I recognised the scent straight away. It was the same as that which had surrounded me after my little trip into the past. Her eyes too. They had that looking inwards look I imagine mine had. Suppose I should have taken a picture to know for sure, but not being able to see yourself in a mirror you learn to guess. Not sure I'm ready to look myself in the mirror, might not be for a long time. But someday…maybe. Nope I will!

She'd got the whole spaced out thing going on too. Must be a similar plan of campaign. Weird to see her like that, not used to it at all. She looked straight at me and said. "He was right then…Dracula. We are kindred, dark, demons, same demonic animatingy thing. Not come back wrong, always been wrong. Not human, but we're all humans, all the same, but not. I just wanted to be normal, why can't I be normal?"

Ok don't know how to deal with this one. Thought everything would be better not backwards. Mind you she is still a bit stoned. So I looked at the Shaman for help.

He came through and spoke to her. "Buffy, that was the first stage. You needed to know where you come from, to find where you are going. You're human, so is Giles, so am I. Spike and Anya started out their long lives as human. They became other than just human. You are too. In the case of vampires and slayers you both have human aspects with added powers from the same source. It's what you do with those powers. That's what counts. Whether it's "demonic"" and he did little air quotes I kid you not. "Or not is makes those powers good or bad. Anyanka here is a "demon". She's helped you and the World, and she's helping you now. Does that make her by definition bad?

"Umm, no?" from my spaced out beloved.

"Good girl. Now I am going to test you at the end, as this epiphany is going to stick if I have to use super-glue to do it. But not right now. You need to clear you head before we do part two." I've said it before, but I do like this bloke.

"Why's it so hard? Why do I have so many epiphanies and they don't stick? I'm gonna be record holder girl soon. Dunno about anyone else but SO tired of it." At least she's the one articulating the question inquiring minds have been dying to know the answer to.

"You died twice, correct?"

"Yep, been there, got the scars, if not the T shirt."

"Think of it this way. This last death you came back missing the most important part of your soul. The first time you fractured it. You weren't away long enough to lose it, but you had an injury that was never treated. If you break a bone and it heals by itself you might get pains in later life, but it heals. If you do the right exercises and therapy, so you strengthen the supporting areas, you might avoid problems down the line. You didn't do that. So you had an injury that caused you and others problems much later. Hence non-sticky epiphanies."

"God, Buffy. I'm sorry. I should have known. Should have done something." From Giles with now even more to feed his guilt complex. At least he was getting some comforting pats from Anyanka.

"Not your fault Giles. Wasn't doing the talky girl thing. And when I did you took me to see Miss Death IS Your Gift. And may I say, seeing the backstory on her. Weird much!" Glad to see Giles looking better at that. Glad she said it for both their sakes.

The Shaman continued. "The Mother has now healed that damage. You all did a great job on the restoration. The scars on that restored soul have now been healed. We shouldn't need the glue. But I'll keep it handy just in case." She actually smiled at that. If my heart doesn't beat I wish someone could explain to me why mine felt like it jumped at that smile.

He turned to Giles. "I would like you to speak to my Sister and her husband when you get back regarding a book list for Buffy and maybe the rest of you. They have been doing some good work with both the depressed and addicts with cognitive behaviour therapy, I think that's the term anyway, not my area really. But it might help."

"Uh?" from me. Bugger, thought the whole bleeding California therapy culture thing was continents away. I am not giving up the fags though.

"Harley St practice Spike. Sent a picture of the new clinic in the Christmas card last year. Will do Samuel. Now?"

Anyanka started suddenly. Looked at Giles and "Rupie, I have to go. It's D'Hoffryn. I have to go to Arashmahar. Now! Bye everyone." She kissed him and teleported out of the hut. Rupert looked bereft. Hope she isn't about to get into trouble for the whole helping us thing. Owe her too much for that. Him too. Don't want to have to take on the whole of Arashmahar, but will do if I have to.

I looked at the Shaman, and he indicated he wanted to talk to Giles alone. Ok Spike, can do this. Buffy needs to clear her head, so no taking her to the bar. It's dark and she's maybe not in top fighting trim but we're both fast and strong enough for the local fauna. So walk it is.

I asked and she said yes!

Looked Rupert in the eye and he nodded for us to go, so I left him with his old mate. Opened the door of the hut and escorted my lady out into the night.



We weren't that far from the water hole, well not with super-speed and stamina. Need some exercise too, helps you know. So we set off at a fair trot. The night was clear, the sounds of the animals hunting echoed in the distance and I could hear the sound of drum based music and merriment. She could too. I could see the relative cool of the night help sober her back up and see her start to take in the surroundings.

"Bit of a change from home luv?"

"So little electricy light. Moon, stars, huts and I'm in Tanzania Spike. This is all so weird. Africa! I'm in Africa! We're in Africa! Together! And it's all green grassy massive landscape. Thought Africa was jungle, desert or starving famine victims. Desert, done desert and Miss Cryptic and her pet cat. But this guy's sister is a doctor in London. He's one of Giles old friends and he hasn't once tried to kill me, or turn me into my costume. Talking of which!"

"Sorry luv, but you were so cute! Prefer the blond hair though."

"Me too. I think your roots are beginning to show. How do you do dye your hair without a mirror? Always wanted to know."

"Carefully luv, very carefully." And she burst out laughing.

We carried on down the trail laughing together. It was great, can feel the weight starting to ease off my chest. If we can laugh together we can make it, and we're gonna. Made me a happy re-tuned vampire too by worrying about Giles and Anyanka too. Think it's still more worries about Giles getting hurt than any great concern for Anyanka, but she's getting there. Be nice if those two could be friends.



When we were almost at the water hole a couple of hyenas tried to make us dinner. We showed 'em who's ahead of who in the food chain, and it had the advantage of giving me some supper.

Found ourselves a nice vantage point to watch the elephants, zebras, gazelles and giraffes getting a late night cool drink, after a hot day of avoiding hungry lions and hyenas. Sitting down side by side beneath an acacia tree, she told me about Xander being possessed by a hyena spirit. The pig bit gave me a good laugh must say. Have to remember that one.

Then she told me what Xander had tried to do to her under the influence of that spirit. Hate having anything in common with that git. I started to apologise again. But she just put her finger to my lips and just said. "Forgiven, heard it already, know you mean it, made the change, don't need to hear it again. Past, gone, future now. Lets watch Discovery Channel in full surround sound and smellovsion. Never, ever thought I'd see this so gonna enjoy."



So we did.