One of the hardest things I've ever done that was. Leaving her there. But
sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do it. So I did. Left her
with the Shaman and walked slowly back to the bar and, hopefully, company.
Don't feel like being alone right now. Been alone too long. Even with Dru.
It had been raining here while I'd had been away. The grass was lush, the clay was sticky against my boots and it was bloody humid. But the sheer life force in the crater was still here. Appropriate really, gave me a re- birth in every way that matters, now hopefully it'll do it for her.
Got back to the bar, got a beer and slumped down at a table. Tried to focus on just about anything than what was going on in the Shaman's hut. Surgical removal of the beer label…nope…too easy. The whole chatting to the locals thing. World Cup, England, Cameroon, Nigeria, Becks foot…check could manage that. Nope heart just wouldn't be in it. Not sure I'm glad or not that Giles and Anyanka aren't back yet. Not sure I'm up to making conversation at all. But it's certainly taking 'em a while to come back. Unless the hut is somewhere back in Arusha. Settled for contemplating the music. Always been able to lose myself in the music. Been able to since the twenties and I've lost myself in some of the best over the years.
Half the bottle and some good music later a rather rumpled Giles and Anyanka re-entered the bar. Nice to see some people having fun. But we all cope with stress in different ways. Know some of mine haven't always been that smart. But getting better at it. Even slowing down the boozing it up. Would have done a few less dumb things if I'd done it before. Know that, not stupid, just never had anything not pushing me towards the next bottle of magic fluid before. At least I still don't have to worry about the ol' liver. So brightside, conversation Spike, can do it if I try real hard.
"Watcher, Anyanka, got us some nice comfy beds then?" He blushed. She just nodded. Now old me would have got a few more digs in. This one just gets the promised next round of beers in. I'll get there.
"Spike, if you want to get some rest, I'll show you where the hut is" from a Giles who was looking at me with some understanding and compassion.
Half smile, half grimace from me. "Thanks, but couldn't sleep. Gotta be here, gotta be here if she needs me, gotta do it, no question."
"Know the feeling. Never easy to wait while those you care about suffer." As Giles said that Anyanka gripped his hand, and smiled at him. He smiled at her and continued "but usually it's worth it."
"How long was I out? Think it'll be the same? In two stages like me?" A bloke would like some answers after all.
"Yours was different from mine. Hers will be different again. Each according to their ability and their needs, and all that."
Well pegged his politics right anyway. But curiosity cat an all that rot. Have to know more about his epiphany. Take my mind off things. "So tell us Watcher. Inquiring demons wanna know?"
"Oh yes Rupie, Do, please?" Anyanka was positively bouncing in her seat in anticipation, like a big kid wanting a story.
I was surprised, he acquiesced. Guess he wants to take his mind off what's happening to Buffy too. "Short version, edited to protect the innocent. I told you Spike he helped me after Eyghon. It's true he did. Helped bring me back from the edge. Never wanted to do heavy magic again. Wouldn't have been able to anyway, I'd opened up too many holes in myself, and if I'd made a habit of it...well wouldn't have been pretty. Occasional light stuff no worries. Samuel helped me see a purpose outside of demon summoning, hedonism, juvenile delinquency, and the hard stuff.
More importantly though, he helped me after what Ethan and I did to Randall. You may have heard some of this from Buffy, I don't know. But Randall was taken whole by Eyghon, and we had no convenient vampire to force him into, even if we'd have been sober enough to think of that option. We killed him. He was one of our best friends, but we be-headed him. At that point it was the only choice we had. You cannot know how glad I am Buffy didn't have to do that to Willow. It nearly destroyed me. I couldn't let it happen to her too. It did destroy Ethan and me. He never really faced up to what we did. He embraced Chaos to deny it, and I tried to find redemption in the family calling. He hated that I did that. He enjoys tormenting me, I think, so he can still deny what we did, make it go away in the rush of chaos."
"Hence the Fyrrl demon?" from me remembering the fun of trashing Giles car, and the happy memory of a demon Giles chasing that scientist bitch.
"Quite. Anyway that was before he became the Guardian. When I was researching the source of the slayers, watchers and even the key it struck me I should come here. We had kept in touch over the years. Christmas cards an all. So I came and he introduced me to the Mother. She showed me the past. She also sealed the damage I had done to myself by the black magic Ethan and I did together during our irresponsible period. Now I can cast again without opening myself to darkness. Which was good. As you saw. The rest…the rest is private." At which he stopped and Anyanka patted his hand. I got him another beer, poor bloke looked like he needed it.
Well what do you say? Not much you can do really. Just be there for each other I suppose. Failing that, buy the bloke a beer and give him a friendly light puch to the arm. Then be British and move the topic to football.
So we moved on to lighter topics and put some more beers away for a few hours. Then a boy arrived and spoke something in Swahili to Giles.
"Buffy and Samuel are at the guest hut. We should join them. Ready?" he translated. So we left the noisy bar to the quiet hut on the edge of the village.
It had been raining here while I'd had been away. The grass was lush, the clay was sticky against my boots and it was bloody humid. But the sheer life force in the crater was still here. Appropriate really, gave me a re- birth in every way that matters, now hopefully it'll do it for her.
Got back to the bar, got a beer and slumped down at a table. Tried to focus on just about anything than what was going on in the Shaman's hut. Surgical removal of the beer label…nope…too easy. The whole chatting to the locals thing. World Cup, England, Cameroon, Nigeria, Becks foot…check could manage that. Nope heart just wouldn't be in it. Not sure I'm glad or not that Giles and Anyanka aren't back yet. Not sure I'm up to making conversation at all. But it's certainly taking 'em a while to come back. Unless the hut is somewhere back in Arusha. Settled for contemplating the music. Always been able to lose myself in the music. Been able to since the twenties and I've lost myself in some of the best over the years.
Half the bottle and some good music later a rather rumpled Giles and Anyanka re-entered the bar. Nice to see some people having fun. But we all cope with stress in different ways. Know some of mine haven't always been that smart. But getting better at it. Even slowing down the boozing it up. Would have done a few less dumb things if I'd done it before. Know that, not stupid, just never had anything not pushing me towards the next bottle of magic fluid before. At least I still don't have to worry about the ol' liver. So brightside, conversation Spike, can do it if I try real hard.
"Watcher, Anyanka, got us some nice comfy beds then?" He blushed. She just nodded. Now old me would have got a few more digs in. This one just gets the promised next round of beers in. I'll get there.
"Spike, if you want to get some rest, I'll show you where the hut is" from a Giles who was looking at me with some understanding and compassion.
Half smile, half grimace from me. "Thanks, but couldn't sleep. Gotta be here, gotta be here if she needs me, gotta do it, no question."
"Know the feeling. Never easy to wait while those you care about suffer." As Giles said that Anyanka gripped his hand, and smiled at him. He smiled at her and continued "but usually it's worth it."
"How long was I out? Think it'll be the same? In two stages like me?" A bloke would like some answers after all.
"Yours was different from mine. Hers will be different again. Each according to their ability and their needs, and all that."
Well pegged his politics right anyway. But curiosity cat an all that rot. Have to know more about his epiphany. Take my mind off things. "So tell us Watcher. Inquiring demons wanna know?"
"Oh yes Rupie, Do, please?" Anyanka was positively bouncing in her seat in anticipation, like a big kid wanting a story.
I was surprised, he acquiesced. Guess he wants to take his mind off what's happening to Buffy too. "Short version, edited to protect the innocent. I told you Spike he helped me after Eyghon. It's true he did. Helped bring me back from the edge. Never wanted to do heavy magic again. Wouldn't have been able to anyway, I'd opened up too many holes in myself, and if I'd made a habit of it...well wouldn't have been pretty. Occasional light stuff no worries. Samuel helped me see a purpose outside of demon summoning, hedonism, juvenile delinquency, and the hard stuff.
More importantly though, he helped me after what Ethan and I did to Randall. You may have heard some of this from Buffy, I don't know. But Randall was taken whole by Eyghon, and we had no convenient vampire to force him into, even if we'd have been sober enough to think of that option. We killed him. He was one of our best friends, but we be-headed him. At that point it was the only choice we had. You cannot know how glad I am Buffy didn't have to do that to Willow. It nearly destroyed me. I couldn't let it happen to her too. It did destroy Ethan and me. He never really faced up to what we did. He embraced Chaos to deny it, and I tried to find redemption in the family calling. He hated that I did that. He enjoys tormenting me, I think, so he can still deny what we did, make it go away in the rush of chaos."
"Hence the Fyrrl demon?" from me remembering the fun of trashing Giles car, and the happy memory of a demon Giles chasing that scientist bitch.
"Quite. Anyway that was before he became the Guardian. When I was researching the source of the slayers, watchers and even the key it struck me I should come here. We had kept in touch over the years. Christmas cards an all. So I came and he introduced me to the Mother. She showed me the past. She also sealed the damage I had done to myself by the black magic Ethan and I did together during our irresponsible period. Now I can cast again without opening myself to darkness. Which was good. As you saw. The rest…the rest is private." At which he stopped and Anyanka patted his hand. I got him another beer, poor bloke looked like he needed it.
Well what do you say? Not much you can do really. Just be there for each other I suppose. Failing that, buy the bloke a beer and give him a friendly light puch to the arm. Then be British and move the topic to football.
So we moved on to lighter topics and put some more beers away for a few hours. Then a boy arrived and spoke something in Swahili to Giles.
"Buffy and Samuel are at the guest hut. We should join them. Ready?" he translated. So we left the noisy bar to the quiet hut on the edge of the village.
