Disclaimers: see part 1
Author's Note: Just so you know, it's just going to get weirder, sillier and more complicated. And…you might not want to read this if the thought of Switch or Arwen as possibly lesbians bothers, perplexes or scars you for life.
***
Switch opened her eyes to find herself in a very, very strange position. Mostly because she seemed to be kissing a woman. It took the woman a few seconds to remove her tongue from Switch's mouth. She looked a little perplexed.
Switch couldn't blame her. She was a little perplexed herself. She looked around...definitely too pretty to be the Matrix. She looked at the woman and noted her pointed ears. She tried not to look too pleased with the situation. If she was where she thought she was, this was going to be quite an enjoyable hunt for the One.
The Elf cocked her head questioningly. "...Who are you?
Elven. Switch remembered that day when she had reluctantly asked Tank to create a program to allow her to learn it. Switch never said much about it, but she had been quite a Tolkien fan growing up and had never quite overcome her love for those books. And here it was, all real and she was going be living for X amount of days.
She grinned. "My name is Switch. Take me to your leader," she replied in flawless Elven.
***
"So basically, I ate this red pill and this green jellybean and here I am."
Neo looked up at his audience. Two of the muppets were asleep; Sam seemed to be eyeing him suspiciously. The old man and 'Elrond' looked like they were still trying to sort out what half of what he said meant.
The old man was the first to speak. "...Ah, very…very good…...Neo was it?"
"Yes sir."
"Well, I am Gandalf the Gray. I will do my best to try and figure out what magic has brought you here."
"Gandalf the Gray...is that French?"
"....I don't believe it is..."
Sam let out a groan of the utmost frustration. "But none of that helps us locate Mr. Frodo, Mr. Gandal--"
Neo, 'Elrond' and Gandalf all blinked as the aggitated hobbit disappeared and--
"Trinity!" Neo leapt out of his seat and gave her a hug. "Boy am I glad to see you. I think something was wrong with that jellybean you gave me."
Trinity blinked as Neo glomped her. Where the heck were they anyway? This couldn't be right...and where was Switch and Cypher?
"Ow, let go of me, you bastards!"
Oh. There Cypher was. Trinity placed a hand on her hips and smirked in amusement as Cypher was dragged in by an angry bearded man and a tall blonde boy with pointed ears. God, they looked just like characters out of one of Switch's books.
"These are friends of yours?"
"Agent Smith!" Cypher yelled.
Trinity turned around guns blazing. "Where?"
"No! Stop!" Neo cried running in front of them and pretty much bowling 'Elrond' over. "He just looks like Agent Smith, but the ears are real! And he's wearing a dress."
"Thank you, Mr. Anderson," 'Elrond' said with a sigh. He tried to collect what little dignity he had been left with and rose to his feet. He was beginning to pity this A'gent S'mith.
***
"So basically we ate a green jellybean and a red pill, and ended up here," Trinity said crossing her arms.
Elrond and Gandalf exchanged exasperated looks. The hobbits had woken up for the last half of the story and looked horribly confused. Neo was snoring away in between them. The Dwarf was picking his nose and the Elf was waving his hand in the air.
"Yes, Legolas?" They had all exchanged names prior to the tale.
"Sorry to interrupt, but what is a j'ellybean and what is a pill?"
"....Oh...." Trinity felt like a complete idiot. No wonder half of them were asleep. She glared over at Neo and snorted. "Sorry, maybe I should try to--"
"No, no," Elrond said quickly. He didn't seem eager to hear the story again and she couldn't blame him. "I would suggest instead that we--"
The door opened quietly and in walked a truly beautiful Elf woman followed by Switch.
Trinity ran over to her and gave her a hug. "Thank God, you're here."
The Elf woman went over to Elrond. "Aragorn is gone. This woman appeared in his place."
Elrond sighed. "So Mr. Baggins, Mr. Gamgee, Boromir and Aragorn are all missing? Vanished without a trace?"
Switch gave Trinity and Elrond both a reassuring smile. "Here, I'll explain."
Everyone sighed in unison, clearly accepting defeat. Everyone except Neo who continued to snore loudly until Switch began to explain the story.
***
At the end of her tale told half in English and half in some other made-up language only Switch, the Elves, and Gandalf seemed to know, everyone let out a loud "Ah, now that does make a bit more sense."
"And that's how we got here," Switch said with a smile.
"It's a good thing this lass turned up," The Dwarf muttered to no one in particular.
"Yes, a very enjoyable tale," Pippin said happily munching on the very last of Elrond's crumpets that they had stolen earlier.
Elrond glared at him and sighed. "Well, now at last we understand one another. A miracle."
Switch could understand why everyone kept confusing him with Agent Smith.
***
tbc
