WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE

disclaimer: AS ALWAYS NONE OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE HARRY POTTER SERIES BELONG TO ME, THEY BELONG TO JK ROWLING.

A/N: This chapter is my entry for 'A Srange Conversation Challenge' for WIKTT and a continuation of my entries from the Bachelor Auction Challenge (Ch. 1) and the Beach Challenge (ch. 2). I couldn't resist doing this challenge as such, the temptation just took over and well here it is.

Seeing the outline of a couple lying on the beach, Severus swore under his breath, turning back from where he came. He couldn't really stay on the beach and be privy to an act that would undoubtedly remind him of what he left, so Severus reluctantly returned to the cabana in hopes that Hermione might be asleep. Little did he know what awaited him.

Slowly opening the door, Snape quietly made his way inside the room. Severus looked towards the bed and saw the form of Hermione seemingly asleep. To be sure, he padded over to the side of the bed and leaned over to get a closer look. Then, before he knew what was happening, the silk cord latched itself around his wrist. He was trapped.again. "Damn."

"You've returned, Professor Snape," sneered Hermione from beneath the covers.

"Indeed," scowled Snape, berating himself for his terminal luck. "Miss Granger.the cord.AGAIN," hissed Snape as he began to pull on the cord, only to feel it hold tight.

"Oh yes Professor," seethed Hermione, "I tire of your indecisiveness. It was a necessary measure."

"Miss Granger, I demand you let me go!" growled Snape.

"No! You signed a contract Snape and now you will damn well keep it, even if I have to make you," Hermione stated firmly as she slipped the other end of the cord around her own wrist.

Snape was determined to remove the cord. He reached for her hand, but did not anticipate that she would toss the cord around him in avoidance. It was then when all hell broke loose. With arms flailing and legs kicking, Hermione and Severus tumbled and twisted as he attempted to subdue her and she tried to prevent him. All the while, aiming to get at the cord that had now ensnared them into a tightly woven web. Magically it was, of course, similar to a bungee cord.

The moon, now high in the sky, shone through the window onto the couple oblivious to its effects as they glared at each other, nostrils flaring.

"Would you mind getting your knee out of my groin," Snape bit out through clenched teeth.

"I would if you would move your hands out of my hair," hissed Hermione, who was trying to pull her head forward.

"Ouch!" winced Severus, trying to ignore the blast of pain shooting up through the center of his body.

"Sorry," snickered Hermione, who was trying to remove her knee.

Taking a deep, slow breath Snape whispered, "Think nothing of it. I wasn't going to use it for anything anyway."

Sounding a bit hurt, Hermione let out a silent "Sorry."

"Quite all right," grimaced Snape, once again trying to assess their predicament.

Twisting once again, they tried unsuccessfully to unravel themselves from the rope. Severus was beginning to wonder if Hermione planned this when this latest attempt to escape failed. What would Dumbledore think if he walked in here. He could see it now. Dumbledore would walk in and say something malignant like, "Good show old man" or "Who-ho-ho!! This is no Tupperware party!" Damn Miss Granger, why did she have to be so persistent. Looking around at them, Severus began to feel very self- conscious when he realized where his hand had landed after that last tussle. Apparently Miss Granger noticed as well.

"Umm...were you going to move that or just leave it there?" smirked Hermione, who had noted the location of Severus's hand with a slight nod of her head. It seems Severus's hand had found its way up Hermione's sleeve where it was lodged firmly against her breast.

Not wanting to look Miss Granger in the eye, Snape just stared at where his hand was, "Well...I was going to but I think it's stuck."

"What do you mean stuck?" Hermione said coyly staring up into Professor Snape's face. "It can't be stuck," murmured Hermione as she noted the slight movement of his hand. "Ohh...Ouch... Don't move...Don't move! For Merlin's sake don't move!" Hermione nearly screamed, as she felt the sweet tingle turn to paralyzing pain. Trying to remove his hand, Severus had 'inadvertently' twisted her tender nipple.

"I wasn't going to move," stated Snape, silently smiling to himself. 'Aw Miss Granger, didn't you like that' thought Severus as he stopped tweaking Hermione's little button. "I was just going to... Ohh, I guess I shouldn't have moved. Sorry," trying to sound contrite as he stared back at Hermione.

"If you could stop trying to help for just a moment I might be able to extract us from this position with the least amount of injury done to both our dignity and our persons," hissed Hermione, who was still stinging from a tweaked nipple. Arching her back and pushing down against the bed, Hermione tried to reach her wrist that was pinned underneath. She hoped to untie the cord from herself, activating its self recoiling charm.

Severus was completely unaware of this, thus when Hermione began moving, Snape reared backwards thrusting his knees between her legs against the bed, propelling them off the bed and onto the floor with a dull thud. His actions won him a glare that rivaled his own to which he sneered in return, "Well! Excuse me! I'm terrible sorry I was just trying to help!"

Exasperation mounting Hermione nearly lost it growling, "Stop helping and stay still!"

"Fine...I will!" bit out Professor Snape as he glared at Hermione with undisguised ire, blaming her for everything that had happened to him in the last 24 hours.

Looking past Snape's head, Hermione began to wonder why she wanted him so much. He had done everything to confuse her. 'One minute he wants me and the next he doesn't and now because I couldn't let well enough alone I had to go and get us into this ridiculous position. The entire situation would have been much more enjoyable if he wasn't such a prat,' thought Hermione. She continued to strain her neck to look around Snape, finally seeing that if he just shifted a bit she could reach the cord, if only.."If you could shift to the right just a..."

Snape in the mean time was trying to ignore the sensations of Hermione's breathing along his neck as she was looking past him down his back. So when Hermione spoke he was momentarily lost, deciding to hazard a curt, "I thought you wanted me to stay still?"

Feigning politeness, Hermione grated out through clenched teeth, "Just do as I ask please."

"Please...? Oh..alright...to the right, right?" Snape said mocking Hermione as he stared at her and arching his brow.

"Yes," replied Hermione coldly, attempting to forget that now both of his hands were being held firmly over her breasts by the crushing embrace that they were forced into.

Staring down at Hermione, Snape noticed the way she was trying to deal with their situation and decided to have some fun with the little Gryffindor, "My right or yours?" he said sliding his hips from side to side to elaborate his question, all the while grinning at her.

"Yours." Whispered Hermione. 'What is he doing? Why can't he make up his mind? I'm not a bloody water spout, to be turned off and on at will,' thought Hermione as she tried to focus on what she needed to do.

"Then that would be your left my right, correct?" Snape intoned, his voice laced with silk as he again pressed into Hermione indicating the direction.

"Just move! Why I was forced into this with you of all people...?" Hermione hissed trying to forget the familiar heat rising from between her legs. 'Forget it Hermione, he'll just turn cold on again, don't give into it this time,' she thought as she realized just how close his 'wand' could be.

"There is no need to get snarky! Look.....I am moving! See? To the right.." Snape said as he repressed a chuckle at finally turning the tables on the indomitable Miss Granger. Throwing his weight in the direction she indicated, he was able to slide his hands down her waist as both their bodies shifted and their knees sprang forward flipping them over, leaving a disgruntled Hermione on top.

"Not that much!.... Damm!" squealed Hermione, blinking back tears. 'Damn I still can't reach the cord and now I know what it feels like when I kneed him. Oh man does that smart,' Hermione thought as she now saw that that last effort brought her no closer to her goal, but rather more entangled with her fickle Professor.

Seeing the effort that Hermione was exerting not to cry prompted an unknown response of remorse from him. Regretting the teasing he had given her, he strove to make amends. Quietly, he looked at her as he said, "Oops...sorry... I could try again."

Taking deep breaths to manage the sharp pain that was shooting through her, Hermione needed to think. "No..no don't bother! Umm...could you please move your knee out of my groin?" breathed Hermione who was having difficulty focusing with the discomfort she was feeling.

Snape looked down wondering what she was talking about when it struck him. Looking directly into Hermione eyes, while smiling to himself he sheepishly replied "Um...that's not my knee."

Hermione's eyes widened as the implications of Snape's statement dawned on her. Stuttering, she tried to regain her composure when they both heard the click of the door. Turning their heads simultaneously, they found themselves staring at an amused Headmaster.

Clearing his throat, Dumbledore looked at them over his half-moon spectacles and smiled benignly. "I wouldn't have thought...interesting" murmured the Headmaster as he surveyed his Potions Master tied up with Hermione Granger. "Seeing that the two of you are obviously tied up, I will await for you at the dock. Please see that you are there in time to return to Hogwarts." and with a twinkle in his eye he turned and left them in stunned silence.

'How unfortunate,' thought Dumbledore. 'I had hopes of using those last 10 galleons to buy a souvenir. It looks like Minivera wins again.'

A/N: I know another one. This is to say the quote "Who-ho-ho!! This is no Tupperware party!" is from Monty Python.

Thank you for your wonderful reviews, SourGir1986, Calbee, and Jaws, I do enjoy the reviews, the more reviews I get the more inspired I am to write. I apologize for the delay, life with kids takes a lot of my time, I would love to give more time to writing. This has been my first attempt at fanfiction, I did not know I would have so much fun with it.