***

Arguments did indeed ensue once the Fellowship got off of Caradhras. Trinity sighed as she watched the hobbits and Neo thaw by the fire. They were rather quiet and sullen. Maybe Neo was starting to realize he wasn't at DisneyLand. This quest was going to be hard work.

Gandalf was smoking thoughtfully on his pipe while Switch scowled at nothing in particular. Cypher was doing the same. It had taken a black eye and several choice words on Switch's part but he had finally shut up about the Mines of Moria route.

Gimili was shaking his head at the very notion. From what Trinity had heard she was inclined to agree with him. Legolas was still enjoying the snow and keeping a look-out.

Trinity had had just about enough of the sulking, which is why she was currently building a snow man. Hell, this was better than dealing with the Matrix. No agents, no gun fights, just snow and grumpy Middle Earthians.

Legolas came over after awhile and stared at her creation. She had to admit it wasn't the best snowman, but he seemed more amused than critical. "Why did you make this man out of snow?"

"It's...a mortal custom back home."

Legolas looked up suspiciously. "Does this involve C'hristmas?"

"Well, sort of..."

"It's a nice tradition despite that it centers around the barbaric notion of my people being slaves to some fat man."

Trinity chuckled. "That's just a myth."

"....oh..."

Trinity smirked. The Elf was so cute. "Have you ever made a snow angel?"

***

Neo was glad that they were done with the evil mountain whose name started with C. He could think of better things that started with C. He wished he had some of those better things that started with C and a glass of warm milk.

He was glad the muppets seemed to be doing all right.

He didn't quite understand why everyone was looking so unhappy besides Trinity who was clearly losing her grip. Making snow angels with the Elf was definitely a waste of time. Was she hitting on the Elf?

"Why don't we let the ring bearer decide?"

Neo fumed silently staring off at the Elf and his girlfriend...well, his almost-girlfriend.

Neo felt something very cold and wet hit his cheek. A snowball.

"Yo, ringbearer."

Neo turned around quickly and chucked a snowball at Cypher who quickly ducked it. Drat. he started making another.

"Neo!"

He stopped immediately. Gandalf sounded mad.

"Thank you. Look, Neo, we need to decide what to do. Either we attempt Caradhras again or we go through the Mines of Moria."

Middle Earth, the Matrix, whatever certainly had nifty names for everything. The C one was the evil mountain thing, right? The M and M one sounded more promising. Gosh, he really missed M and Ms.

"The Mines of Moria."

Only the hobbits and Cypher seemed happy with the decision, the rest glared at him.

"What?"

***

"I still don't think this is really necessary, Smith. We shouldn't bring guns to the peaceful Shire. We might hurt one of the hobbits."

Smith rubed his temples. Maybe the other two agents really would never come back from their trip. Oh, that was indeed a happy thought.

"Brown, we've been over this. To hell with the stupid hobbits! This mission is much more important than...." Smith frowned. "Jones...what is that under your jacket?"

"What jacket?"

"The one you're wearing?"

"Oh...this jacket? What makes you think there's something under it? He he he."

"...Jones!"

The other two agents jumped and Jones reached into his jacket and pulled out a battered copy of The Lord of the Rings.  

"And what pray tell is that doing under your jacket?"

"....I was hoping to get autographs from Mr. Gandalf and the hobbits."

"You were what?!"

"I was hop--"

Give me that book immediately!"

"No!"

"Now, Jones! I'm serious! Give me the book!"

"I don't want to."

"I didn't ask if you wanted to."

"But..."

Smith snatched the book away from him.

"Smith!"

Smith rolled his eyes. "You're both leaving now. And if you don't hurry up and find Mr. Anderson, I'm going to personally rip this book to shreds!"

"You'd rip up Jones' book? You heartless bastard!"

"What was that, Brown? Smith said grinning viciously while opening up the book and eyeing the appendixes.

"You wouldn't!"

"Want to bet?"

 "No stop! We'll go! Just don't hurt the book! The book makes no sense without the timelines!"

Smith grinned as the agents quickly ate some of the green jellybeans and got ready to go to Middle Earth. This would be easier than he thought.

***

Jones looked particularly miserable as they were strapped down and waited for the jellybean to take effect. He'd never forgive Smith if any harm came to his beloved book. Then blink, they were already there.

They weren't at the Shire at all but….Jones and Smith could only stare as they watched frightened Elves race by them.

"Rivendell!" They both exclaimed at once, jumping up and down like fangirls for a split second. Then they realized what they were doing, ahem-ed and began brushing off their suits.

There was a brief silence and then they went back to celebrating.

"And Smith isn't here to ruin it!"

"I vote we just stay here!"

Jones looked around. "But if we're in Rivendell, who do you think go sent back to deal with Smith?"

"Two very poor unfortunate souls."

"Well, so long as it isn't you and me, I guess it doesn't matter--"

"Ahhhhh! Nooooooooo!"

Jones looked in the direction that a panic-stricken Brown was pointing at.

There was Smith. Wearing a robe of some sort and he had pointy ears. Did he really think such a pathetic disguise would fool two people who had been putting up with him since Day One of their virtual existence?

"Smith! What are you doing here?"

"And why are you in such a ridiculous outfit?"

"…." Elrond sighed. It was going to be another one of those days.

***

tbc