Disclaimers: part 1
Author's Note: Poor, poor hobbits. It's a good thing they are too adoraboo and nice to kill me for all the stupid Neo I have unleashed upon them.
***
Luckily for Elrond, Trinity, Cypher, Switch, Neo and Middle Earth, others agreed to go on the quest. Gimli volunteered, Legolas agreed once Gimli volunteered. Gandalf insisted upon going.
Merry and Pippin were determined to go in case Frodo or Sam returned along the way.
Elrond nodded. "Nine of you shall go as the Fellowship of the Ring representing all of this Middle Earth and--"
"When will we go?"
"You shall go away--er, to Mordor as soon as possible, Mr. Anderson."
"Sweet."
Elrond raised an eyebrow. "…Indeed."
"Wait…I thought we were going to Mount Doom."
"Mount Doom is in Mordor, you knucklehead," Cypher muttered irritably.
Everyone stared at him.
"What? I pay attention too, you know?"
***
Elrond shook his head as Neo, Cypher and Gimli went off to get 'wasted.' He was beginning to loose all hope. He had very little faith in this new ring bearer.
"I know he's pretty clueless, he means well. We'll get the ring to Mount…Doom, was it?"
"Yeah, it's the cracks of Mount Doom, Trinity. Neo won't do anything to harm the ring. I think he's too oblivious to give into its power. So, it's safe so long as he's safe, Mr. Elrond."
He looked up, ah…Trinity and Switch. They had ridiculous names but at least they looked competent.
"Perhaps you are right."
"Trust me, I'm not anymore crazy about him than you are," Switch added, "but he's supposed to be the One to save my world too. He hasn't gotten any training yet though."
"Ah…that explains some of it."
"We'll get it there. I'll get it there."
Elrond smiled. He believed the two of them would despite the somewhat lacking intelligence of their cohorts. "I'm sure you will."
They nodded and began to leave.
"And Switch."
Switch turned around.
"Thank you for talking some sense into my daughter."
Switch blinked, blushed slightly and then saluted. "Not at all, sir."
"What did he say?" Trinity asked as they left the room.
"I'll tell you when you're older, Trinity."
"Ha ha, very funny."
***
"Have you heard the cool little jingle they have for the Ring, Trinity?"
Trinity sighed and looked over at Neo. Why did they both have to be the only ones ready to go? She could already feel her IQ level reaching a new low. Oh well. He meant well, at least. After all, he had to have some sort of bravery, compassion, and smarts to volunteer for a mission of this magnitude.
"One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them in the Land of Mordor where Shadows lie. Wouldn't that be an awesome rock song?"
Or maybe not.
"Neo, that's not really a--"
"Might I have a word with you, Neo, my boy?"
Ah, it was that older hobbit Pippin and Merry had been talking to earlier. She didn't offer any objections to Neo leaving. Maybe the old guy would talk some sense into him.
***
Neo eagerly followed the old Muppet away from Trinity. She obviously had been blown away by his incredible idea. Always leave them wanting more and all that.
"Now, Neo, I have heard much about you from Pippin and Merry. I was hoping to give this to my nephew, Frodo, but since he's disappeared and probably won't be back from some time, I would like you to have this. It is called Sting and it will glow bright blue when Orcs are nearby."
The old midget handed Neo a small dagger. He pulled it out of its sheath and stared at the inscriptions. "Whoa. This is so cool! Thanks, Elder Muppet!"
"Elder…Muppet?"
"How can I ever repay your most excellent generosity?" Neo said trying to speak like Elrond. They all seemed to talk like they were from really old movies and plays here in Middle Earth.
"…I think you already have, my boy. And I think I will save this chain mail for my nephew blah blah blah marvelous blah blah blah important blah blah all right?"
Neo looked up from the dagger. "Sure, Elder Muppet."
"Right. I leave you then to rejoin your comrades and begin your perilous, arduous, magnificent quest."
"Sure thing, Muppet King."
The old midget just stared at him obviously in awe of his amazing skill and strength.
"Yes, well…good luck then….good luck to us all."
***
tbc
