Entry 10
The Elves are running around like chicken with their heads cut off. My Ringwraiths are terrorizing everyone. I have a huge army, pretty gold jewellry, and I won a Monopoly tournament today. Ha ha! Orcs have no luck when it comes to games. Ya gotta love it.
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Entry 11
Stupid Elves. Stupid Men. Stupid Isildur. Even my quack of a therapist can't help me get over this. Isildur cut off my finger, the one with MY RING. X-O It hurt!! Stupid Orcs lost it. Now I lost all my power. Stupid tower fell down. I'm gonna go sulk until they find it again.
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Entry 12
Back to Ping-Pong and bridge. Stupid Orcs don't know how to play, though Nazgul are quite good.
I am so bored. I even tried going to South Mirkwood for an extended vacation, but stupid Istari went off half-cocked from Isengard (stupid place) and interrupted my relaxation by trying to scare me off. Dumb wizard everyone called Saruman got all dressed up in white and with freaky makeup, pretended to be stupid ghost. Well, that was real stupid, but I left anyways, because what can you do when these idiots come barging in on you? And it wasn't so relaxing any more.
Stupid Saruman can't scare me: I've got 9 Nazgul hanging around the place at home (not counting my armies in the morning Aiyaa! @|@).
Note to self: Renovate my evil tower of doom. It's getting extremely dilapidated.
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Entry 13
Found out I've got a nice big evil spidey-thingymahooey guarding the other pass into Mordor. She's not stupid, she's cool! And she doesn't even need to be paid, unlike some others I could mention -_- *cough*ORCS*cough*NAZGUL* cough*. All she wants is to be able to eat everything that comes through her way, which is fine by me and saves me a lotta trouble. Paid her a visit last Saturday and had a v. enjoyable tea together. Found out her name is Shelob, and she's real nice, except she only knows how to play poker -_-, which sucks because I HATE poker. Tried to teach her Spit, but she wasn't happy about that and threatened to eat me. Oh well. The Nazgul are better for cards anyhow.
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Entry 14
Finally got my nice tower rebuilt properly :-). Even built a cute little town for the Orcs and the rest of my armies to live in when they're not off fighting and playing War. I call it 'Lugburz' which means 'cute little town' in the Black Speech*.
NAzgul are not happy because they aren't terrorizing people, even sulked when I organized an arm-wrestling tourney, just for them. Geez, what do you have to do to keep dead guys happy?! I'm doing my best to take over the world again so they can roam free, but I can't find MY RING! o Bloody well can't conquer the world until I find it again. Stupid men lost it, so stupid men can damn well find it. One day I'm gonna send my Nazgul out after it.
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Entry 15
Found weird little black thing wandering around outside Mordor today. Orcs caught it and brought it to me. It says its name is Gollum and that it was delighted that I had invited it home, but it could only stay for tea and it had to be home before dark. Ignored it, and sent it to the torturing chamber to get info from it. It hasn't talked yet, stupid stubborn thing, but by the sounds of the screams coming from the theatre where my Orcs are just finishing performing 'The Sound of Music' for the twenty-fourth time, it should be spilling its guts soon. I love being evil, though my therapist says such sadist tendencies are not good.
Seriously considering firing my stupid therapist.
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* Not really, but I have artistic license ;-)
