little kids of yours to do something useful for a change, huh?"

She glared at them. "Out… Get out of my bar, now!"

"We won't, not until we're done," the balding man made a grad at Schuldig, whose golden eyes were now glinting with fury. He avoided it with the grace of a panther. The German smirked.

"Catch me if you can, mein loser," Schuldig purred. He then turned to the man sitting beside his date. "And you, let go of him. Now."

"And if I don't?"

"You'll pay."

"Very well, that's a challenge," the man stood up, shoving the redhead into the mass of men. They formed a circle around the two, allowing them dueling space. The bouncers scurried to the front, offering support to their German customer. Were the other men to interfere, they'd start a brawl fest.

The telepath smirked, amused. He could read his mind like words off a book, and in German besides. Hey, English wasn't his first language to start with. "If I win, I get my date back."

"And if you lose?"

"I won't lose," Schuldig grinned. The man laughed.

"If you lose, I'll get the redhead. And I'll screw him right under your nose, Hitler."

"Sorry, we aren't even related," Schuldig snorted. The other man lifted his hands and balled his hands into fists. Giving a yell, he lunged forward, but Schuldig sidestepped, causing him to smash his fist into the glass counter, breaking it. He cursed, blood starting to dribble down his arms and dripping onto the floor.

But Schuldig wanted things to end fast, even as he wanted to torture the man mentally. Mercilessly, the blond stepped up to him and delivered a roundhouse, cruelly kicking him at the same time. A string of curses fell from the man's bloodied lips as he fell to the floor. Schuldig smirked.

I guess a little mind torturing won't hurt.

He stepped up to him and planted his foot on his head, pressing it down against the hard floor.

If you lose, Schuldig gave the man an internal monologue; they'll never respect you again. You're such a dog, mein lieber, not even your wife loves you anymore. Your daughter shuns you, how you'd come home dead drunk every night, and how your son hates your filthy guts out. You're nothing, you really are. For pleasure, you gave up your family.

I'll tell you her dirty little secret.

She's seeing somebody else.

And that somebody… Schuldig took his time to pause; is your brother, whom you've disowned. Pathetic, really. Why don't you kill yourself after this?

The man's eyes widened, and Schuldig stepped back, laughing… well, evilly. He walked towards the crowd and winked at the bouncers, lifting a hand to pull Ran out of the mass and towards the doorway. The German telepath placed his money easily on the counter and strode off smirking into the night, along with the redhead by his side. The blond youth stared after them with a grin.

"Cool!"

______________________

"You didn't tell me you were a boxing champion."

Schuldig turned to gaze at Ran. "I'm not. I'm just hot, sultry, irresistible and strong. It comes in a package. See the tag? 'Made in Frankfurt, 100% man'."

The redhead stifled a laugh. "Really, you're just obnoxious. But…"

"But what?" the German smirked in question.

"But that's what makes you irresistible, right?" Ran said, a little shyly. In answer the smirk grew inches wider.

"I knew you had good taste in men," the blond pushed his locks aside in a swift motion, fluidly, sexily. "I mean; you really do. After all, you went out with me, didn't you?"

"Self-righteous fool," Ran smiled slightly. They made their way through the night, the redhead following the German telepath aimlessly, to some unknown destination. And Schuldig wasn't about to let the surprise out. "So, where are we headed now? It's getting dark…"

"All the better to have a romantic conversation, mein lieber," the blond purred contentedly. "Anyway, I have something to show you." He stopped by some bushes, and turned to face Ran. "Now, close your eyes."

"What…" the redhead blushed slightly.

"Jut do it," he said reassuringly. "I won't hurt you. I promise."

"… Okay…" Ran closed his eyes. The German's arms wrapped themselves round his shoulders and he led him step by step, into the bushes. Ran could vaguely smell water, and hear it lapping against the line of earth, just ahead. Suddenly, a small fly-like thing buzzed by and hit the redhead squarely on his cheek. He gasped and jumped, opening his eyes to counterattack whatever that had assaulted him in the first place.

Literally beautiful.

They were by a tiny lake, filled with lightning bugs. The lighted up the trees, the bushes, and the light speckled off the water like stars. They were friendly too, buzzing close to the two men, seeking warmth, in the cool summer night, as fall was threading nearer. Ran extended his hands to cup them, causing them to glow in his clasp.

"Lovely, aren't they?" the German smirked. "So frail, yet so full of life."

"They are…" the redhead murmured dreamily. He then turned to look at Schuldig. "Do you come here often?"

"Yes," he answered easily. Schuldig held true to his words. He never lied. "Sometimes I need peace from the thoughts of others that frequently invade mine… peace. Or perhaps just quiet."

"I see."

"I know you do."

There were no further words exchanged, just the two of them by a lakeside, surrounded by fireflies. It painted a really beautiful image for Ran, of quiet and truth, and one that never lied. Perhaps, just perhaps…

There was quiet in the city, after all.

~*~*~ End Part Five ~*~*~

Notes: Done! This is the last date! XD I'm sorry it wasn't as good as the others, because I made them get involved in a bar fight… Anyway, now we can vote, please go to the voting poll rules and read the instructions there! (That's if you're reading in FF.net. If you're reading from my site, well, the poll page is the next chapter after this, located in the library.)

Heh, now I'll reply to reviews! XD

Keitalina Angeleous Shinra (Hi, and thanks for reviewing! No, no Farf, sorry… I really can't write it. Initially I tried, but I couldn't. Besides, we're married. I'm a jealous guy. :D Seph just wanted to take over the world. Not that that's bad, heh heh! XD It's an ebbil thing, I just like that idea too!)

kami-chan (Heeeey! Imouto-chan! XD Thanks for reviewing, and you're welcome! I found it a pleasure to do so anyway! Aa, so, he was compatible? Really? Thanks! That kiss-scene… um, was it limey? Because I wanted to do limey. ;_; But yeah, Bushybrows will pay for thwarting my attempts for world domination! Die, Reiji!)

Verdorbene Unschuld (Thanks for reviewing!!! Maa, I'd love to choose them all, but that will be… ebbil. I love Yohji, personally, I always saw him as a sweet guy. :D It's no fun when you're a victim. I can tell. XD But yeah, why don't you vote for Yohji? I believe this is a tough tie now…)

Kasra (Thank you for your feedback! I know why you missed it – because it was a crappy fic! XD Aya-chan is the bestest sister in the world for him. She may be naughty, but she's iiko. Thank you, we all feel bad for poor Asuka, ne? Except when she's an evil nurse! ;_; Balinese goes with Bombay… Yeah, you may have theories… that's Riku! I just had to screw Ran's head a little, sorry!)

Dalamar the Dark (Thanks for reviewing, and again and twice too! I'm so touched! Moooaaaah! ;o; Thanks for reading too, all of you guys are really nice. It makes me feel that this is at least worth something! XD Thank you, I'm looking out for me too!)

Marupial (Thanks for your feedback! The poll's up, so you can now vote for Ken! I like him plenty too!!!)

CherubKatan (Thanks for reviewing! Aww, Yohji is a nice guy! He may be very… ecchi but he's got a good heart deep inside! Okay, here's Schu for you! He's a little evil here, I just like him to torture others… Heh heh, especially people who play golf and look like koalas. Golf clubs are evil! ;_;)

Misura (Thanks for reviewing! Maa, Yohji sure is a flirt. So sorry, but I like him ecchi too! How did I make him overdo it? XD *Innocent Omi look* I didn't see that! Self-esteem is important. Poor Asuka. I killed her even when it's AU. XD Well, business parties are boring… Dad's so Brady, it's like going out with Brad, but even then it's boring. Probably because I'm his son… ^^; Thanks, were those lines very cheerful? 0_o)

Lilla (Hey, thanks for reviewing! Um, well, Ran and Yohji here seem really to pair up with. I like this pairing too! But everyone knows I love Farf with an undying love… just that I'd pair him up with me! XD Yeah, it's Ran we're talking about. And he just might not be happy. Still, I tried. What do you think? This idea wasn't as romantic as the rest… Nope, no Nagi or Omi. So sorry! I'm trying out Ran-uke, and it's not difficult! :D)

Anata (Hi, thanks for the feedback! Maa, poor Ran, poor Ken. But hey, being embarrassing is a good thing too! it compliments Ran's perfection. XD Crawford did evil things to smashed Ran. XD Aa, yeah, so Ken's date is the first and the perfectest? XD Brad was a little like dad. I guess he left me alone, and I decided to let Ran experience the boredom I did. No bishounen for Windy at that party. And it was a good one too… ;_; It's not bothering me, your comments! I really thank you for them! And by the way, that's not Nagi, Omi or Farfie! Guess again!)

LittleIsa (Hi, mama-chan! Thanks for reviewing! XD Yes, I was thinking about that letter. 9_9 Sorry I had to use it, but I suddenly felt something when I returned to Atlantica. Then I stopped playing and I had to write it! Thanks to Sora too! XD I made poor Yohji a romantic fool. ^^; His date was okay, it really was one of the best. So far. Schu's one wasn't as romantic, I'm sorry, Schu fans! I'll try to make it up to you! Anyway, I got the mail, and I replied! Thanks for writing us! Wuv Windy)

Jenny or Vault 713 (Thanks for reviewing! Maa, you're still routing for Ken? That's great! Competition is fun! I know why I'd route for Ken… it's the pie. The images of pie that inspire ecchiness. Is that it? I updated! *Patpats self*)